chinaSMACK 2009 Readers Choice Award Nominations

26 Comments

1. Papito

   Thursday, December 24, 2009 at 6:16 pm

   Best commenter – PUSAN PLAYA; Most annoying commenter – Kai

   Reply
   • Jay K

     Friday, December 25, 2009 at 5:32 pm

     I SECOND THIS WITH CAPS LOCK ON PUSAN PLAYA IS THE DAMN MOST HILARIOUS AND COMMENTOR ON THESE BLOGS! Pusan Playa you are like a Boxer, Jaedong, and Stork rolled into one!

     andf what papito said about kai, i sometimes 2nd the rightouesness gets to me at times. I often wondered if kai is having a cognac with tumbler or a glass of wine when he types his posts. if so i would like to see it MNr. Kai :-)

     Reply
     • 250

       Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 12:20 pm

       First of all i’d like to apologise fo doing a ‘Righteous American’ (i.e. Replying to something unrelated near the top so more people will see it).

       Anyway i’d just like to remind you all this is just for giving your 3 or more nominations, NOT YOUR SINGLE VOTE. This is just so we have a better idea which posts/people to nominate when the voting does come around next week.

       We just wanted to involve the community more, so that when voting time does come we don’t get people complaining about our choices or that we left an important post/person out.

       Thanks to everyone for helping us out.

       Reply
2. Fauna

   Thursday, December 24, 2009 at 7:35 pm

   Best commenter-Kai

   Just kidding

   Reply
3. Joe

   Thursday, December 24, 2009 at 9:24 pm

   Why am I a new face around here?

   Reply
4. whichone

   Friday, December 25, 2009 at 9:34 am

   Funniest posts
   – Wrong hole, if you did not laugh out loud, seriously need to loosen up
   – District 9: the translated Chinese comments are fantastic, harmonious & retarded Chinese government, netizens honor thee.
   – Nosebleed brother: merging anime and the real world, one pathetic drop of blood at a time.

   Most Controvertial
   – Lou Jing the black girl from Shanghai, revealed some rather uncomfortable truths about Chinese racial attitudes.
   – British drug smuggler sentenced to death to be carried out in 4-5 days (December 29th)
   – Qianlong’s artifacts auctioned, you are either chink with giant chip on the shoulder or the bigotted western devil are out to humiliate China, we all need something better to do.

   Best overall Post: Lou Jing story, not only does it expose the racial issues harmoniously ignored in China, the comments under the post is like a microcosm of the internet featuring bigots from every race demostrating all kinds of stupid, with a few tolerant attitudes buried among giant piles of turds.

   Best new staff:
   Python, Tingting, Maxiewawa in no particular order, for their follow ups, gargantuan translations and their donated time/efforts for the entertainment of rest of us.

   Best commenter:
   -Kai, hands down the most consistently well organized and thoughtout comments you sometimes a bit too pedantic but definitely miles above the rest and elevates the level of discourse.
   – Final Word, only commented on post as far as I know (French dudes on airplanes), stay was short but oh-so-sweet.
   – All the other regulars here too many to name, how about a collectively nomination for us the steady followers?
   – Special mention: Pusan Playa, as far as trolls go, can’t get any better (or is it can’t sink any lower?), racist ignorant retarded hick supposedly out of Korea who occasionally surprises us with some sensible observations. There really ought to be an award for him.

   –

   Thank you chinaSMACK staff and especially Fauna, as an overseas Chinaman whose Chinese linguistic skill might charitably be compared to a semi-illiterate retarded eleven-year-old, here I’ve kept informed and entertained.

   Reply
5. Fauna

   Friday, December 25, 2009 at 11:15 am

   Hi everyone,

   Please only nominate for the 8 categories. This should be a fun and nice activity. This should not be an activity to repeat your disagreement with other commenters. Please choose who you think is your favorite commenter. If you do not have one, then please skip this category. You guys can attack each other in the normal comments. Please help us identify the best posts for this year. Thank you.

   Reply
6. Kai

   Friday, December 25, 2009 at 3:03 pm

   It’ll take some time to look back into the chinaSMACK archives to figure out which posts I want to nominate and I have Christmas dinner to prepare, so I’m just going to say one thing real quick:

   I sincerely appreciate the vote of confidence by some of you, but if its possible, I’d rather disqualify or withdraw myself from the competition. Two reasons:

   1. Being nominated gives me pressure and holds me up to a certain expectation, kinda like Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. This isn’t good, especially when I’m generally trying to wean myself off of commenting so much on chinaSMACK, in part to keep my sanity from being eroded away by the hordes of idiots and racist hypocrites.

   2. Frankly, I’m not going to win because I know I’ve made my fair share of haters on chinaSMACK in my time and I also know I’ve occassionally indulged myself in being mean (see above). As such, I’d rather you all save your nominations and votes for someone more deserving, someone who has managed to be more consistently well-behaved than someone like me, who has actually previously incurred the wrath of The Fauna who sternly reprimanded me for “wasting my time” with trolls, deleting several of comments feeding them.

   I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

   - George Bernard Shaw

   I still firmly support those who would voice rational arguments with those they disagree with, those who would pierce the darkness (so to speak) and be willing to be the lone voice of reason, I’m struggling with that lesson above. I’m trying to avoid the sophistry I occasinally indulge myself in, as well as sounding pendantic when I don’t mean to. I’m learning to pick my battles, to identify and ignore those that would be ignored, and only fight those who are truly as persuasive as they are wrong, dangerous, and destructive.

   I’m no Obama.

   chinaSMACK is a great website offering a great insight into an aspect of modern Chinese culture that largely remains unseen and unappreciated by most non-Chinese readers. That said, the subject-matter undoubtedly lends itself to appealing to some of the lower common denominators of not just the internet but society overall. It’d be great if all the offensive idiocy posted in the comments here were all made in jest, by everyone fully in on some big joke with each other, but that’s just not the case, and that’s really disappointing…but perhaps ultimately unavoidable.

   Before I wax on reflectively with the spirit of the holiday season, I’m going to make some preliminary Best Commenter nominations off the top of my head, without checking if I’m remembering these names for the right reason:

   whichone, Yin, and Quinon

   whichone probably comments the most of these three, but I recall (again, not sure if correctly) them all bringing in some good, rational, reasonable points without seeing them say something excessively offensive or annoying elsewhere. I wish they, and those like them, would comment more often, or perhaps they’re just smarter than me. Cheers, everyone, Merry Christmas.

   Reply
   • PUSAN PLAYA

     Friday, December 25, 2009 at 5:40 pm

     “Being nominated gives me pressure and holds me up to a certain expectation, kinda like Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. This isn’t good, especially when I’m generally trying to wean myself off of commenting so much on chinaSMACK, in part to keep my sanity from being eroded away by the hordes of idiots and racist hypocrites.”

     I’m going to take your analogy and give it a twist, I am more deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize than Obama, I haven’t assaulted anyone in my adult life and I’m certainly a better political commentator. China doesn’t need an Obama, it needs an Otto Von Bismarck, a man who realises that China’s great questions will be decided not by “hope and change” but by iron and blood!

     Despite my Korean heritage, I am the personification of China’s aspirations, for Koreans went from being poor and backwards to being rich and awesome in a very short period of time, that’s the Chinese dream, I comment in order to help you realise that goal.

     In order for China to be a great nation, it must become not only rich but moral and dignified, to which end it must embrace Democracy, Liberalism and Calvinism. Such radical change cannot be accomplished overnight, you need a great leader like me or President Park to seize the reigns of power and show the path of light to the oppressed masses!

     A vote for me is the vote for the realisation of Sun Yat Sen’s dreams, the Three Principles of the People and the unity of Korean and Chinese interests!!!!

     Reply
     • Kai

       Friday, December 25, 2009 at 7:43 pm

       Well-played. I do like the new you, btw, as your satire is on a whole new level compared to the low-brow stuff of your earlier comments.

       Reply
7. BaoBei

   Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 8:52 am

   1. Funniest Post:”Perverted Girls, Experiences By Chinese Men Series (1-5)”…made me laugh cuz i know most of the stories are fictitious.

   2. Strangest Post:”Ugly Girl Seeks Marriage, Distributes Leaflets w/ High Demands”…i was very confused when i saw her face.

   3. Sexiest Post: “Perverted Girls, Experiences By Chinese Men Series (1-5)”…although the stories are fake, its great stuff if you look at the main pic and let your imagination roam~

   4. Most Touching:”Hubei University Students Drown While Saving Children”…nice but sad story.

   5. Most Controversial: “Beijing Prostitute Posts Customers’ Mobile Numbers & AIDS”…although other stories got many more comments, this one actually shocked me a bit, got me to check my # a few times.

   6. Best Overall Post:”Shanghai ‘Black Girl’ Lou Jing Abused By Racist Netizens”…as an individual of color, the comments on both sides of this were quite interesting to read.

   7. Best New Staff Contributor: Maxiewawa

   8. Best Commenter: PUSAN PLAYA…this was a toss-up between Pusan and Kai, but Pusan’s comments just made me laugh with the obvious bigotry, and it must take a bit of determination to continuously deliver comments of that caliber.

   Reply
8. Kai

   Sunday, December 27, 2009 at 10:33 pm

   It was really hard to narrow down three nominations for many of the categories. Many posts could fit for both the Strangest and Funniest categories. Either that, or I have a strange sense of humor. I also think there should be a Most Shocking category, as quite a few posts could bear that mantle proudly. For the Best Overall Post category, the main difficulty was figuring out how I should judge them. Should I just a post by whether it:

   a) was subjectively interesting or entertaining,
   b) attracted a lot of attention or comments,
   c) offered an insight into Chinese internet culture or netizens, or…
   d) helped show that Chinese people are human like every other race or nationality?

   My nominations, in no particular order (except maybe reverse chronological):

   1. Funniest Post
   - Chinese Girl Shows Off, Becomes Internet Joke
   A really simple, straight-forward Photoshop post.
   - True Men: Happy Girl Zeng Yike & Super Girl Li Yuchun
   LoL, Rambo. You don’t know shit about the Chinese internet if you didn’t know about Zeng Yike in 2009.
   - Tattoo Artist Shows Off His Awful Work & Victims
   So much fail, so many times, by so many people. It was just fail after fail after fail…

   2. Strangest Post
   - Ugly Girl Seeks Marriage, Distributes Leaflets w/ High Demands
   …
   - Chinese Apartment Decorated With Terracotta Warriors
   Just about the creepiest apartment ever.
   - Old Men Doing Dirty Things In Nanchang Woods
   Sorry, that’s just groti.

   3. Sexiest Post
   - Long-Legged Beauty Kong Yansong, Can Legs Be Too Long?
   No, no they cannot.
   - Daughter Poses As Nude Model For Painter Father
   Excepting the incest angle, you have to admit the father made his daughter look pretty damn hot.
   - Perverted Girls, Experiences By Chinese Men: Part 1-5
   Minus the possible rape stories, they were mostly all good fun.

   4. Most Touching
   - Impoverished Farmer Struggles To Raise Abandoned Girl
   Broke my heart into a million pieces.
   - Cheng Zhenbo: A 12-Year-Old Guizhou Child’s Lonely Life
   The kid’s a trooper. ‘Nuff said.
   - Mother Run Over By Cement Truck In Fuzhou
   Dying mother hangs on hoping to see her kid one last time.

   5. Most Controversial
   - Shanghai ‘Black Girl’ Lou Jing Abused By Racist Netizens’
   The pinnacle of racist hypocrisy…at least on chinaSMACK.
   - Chinese Reactions To Auction Of Stolen Bronze Relics
   Lots of arguments, lots of really bad arguments.
   - Young Girl Argues With Anti-Chinese French On Airplane
   Demonstrates that many find it easier to disbelieve than to disagree.

   6. Best Overall Post
   - Shanghai ‘Black Girl’ Lou Jing Abused By Racist Netizens’
   Touches every nerve on everyone.
   - Hubei University Students Drown While Saving Children
   For a moment, made foreigners realize Chinese people aren’t all cowardly apathetic bystanders. So…they criticized the Chinese for trying to help when they weren’t trained to do so instead.
   Street Racing Rich Kid Kills Pedestrian, Netizens Outraged
   A great example of chinaSMACK covering so many angles of a huge story.

   7. Best New Staff Contributor
   - Maxiewawa
   - Tingting
   - Joe

   All of them had great posts.

   8. Best Commenter
   - whichone
   - Yin
   - Quinon

   Except for whichone, they don’t post much, and I wish they did given the bits of concise wisdom they all drop when they do.

   Reply
   • whichone

     Monday, December 28, 2009 at 5:25 am

     Haha thanks for the nomination, there are plenty of people who regularly make sensible comments, I don’t necessarily have more insights than they do, just more time on hand to share what little I have, and now somehow I feel compelled to put more thought and effort into my comments – probably won’t though.

     Reply
9. FOARP

   Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 7:30 pm

   Best commenter – Pusan Playa

   Reply
10. FOARP

    Thursday, December 31, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    funniest post and best overall – District 9

    Best contributor – Joe

    Sexiest post – The “perverted girls” stories, totally made up/non-perverted

    Strangest Post – All the made up ones, I guess that’s all of them

    Most touching – The girl who decided to become a concubine out of poverty

    Reply
11. Papito

    Friday, December 25, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    It’s PUSAN PLAYA

    Reply
12. PUSAN PLAYA

    Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 6:24 am

    It’s 7:20am here, check the time stamp on my post, I woke up an hour ago and I must say that I’ve done pretty well for Saturday after Christmas so pls don’t call me a “fuck them all sleep in late kind of guy”. I can handle my Christmas booze and I didn’t learn to speak English at a university level by being lazy.

    I’m not a perfect Christian but more to the point, do you really want to live in a world without hypocrisy? Can you imagine how screwed up things would be if people only promoted values that they themselves practiced flawlessly? For example if there was no hypocrisy in China, it would mean that the so called “Communists” in the CPC would actually try to turn the ideas of Marx and Mao into government policy, I doubt any of you would like that. Alternatively your leaders could admit they they’re actually just greedy nihilists who enjoy the power and prestige that the CPC’s control of China brings.

    In order for society to function, we need to believe in something greater than ourselves.

    Reply
13. PUSAN PLAYA

    Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 7:57 am

    I was raised Christian, I never went to church or anything but my family does celebrate Christmas and Easter.

    You’re ignoring my wider point that Calvinist Christianity would be the ideal religion for China as it searches desperately for something to believe in besides money. Of all the major religions it has the strongest emphasis on social responsibility and honesty in interpersonal dealings.

    Reply
14. C

    Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 8:17 am

    Haha are you fcuking serious?
    Can you at least read a bit up on other religions before you make an extreme statement like that?

    I remember you. You really should learn your facts before you keep saying things like this.

    Disclaimer: I’m not hating on Christianity here, but all the major religions Pusan Playa mentioned emphasize the “right” moral values.

    Reply
15. PUSAN PLAYA

    Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 10:26 am

    “Can you at least read a bit up on other religions before you make an extreme statement like that?”

    Most Catholic countries have high levels of corruption and income disparity because the church teaches that poverty is a virtue that guarantees a place in heaven. In any case it won’t catch on in China because by it’s nature Roman Catholicism is a very foreign religion.

    Most Muslim countries have high levels of corruption and almost none of them have high-tech industries because Islam is deeply anti-intellectual and tribalistic. In any case it won’t catch on in China because most Chinese who would otherwise be tolerant of other people’s religion rightfully see it as a backwards and barbaric faith.

    Chinese Buddhism wouldn’t be a bad choice if only the Cultural Revolution hadn’t happened, the clergy and temples hadn’t turned into tourist attractions and if there had been any successful examples of large scale Buddhist evangelism in the past 200 years. I’m sure that in the future many Chinese will call themselves Buddhists but the chances that many of them will take it seriously are extremely low.

    The other major religions I haven’t mentioned could never catch on for cultural reasons so I won’t go into detail.

    Most forms of Protestantism, Calvinism in particular teach honesty, humility, personal responsibility and hard work. Non-black nations with a Protestant population of 20% or more all have fairly low levels of corruption, high standards of living and high levels of personal freedom.

    Read Max Weber’s “The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism” if you’d like to learn more.

    Reply
16. C

    Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    “Islam is deeply anti-intellectual and tribalistic”

    This is exactly the bias (and racism) behind your statements that therefore show plain as day just how valid any of you points are.

    First of all, define “anti-intellectual”. By what you have said, I get the sense that you think any thing that doesn’t go with the Calvinist Christianity logic would be anti intellectual.
    Second, what the crap do you mean by tribalistic?

    I have not placed myself to follow any religion so you can assure yourself that I’m not a Muslim and give me a rational (by society’s standards) reply.

    Reply
17. C

    Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    The quote from my post that you quoted says “…read a bit up on OTHER religions before you make an extreme statement like that”

    You seem to have given me the title of a book that is a one sided view on what you believe in.

    Reply
18. Kai

    Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 11:26 am

    King Tubby,

    WordPress comments typically allow some limited HTML in comments, such as [strong]/[b], [em]/[i], [blockquote], but instead of the square brackets [], use the alligator brackets .

    I agree, this should’ve been an interesting little activity. While I kinda expected the Best Commenter category to bring out petty grudges , I was looking forward to seeing what everyone else thought were the best posts. So far unfortunately, it’s been anti-climactic.

    LoL, yeah, the PP tangent was pretty random (but it was kinda funny at first). Not sure if it derailed everything. I’m thinking most of this “lively community” is a bunch of lazy and selfish free-loaders, content to criticize Fauna and demand when she doesn’t provide the free entertainment they feel entitled to, not willing to spend a few minutes to at least offer some more constructive feedback when the opportunity presents itself.

    LoL, yeah, at this rate, the inaugural year of “Readers Choice Awards” is a resounding no-show failure. I guess we’re really stating the obvious but yeah.

    As for sensible comments, I want sensible comments. I don’t mind different opinions, but it’s much more interesting if they’re sensible. Either that or write something that is so incredibly hilarious (PP has been doing this well lately) or obviously joking that most everyone instantly gets it. But that takes talent, a talent that most people don’t have (which is why we cherish those who do have it, cuz they funny).

    Anyway, there’s still a day left, so Fauna & 250, I do hope some more people pop out of the woodwork at the last minute to make this happen but, if not, you still have my moral support. It was a good idea, just maybe the wrong crowd or not enough promotion or something. :|

    Reply
19. Kai

    Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Damn, the alligator brackets disappeared as I feared. Alligator brackets are the less than signs. Replace the square brackets [] around, for example, [strong] with the alligator brackets. Let me see if [code] works.

    bold

    Put an opening tag at the beginning of the text you want to bold and a closing tag where you want to the bold to stop.

    Reply
20. Kai

    Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Frak, the code worked but it still rendered the HTML code I put in it. Guess I have to use ASCII:

    <strong>text you want bolded</strong>

    Or you can use the older version:

    <b>text you want bolded</b>

    Reply
21. Shoeshine

    Friday, January 1, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Pretty sure Rick in China is a Brit

    Reply