Kidney Stone Gate: Latest Updates & Funny Sanlu Photoshops

Sanlu Photoshop: The Thing: I drank Sanlu since I was small. 我从小就喝三鹿奶粉.

The Thing: “I drank Sanlu milk powder ever since I was small.”

Kidney Stone Gate Update:

  • There are now thousands of babies with kidney stones and four babies have died.
  • A government test of all the Chinese milk brands have shown that many contain melamine, including other big brands like Mengniu and Yili.
  • Starbucks, which used Mengniu, will not serve milk anymore and recommends soy milk to customers.
  • Many Hebei government officials have been arrested.
  • Sanlu’s General Manager, Tian Wenhua, has also been arrested.
  • Her daughter has run away to Switzerland, after her mom told her that she has already prepared everything for her.
  • The government has instructed the media and BBS forums to limit discussion about Sanlu and the melamine milk problem.

These pictures are collected from the Mop topic, “Sanlu Photoshop Pictures Collection, Continuously Updated (everyone join in),” before it was recently deleted:

When the Sanlu brand melamine milk powder incident happened, some people were happy that it was not the Yili brand, another big dairy products company:

Yili Photoshop: Liu Yifei.

Liu Yifei: “Good thing I am a spokesperson for Yili, hahaha!”

Yili Photoshop: Will Pan.

Will Pan: “Celebration that Yili was not chosen to be inspected!”

Yili Photoshop: Yi Jianlian: 早跟你们所喝伊利吧?没营养也比三聚氰胺强啊!

Yi Jianlian: “I told you all to drink Yili before, right? No nutrition is still better than melamine!”

Yili Photoshop: CEO, keep it low-key.

Yili Group Chairman and CEO: “Can you all be more low-key?! At this time, we should not attract attention to ourselves! Dammit, do you all not see that even I do not dare to kick a man when he is down?”

Of course, after the government tests, Yili was also found to have melamine in their products so they were not innocent either.

Sanlu Photoshop: Yi Jianlian: 谁都别想抢我的奶粉!

Yi Jianlian: “Do not even think about stealing my milk powder!”

Sanlu Photoshop: Yao Ming: 教练,来两杯三鹿,我可以跑完全场不撒尿!

Yao Ming: “Coach, get me two glasses of Sanlu, and I can run the whole game without having to pee!”

Melamine damages the kidneys over time and causes kidney stones as well as difficulty urinating. That is why many of these photoshops will make jokes about Sanlu affecting peeing.

Sanlu Photoshop: Yang Jia.

Caption: A man who was unable to urinate after drinking Sanlu went insane, broke into police station, and began attacking.

This is Yang Jia, the man who was recently convicted of murdering several Shanghai police officers earlier this year.

Sanlu Photoshop: Who to blame?

Tian Wenhua (Sanlu CEO): “I am innocent, I got the milk from the dairy farmers.”

Dairy Farmer: “I am wronged…do not blame me, it [the cow] did it.”

Cow: “None of my business, I just come out to eat grass.”

Grass: “Mother came from her mother. Grass came from grass’s mother. I came from my mother.”

Government Official: “I declare: The ultimate culprit for the Sanlu incident: Cao Ta Ma.”

[“Fuck Its Mother” or “Mother of Grass”]

Babies: “‘Cao Ta Ma,’ who is that?

Sanlu Photoshop: Vladimir Putin: "Use 500 SU-37s to exchange with China for the Sanlu formula! No cost is to be spared to get this kind of chemical weapon!" 用500架苏37和中国换三鹿的配方!不惜一切代价要得到这种化学武器!

Vladimir Putin: Use 500 SU-37s to exchange with China for the Sanlu formula! No cost is to be spared to get this kind of chemical weapon!

Sanlu Photoshops: Stone statue. One cup a day.

Sanlu, Infant Stone Milk Powder
One cup every day, create one generation of stone people.

Sanlu Photoshops: 我操!我喝了不少三鹿了!咋办呀!日你先人呀!

Crying Baby: “Fuck! I drank a lot of Sanlu! What can I do! Fuck your ancestors!”

Sanlu Photoshop: Young Chinese snorting white powder (Sanlu milk powder, not kingfen).

Young people snorting Sanlu milk powder (instead of kingfen)…and wearing pink.

Sanlu Photoshop: Pile of shit.

Squating Man: “Ever since I drank Sanlu milk powder, it took three months before I finally pooped it out.”

Sanlu Photoshop: Saddamn Hussein: 如果当初喝了这奶粉就不会去上厕所,就不会被小布什偷窥了,TMD!卑鄙!

Saddam Hussein: “If I had drank this milk powder so I did not have go to the toilet, I would not have been caught by George W. Bush, motherfucker! Despicable!

Sanlu Photoshop: Sanlu package 'cut along line' cuts off cartoon boy's head.

Sanlu Photoshop: Sanlu brand melamine. 三鹿牌三聚氰胺,一包顶过去五包.

Sanlu brand melamine. One pack replaces five packs!

Sanlu Photoshop: 更多三髅,更多营养. 三髅乳品.

More Three Skull, more nutrition.
Three Skull dairy products.

鹿 lu4 (deer) sounds like 髅 lou2 (skull).

Sanlu Photoshop: 新品上市 三聚氰胺牛奶  滋养更精彩 一成牛奶,九成三聚氰胺 十人使用,十人肾结石

New product!
Melamine Milk
Nourishment is more exciting!
10% milk, 90% melamine
Ten people use, ten people get kidney stones

Sanlu Photoshop: Michael Scofield: "In three days, they are going to make Lincoln drink Sanlu! What am I going to do! What am I going to do..."

Michael Scofield: “In three days, they are going to make Lincoln drink Sanlu! What am I going to do! What am I going to do…”

Sanlu Photoshop: Woman drinking from cow.

Girl under Cow: “After the incident with Sanlu, I no longer dare to drink milk powder, I must make do with this!”

Sanlu Photoshop: 三鹿结石,货真价实!

Sanlu stones, high quality, good price!

Sanlu Photoshop: Naked boy swimming: 'I finally pissed!'

Jumping Boy: “I finally pissed!”

Sanlu Photoshop: Sanlu's new spokesman. 三鹿新的形象代言人.

Sanlu’s new spokesman.

Sanlu Photoshop: Liu Xiang: 教练:喝三鹿我尿憋.

Liu Xiang: “Coach, I drank Sanlu, I cannot urinate.”

Sanlu Photoshop: Liu Xiang: "If I had just been a spokesperson for Sanlu, I could blame withdrawing from the Olympics on the dairy farmers..." 我要是当年代言三鹿就好了,这样退赛就可以赖在奶农身上了。。。

Liu Xiang: “If I had just been a spokesperson for Sanlu, I could blame withdrawing from the Olympics on the dairy farmers…”

Sanlu Photoshop: Kim Jong-il: 同志们:感谢中国支援的三鹿奶粉。我们的士兵可以长时间呆在战壕不撒尿,提高了战斗力!憋死对面的棒子军,看谁憋的久!

Kim Jong-il: “Comrades: I thank China for giving us Sanlu milk powder. Our troops can stay in the trenches without urinating, increasing combat effectiveness! Make the South Korean army hold their urine until they die, let us see which side can hold it in longer!”

Sanlu Photoshop: George W. Bush: 'We need to establish a Sanlu defense system!' 我们要建立三鹿防御系统!太可怕了!

George W. Bush: We must establish a Sanlu defense system! It is too frightening!

Sanlu Photoshop: Furong Jie Jie.

Drink Sanlu and a good figure will naturally be revealed~~

This is a picture of Furong Jiejie, a Chinese woman who became famous on the internet because she always thinks she has a beautiful body.

Sanlu Photoshop: Furong Jiejie: 'Who says I am fat? ! I simply drank Sanlu and am swollen with urine!'

Furong Jiejie: “Who says I am fat? ! I simply drank Sanlu and am swollen with urine!”

Sanlu Photoshop: Feng Shui Bu Jing Yun 风水步惊云

Feng Shui Bu Jing Yun: “I took a Jissbon, put Sanlu milk powder inside, added water, created a Jiss rod, and will test out its power for everyone!”

After being hit by the Jiss rod, passed out for 16 hours. Stone milk powder, really powerful!

Sanlu Photoshop: Cowsis.

From the video game, Crysis.

Sanlu Photoshop: Sanlu milk powder, us stepmothers all approve!

Spokesperson: “Sanlu milk powder, us stepmothers all approve!”

Sanlu Photoshop: 吃了这奶粉,尿布都省了.

“Eat this milk powder, save on diapers!”

Sanlu Photoshops: 三鹿奶粉罪魁祸首.

Sanlu Milk Powder: The Ultimate Culprit

[From top to bottom]

Fan holding banner: “China must shoot!”

Player scratching head: “Sanlu? I think I drank it before. How can it be like this?”

Referee with player #2: “Hurting others because your own kidney is not good. your heart is not balanced.”

China football coach: “Why did my children not shoot, turns out it was because their kidneys are bad.”

Three players: “What is going on? I was still okay when I took a bath last night.”

Inspection official: I don’t care if you are Zhou Zheng Long or Xie Ya Long, as long as you have a bad kidney, you are an insect.

[In Chinese, the opposite of 龙 long2, dragon is 虫 chong2, insect. Dragons are big and powerful, but insects are small and insignificant. It also rhymes.]

Xie Ya Long, head of China Football Association: “Who says my kidneys are bad? You tell me. Are you all trying to fuck with me? I tell you, no way. I do not strike this pose for no reason, my kidneys are fine!”

Foreign player in white jersey talking to Chinese player #8: “Buddy, do not lose faith, I will tell you a trick I do not tell everyone: Leave the country, quickly, do a few difficult push-ups, I promise it will work.”

Sanlu Photoshops: 尿急尿频 ,一喝就灵.

Sanlu Pharmaceutical Limited Liability Company
Frequent Urge To Pee, Effective upon drinking.
San Lu Children’s Stone Milk Powder

Sanlu Photoshop: Please be careful when drinking milk 喝奶清追安全.

Please be careful when drinking milk.

Sanlu Photoshop: Weapons of Mass Destruction 大规模杀伤武器.

Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Jokes involving Sanlu have become very popular ever since the melamine baby formula milk powder incident happened. Many posters on BBS forums often reply to topics with only pictures. Here are two Photoshops used when commenters sometimes use when they disagree with the “lou zhu” or the person who started the topic:

Sanlu Photoshop: 楼祝贺了三鹿奶粉!!

“Lou zhu” drank Sanlu milk powder! [he is a stone statue]

Sanlu Photoshop: 天哪!镂主在喝三鹿而且喝得好开心!

“Oh my god! ‘Lou zhu’ is drinking Sanlu, and is even drinking it happily!”

Mop is well-known for having many members that are good at using Photoshop. For example, when someone on KDS requests a picture be photoshopped, others often tell them to go ask on Mop. There are some more Sanlu Photoshops on NetEase, if it has not yet been deleted.

This is Part 5 of the the Sanlu Milk Powder Incident, see also:

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  • http://w0bzzy.blogspot.com w0bzzy

    lmao @ liu xiang’s olympic picture xD

  • krdr

    Not funny

  • iHateKidneyStones

    Sanlu 赢了啦。
    Make so many babies die.
    God kill them all Sanlu shareholders and the govt alongside with it.

  • Haha

    hahahahahaha

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  • dave

    Boy, these people need to work on their humor. Not one of these made me laugh or even smile. Is this humor the best China has to offer?

  • http://www.cnreviews.com Kai

    @ dave:

    Aw come on, some of them are pretty funny. Maybe its a pop culture divide or something. Though, personally, I think the very last one is just funny in of itself because of the art. Bush’s defense system? That’s funny. Putin? He’s always funny…when not looking outright sinister. Prison Break? Little boy getting his head cut off? Come on, that’s pretty funny just because it wasn’t noticed, right?

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  • dave

    Kai,

    Maybe it is just the translations. “Pop culture divide”?? I don’t think so.

    But anyway enjoy your laughs:)

    Dave

  • krdr

    I liked first one. But any other, which involves kids, are funny, but gross.

  • mark liu

    those Japanese cartoon adaptions are god-damned funny

  • http://www.cnreviews.com Kai

    @ dave:

    Yeah, humor often gets lost in translation. The reason I said maybe pop-culture divide is because its quite true. Think of the icanhazcheezeburger or lolcat stuff. Not everyone gets it, but for those who do, they’re damn funny. With the photoshops above, the fu rong jie jie stuff or the snorting kingfen stuff are pretty squarely China pop-culture, much less the photoshop blaming Sanlu for the joke that is the Chinese national football/soccer team. The Bush and Putin stuff are political pop-culture. I imagine those would resonate with most people even outside of China.

    @ mark liu:

    LoL, yeah, totally. You have to hand it to Japanese anime for being able to exaggerate to a whole new level. Hilarious stuff.

  • Bong

    This website very disrespect to China and Chinese culture. Much shame for you, piggy writer who attack Chinese greatness in momentary time of weak.

  • Bob

    Bong is a dumbass. You’re weak now because your own scandals made your country weak. Why blame others when it started with your own people? Stfu.

  • SniperWZ

    I’m Chinese and I don’t think this website is intended to attack China; the most outraged people and the most affected people in this scandal are fellow Chinese…we really do need to address these serious issues because it is in our own self-interest, China will become stronger after it tackles these problems, and that is the goal here.

    It may not be pretty exposing these kind of things, but remember, it’s better to solve problems than to ignore them, it’s important that we’ll always have the last laugh…

  • sirius

    What the F*@k?! kids are dieing and mothers are greaving over this. Please People get real and take back your souls

  • Johnny Sickomoe

    I find it funny…

    When carefore said something about Chinese. Millions protested and stopped people from entering shops. There were many

    When a Chinese poisoned the milk of infants… People write on the internet and say, “Well, this lets address this in rational mannor.”

    I think that the way Sanlu is being handled is fine. But, I just find it weird that carrefore and CNN comments can make people go into the streets, while actual milk poisoning causes photoshops.

  • yuki

    love the dig at Chinese men soccer team!

  • Spelunker

    Let me tell you which 23 are the funniest:

    1. Squatting Man on beach
    2. That funny photo of the Chinese chick sucking a cow’s teat: 卧妞嘬牛
    3. Kim Jong-Il

    #1 and #2 on the above list actually made me laugh out loud.

  • Chinamerican

    I can’t lie, I totally LoLed.

  • http://foodcert.5d6d.com foodcert

    as a chinese, why should you post so many ugly things on your web,especially for the foreigners?

  • kris

    just cant laugh at this……it’s sad, and it’s shame

  • http://www.a.com.hk rudekiller

    nice

  • kanluranlee

    The Beijing Olympics were spectacular to say the least. But this Melamine incident is really a bummer! Why would people do such a thing! All concerned must burn in hell!

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  • Phobe Lexx

    Some of the best shit I’ve seen on this website yet. You’ve made my day.

    More…More…More…Please.

  • LATE CNer

    THE PICTURES ARE Satire THE SANLU MATTERS .

  • L8 Nite

    The pic of the pregnant little girl was disturbing. It didn’t need to be posted in this article :(

  • Gubenšek

    lol i laughed at a few of them xD stil the fact that some babies died of this crap depreses me >.>

  • aewafa@afdasf.com

    idiots

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