Getting In A Relationship Across Different Generations

245 Comments

1. too yellow

   Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 12:52 pm

   god people are verbose in this post. well for me, I feel I got left behind, dating wise, by coming to the US.

   Reply
   • California Guy

     Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 2:22 pm

     What are you doing in the US? Haha, get the Hell outta there! Korea’s launching an ICBM! Haha, just kidding. You should come back to China. If I can make it, anybody can. :)

     Reply
   • matt

     Friday, April 3, 2009 at 10:03 am

     haha… i am from the US. i am so left behind in both realms. i am so sad.

     Reply
2. wil

   Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 2:58 pm

   jesus christ, blog about it already.

   Reply
3. California Guy

   Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 4:56 pm

   I get the idea you guys keep saying that whites have it easier in china. Fine, but that’s not the point at all. You see, there are many people experiencing hardship and suffering like that old guy in the Shanghai video. But they are not happy like that guy is. They don’t have that tranquility emanating from them like he does. No, there is something different from him. I’m sure hardship and suffering has a part to play, but still… There’s something. I can feel it. He must have a wonderful wife a great artistic self expression. Maybe even some form of spirituality. I don’t know. I suspect it’s based on a different set of priorities that are in harmony with his life.

   Hey! I said, “harmony”! Haha, maybe there’s hope for me in China after all. :)

   Reply
4. California Guy

   Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 8:54 pm

   My God, it’s coming down to the wire now. I will be in China soon. Feel pretty excited about it. Do you guys remember your first time to travel to a different country, or for that matter, to China, if you’re not from there? It’s a great feeling. So much new culture and fun people to meet. I even look forward to taking a train and talking to the people.

   Crap, I better start working on the 中文, huh? I’ve been studying it about 1 day per week for 5 months now. I started with the hardest part – learning the characters. So far, I’ve learned about 950 characters. Not bad, since my short term goal is 1,000. I know I need at least 3,000 but I felt that 1,000 chaaracters before heading to China would give me a good foundation to continue with. I found the best way for me to study was with electronic flashcards. I downloaded a program onto my iphone and use it. Works really good. Keeps track of wrong answers, etc.

   The tones are a bit of a bitch, haha. I guess that’s why I need to do the speach training more. I’m using some websites for that and a couple CD courses I bought.

   I saw Shanghai Kiss recently. Haha, did you guys see that? Classic. I love the part where they guy is arguing with the taxi driver who is probably pretending not to understand so he can make more money taking this guy to all the wrong spots. It was incredible to see modern Shanghai. I’m so hungry for any good modern movies about China. Any suggestions?

   I’m really looking forward to traveling all the different cities. I think I will have a quest to find the best xiaolong bao in China. Hope it’s not Din Tai Fung, ’cause that’s from Taiwan and it’s already here in Cali. I imagine, some dusty old place only the locals know about. No fancy signs, no slick menus. Hell, maybe no menu. Maybe those who know, just know. But they have the most amazing xiaolong bao in the world… Haha, that would be cool.

   Now for something different. You guys have seen me pour out my life story for everyone to think about and even ridicule sometimes, haha. I’m also curious about you guys. This is my favorite thread to read on this site because you guys aren’t just talking about your thoughts on a fishing boat or some girls wearing short skirts in winter, haha. You are talking about your values toward life, success and relationships.

   I wonder what your lives are like. How happy are you all? On a percentage basis? How happy do you think I was when I was big time rolling? Are you curious? Not as happy as you may think.

   At the peak of the high life I was living the first time around, I was about 70% happy. Funny, I couldn’t get above that. No matter how hard I tried. I got an email from a Korean girl. Here’s what she said, “I don’t get it. You got the cars, the girls, the money, the lifestyle. And still you’re not happy. I think you need some…” Then she goes on to say some things that I needed from her that might be too dirty to put on this board, haha. She was really cool. No inhibitions or political correctness to keep her from seeing the truth of a situation. Probably not the marrying type, since she was a player too. But still, I really appreciated her.

   How about now? How happy am I now? Actually, I’d say right now I am 85% happy. I can’t believe it. I think this is a record high for me. See the thing they never tell you about being “successful” is that the pressure at that level is crushing. “Make more money, make more money. Dude, that house payment is due, make more money. Don’t you want to have less stress? Make more money…” It’s like that every day. Now? All gone. And it feels great.

   It’s not to say that success is to be avoided. It’s just that you have to be careful when you are building your “successful” life. You have to make sure that you don’t create a life you will hate. It’s easy to do.

   Here’s an example. Let’s say you want to be a rock star. Hey, why not reach for the stars right, haha. So, you’re clever and you realize that the best way to be successful is to “own the process” – that’s one of my theories of success. So, you start your own record label. You got no cash, so you learn ProTools and other programs to record and mix your own stuff. Now you are probably a performer who longs to be on stage playing for the people, watching them cheer, etc. But actually 99% of your time is sitting at a damn keyboard, trying to get the mix right, burning CD’s, updating your site, promoting your Facebook, etc. Gradually, you think… “God, I thought I was persuing my dream. I’m doing my own thing. Why am I so stressed?!”

   Here’s the problem. You got owned by the process. You accidentally created something you hate. You never said, “wow sure wish I could sit at a keyboard all day, rendering files and updating websites for the rest of my life”. Haha, true? That’s what happens.

   All too often, we become victim to what I call the apple cart mentality. Basically, it means that you have your apple cart and the way to succeed is to work as hard as you can for as long as you can. Be the first one up in the morning and the last one to push the cart off the commons area at night. By this virtuous work ethic, you feel you are doing the right thing and fate will reward you with the results you deserve.

   Unfortunately (and fortunately) it doesn’t work that way. One of the reasons is that, first of all, different personalities are suited for different lifestyles. Work is a very significant part of your lifestyle. You may love being free and artistically expressing yourself, but feel claustrophobic sitting at a keyboard all day. You feel anxiety. You don’t belong there! That’s why. Can you see it?

   The idea is to outsource that crap. Find other people who believe in what you’re doing. Give them a piece of the action or whatever. There are people who like being at a keyboard all day and will love the excitement of building a new company. You will share the money, but probably still make the same or more. That person (or people) will be much more productive than you would, sitting there hating life… Instead, you’ll be free to concentrate on what you do best, and best of all? You’ll be happy.

   I’ve learned a lot from this rollercoaster life of mine so far. I’ll share it with you because you guys have been kind enough to share your thoughts about my life which helps me a lot – even the negative ones. Here’s my advice.

   1. Don’t be afraid to go for it. It’s your life, God damn it. Not your mother’s or your girlfriend’s life. This is your life. How will you feel about it when you look back from the hospital bed at the end of the road? Go for it! Don’t let logical sounding fear hold you back. Fuck it. What you got to lose?

   2. Plan like a mofo. Plan, plan, plan, plan, plan. My friends tell me, “Dude why you keep planning? Fuck, just do something already”‘ haha. Why? Because I plan it until it’s f-ing brilliant. You can do ANYTHING with a brilliant plan. Not an ok plan, not a great plan. A fucking brilliant plan. You can do it. There’s no timeclock to pressure you. Keep thinking like this: “How can I make this plan better? What are the chances of success with this plan? What are the variables? How can I minimize these variables? How can I pull out some of the risk? Can this plan be more efficient? Am I missing a revenue stream possibility?

   3. Do something you love. Don’t think, “well let’s see… I could probably make a lot of cash manufacturing industrial glue…” Yeah, so what? Maybe you can. Will you trade your soul for it? No WAY! Listen, trust me on this. You can get rich on ANYTHING. Your plan just needs to be brilliant. So clever. A better idea that implements flawlessly, fills a need other brands aren’t, and tying into what’s hip with current trends like being eco-friendly, etc. I’ve helped a lot of people get out of the box and see a revolutionary new way to approach their businesses. There is always a brilliant way to do something.

   4. Don’t create something you hate. You will be doing this for at least a few years before you sell it or delegate everything. So, don’t make it hell. Money is not even worth it at that point. You’d be better off tilling the fields all day and quitting at 5:00 and not thinking about it after that. No, this is part of the plan. Do only the part you really want to. Let others do the rest. Is this bad? Hell no. Listen, the world needs success. It’s good for the economy, people need good products and services and people need jobs and careers with your company. Don’t screw it up trying to look noble by being the hardest working guy with the apple cart. I tried that, and I really hated it. You think, “Well, I’m leading by example. I’m the hardest working, my employees will respect me more…” Wrong. Did I just say that? Yep. Wrong, absolutely. Your employees will respect a champion. Someone who knows how to lead and how to create a strong brand that will give them job security and great career prospects when you promote them.

   Everyone wants to be part of a winning team. If you are doing the jobs you hate, you will get distracted, depressed, unfriendly to others, etc. Everyone is worse off like that.

   5. Treat everyone you work with as your teammate and friend. You can use positive reinforcement 99.5% of the time. Never embarrass an employee in front of another, don’t micromanage them and don’t pit them against eachother. Hell, don’t even get mad if they’re late for work. Now, how can I say that? Surely, if you don’t care about punctuality, everyone will slack off and you will lose money right? Again, wrong. They will respect you for respecting them and not riding their asses. They have so much stress to be exactly on time. What if that stress was gone? What if they know that you really care about them and are just happy they’re doing a great job? They will probably show up EARLY! Haha, it really works this way.

   Instead of that, put a big refridgerator in the office and fill it with all their favorite drinks, sodas and bottled water. Then tell them, “Take whatever you want while at work. I bought this for you. You guys are doing a great job building this company, you deserve it.” You will not believe the results. Create the life for them you wish you had as a worker. In short, be empathetic, then do something about it – break the cycle. They will feel great and you’ll feel great about yourself when you look in the mirror.

   People want a good life. They want a great company they can believe in and they want to work with someone who is inspired to make the world a better place by creating a brand that makes a difference.

   So that’s it. Anyone feel me on this? Even if just one of you finds something to help your life, it was worth it. I won’t preach this anymore. Just wanted to make a contribution to you guys for being so helpful.

   Reply
5. Ming

   Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 3:51 am

   Ms tery,

   Is it still an inspiration when his story is highly unrealistic? If you want to heard a fairy tale I suggest the book store.

   What surprise me is how many comments in here that actually believe what this guy saids, and actually think that given the variable in his story that he will succeed. Common man, show me some logic here, one guy, 52K rmb, no connection, never been to China, gets his information from dating sites, and is trying to start a business in China.

   There are better inspiration out there, such as Bill gates, or the guy who founded Baidu… not cali’s story.

   And we havent even discuss working visa Vs visitor visa.

   PS: this report is suppose to talk about the evolving attitude of Chinese generation in loving relationship… And this guy hijack it with his frictional rant.

   Reply
6. The John

   Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 3:57 pm

   I agree with the general concensus. CA Guy is gonna get played. I have been in China for a while. It took me a long time to get the proper guanxi. It wasn’t just a money thing. It was about trust and learning about the Chinese nature. That takes a while. You can’t just move to a country like China with no captial and BOOM your rich. Very Very Stupid. I do good business now. But, you wont believe how many foreigners have lost a LOT of capital and have gotten played.

   Warning: Chinese business men are good. Damned good and you need some connections. In China its give and take. Support is built off of honesty loyalty and trust. But, aside from all of this… The Chinese really treasure…

   MODESTY!

   Reply
7. okura

   Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 6:57 pm

   I think you’ve lost more than a one or two.

   Still that could be considered a service to humanity.

   Reply
8. Ming

   Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 3:09 am

   To matt:

   All I am putting out is that 20 million job lost doesn’t look so bad against a back drop of 800 million workers. This is why when you look at unemployment for comparing countries, we should look at the percentage. The smallest country in the world has like what…4k population? They would have a hard time imagining 20 million unemployed, but if you tell them its about 2.5%. They will have an easier time understanding.

   I am not suggesting that China is immune, but definitely at a better position to recover.

   Regarding white people, I am not attacking white people working in China…I am attacking Cali guy.

   Here is my point: if a white guy (or a jap guy, or a middle eastern guy) came to China with contribution, say high skill labor, experience, or investment, then financially, he should be just like any other successful Chinese guys and have no problem with women. But, any foreign workers who doesnt have such contributions…they dont have the financial safety to get on with women. You see what I mean?

   This is why I like to compare this Cali guy to Henry Kissinger.

   His story doesnt make sense. Financial sense.

   Reply
   • matt

     Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 3:55 am

     with all of those 800 million workers, China’s GDP ranks below ours, and its per capita gdp places it as one of the poorer countries in the world.

     Reply
9. Mag

   Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 8:22 am

   First of all, I enjoyed very much reading CG’s stories. This sounds presumptuous but I think I understand his plan to go to China and start a new business and life there. Whilst it is true that doing business in China you need connection, it may not be so in his case. If he has a great business idea and the target market of his web service/products is not exclusively Chinese, then the quanxi in China probably is just nice to have but not a necessity. With a good laptop and internet connection he should be able to work on his project anywhere in the world. Actually it’s a brilliant idea to go to China for the low cost of living so he can free himself up from having to be employed to make a living.

   About girls, I tried to understand why a nice and smart guy like CG didn’t have much luck in LA, then I thought maybe it’s because the way (how and where) he met the girls. When you were waving the Benjamins in front of a nightclub, I can imagine that you got the material girls’ attention right away. I used to work for an INGO in the States and I know quite a few girls there who are good looking, sweet, loving and well educated. (This doesn’t mean all the people working at INGOs are nice and caring – some are just for a paid job.) What I meant to say is there are good and bad people in every country.

   CG -I don’t want to rain on your parade, and you have received many tips and warnings, but if this is your first trip to China, be mentally prepared to be disappointed as what you see may be very different from what you have imagined. It’s still a poor country especially in the remote area. Nevertheless, you should go and try to enjoy yourself while you are there.

   Reply
10. ziziyo

    Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    this california guy is obviously a huge troll

    please stfu no one believes u

    Reply
11. ziziyo

    Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    every forum/blog there’s always this huge prick talking about how much money he has/made and what a wild life he had and about how he “wisened” up after some bitter experiences

    just stfu please, no you never had a lambo and no u never made over 400k per year

    because high successful people come onto chinasmack to network right? ok buddy

    Reply
12. jinsic

    Thursday, April 9, 2009 at 1:48 am

    I like how the topic delved into economics and financial whatnot comparisons between China/US.

    to me it doesnt matter whether CG’s story is fic or not. I feel its very insightful & glad i read it.

    Oh, and as 1st generation ChiMer in US. this place does ****ing blow in terms of dating. I have to fight the single frustrated Asian guy mentality and at the same time find out that theres a disparity in dating that is race-related.

    before anyone spouts a hopeful message, dont… its ****ing condescending & annoying.

    cheers,

    Reply
13. matt

    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    what type of development do you do?

    i would go to dalian, seriously. it is china’s software development capital. beautiful city, full of dongbeiren… good, hardworking people.

    great seafood and dumplings too.

    oracle is hiring worldwide. they had a great year… fyi

    Reply
14. matt

    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    basically, where there is money, there are bitches.

    In china it is magnified by the fact that city girls are only children, and the previous generation were not big spenders. so they have the means (for a while) to spend spend spend. it is good and bad. definitely a positive for china’s economy — goods aren’t only made for export now. bad because china is now hyper-capitalist.

    Reply
15. Teacher in China

    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    Well, I’ve been here for 3 1/2 years, and have dated quite a few different girls. I have to say that I’ve only met a small handful that are really really in it for the money. Of course, they all like it when you take them out for dinner or for a movie or whatever, but I haven’t had many specifically request really expensive or unreasonable things. In fact, often they will want to reciprocate somehow, even if it’s just buying something small. I’d have to agree with CG on this one, but again it all depends on what circle of people you’re involved with, and what your demeanor is like. If you walk around flashing wads of 100s and bragging all the time about your new suit or whatever, then of course you’re going to attract the wrong kind of girl. If you have some common sense and restraint, my experience is that a lot of Chinese girls (I’m in Beijing by the way) don’t really care about the money.

    Reply
16. California Guy

    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Can’t I just use my B of A account? And pull it out later – in China? Thanks for the good info. Glad to see there’s some helpful people on this board. :)

    Reply
17. Mao's princess

    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    You had a rushed marriage before, yes? Why hurry again?

    I have my own situation. I’m sending my work to my first agent. I can’t move until my first book is accepted by a publishing house.

    A wicked man asked me to marry him. He was born in the 70′s but he did it in 80′s fashion, after you know what.

    Later that night, he went to a party and hooked up with another girl.

    She is plain and somewhat chubby, though not baby fat.

    I had no intention of marrying the man. He was Jean Paul Satre to my Simone de Beavoir.

    He thinks of me as he drinks lemonade.

    This is of utmost importance because at 101 I will be drinking the same freshly made beverage on my back porch on a porch swing. He knows all of that.

    He was supposed to be a best friend to me.

    When he lost the best job he ever had, he moved in with chubby girl. He writes occassionally.

    My town is full of women with children. (I have none)
    And men who are intimadated by intellectualism.

    I could move to Portland with one male friend who is fun or to Dekalb with another male friend who is smart.

    I don’t know…they aren’t the one for me, I think.

    Until then, the fascist courts took away my license and I am stuck in rural domestic bliss. Please note the sarcasm. I am a Saggitarius with a love of adventure. I leave gardens willingly, you know.

    None of the local men are of any interest to me.

    The last time I had an exciting evening on Halloween when a long haired one asked to taste my chapstick.

    Since then, the men have gotten boring.

    Well, there was the night I had sex in a Catholic hospital and requested emergency contraceptive.HAHA!

    Mostly, the happiness of my life in of the mind and learning…

    I am 30 and I don’t think I’ve yet had a relationship that was pure unconditional love. Sylvia Plath had the same sort of realizations when she was young.

    Just thought I’d tell my story. Comment if you wish.

    Reply
18. California Guy

    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    OK Mao’s Princess, hey, wait a minute… Mao’s Princess? I knew it! The good ones are always taken! :D Haha, you are great. Very, very attractive personality. That you are a writer makes perfect sense now. Your words seem to flow with natural prose. There’s something delightfully natural, almost pagan about you. Not from a religious sense of course, but rather from a lifestyle perspective. You have the life I want, in a way. Your life is focused on things like leaving the garden when you want, writing books and taking the lovers of your choice. Haha, how cool is that?

    I recently saw a video either on this site or the Shanghaiist site. And that had that video called, “”Old Shanghai”" or whatever. It was a video of those old apartments from the movie, Kung Fu Hustle. And there was this seemingly low income older guy speaking about the apartment and the people. I didn’t understand too much of it, but I felt a real sense of peace and a comfortable happiness like I’ve never seen before. It felt that it eminated from a lifestyle not focused on money or the persuit of it. As soon as I saw him, I said, “”That’s it! That’s what I’m searching for! I want to be happy like him.”" It just feels great to see that video. You have a similar flow, very nice.

    Reply
19. Ming

    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    Absolutely to judge Cali guy as another white supremacist. He has no respect for the Chinese culture and its history.

    52k RMB..lol thats nothing.

    Oh yea, bring back chinese girl to the US to suffer the US economic crisis.

    I have no wish to control Chinese women. Infact, I encourage shanghai players to squeeze this guy dry before he left for LA. Now those 52k can buy a decent LV bag or 2.

    My point remain unchallenged. Cali guy is no Henry Kissinger. But there is very little need to debate this further, because in the end, his fictional story doesnt even worth any more words. There is a different between a foreign worker, and a foreign investor and a tourist. Guess what cali guy is?

    Reply
20. frank.

    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    I think what you don’t understand is this sort of attitude doesn’t come from some zen enlightenment or whatever – it comes from severe hardship and utter resignation. The lives of most people in China are not very good. The people are very poor, they work all day, every day for barely enough money to survive. While their lives have certainly improved in recent years, very few people here experience the opulence and luxury that we consider a middle-class lifestyle in America.

    Ming has a point. Western guys can come over here, earn as much money as five Chinese people while working fewer hours, without even speaking the local language, and steal their women. This is without any special qualification – simply by virtue of being white you will never be lacking for a job, never be lacking in friends, never be lacking in women. It is entirely understandable that Chinese men would be annoyed with this situation. Hell, I’m on the other side of this situation and think it is tremendously unfair.

    On the other hand, Chinese men do not seem to treat their women very well. I have seen guys beating up their girlfriends inn the middle of the street here. My girlfriend basically divorced her husband because he was more interested in playing mahjong than spending time with her. A decent looking foreigner with two arms and a warm heart is definitely a better catch than many Chinese guys.

    I know this is a generalization, but to an extent it’s true. A lot of chinese guys aren’t like I describe – but a lot of them are.

    The thing is, what you don’t get, is that this sort of bliss you see isn’t bliss. It’s apathy towards the hardships in life. They don’t have it easy over here. By virtue of not being chinese, you will automatically be better off than the majority of Chinese people. You should have respect for this and not abuse it. They are people, just as much as you are. Being poor with little to no home of social advancement or material wealth comes with its own kind of peace – you see this in many underdeveloped countries.

    They only appear happy to you because they’re so goddamn sad.

    Reply
21. Mercator

    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    I’ll just put in my 2 cents worth of why Cali Guy you seem to be annoying some people with this thread (including me).

    A lot of what you say comes across (whether intended to or not) as bragging. Loads of girls contacting you via dating sites. You’re going to live so cheaply in your 2nd/3rd tier city. You were so rich (though not smart enough to hold onto it).

    You profess an appreciation for Chinese girls, but many of your comments and asides immediately undermine this.
    Unsurprisingly many Chinese don’t like having their faces rubbed in it: just look at what happened to ChinaBounder.

    Some of your other statements are also contradictory, you want to live the simple life; but you also want to get rich again.

    Finally muppets like you queer the pitch for the rest of us, who actually want a go at getting on with the Chinese.
    It’s a bit of a surprise that a white UK guy should end up agreeing with a fenqing like Ming – so well done you’ve achieved the impossible.

    I don’t come to ChinaSmack to read the continuing adventures of CaliGuy, although I admit they were briefly interesting. Perhaps you could take yourself to some message boards and leave the rest of us in peace for a while.

    Reply
22. Teacher in China

    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    I actually feel entertained by his stories and personality. You don’t like it, Mercator, don’t read it. It’s as easy as that.

    Reply
23. Teacher in China

    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    I love this:
    1) I love how you’re calling it “the US economic crisis” as though there aren’t 20 million people out of work in China, and a whole slew of university graduates with no hope of getting a job. As though the whole world isn’t suffering just as much as the US is.

    2) Why do you keep comparing white people to Henry Kissinger? You are aware that quite a few people consider him a war criminal right? Do you know much about the Vietnam war? Before the war even started, he secretly bombed the shit out of the borders with with Cambodia and Laos which ended up killing untold thousands of innocent people? So yes, you’re right, Cali guy is no Henry Kissinger…

    Reply
24. Teacher in China

    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    sorry, that was supposed to be a reply to Ming’s comment above at 10:55 on March 30th. My computer is screwy today.

    Reply
25. Ming

    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 10:36 pm

    1)By portion, it is stupid to look at numbers, since Chinas population is 4 times that of the US. Look for % is better

    2) Because from China stand point, Henry Kissinger did make contribution to Chinese economies. It was a mutual benefit situation, where the US get cheap labor, and the Chinese gets tec transfer, and industrial revolution. Cali guy career was clear in his story, he is a broke business man with 52k RMB. What contribution will he make? Most of the foreigners settle in China, rather they are white or asian or middle eastern, have some sort of contribution…Investor, highs skill labor, etc… Cali guy wants to restart his life in China, and he thinks he have no problem adapting largely because he think he is white. I am betting he will fail, assuming his story isnt entirely fictional. Would an Iranian with 52k RMB and no connection make it big in the US?

    Reply
26. ms tery

    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    Perhaps he just wants to make money, with essence intact, and still enjoy life while simultaneously living up to his standards of influence and decency.

    you seem bitter. Cali guy’s posts are more inspiring and upbeat than your own.

    Go bake a a pine apple upside down cake, mer cater. Perhaps it will have a calming affect.

    Reply
27. okura

    Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 11:54 am

    a lot of my posts seem to have disappeared (hope paranoia is not getting the better of me here but have I offended anyone or transgressed in some way?).

    Mercator, great assessment, if I am allowed to say so.

    I’m bowing out of this one as the posts are everywhere and it’s all too difficult to follow, even if the will to do so were still alive.

    Sorry, the database have a problem two nights ago. We fix it with a backup. I thought I had saved all the comments but maybe we one or two were lost. Hope you understand. Sorry for inconvenience. – Fauna

    Reply
28. Mike Fish

    Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    I like how Ming is always trying to get us back on the topic of “relationships across generations” by referencing his unhealthy obsession with Henry Kissinger. How old are you Ming? How old is Henry now? I’m guessing the age difference, plus the cross-cultural element, and the gay angle, would make your love affair an amazing story. Go for it Ming!!! Instead of ping pong diplomacy it will be… DING DONG diplomacy!!!

    Reply
29. Teacher in China

    Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    1) True, % is better. WHy don’t you go ahead and calculate what % of the world’s population not in the US is out of work and then see if it’s still accurate to say the “US economic crisis”.

    2) Ah, I see your point about Kissinger then, I was genuinely confused by that. Still, I think you’re jumping the gun a little on Cali guy – how do you know he won’t make a contribution? Maybe lightning will strike and he’ll set up some great business and hire a bunch of people? That would be a pretty good contribution right? Also I think you’re wrong that he thinks it’s because he’s white. I think he’s just an optimist, and he has supreme confidence in himself. He’s coming to China because of 4 things: 1)the girls 2) the girls 3) the girls and 4) the culture (of the girls)
    And actually don’t bet against the Iranian either. There’s a dude from Iraq who has restarted his life in Mexico (not US I know, but it’s right there) and is now making music and getting recognized internationally. I too am a big believer that sometimes willpower and sheer determination will lead to success.

    Reply
30. matt

    Friday, April 3, 2009 at 10:10 am

    LOL. the % of poor chinese >>>> the % of poor people in the US.

    Reply
31. Ming

    Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    1)By percentage, China is not that bad. More importantly, It is the US that started this economic crisis. Chinese banks have very little stack in US home mortgage. Chinese capital is not affected as a result. Only Chinese export with is currently drop to 6% instead of the god like 9-12%. I dare say China is in a much more comfortable position then the US is in terms of recovery.

    2)That’s alot of assumption. Can it happened? Sure, nothing is impossible. Which is why I never 100% dismiss his story. But is it realistic? No.

    And his attitude is far from the “zen” state that he wish to achieve.

    Lastly, how can anyone get girls in any countries without money, money, money, and more money? Dont get me wrong, if he is an investor with money, he is more then welcome. But his story pretty much suggested that he is broke. 52k rmb and he wants to be a rich guy, I dont see it. Even a decent hooker cost 200-400-2000 rmb depending on quality.

    Beside, this article was never about cali guy, and yet he hijack the topic with his fictional rant.

    Thou to be fair, this page will really reach 200+ comment without cali guy.

    Reply
32. matt

    Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 2:01 am

    The Chinese government purchases bonds from the US government, not corporate bonds or stocks. However, foreign investment WAS a major catalyst in this economic crisis. Don’t put all of the blame on the US.

    China has lost over 20 million jobs since the beginning of the crisis. though growth is still expected to reach 6.5% in 09, china is an export driven economy. any way you put it, a recession in the US and Europe is not good for China.

    that being said, the current economic situation has given china an opportunity to flex its muscle and increase its international clout (spy ship debacle).

    on to your other point,

    A white person can get a girl in china because that person a) probably has a job making OK money and b) can get them out of china and c) look completely different than what they are used to.

    Reply