College Schoolgirl: 3 Years, 5 Abortions

Girl: Three years of university, had five abortions.

From NetEase:

A Girl’s Monologue: Three years of college, five painless abortions

My boyfriend treating me like this, what should I do???

I am a university student in Xi’an. This year I am a senior, and I am from Hubei Province.

When I was in my first year, my current boyfriend pursued me. At the time, he was very sincere and what more, I didn’t think find him annoying, so we started to date. Two months later, he rented an apartment outside of campus, and we began to live together. Not long later, I became pregnant. In order to let me have a painless abortion, he spent all of the money on his bank card meant for his living expenses and borrowed money from his schoolmates. At the time, he told me that he wanted me to worry about nothing. After the baby was aborted – maybe it was because of guilt – he cried, and so did I.

When I was in my second year, I had my second pregnancy, and again it was that hospital and a painless abortion but his attitude was obviously not good this time, because I didn’t listen to him and go to a clinic to get a drug abortion (which is cheaper). Compared to last time, he would not pay because I would not listen to him, so most of the medical expenses were paid by myself.

He is not willing to use condoms, saying they are uncomfortable. Because I am very dependent on him in my heart, so I usually listen to him. As a result, after a short vacation where I went home and everything was fine, I became pregnant yet again at the start of my second semester of my second year. Because the two of us really did not have much money at the time, I listened to him and went to a drug abortion at a clinic across from a big hospital. After the drug abortion, that doctor said part of the fetus was still there, so afterward I also had surgery. For the inflammation after the surgery, my boyfriend once again borrowed money, and I was also very touched (he seldom likes borrowing stuff from others, especially money).

In May this year, I was pregnant again. This time, we had enough money, and had a painless abortion. However, we had a fight in the end anyway. I asked him to buy me some sanitary napkins, and when he brought them back, I said they were not appropriate and I want the wider ones. He was not willing and said I was was being picky and wasteful. I was very hurt. In the end, I thought he was a boy who didn’t understand girl’s stuff and he came to sooth me, so I forgave him.

In September, I was pregnant again, painless abortion again~~~

In the following 2+ months, he is always trying to fight with me, unhappy with everything about me~~

The day before yesterday, we had a fight over a trifle, and he mentioned breaking up and even moved back to the dorms for the night, abandoning me alone in the Chengzhongcun apartment. What hurt me the most was during the fight he said this:

“You still think you are still the same as before. You look the same, but in fact you are already an incomplete woman. Whoever is with you will be unlucky, having had so many abortions yet still so arrogant. My family only has me as their only child and I certainly do not want to break the family line. You fu*king go be with whoever you should be with.”

I called him after he left, but he didn’t answer. These two days, I stayed alone in the apartment, did not go out, and also did not go to class. Finals are coming. What he said keeps playing in my mind over and over again and I cannot forget it. I am so scared, but I don’t know who I can talk to. I don’t know what I should do. I think I still have feelings for him, but what he said definitely deeply hurt me. What do I do if in the future I have habitual abortions and he again doesn’t want me anymore? I really would be an incomplete woman. My future husband will be extremely sad because I cannot give birth to a child, what am I going to do~~~! I am really like wood right now, my brain unable to think of anything else. Please, everyone, kindly help me. Any experienced sisters please tell me what I can do to make him change his mind and come back? By the way, he also told me that he purposely made me pregnant the first time, because he loved me and wanted to make our relationship more firm.

What should I do? Right now, my heart is so conflicted yet I do not know what I am conflicted about. I am begging you to help me, help give me some advice, okay? Please~~~!

The original poster, 孤鸿飞雪, also selected and posted several netizen responses.

Thank you to the following netizen responses:

[Netizen: hbxgck] I don’t get it. She knows clearly that this man is scum…but this protagonist still married him. Isn’t she asking for trouble for herself? There is an old saying: A woman fears marrying the wrong guy. You yourself chose this road, so please deal with the consequences yourself.

[Netizen: 老实的表哥] Your boyfriend simply is not a responsible person, so why are you still dating him? Hurry and break up, breaking up will be good/make your happy, and plan a better future for yoursel, haha…

[Netizen: yulouyue] Give up this relationship, don’t be so blind, he is not the only man in the world. Nowadays, not every guy is a virgin, so what right do they have to demand that their wives be virgins? Plus, now is not the old days. Leave him and you will find a better one.

[Netizen: Liqun8399] You do not know to use contraception for yourself? If you yourself do not value your own body, who else would care? This kind of man, and you still love him? You really need to think about it.

[Netizen: xueqiang0799] If you have another abortion, I bet you will no longer be able to have children. Eat more old hen to convalesce.

[Netizen: 心湖无涟漪] If you say the first and second time were because you were young and ignorant, we can say forget it. However, you instead made the same mistake five times in three years, it is you yourself who truly does not value your own body, who truly does not take care of your own body. If you are regretting it now, you have only yourself to hate.

[Netizen: cyq_cqu] It is okay to leave this scum! Woman, your own body is the most important thing! Study hard, take care of your body, and it would be best to stop being with this kind of person. Also, stop believing any lie he tells you (what he says when he wants to be satisfied)! Don’t always think of depending on others, you need to be independent!

Additional comments from NetEase:

〓♂〓:

It would be better for you to be a hooker than his girlfriend.

prebaby:

If what you said is true, you are just a stupid c*nt. If you do not respect yourself, do not blame others for not treating you like a person.

larrysun:

Your body is really strong body. I am looking forward to your sixth abortion.

chenlongmail:

What is you name? Tell me.
I just want to make sure I won’t meet you.

zjc2008685:

What a stupid c*nt woman, stop polluting the reputation of Chinese college student. Disgusting to the extreme. I don’t know why men and women are so sordid/contemptible nowadays.

zhhrmghg-001:

Those who are pitiful must have a cause for having sunk to their lows.
Your experience makes people sympathetic at first, but, in the end it is still you who caused your problem~~~
Hurry and break up, there is no reason to be reluctant to leave such a man!!!

河南农民:

Speechless! Sexual ability very strong, man and woman!

hetao1120:

Too careless. You need to know that if a girl has an abortion before marriage, that guy definitely not want her anymore. Men like new/fresh things too much. Men do not become lecherous after becoming rich, but rather they are lecherous by nature. Money only gives them more means.

ty-2:

Women, I no longer know what to say. Truly it is that saying: If a man is not bad, women won’t love him! The more bad he is, the more women love him. Who can you blame?

wssgz163net:

A woman should know to respect herself and protect herself. What you did (having five abortions for him, just because he thinks wearing condoms is uncomfortable), and while I admire this kind of woman’s endurance, you lost your self-respect by doing this. On the other hand, we can also say you are an unlucky person, having found a man who only wants to “play” with you. You were moved because he felt guilty the first time you got an abortion, but the second time was a burden to him, because you spent a lot of his money. Think about it, if you brought him such a big financial burden, would he still value you? This kind of man is truly vile, not knowing how to protect his own woman. I remind you: Wake up, find your dignity back. If you keep going like this, it will be odd if you guys do not break up, and the person who gets hurt will be you. Don’t rely on him for everything, learn to be independent, and make yourself happy. I hope you can change your current situation, Your’s sincerely.

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90 Comments

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  1. We can see that the boy is not responsible. I suggest the girl leave him as soon as possible. I think if a guy really loves you, he will never care whether you are a virgin or not.
    China is changing. Views, ideas, perceptions and perspectives are being challenged, adapted and reviewed each day. Nothing in China stands still. The sexual habits of China’s modren urban youth are also changing. However, the sex education is not enough. Youngsters should know more about sex. Only if they get more knowledge about sex can they protect themselves well.

  2. whoah, the quality of the comments here do leave a bit to be desired, some bordering on hostility to women in general.

    I feel for the poor girl and am sad that information is not readily available about alternatives to condoms. Yes the Pill, or an IUD even should have been recommended by the doctors/nurses at the abortion clinic. Even a morning after pill is cheaper than an abortion. Sad, but so true of the ignorance about sex in China.

  3. in pure logic, the guy is not, shall we say, wrong. because the girl was not coerced to stick to him, in other words, both of them acted on their own decision, no undue influence on either side.

  4. I’m surprised pro-choice supporters haven’t showed up.

  5. Um,…. as much as I hate the idea of abortion, can we be surprised that these two monkeys are that stupid? Chi mates, much like their predeciessors the Monk tards are incapable of utilizing rational thoughts to make decisions.

    They are the inferior species of pri mate species variation and therefore cannot be held responsible for their actions.

  6. @Terry
    RE: “I feel for the poor girl and am sad that information is not readily available about alternatives to condoms.”

    The fact you make an assumption that girls here don’t know about birth control (the pill and such) is a crock.

    They do, they just choose not to go that route, because many of them are stupid..stupid..stupid fucking idiots. Your pity is wasted.

    @Peteryang

    That’s exactly why both are to blame, and both will suffer their ignorant choices in life through financial burdens, physical damage, and mental anguish. They made their bed, now they lay in it, no pity from me.

  7. that’s really terrible!

    i hope u need to strong and independent!! forget the past,restart!!
    besudes,i think girls need to protect herselves

    however,sex-education in China really need to improve.
    the similar cases are happening every day. But the question is what we can deal with such problems. In my opinion, it’s time for a social change, a full conceptual change. We need a society regarding sex-education, particularly in youth, as a normal and necessary thing.

  8. that’s really terrible.

    i hope u can be more independent and stronger!!forget the past! restart!
    best wishes!

    Besides, i think we girls need to protect ourselves better and sex-education in China need to be improved.
    the similar cases are happening every day. But the question is what we can deal with such problems. In my opinion, it’s time for a social change, a full conceptual change. We need a society regarding sex-education, particularly in youth, as a normal and necessary thing.

  9. I can imagine how hard it may be for you but you must pick yourself up and go to God… He is the only one that can heal the pain no one knows is there- he will forgive you. You can find someone else but you must keep your business your business! Men have lots of secrets that they dont share with you but you MUST protect yourself and your reputation I pray you … dont put yourself through it again …. you have made mistakes and evveryone has no matter how dark I PROMISE no one tells you everything I dont care who they are … but dont do it again !! and dont take him back ..ignore his calls or any contact he tries to make …he will feel it … even if he doesnt tell you …always make sure you look your very best you will felel better and he will be jealous ..I know everyone always says this but trust me TIME can heal you get the book… The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson…. It will help you focus and release the pain. You are young go enjpy life while you still can … your latter days will be better than your former.!! Be blessed!!

  10. DAY AFTER PILL!!!

    or directly after your period, have lots of sex, and then a week after, don’t have sex.

    besides why does he have to come inside you every time? that’s stupid and selfish.

  11. That’s just crazy or foolish. Whichever comes first. With all the money you wasted for the abortions, you could of stockpile all day after pill! Didn’t think about it, did you?

    Hmmm, college schoolgirls aren’t very smart, huh?

  12. Birth control doesn’t always work. When a woman is perceived to have good genes, men will circumvent the system and lie through their teeth. I feel sorry for mothers who endure.

    I don’t feel some of our most frequent bloggers are true blue chinese.

    Get the hell away from my country if you judge the people!

    Go to Africa where noone dare to protect the women and where corrupt men try to force their once women to live in shame!

    But you already there as well! Maybe you just hell bent on taking over universe, communist outsider!

  13. Wow, yes this happened, has been reported… and yes these 2 INDIVIDUALS are not on the bright side, but… that still doesn’t justify all the generalizations here. Even mentions of the sex ed??? How do you get there from this article? Any opinion is fine, don’t have to justify them or generalize it to anyone else i would think. Simply saying that these 2 dumb f*cks should never reproduce is reason enough for me to keep abortion available!

  14. I did in fact notice the Japanese flag (in several places) and the resentment it brought.
    I also noted the near mass extinction when chiMps thought they could play the Arabs.
    I then noticed chinese deserting their army.

    Any educated person knows the chess board changes daily.
    Second by second Century by Century.
    Perhaps you just don’t have TIME

    Too busy shopping for your new chinese takeover girlfriend not enough time

    So sure, let’s friendly fire and then let the arab bastards get away. Cause we know how great our grand master chess players are.

    You could die dead center. Your girlfriend would be out shopping or complaining of a broken television.

    Then your mob would drown a woman who helped you make peace with her country.

    You remind me of a man I dated who was often accused of being a “sell-out.”

    Have fun with your new Stepford wife.

    And when the Arabs start liking her too much, you won’t have China to call for backup when the real enemies try to destroy us.

    But, hell. She’ll wear a veil for you. I wouldn’t.

  15. You have a bright future in porn movies industry..

  16. Dear young lady, may I suggest that you look for some counselling from mature people. Your dependency on your boyfriend (immature man)did not help, nor did the casual sex you had. You need to discover your own value and be more confident. Do not listen to offensive comments. You are always valuable person but need to heal inside and find your self esteem. Best wishes.

  17. westerners assume china has a stringent moral code, but in reality there is only cultural decadence and people who claim they are realists but in fact they are money loving whores

  18. There is a brand new invention out there it’s called a CONDOM. Use it!

  19. Yes! Great analogy.

  20. Clearly you have never heard of Birth Control.

    Most pregnant woman don’t have the heart to abort their babies even once, but for you; 5 times, Do you have a heart, just wondering .

  21. You know who is really at fault here?

    Japan and the Western Media.

    They’re the ones to blame!!!

  22. Didn’t you know western medicine is bad, contraceptive pill hurts your body and is bad western medicine, and condoms are uncomfortable, so if she wants to do more damage to her body getting it ripped out or dissolved with chemicals it’s her choice and her choice alone. wake up will you! And Fike2308, last I checked prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, another great invention that China can be proud to claim.

  23. There is consequences if you love a person more than you love god. and because of that, this girl is blinded by the false hope she has with that man. and She is at fault as well not to blame it all on the man, and until you can accept The lord jesus christ as your saviour, you can never get the happiness your soul and spirit long for, you will continue travel in this endless road of suffering.

    To people who can pass this message to her, please do.
    To people who are angered by my statement, I want you to feel so.
    For god says in the bible, He doesnt want men to preach his words that is pleasing to men, He wants men to preach his words that are not pleasing. To me i understand why you would be angered if you read this, and i pray your spirit recognise it.

  24. Oh my… this girl needs to wise up for her own sake. I feel bad for her pain, but she must stop letting this guy hurt her. At least in the US, if done properly, abortions of any number won’t make you infertile. But that’s not the main issue. This guy is a total jerk! He’s made her go through the expense and inconvenience (and perhaps pain and emotional trauma) of FIVE abortions so he can feel a little better during sex? She shouldn’t let him walk over her like that. What a horrible guy. Condoms make you last longer and give you peace of mind, and if a guy really cared about the girl he would use them. Or they’d find another method that worked for them- there are many methods (IUDs, pills, etc.) It’s not just the pregnancies- he just sounds like a terrible boyfriend, not worth any girl’s time. She should respect herself more and try life without him. Easier said than done, but trust me- life is better without a bad boyfriend. I know from personal experience.

    I’m pro-choice, but I also think if you don’t want to have a baby, you should make every effort to not get pregnant. If birth control fails or you’re raped, or some sort of accident happens, yes, you should have an abortion if it’s what you want. But abortions aren’t fun, and even if you don’t feel guilty or sad about it, you should at least keep in mind they’re expensive, while birth control is cheap in comparison. Do yourself a favor and use it! Abortion should be your last resort, for your own sake. It’s not as risky as giving birth, but it’s more risky than not getting pregnant in the first place. I’m not saying women shouldn’t have the right to an abortion if they want it. And I don’t want to judge anyone. But when she puts her situation up for comment, well… that’s my comment. Lose the jerk, use birth control and have safe sex or no sex at all!

  25. Chinese are more open sexually nowadays. Abortions are nothing. We have to ask honestly whether we are the civilised lot afterall despite having claimed we have civilised for more than 5000 years. Do bear in mind China has the fastest growth rate and highest number in term of AIDS population in the world.

  26. I Think He is not the right guy for you. I really don’t understand why you are still in love with him despite the fact that he treat you like you are not a human being. My advice to you is to forget about him and focus on study. You don’t need Him to make you feel complete. He does not care about you period. However you also have to work on a lot of your emotional problems too. Being Preg five time with the same guy is definitely not Ok. You should really examine yourself and ask yourself ” Do you really love yourelf?

  27. can’t she go on the pill? is it not common in China for girls to go on the pill? She just killed 5 lives due to her carelessness

  28. Everyone seems to be so surprised about the number of abortions but how do you think those ubiquitous ‘women’s medical clinics’ everywhere stay in business? Take a look around your local KTV or hairshop alley and you’ll see some for sure.

    Remember the Chinese didn’t grow up in a Christian state and don’t have the same taboos against abortion. I’ve also known girls to take those morning after pills like candy.

  29. i know its difficult for you to leave him especially what you have been through, but believe me, you are better off single than with him..think about it. EVEN IF you marry him he will have another lover anyway.
    Another, you make such mistakes maybe due to your environment, because since i was young,my parents teach me how to protect ourself. anyway now that it is too late to regret, stop regretting and moves forward. be strong, i know you can do it, because our lives is in our hand! just let that nameless, wothless, prideless, lame, irresponsible,stupid, *all the bad words u can think of* begone from your life!

    rmember: life is in your hand

  30. if this guy was trying to use the pull out method… he failed very badly. no skill…

    not that i condone the pull out method or think that it is an alternative to using a condom. also if he doesn’t want to use a condom at all and she loves this guy so much. why doesn’t she go on the pill?

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