Pictures

Getting In A Relationship Across Different Generations

by on Thursday, March 26, 2009 245 comments

How do you confess your love? How do you establish your relationship? Does each generation have a different way? Here are some drawings from Taiwan that I also receive in my email from people always forwarding to their friends. They are very old (4 years) but funny:

你是哪一種告白法～～

What kind of confession are you?

1961-1970-generation-confession-a

5th level most impressive confession method (1961-1970)

1961-1970-generation-confession-b

M: Please be my girlfriend.
F: Okay/sure/I am willing.

1971-1980-generation-confession-a

6th level most impressive confession method (1971-1980)

1971-1980-generation-confession-b

M: How do you feel about us being together.
F: Tao yan~ [similar to "oh, you are so silly"]

1981-1990-generation-confession-a

7th level most impressive confession method (1981-1990)

1981-1990-generation-confession-b

M: Are we considered boyfriend-girlfriend?
F: Uh-huh…

1991-2000-generation-confession-a

8th level most impressive confession method (1991-2000)

1991-2000-generation-confession-b

M: Ah…it looks like I better take responsibility…
F: … *pointing at tummy*

希望九年級的最夯告白法不會變成…

Hope the 9th level most impressive confession method will not become…

next-generation-confession-b

B: Daddy, be with Mommy okay?
M: WHO ARE YOU?

What is your way to confess your love and establish your relationship?

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245 Comments

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  1. Bokamba
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 2:08 am

    Despite being of a younger generation, I’m pretty conservative and I prefer the 六年级生的告白法.

    Reply
  2. Bokamba
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 2:12 am

    Oops, I meant 五年级生的告白法

    Reply
  3. Celkian
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 5:51 am

    Can someone explain what “confession method” means? I think i am missing something in the translation here.

    Reply
  4. Josiah
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 6:06 am

    I presume its how the people born in the different years agree that they’re going out.

    Like people born in the 60s ask them out first, 70s ask over beer, 80s ask in bed, etc. . .

    Reply
  5. fireworks
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 9:04 am

    The 80s and 90s generation were more formal and decent, met in the street, nightclubs or work or arranged by the parents. Nowadays in the 2000 generation, there is the internet. in the 9th year, Interent dating should be added in as well.

    Reply
  6. Capt. Absurdity
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 9:30 am

    procreation sucks.

    Actually… I talk to girls using telepathy.

    It has worked pretty good so far, hey. I ain’t complaining.

    Reply
  7. Capt. Absurdity
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 10:03 am

    What you expect Capt. Absurdity to say? I’m really Capt. Homo?

    Nope. I appreciate the female form (actually, I just like me a nice set of titties)… it’s just telepathic conversations are much more interesting.

    And If you have not figured out by now… I really don’t give a FUCK about what people think when they read my posts.

    Suck it.

    Reply
  8. Tommy
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 10:04 am

    I think in China you just need a fat wallet.

    Reply
    • matt
      Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 12:33 pm

      haha, pretty much.

      Reply
      • Rick in China
        Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 1:06 pm

        I don’t think having a fat wallet hurts in any culture/country.

        Reply
        • Tommy
          Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 1:12 pm

          True, but in my culture that kind of girl is looked down on. We call them gold diggers and they are only a short step up from prostitutes.

          Reply
          • Rick in China
            Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 1:47 pm

            I don’t think gold diggers are praised here, either. Besides, if you want to start drawing prostitute analogies, aren’t you a whore in another way? Everyone want some sort of benefit, and trades their time and/or services in some fashion in order to get some sort of financial benefit. Do you think it’s unreasonable for a woman to be attracted to money? Do you think men aren’t attracted by money? Often (not always, of course) men with money have more clout/power, and often more confidence, whose to say that it’s not all part of the overall attractiveness package..

          • John
            Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 1:48 pm

            Only the ones who do it badly are called gold diggers.

          • omg
            Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 1:59 pm

            “True, but in my culture that kind of girl is looked down on.”

            Yet girls gladly marry rich guys…

          • Tommy
            Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 2:28 pm

            I admit to a certain extent a lot is thought but not said in my culture but surely you cant argue that in Chinese culture girls are much more obvious and outspoken about wanting money more than love. I’m not going to bombard you with examples of this attitude, I think you all know what I am talking about. I believe a girl should love a man because he takes responsibility for the family and cleans toilets for a living if he has to. But maybe I’m just an idealist.

          • Rick in China
            Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 3:07 pm

            “I believe a girl should love a man because he takes responsibility for the family and cleans toilets for a living if he has to. But maybe I’m just an idealist.”

            Not only an idealist, but an ignorant one. I’m not sure if you realize this, but many posters here are from western cultures – including myself, being from Canada. If you think that it’s common to expect a woman to fall in love with a toilet cleaner because of his great insights, experiences, responsibilities, and love in ‘western cultures’ – yer dreaming buddy. I’d also like to make clear that, “takes responsibility for the family” includes putting enough energy and effort into creating a solid career and having the financial means to support giving your children a safe environment to thrive in and opening opportunities for them to become educated members of society.

            Perhaps not just idealistic, but short-sighted.

          • Name
            Friday, March 27, 2009 at 4:10 am

            I believe a girl should love a man because he takes responsibility for the family and cleans toilets for a living if he has to
            Real love is just about the person. Nothing else. You need, not want, to be with the person no matter what. You’re literally willing to put your life on the line for it
            http://youtube.com/watch?v=dIZJNrc8sKw
            http://wikipedia.org/wiki/Du%E2%80%99a_Khalil_Aswad

            In my own, self admittedly very unpopular and veery unconventional, opinion, the common everyday marriage, is extremely similiar to prostitution. In both cases you’re forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do for someone you don’t really give a shit about.

            40%-50% of US marriages end in divorce for a reason

            RIP Du’a Khalil Aswad

          • Tommy
            Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:25 am

            I think you didnt understand my post or at least didnt read it properly. I said a man “cleans toilets for a living if he HAS to”. NOT a woman falling in love with a toilet cleaner. There are many people building a solid career but with the economic crisis its not working out very well for many of them. My point was how many of them do you think are running for the welfare office? and how many would take ANY job to make sure their family is safe? I’m saying that in MY country many girls that I know respect a man like this more than a man who has had everything given to them by daddy.

            Its not unreasonable to expect a woman to be attracted to a man with money, however I think I would prefer a woman that sees beyond that and looks at the substance of the man and his principles.
            So if you’re saying thats not the case in your country then I feel sorry for you.

          • Rick in China
            Monday, March 30, 2009 at 10:18 am

            “I’m saying that in MY country many girls that I know respect a man like this more than a man who has had everything given to them by daddy.”

            You keep saying “MY” country without identifying it, you also imply that in YOUR country (which obviously nobody else could understand anything about because YOU are the center of YOUR planet) there is some special respect given to people as if it’s not the same anywhere else, in fact, in every country, it’s exactly the fucking same.

            NOBODY respects a man who has by his own means more than a man who has because of lucky means, in ANY country, get it? That respect does not garner the only criteria women look for in a partner for marriage, by any means, though, in any country, fuckin tool..you “prefer” a certain type of woman, but YOU are not the same as EVERYONE ELSE from WHEREVER you are from, and clearly are not in touch with the commonality that, anywhere, there are tons of people who are materialistic, both men and women, and your idealism is ignorance at best.

          • Tommy
            Sunday, April 5, 2009 at 7:16 pm

            Rick I’m not sure why you need to be so offensive. I’m allowed to be idealistic if I want to be.
            And the reason I keep saying MY country is because I’m not arrogant enough to generalize your country or any other in the west.

    • Jessica Rabbit
      Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 5:21 pm

      Tommy said that in China you need a fat wallet.

      I add you need a limber body…

      Reply
      • St Jimmy
        Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 5:29 pm

        I call my women resources, thou I admit to being a gold digger myself. I relish finding loose change about the house to engage in eating yet another $1 sandwich from Mc Donalds.

        The only woman who complained about this behavior is the one I think about while slurping my lemonade.

        When the women start to complain about usury, they have to go. Ah, the glory of online dating.

        Reply
  9. California Guy
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    PART 1: I have some interesting experiences on this subject. There is truth to pretty much all these comments. I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about it all. Maybe you guys can help me. This story is a little personal, but I haven’t really shared it with anyone and I need to get some perspective. It’s kind of on topic at this point in the thread anyway.

    I live in LA, the home of the most materialistic girls in the world. I got caught up in the scene here, started entrepreneuring to make more money. It worked well for awhile. From about 2003 – 2007 I was pulling down about $400,000 a year USD. I thought it was pretty stable. My house I bought in the Hollywood Hills was going up by 10% every year. So what did my stupid ass do? I thought, hmmm… “looks like everything is going up. Why not pull some equity out of this house and play a little? See how it affects the dating game.” It was my first house, so I hadn’t learned about how to use equity (basically – DON’T!!!) God, what an ass.

    I pulled out some cash and bought an orange Lamborghini Gallardo in cash. I used it to pull chicks and it worked amazing. But then after awhile, I would be taking a new girl out and she’d say, “hey, why don’t the doors flip up? I thought Lamborghini doors always flip up?” Fuck… Is it ever enough with these girls? I even had some ghetto black kids pull up to me in a modded out Chevy truck and flip the doors up to show off at a red light. Then I thought, “That’s it. Fuck it. I’ll trade this puppy in for the Murcielago and finance it this time.” Note: this is where I started getting in deeper…

    So, I took it in and traded up. Income statements were still gleaming with good numbers so they said ok. I had the Gallardo for 6 months. I lost $80,000 USD on the trade in. Again, fuck… It’s ok, I thought. It will be worth it. Who’s going to out flash this car? In truth, no one ever did. That’s the good part. Picking up girls was effortless, that was even better.

    Girls would give their phone numbers to me every time I stopped for gas. Even with their boyfriends with them. They’d find a clever way. “Hey, we should all hang out sometime, you seem so cool. Give your number to my boyfriend…” Classic. Or even straighter to the point: “I can’t write down my number because my boyfriend is standing right over there, just memorize it…” No bullshit.

    At clubs, it was VIP everytime I pulled up. Of course everything was now 300% more expensive too. They would “front” my car which means they valet it right in front of the club to show off and make you look important. That cost $100. Then, it would look ridiculous to stand in line, so another $100 to the doorman (with the recommendation of the valet guy of course) and I got to skip the line. Actually had a cool system worked out with the door guy. I tip him a $100 and not only can I skip the line, so can any girl I choose. Haha, how did I play this? Bring a girl? Hell no, new was always better. I would walk the line of customers, find the hottest looking asian and say, “Hey you girls wanna skip the line and come in with me? I’m VIP here”. Worked like an f-ing charm. Yeah, I know, I know.. I’m an ass. Hey it was the first time to play like this, give me a break, haha. A couple times, girls actually bought me my first drink when we got in. So those were some of the highlights. By the way, if you don’t believe it, I have pics on my live space page.

    Now for the bad points. Everything was 3 times more expensive. I would follow my friends into a parking lot and they would be charged $10. Then I would pull up, “$50, please”. I had a girl in the car that had originally arrived with the front car, so she said, “What? That’s bullshit. I just came with the girls in that car in front and we only paid $10!” What does the guy say? “He can afford it”. So, I paid it, no need to look like a miser at this point.

    Now, that’s not really the hard part. I started wondering to myself. “Would these girls still like me without this stupid car?” or things like, “Man this girl is all about the money, she doesn’t really care about me.” It started to mess with my mind, I couldn’t trust anyone, even my friends. Now, I thought open minded about it like some of the comments above. “Well, of course women are attracted to success, it means greater security, it’s only natural”. I tried to keep it in positive perspective.

    But another phenomenon started to occur. About a couple weeks into dating, girls would start asking for help with their rent. WTF?! “My friend’s boyfriend makes way less money than you, and he helps with her rent…” Yeah, but they’ve been together over a year and they LIVE together! 3 girls tried that trick. Interestingly, 2 of them were Korean. Not that it matters, but I just realised that as I’m writing this.

    Another time, I was out to lunch with a Latin girl I was trying to get in the sack, haha. She said, “Hey let’s stop at these boutiques on Sunset Blvd and do some shopping!” Uh-oh, I could feel this coming… But clever me – I had a great excuse – “Sorry baby, I gotta get back to the office, I have a big deadline.” Yeah right, she didn’t fall for it (not so clever me!). She says, “Fine! Then forget it! Don’t take me shopping then!” Oh Jesus. Alright, alright. “Alright, but I only have a few minutes to look around, then I gotta get back…”

    So we parked and she strolls into a fashion store – H. Lorenzo. I follow. Once inside, she’s browsing like crazy. “Wow, this is beautiful! Would I look sexy in this?” For the record, it was hard to say no to that, she looked exactly like that latin girl from the Transformers movie. So I’d say “yeah great…” and wander off so she couldn’t ask anymore. Now it’s time to leave. Yes! I made it! Haha!!! I win!

    Not so fast… On the way to the door she asks the clerk, “Can I try these on?” Fuck! I get that sinking feeling in my stomach. She’s in the dressing room, so I call one of my cheap ass friends and ask him what to do. I called the wrong friend. “Well, you went in there. You knew this would happen. You gotta buy at least something, you’re on the hook. You’re gonna look like a stupid ass if you don’t. Just buy the cheapest thing she likes.” Alright.

    She calls me from the dressing room. It’s just a bead curtain over the door. I can see little peaks of curvy latin flesh every now and then. It must have been designed that way to make it harder for men to say no, haha. She seizes the moment: “So what do you think baby? Can I get something?” I want to play innocent like, hey it’s your money, why you asking me? I knew it wouldn’t work, so I didn’t bother. I said, “Alright baby, but I just paid taxes this week, money is really tight. Just pick one thing you want and I’ll buy it for you.” “Okay, I want these shorts – they’re only $250!” Fine, let’s get the hell out of here.

    What does she do? Seriously. What do you think she did? I’m not kidding here. She scoops the entire pile of clothes out of the dressing room – ALL OF IT, brings it to the counter and drops it at the register!!! The clerk starts scanning and ringing everything up, the total is climbing and climbing… My heart is picking up pace. “What is she doing?!” I scream inside my head. Then, I think I really hate this girl. I’m never going to see her again. I paid it to save “face”. What was I thinking? I’m not even Chinese, why do I care about face? Haha. Note: she called and apologized about a month later and said I could finally take her to bed. It was fun, but not worth it.

    Reply
  10. California Guy
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    PART 2: Then the economy started to trend down. I thought we just hired a crappy sales person for my business. So I decided to take on a partner (bad idea) to inject some capital (he didn’t) and restructure the comapny to be more focused in the right (actually wrong) direction. Now we had a spiffy new outside company that would specialize in sales for us. They sold worse AND took a 30% commission. Fuck, double fuck. The partner who promised to inject capital? Only took out a loan in the business name, with my name on the hook. Some f-ing help right?

    Now, I was in this deep and sales are getting smaller and smaller and smaller. Uh-oh. Alright. Time to get rid of the Lamborghini (lost $100,000 getting rid of that one – God, I’m stupid).

    Reply
  11. California Guy
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    PART 3: So that should fix it right? Nope, sales got smaller. The partner didn’t do anything. Time to get rid of the partner. Great, now that will take a settlement agreement and result in liquidating the company to pay him off (for nothing!!!).

    Ok, fine. I’ll just sell my house and get the cost of living down. Right as the housing prices were collapsing. My housing agent: “Don’t worry. I can sell this house in 30 Days, it is a beautiful house in a prime location, bla, bla, bla” Four months later… “Maybe we should do a short-sale…” 3 months more later. Wow, this house is only worth half what you owe. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Quadruple fuck. Haha, I’m glad I have a sense of humor about this. Alright, gotta let it go. The house will have to foreclose.

    So here we are. No Lambo, no house, no business. How about them girls? What’s your guess. A few hung in for awhile but once I down graded to a Porsche (I bought a cheap temporary Porsche – a Boxster), they started to fall away. One by one, they were fleeing a sinking ship, haha.

    I have learned so many lessons from this. I still don’t know how I feel about the “Material Girl” thing. I just know that I don’t like it. I want a sweet simple girl.

    Reply
  12. California Guy
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    PART 4: So, I started dating different kinds of asians online to see what happens. I did a test. I put an identical profile on the different sites. One Japanese dating site, one Korean dating site and one Chinese dating site. What did I find? Hands down the Chinese girls were the sweetest and most sincere. They remind me of the American girls from the 1950′s. they just cared about family, family, family. Truth be told about 20% were in it for the money. At least with my experience I can see the signs of a girl with the wrong motives.

    So, I decided that Chinese are the best, no doubt it’s true. Great language and culture too, so that’s a bonus. So now it’s time to weed them down to a manageable amount to date. I thought they could come to the USA. they can’t usually. So I decided, fuck it. I already lost everything. Why not move to China. I want to try different priorities now.

    So how to weed down the list to only the most sincere girls? I just told them, “Oh amn, I just lost all my money (true). Now I’m going to have less income than a migrant factory worker in Dongguan.” Haha, I thought that was a kind of funny visual example that would stick in their minds. It worked. Three girls were like, “What? A Man needs money to take care of the family, it’s a responsibility, bla, bla, bla”.

    Of course I will work hard and make money again. Just not be such an ass this time, haha. The remaining girls are super super sweet. “Don’t worry, we can build a life together if our love is strong. I can work too. Money is not the center of the world. Our love is most important. I will support you.” Fuck – in a good way this time. I never thought I would hear it. Nirvana. There are sweet pure girls in the world.

    I don’t want to fuck up that sweetness, so I was honest with them. “I don’t know who I will end up with. I’m going to date a few girls in China until I find the right one. Then I will start to settle down”. They were really cool about it. The idea is, “Don’t worry about it, what is meant to be, will be.”

    This showed me something pure and sweet about China that made me feel great. Yes, I know, there’s bad people everywhere. But the percentage of sweet people are just higher in China, and that’s good enough for me. Sorry this post was so long. This is my life right now. Please don’t post a bunch of mean comments saying what a liar I am and how there’s no way I had a Lamborghini (they’re not that hard to get here – they finance like a house). I just want some real feedback. I’m not looking to show off in China or be the ultimate playboy or anything like that. I just want to be happy.

    Reply
    • Mike Fish
      Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 8:25 pm

      Dude… there’s nothing wrong with wealth and success, and you are a decent story teller, but you still come across as quite a shallow person yourself and truly seem to deserve this giant life lesson. Good luck!

      Just curious, how much you give to charity in the last 5 or 6 years?

      Reply
      • California Guy
        Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 9:30 pm

        Thanks for the wish for luck. As far as being shallow, this is pretty much the dating scene in Hollywood. The guys are all players and so are the girls. But I think it’s a temporary game. Once people find their soulmates, most will drop out of the game and try the family thing. If a guy just tries the traditional focus on one girl approach in LA, 9 times out of 10, he will be played too. His girlfriend will coincidentally need to use the bathroom after she rejects an incoming cellphone call at dinner. Of course, she will bring her purse – and her phone – to the bathroom with her. These girls all have 5-10 guys they are dating. I think it’s somewhat pragmatic. Everyone wants to hurry to find the right one, so they multi-task their dating. It may be immorral by some people’s standards, but I don’t judge it. As far as charity is concerned, I haven’t given as much as I liked (I thought I would have money a little longer, haha) but I will try to do more in the future when I have success again.

        Reply
        • Capt. Absurdity
          Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 10:40 pm

          Haha lol. A series of cliches. Club and money and everything sucks.

          I do not want that. It’s no fun at all. Just give me a simple (mature too) women and I’ll be fine.

          I rather just be on a boat somewhere and traveling.

          I want to see some realness of the world instead of this Amerikkka materialistic bullshit.

          Thanks.

          Reply
          • Capt. Absurdity
            Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 10:41 pm

            Right. I’m a loser with no life.

            Do I care?

            Nope.

            I’m happy the way I am. I’m also happy inside, all of the time.

          • Capt. Absurdity
            Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 10:43 pm

            If you don’t like what I’m saying…

            Well, come over with you bling bling and blow me head off. No problem.

            Is it jealously? Jealous of your money???

            Whatever man, think what you like.

          • California Guy
            Friday, March 27, 2009 at 9:42 am

            I agree. I’m tired of the American materialistic lifestyle. I hope China is better.

        • Joe #2
          Friday, March 27, 2009 at 7:52 am

          > Thanks for the wish for luck. As far as being shallow, this is pretty much the dating scene in Hollywood. The guys are all players and so are the girls.

          That’s the sad (and shallow) part :(

          Best of luck! It’s difficult to go through, but it’s good that you have that experience, though, to help you understand what’s really important.

          Reply
        • creepy
          Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:02 am

          well i am sorry and i have to tell you chinese girls are smarter than you think…

          sometimes a green card may be the only reason they marry an american

          i am a chinese and my expectation on today’s chinese girls is:

          i don’t care if you care about me or care about my money. it’s just okay as long as you don’t cheat on me

          and sadly most girls i met cheated on me

          hell, am i too pessimistic?

          Reply
          • California Guy
            Monday, March 30, 2009 at 3:56 pm

            Actually, I never minimized their intelligence. I’ve stated in this thread that I view them as equals, even superior in some respects. But never less than equal in any respect.

            What you are referring to when you say “smarter than you think”, is not actually about intelligence, it’s about tricking someone, cheating them and defrauding them of a genuine relationship. That is not “smart” at all. It will only lead to ruin and heartache.

            To give you credit, I used to think the same thing because that’s what everyone told me. Much to my surprise, Chinese girls are very nationalistic and 95% want me to move to China, not the other way around. It was a pleasant surprise. My experience on this covers a relatively large base, so I’m pretty confident about it.

    • Kai
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 9:55 am

      LoL, Christ Almighty, dude, that was a really depressing story.

      However, on the flip side, and as you said yourself, you got to experience a lot of awesome things and while it all fell apart, you learned a lot through it all. That’s definitey the right attitude.

      My advice when you come to China: You’ll probably feel even more wealthy here than back home. However, I’d try to remain low-key about it, focus on building your assets back up (for yourself, not for pussy), and only splurge as you can really afford (lol, avoid buying depreciating assets like supercars on credit). I’d recommend not splurging beyond a good meal and some basic living comforts, and try to live a simpler life. I don’t know you personally but I think your attitude by itself is enough charm to get you enough play. Your attitude is free, so take advantage of it rather than embellishing it with money wastefully. Heh, cheers, man.

      Reply
      • California Guy
        Friday, March 27, 2009 at 11:09 am

        Thanks bro, hey I’m down for that ChinaSmack Shanghai meet up. I’m moving to China next month – Hell or high water. :) Actually, the money I lost was really everything. It’s so fantasically crazy I can’t believe it. I will probably only have $4,000 to start my life in China. Better find a business to make some cash before that runs out. I’ll probably find a Chinese partner and start entrepreneuring again in China.

        God, I’m rolling the dice though. My friend thinks I’m crazy because he values only money and I can make that again quickly here. He doesn’t understand what I truly am searching for. Inner peace, sweetness. A certain zen oneness and simplicity of life. I have this fantasy in my mind (just a representative fantasy – I don’t actually want it, but it represents something I’m searching for). I imagine I’m sitting in the entrance of a 2,000 year old house. One foot on the dirt path below and one near my hand, where I’m lacing my shoe to go out for the day. My sweet Chinese wife is sitting on the floor in the open room behind me. She is my new wife and earnestly learning the skills of managing the household. She sits on the floor with a large stone bowl and is making the dough for xiaolong bao by hand. There is nothing else to think about. I’ll go out. When I come back, we’ll have dinner and make love. God, what a fantasy. I got this fantasy in my mind a few years ago and can’t shake it. I think it has some meaning.

        Actually I feel like an old soul. For the record, I’m still in my mid 30′s. But I feel like there is a voice that’s been calling me back to China for 3,000 years, even though I’ve never been there. Strange feeling.

        Thanks for the vote of confidence. I think my experiences laid the foundation for becoming the man I need to become – mature and responsible enough to deserve a Chinese princess of my own, the greatest treasure in the world.

        I’ll be happy with a nice apartment in Kunming or Hangzhou. I hope it’s possible to settle down. One of my friends says, “You can’t do it. You’re a playboy by nature, just like Heff. You’ll never be satisfied with only one.” It sounds like a curse. I don’t want that. I know why people become playboys, I understand it. Perhaps that will help me to overcome it.

        Basically, in my opinion when childhood is really lacking something, we overcompensate for it later in life. It’s like being really really hungry with your mom feeding you on food stamps, then you get envited to a huge Thanksgiving dinner at a four star restaurant. You will be the customer that makes them raise prices for the next year, haha. :) In my case, my childhood was very loney. My parents divorce when I was only 5. My sister left when I was only 11. My Dad avoid to pay child support and only see me on major holidays. My mom was alcoholic and never recover from that divorce. When she died, she was still alcoholic and still dirt poor. She had a sad life, always searching but never finding. This created an insecure feeling deep in my subconscious mind. I really wanted a father so bad.

        One day, when I was young (about 9), I was playing with one of my friends in the afternoon. He said, “Sorry, I gott go, I gotta hurry back home now! I’ll see you tomorrow!” I asked him why, and he said his dad was taking him to a baseball game. I went home and started to cry. It was totally unexpected. I never realized how deep the pain of not having a father was. I had never been taken to any game – baseball or otherwise. I’ve still never seen a baseball game.

        So, I just need to say to myself, “Okay stop acting out. You know you can get girls. You are good enough. They accept you. There’s nothing to prove anymore. Everything’s ok”. That’s the deeper emotional healing that I think is required to be normal.

        I think that’s why we’re all here on this earth. We get these vices and insecurities and the life goal is to overcome them all. If not, you come back and do another go around until you get closer. Maybe. Anyway, I accept my challenge and hope I can become a better person in China. Maybe I’ll run out of money and die near the train tracks in Beijing. It will be worth it. Because maybe, just maybe, I can reach my dream.

        Reply
    • Mao's princess
      Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 6:04 pm

      I once felt like the happiest woman in the universe. I had several male friends and a few close female friends. I spent time on intellectual pursuits and creating. A big part of happiness for me is learning life’s secrets, helping the world, and self-definition.

      But now all of my favorite men are married or are in a serious relationship. I feel like I am sleeping too much, but I don’t know?

      I still learn and create, and there is joy in my life.

      But at the end of the day, it is nice to have someone to cuddle.

      Love is an ever evasive concept. Sometimes chemistry dies. Other times, one person becomes they’re someone they are not.

      I notice how the man above didn’t complain of unhappiness until he lost his money and strings of women.

      My happiest times were with a small circle and little cash.

      Reply
      • California Guy
        Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 4:56 pm

        You sound like a very smart and spiritual girl. I feel good when I read your explain about intellectual persuits and creating. I imagine a beautiful girl in a white sun dress… Listening nice music and painting a beautiful picture. Just enjoying the wondeful day. Maybe window is open and nice breeze coming through the window. Haha, this is my imagine, feels good to think about.

        Reply
    • creepy
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 7:34 pm

      that’s good for you

      wish you luck:)

      Reply
  13. California Guy
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Sorry I had to put this in parts. The system wouldn’t let it all go up at once. I used the word, “market” in it which triggered the spam filter, haha. I took a minute to put it all up little by little and find the trigger words.

    Reply
  14. Teacher in China
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Wow man, not really sure what to say, as it seems like saying “interesting” would be a bit condescending. You went through a severe life change there, something most of us will never go through. I read that and the whole time I was thinking, how can I copy this, tone down the language, and use it for my students! Talk about high-interest reading!!
    I’m kind of going through the opposite of you right now. I’ve never had a lot of money in my life. Just an average (usually below average) income guy. Since moving to China, I’ve been getting paid in Canadian wages, which means I suddenly have a huge disposable income. For sure I’ve felt the same way you said you felt – who can you trust? I actually lost probably the perfect girl for me because of that – because of my inability to trust. She’s since proven herself to be a good, honest and true person. Too bad she’s getting married later this year.
    I guess we all have to learn from mistakes, and try to get something useful out of all our experiences in life, even the shitty ones that we would rather just forget. Seems like you’re on that road already, good luck to you!

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 6:01 pm

      Thanks a lot. My guess is the Chinese girls are usually a good bet. You can trust them. They have a saying in Chinese, “Time reveals a person’s heart”. If you spend some time with them, you’ll see where the priorities are. Just don’t ruin it by throwing too much cash around. That is a little shocking to girls and they can get wrapped up in it. Not their fault, cause it’s fun. But the results are that it’s hard to come back from that. So, my lesson learned is, just keep it simple. If a girl realizes that “the best things in life are free”, don’t mess with it. Just enjoy the fact that she sees the big picture. Put the money in the bank and buy an apartment with it. Don’t finance anything, don’t leverage anything and don’t waste money on “bling”, haha. Hey, this advice cost me 1.5 million dollars, so it’s hard to call it my 2 cents, but you get the idea… Hope it helps for whatever it’s worth.

      Reply
      • Name
        Friday, March 27, 2009 at 4:17 am

        Chinese girls love saying “Shi jian neng zheng meng yi qie”. Its not really necessary though. Just be honest and talk about everything. If they’re iffy and don’t want to answer the question, then just move on in my opinion.

        If you actually have real feelings for me then you don’t have anything to hide

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Friday, March 27, 2009 at 9:55 am

          Good point. I always try to be honest. That’s why when some girls I meet online say, “When we meet, I want to introduce you to my parents. I want to marry you”, I always tell them that I will need time to meet many people and make sure how I feel before choose a life partner. This way, I don’t need to break any hearts if possible. I know Chinese girls are sweet, and pretty much any one of them would be more than I deserve, but I’d like to find one that really makes me feel alive. :)

          Reply
      • California Guy
        Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:23 am

        Haha, I love you say, “Lightning marriage leads to lightning divorce”. Yes, I need to consider these things too.

        I think you are right about 2nd tier and 3rd tier cities. I met really great girls from Kunming, Chengdu and Hefei. I also meet a couple girls from Shanghai. But Shanghai girls make me nervous. First, they want men to cook and do dishes in Shanghai, haha. Maybe that should be my punish for this life, lol. Shanghai girls have so many bad image though, I think I am better to avoid those, they are probably very similar to american girls.

        I read a book about the migrant workers in Dongguan. I bet those girls are simple and sweet. I want a girl who doesn’t expect a Prada purse on the 2nd date. I actually had a girl say, “If you really like me, would you take me shopping?” I really wanted this girl. I said, “Alright what you want me to get you?” Oh not much. “How about a handbag?” Haha, here we go again. Alright let’s go shopping. Keep in mind, this was the FIRST DATE. My God (by the way, also Korean – am I seeing a trend here?).

        So off we go – to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills because that’s where all the top handbag stores are. I’m expecting her to want a Prada bag for $800. So we’re standing on the conrner and I proffer, “So what brand you like? Prada? Dior? Gucci?” She responds quickly, no hesitiation in this girl’s voice. “Chanel”. The sound rings in my ears to this day, echoing through the halls of time. :D Ok, we cross the street to Chanel. I never bought Chanel for a girl before, so this should be interesting… “OK, I found the bag I want! I’m so happy! Thank you for being so kind to me!” I reach in the bag to pull out the price tag, they always hide them in the inside pocket… I reach in and find the cardboard tag. I pull it out and let my eyes focus on the numbers as the lights from the shop gleam down on them. $2,900.00 Oh, shit on me. Remember that line from The Crow? Classic. “Shit on me, well this is a first. Should I bow or should I courtsey?” Haha, love it. Anyway, here we are $2,900 + tax. She prances over to the register with it and hands it to the cashier. “Would you like anything else? How about a matching wallet?” Haha, she’s killing me. “No, we’re fine just like this.” It’s like asking a rape victim, “Hi miss, well I’m done raping you now, just getting ready to head out for lunch… Do you need anything else before I go? Sodomy perhaps or some analingus?” Haha. So, we got out of there and went to dinner (another $150) and had a pretty nice time after that.

        The point is, I’m kind of tired of that scene. I dated a Japanese girl for awhile when I was still innocent and had no money, and no shit, she said this to me: “A gift only comes in 2 boxes. A blue one or a red one – Tiffany or Cartier” That was the beginning of the downward slide. Haha, to her credit, she taught me how to be rich, so I can do it again if I want to (hopefully just the getting rich part, not the being a stupid ass part).

        But I think that just a simple life is better. I’d be happy with an apartment in Hangzhou and a sweet little Chinese princess who just happy to see me and eat dinner together. :)

        Reply
  15. Swiss James
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    Well at first I was going to say

    “When you have to break a comment up into 4 pieces, that means you shouldn’t be posting it in the comments section”

    But f- it, I enjoyed the story.

    If you want to collect good looking women by the armful then you’re always going to have money troubles.

    Do you ever consider about having a genuine relationship with one girl?

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 5:43 pm

      Yeah, that’s the idea now. I want to settle with one. But my friend says, “Are you crazy? You’re not the type. You’re going to be unhappy, bla, bla, bla. Haha. I don’t think he’s right. I think if I find one that really does “it” for me, whatever that is, I can make it work. I am willing to give it a try.

      Reply
      • Rick in China
        Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 6:42 pm

        I enjoyed your story, and it touches on a valuable lesson.

        I’m not so sure about the point on “Chinese people are sweeter in general than other places”, though – while this is true for many of them, I’ve met some sincerely sweet people in other countries, too.

        Good luck with your new mission, it’s hard to really find a single person anywhere in the world, hopefully you’ve been in China long enough to see the many pitfalls involved in looking here before arriving at your current conclusion.

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 7:38 pm

          Actually, I’ve never been to China, but… I read ChinaSmack! Haha, don’t let me down guys… ;)

          Reply
          • matt
            Monday, March 30, 2009 at 12:57 pm

            you are going to get a reality check buddy. sure you can get laid, any white guy can get laid in china. but to find people that you can trust, well that is hard to do anywhere. look for a decent girl who has a job (not a hairdresser or a masseuse).

            i agree with kai. you never want to flaunt, you will only end up with the type of people you don’t want to surround yourself with.

  16. VeerLeft
    Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    Here’s a hint. Find girls who actually work and that are not in their home city (ie, not living with mom and dad).
    These girls are a) more willing to do their part to ensure your happiness, stability etc.
    b) open-minded
    c) *MOST IMPORTANT* Not under their parents direct control. In other words they are not being guided or misguided by their parents.
    I like my girls bright, proud and optimistic. Money is not the issue at all.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 9:22 pm

      Good advice. Makes a lot of sense to me. It seems a lot of girls I met online are living away from their hometowns. I will take this advice. I’m certainly not looking forward to “Meet The Parents” before the time is right. Especially if the fathers are anything like Deniro in that movie, haha.

      Reply
    • Kai
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:24 am

      While not always true, that’s actually a REALLY good piece of practical advice. People, especially girls, who have left home and can fully support themselves often have a very different understanding of life than those who haven’t.

      I think Americans like California Guy may not necessarily appreciate this difference amongst the youth in China because Americans as a society are predisposed to leaving the nest as soon as they can. In China, like many other countries where many youth tend to remain with their parents until marriage, this difference manifests itself on SO MANY levels in the character of the youth in question.

      The only flip-side I think worth cautioning is that girls who work MAY be more pragmatic while girls who don’t MAY be more idealistic. “Idealistic” could both help and hurt you. It will hurt you when their idealism means exchanging providers from Daddy to you. It will help you when their idealism means “money is less important than finding someone you love.” Likewise, pragmatism can hurt you when it means financial means and stability is more important than love. Likewise, pragmatism can help you when she has no qualms about working side by side with you contributing to you and the family she’ll make with you.

      +1 for VeerLeft.

      Reply
      • California Guy
        Friday, March 27, 2009 at 11:31 am

        Wow. Very insightful. Idealism or pragmatism? This will be a difficult choice. I think at this point, I like the idealism aspect. I just want someone really sweet. Undying, unconditional love. Just sweet. A Little princess. Haha, what’s wrong with me? Anyway, it’s my f’d up life, so I get to hold the steering wheel I guess. Hope I make a good choice… But in reality, any Chinese girl would be better than what I’m finding here in Glitter Town. :)

        Reply
  17. Jay K
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 1:02 am

    california guy are you by any chance in beijing, and living somewhere on the west side of beijing, and is your gf or girl you are dating from shanxi/shaanxi province. if im right then i god damn know who the fuck you are, you cockmaster

    Reply
    • Kai
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:28 am

      LoL, you said “cockmaster.”

      +1 for you, just for saying that.

      Reply
    • California Guy
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 11:45 am

      Haha, you are great. I agree with Kai. Anyone who can give another guy props like that is very cool. No, I’m still here in Glitter Town (Hollywood). I will move to China next month to roll the dice of my life. Unless of course what you saw was actually a vision of the future, then, hey – who knows? Haha, there I go again. Reading this site everyday keeps me sane. I think I’ll be ok, as long as I can still access this site through The Great Firewall when I come to China. You guys are all quite a bit different from my friends here. I can see your values coming through all the time on different issues. It inspires me to be a better person.

      Reply
  18. hey
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 3:02 am

    Wow California Guy. Thanks for the story. I always wonder why there are so many luxury cars and houses in craigslist. People should write about how their businesses went down. From being rich to being poor. Sometimes I wonder should I blame people like you which kind of caused the economy to go down. People who cannot afford materials keep on buying and finance it later.
    I have lived my life conservatively. Save my money for bad times. I do not buy things that I cannot afford. I do not go out to eat. I have been unemployed for months. What did I do to deserve this?
    Whatever it is, I cannot blame you since you are not in a better situation than I am. You have a positive attitude to get back on your feet. Good Luck!!
    What is your goal going to China? For a wife or for a future?

    Reply
    • hey
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 3:11 am

      http://shanghaiist.com/2009/03/26/foreign_dudes_out_of_luck_with_chin.php

      Reply
      • California Guy
        Friday, March 27, 2009 at 12:03 pm

        By the way, I already read that. It seems like propaganda to me. I read a similar article a couple weeks ago. I’m not noticing any decrease. This is going to sound like bragging, sorry about this, but I get about 5-10 new girls everyday that want a relationship with me in China. I don’t think it’s because I’m great or anything special. I don’t really know what it is. Maybe in the online dating world, I’m a decent choice – not bald, fat, old and I know how to make money (and lose it, haha). Or maybe, compared to the ultra competitive dating scene in LA, everything else is easier. The girls here are so judgmental, it’s so difficult to get one. That’s why we are pushed to such extreme money earning. It’s just Darwin. If you want to procreate you need to be strong enough to catch a mate. Or maybe I’m just talking out of my ass, haha. I don’t know. Hope I figure it out soon.

        Reply
    • California Guy
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 11:51 am

      Hi glad you enjoyed my story of “Going down in a blaze of glory”, haha. I always liked that Song. I think for me, it was just bad timing. This was the way we get wealthy in the US. We leverage. If you can spend 10k and control something worth 100k, then do it. Then flip it. We do it with houses, businesses, everything. I just got my debut right before the fall of The Empire, haha. Oh well. It will bounce back. Then, people will be building wealth the same way. For better or worse, it seems to work. I feel the same process is coming to China now. I see it here and there in the articles and books I’m reading. Well, one thing is for sure… At least I stimulated the economy! :D Haha, all at once! Oh well, I’m an ass. Better luck next time I guess.

      Reply
  19. Jealous
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:59 am

    ROFL, wow you big bunch of whores. California guy comes strutting onto this site with his charm, exceptional story telling and money and you guys go chasing him like a bunch of groupies.
    lol

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 11:55 am

      Haha, you’re funny. “Bunch of whores”. Haha, alright. I think “strut” is a bit of a stretch though. Go read the long reply I just posted to one of Kai’s comments above. I think I’ve worked the strut down to a desperate crawl, haha. Cheers!

      Reply
  20. Tommy
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 11:04 am

    I have a good idea for you California guy, choose the best 5 Chinese girls you can find and have a talent competition. Hire a talent agent and judge them on different skills.
    Just a hint……..dont let the loser drive!

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 12:11 pm

      That reminds me of a Japanese horror movie I saw, “Audition”. Did you see it? Great movie. The guy works in TV production and needs a wife. He decides that he will hold an audition for a TV show that he never intends to make. It’s just a trick – an excuse, to audition girls to find a good one. His plan is to gradually stall the girl about the production while building a relationship over dinners, etc. Then he can finally say, “the project fell through”, and he will already have a relationship with a great girl. That is, unless the one he chooses is a demented, psychotic killing machine, haha. Bad choice. Great film.

      No, my life has been harrowing enough. I’ve only shared about 20% of it on this thread. I don’t want to Kai an ulcer, haha. But I know, I’m really pressing my luck if I try any tricks like that in China. Just wanna keep my head down and find my own way. I know what you guys say, “The nail the sticks up, is the first to get smashed down”. Doesn’t sound too attractive right now, haha.

      Reply
    • ms tery
      Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 10:13 pm

      So what are Tommy’s areas of expertise besides stalking and showing up mysteriously?

      And dropping a bomb.

      Get lost.

      Reply
  21. FangYao
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    look thought some of the comments, it is a little disrespectful for Chinese woman or any female.
    you guys talk about the relationship is not really balance here, love has to be the same way feeling for each other. havent found your partner, already setup for which country she comes from…….it is unhealthy.
    or maybe we are talking about the sexual attractive not the love here.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 6:37 pm

      For me, deciding where to settle down is pretty much the first step towards mate selection. I think most people have a general idea of the kind of girl they want to have before they start really searching. Sure casual dating is different. But when you’re done with all that. When you’re really ready to get serious about it, you’ve got to be realistic.

      I dated a lot of different kinds of girls here in LA, and while you can’t stereotype different races, there are some characteristics that seem to prevail in different kinds of girls. Haha, maybe that’s a fancy way to say, “fuck it, let’s stereotype anyway, haha. Just kidding. But in my experience I had some Chinese girls here. I gotta say, they were the sweetest ones. I also really love the Chinese culture. So why not? If you like a certain kind of girl, and you’ve tried most other kinds to make sure, wouldn’t it make sense to go where there is more of what you like? If I want a sweet non-Americanized Chinese girl, then my selection will be greatly enhanced in the country they all come from, right? Anyway, I’m willing to give it a shot. Maybe the same time, 我学习中文和吃很都小龙包， 哈哈。

      Reply
  22. Mark
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    A lot of good advice on this thread…I just got married to a great Chinese girl who is more open-minded and fun-loving than most Chinese girls but isn’t high-maintenance or lazy either. She’s the right mix of modern and traditional and our relationship is great. But I’ve gone out with other girls who were on either end of the spectrum and they can be a real drag. California Dude, I’d say be careful of wanting a sweet wilting flower maiden waiting for her knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet. They are fiercely loyal and loving, but also fiercely clingy and possessive, and can sometimes have underdeveloped personalities. And as far as the opposite spectrum goes, you know all about that. Divas are divas anywhere, US or China. The balance is in the middle, as it is with almost everything in life. Find that open-minded, motivated, confident-yet-not-snobby girl who values you as her safety in an unpredictable world and not just as a wallet to provide her with creature comforts. It can be a long search but it’s worth it, even if just for the journey, and China’s a big place with a lot of possibilities. If a girl feels that you value her as more than just a sexy body and care about her future, she will give you everything. Just one thing to be aware of: there’s usually no such thing as “casual dating” in China, except in big cities, and even then it’s half-hearted. Most Chinese women are looking for commitment, and it’s easy to unintentionally lead them on. Tread lightly.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Friday, March 27, 2009 at 8:16 pm

      Wow, “tread lightly” sounds ominous. Like it’s going to come back to haunt me someday. Hope it doesn’t. :) You’re right I should be careful. That’s the one snag in my approach to this that I’ve noticed so far. Chinese girls want 100% committment from date 1.

      The good news is, they are smart. They understand that Americans are more casual about dating and sex. I guess the key is like you said, just be moderate about it. Don’t set the world record for how many Chinese girls to bang in one year, haha. That’s not the idea this time.

      I really just want to find the right one, but there are millions. It would take forever to find the right one through serial dating. I think it would be quicker to date 10 or 20 for a couple months, then make a quick choice. I told the girls I met what my basic plan is.

      I know this much. If there is a girl that I know I’m not interested in, I won’t have sex with her, especially if she’s a virgin. No sense in being that casual about it. It would just cause emotional hardship for someone else and I don’t want that. But my God, I wish I could post pics of these girls… they are off the charts f-ing HOT! It’s going to be hard to choose. Oh man, I hope I don’t have that stupid problem.

      You know what I mean? You date a group of good girls, waiting for them to f-up, so you can cut them from the team? God, this is sounding mercenary isn’t it? Sorry, just too damn practical for my own good. Back to my point. What if, in the process (this is my fear, really) you get down to the Final Four and no one f’s up? What if they’re all hot, sweet, cook, and are amazing in the sack? Then I’m screwed. I’ve thought about that.

      You always expect fate to automatically work things out for you. But fate can be a bastard sometimes. Just ask Shakespear, haha. Oh well. There are worse problems to have. It sure is going to be fun! My favorite girls so far are in Chengdu, Beijing, Hefei, Wuhan and Kunming, with a couple bonus hotties in Xi’an and Shanghai.

      I’m going to resign myself to what I Chinese friend recently told me, “The cart will find it’s way around the mountain when it gets there”. Another great Chinese expression. Man, you guys have expressions for everything, haha. Cool.

      Reply
      • Mercator
        Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 12:34 am

        You think it would be quicker to date 10 or 20 for a couple months, then make a quick choice.

        AND THEY’RE WILLING TO PUT UP WITH THAT? Really?

        Are they allowed to date 10-20 laowais while you make up your tiny mind?

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 1:28 am

          This might seem like a strange question… But isn’t that how everyone dates? Have I been in CA for too long? Everyone I know dates like this. It doesn’t make sense to put all the eggs in one basket until you find a decent one. Maybe I need to adjust my perspective on this. I will think about your comment. Thanks.

          Reply
          • Name
            Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 12:36 pm

            If you want to find someone that actually has real feelings for you then this is the way to do it, as long as you’re upfront about it and fully disclose everything

            But most people get married just to get married. When the divorce rate is 40%-50% there is something fundamentally wrong with the dating approach

            Not in CA, never been to CA. I’m in a state much smaller than CA and have lots of contact with regular middle class Eastern Chinese people

          • wicked smile
            Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 7:10 pm

            I am from small town in IL NO ise. We all date this way too, usually about 3-5 partners per person.

            Thing is, so many keep in the same small circle.

            Children at school look at each other and say, “Who be related to who?”

  23. okura
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    Well I hate to piss on everyone’s chip here. But I honestly think this is a load of balls.

    California Guy, if you are for real (forgive me for that if you are – but gut feeling tells me you are not) do you seriously think that by running away from the place you made so many mistakes to a place were you know little about except some dubious idealistic impressions of innocence, nobility and honest simplicity is going to turn your life around and bring you happiness? A happiness that is going to come at the expense of treating others like units a text book management model?

    If you are for real you are going to hit the ground very, very hard. China and the Chinese have a lot more going for them than you seem to give them credit for (and trust me, I hate saying that)

    And worse still, if you recover from your next fall where are you going to go next?

    Everyone else, lap it up guys — FanyYao I don’t think you’ve managed to express what you are really wanting to say but I’m with your sentiment and I think what you are feeling about these comments goes a lot deeper than you’ve expressed.

    Good luck CG ‘by the pricking of my thumbs…’ you guys should know the rest.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 1:49 am

      Yeah, I’m for real. If I told you my whole story, then you really wouldn’t believe it. Nobody ever does until they know me and see for themselves.

      About coming to China, for me it’s not really a feeling of running. Actually my old business is ready for a restart here in the US. I could get back on my feet here in about 18 months. Already have two small investors who will help out. So, actually, going to China is much higher risk and giving me a lot of stress.

      About giving Chinese people credit. I esteem Chinese higher than myself. Actually Japanese also. I think they are both superior races and cultures to mine. That is about as strong as I can put it for you. I don’t think they are dumb, naive, immature or uncultured. I apologize if any statements I made inferred that in any way.

      For me, China is a challenge to be a better person. To leave behind the playboy lifestyle and have a normal monogamous relationship. Just thought you guys might have some advice, that’s all, since it was kind of on topic at this point.

      About units in a textbook model, I can’t help that. I always analyze things that way. Business, money, relationships, life. I’m too numeric and analytical in my thinking. It’s gotten me into trouble quite a few times. I think of things in percentages and probability ratios all the time. By no means is it meant to downplay another person’s worth, unique human right to decide as they please or anything of that nature. It’s just a way for me to see things.

      As far as the next fall. If you don’t mind, I’d like to hope there won’t be one, haha. Listen, most entrepreneurs lose their asses more than once. Maybe not from over leveraging like I foolishly did, but it happens. Actually, statistically, I read that the average entrepreneur goes bankrupt at least twice in their career.

      I started my last company with just $500 – enough to buy a used computer from one of my friends. I come from a poor background, so I learned how to “shoe-string” business start ups that will self capitalize and have low overhead. I know I can make money again. I just need to work on the traditional relationship model.

      I still take what you said to heart. I don’t want to have a simplistic view of Chinese girls and I want to give them credit as being my equals, and yes, 当然，it is perfectly OK for any one of them to date as many other guys as they choose until we decide to take our relationship on the path to marriage. At that point (actually a little before), I would also stop dating other girls. I never ask something from someone else that I wouldn’t do myself.

      Reply
      • ?!
        Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 9:29 am

        it is perfectly OK for any one of them to date as many other guys as they choose until we decide to take our relationship on the path to marriage.

        Dude, any Chinese girl who would do this is almost certainly not the kind you say you are looking for. And the kind you say you are looking for is almost certain not to appreciate this kind of behaviour from you.

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 5:03 pm

          Well, either I’m blind and these girls are brilliant illusionists, or… your wrong. I respect your opinion though. But it is not what I’m experiencing. These girls are genuine, they are sweet and sincere, but they are also SMART. Of course, they won’t tolerate it for long, that would be abusing the situation and stringing them along. I won’t do that to them. I will be honest all the time and talk about my feelings the whole time. I definitely want to choose the right one in less than a year. As soon as I feel a girl is not likely the one for me, I will tell her and hopefully be her friend. Even she gets a new boyfriend I won’t be jealous, I will want her to be happy. Anyway, maybe it will be fun to have some female friends. They probably give me good advice for this crazy life of mine, haha.

          Reply
          • ?!
            Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 10:22 am

            From what you have written so far, it would seem that you have been communicating with these girls completely over the Internet? We will see what happens in real life. I still say that the kind of sweet Chinese girl you say you are looking for is not the kind that would knowingly and happily allow the person she was dating to date other people. I guess it all depends on what you mean by dating though. If it’s just dinner/going out to movies she probably wouldn’t be too opposed (even though she wouldn’t like it). If it involved anything more physical/sexual, I don’t think you’d find any of them agreeing. Sure there are plenty of Chinese girls that probably wouldn’t care about this, and who would also date several guys at the same time, but the personality of this type of girl and what she is looking for in a relationship is quite different from what you have said you are looking for.

  24. Ching Chong
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    Welcome to California Gay’s personal therapy thread. Discussions about anything but his personal dysfunctions shall not be address

    Reply
  25. Capt. Absurdity
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    Hello all,

    I dun not mean to offend any gay people with my Capt. Homo remark. Believe me, if I was 100% gay I would be proud to carry around such a moniker. But I’m not.

    I’m Capt. Absurdity!

    And I fucking hate the world!

    And God is on my side.

    God will bring his wrath on all you sinners, real soon now.

    Buddah-Jesus-Jahovah-Muhamud-Allah-Ackbar-Temujin-WEST-SIDE!

    Reply
  26. Capt. Absurdity
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    Forgot to add:

    Obama-Hussien-Saddam-Godwin-he-shall-not-be-named-Bin-Laden FOR THE WIN!

    Reply
  27. Capt. Absurdity
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    MAO ZE DONG &&U STALIN OG’S reppiN 4 EVA BITCHES!

    Reply
  28. dace
    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    Cali Guy you better have a job lined up (teaching is a good start) if you’re only coming with 4k in your pocket…especially if you’re wanting to meet up with all those hotties. They’ll be expecting a nice (read expensive) date from a foreigner, and yeah, some of them here expect you to show your love by blowing 30k RMB on a Gucci bag.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 2:00 am

      My plan is high risk. I will entrepreneur again. It’s the only thing I know how to do. Sink or swim. It will be fantastic either way. Haha, I’ll keep you guys posted. I’m not afraid. I’ve always taken risks like this. I think that’s why I was able to rise to the level I did (which only took 3 years – bucuo, right?).

      The stakes are higher this time. I already know some good girls I’ve been emailing with for about a year that don’t want Gucci, haha. Thank God. Actually for the record, I only really have 4 girls that are really top considerations for me. The others will probably be friends. Which is actually a new concept for me. I usually never wanted a girl for a friend, it might be nice. So, I won’t actually be actively dating 20 girls.

      The good news is that the cost of living in China will be much lower, so I don’t need as much success right away to make ends meet. My monthly nut here before The Fall was about $25,000 per month. I had over $5,000/mo just in car payments. Thankfully, China has a nice public trans. :) Even at bare bones here, I’d need $3,000 a month to survive. I can do it for a fraction in China. I think I can get my revenue up to par in about 8 months. I just need to survive that long. Hey… Anyone got an available sofa? Haha, just kidding.

      Reply
      • Tommy
        Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 8:03 am

        I know everyone says this and it rarely sinks in, but running a business here is NOT easy. You are competing against 1.3 billion other people who think its glorious to get rich. And for these people, cheating the laowai is a national sport and they are GOOOOOD.
        I suggest you take your time and build your guanxi wherever you decide to live.

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 5:09 pm

          Thanks. I’m ok with “survival of the fittest”. I usually excel beyond others in very competetive environments. Probably because I grew up in a desparate part of New York. I had nothing. No one else had anything, it was fight to survive. That’s how I built my “chops” for entrepreneuring. There were no investors available to me in those days. It was just wash dishes, save cash and then risk your life on some crazy idea. Haha, so far so good. Now, I know how to make a business fly. Other people don’t really matter. I’ve usually had to do everything on my own. Just hope I can find a more balanced life tis time. That worries me more than making money.

          Reply
        • California Guy
          Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 5:13 pm

          I’m not worried about that. My entrepreneuring is usually a one-man show. Obviously the one time partner attempt didn’t work out well, haha. Truth be told, I have a knack for making money. Here I go with numbers again… I figure, there is a 90% chance I will make it, and an 80% chance I will make it in less than a year. I just hope I can change my priorities this time. I believe the good people of China can help me. Does that sound corny? I really believe it.

          Reply
      • totochi
        Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 8:03 am

        CG,

        Since you’re looking at 2nd tier cities, here’s what I know of Chengdu. My GF rents a furnished studio inside the 1st ring road for ¥1200/month + ¥150/month for management fee and utilities. Depending on what you eat, you can live on ¥20/day but ¥50/day is more realistic. Public bus (no subways yet) is ¥2/trip and 5km taxi rides are ~¥12; you need to buy a bicycle. If you don’t go on too many expensive dates, your US$4000 should last you 8 months. :)

        BTW, my GF is in college. She has a lot of nice friends that would like to meet a laowai. I’m from California (Orange County) too but since I’m ethnically Chinese, it’s not too exciting for them.

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 5:21 pm

          Very very helpful post. Thanks! I had to break out the currency conversion calculator, haha. So, I works out to her paying about $200 a month for her place. That’s very good! When I looked at places in Hangzhou (I love Hangzhou), it was not looking so wonderful. The nice places were going for about 3 times that amount. That’s probably also because this was internet listing made for laowai, haha. You guys could probably get it for a much better deal. I’ve got some good news about the $4000 – I’ll post it separately below as an “Update” to my situation, haha.

          Reply
          • Rick in China
            Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 6:35 pm

            If you have such a knack for making money, you would have more than $8000 US to bring with you, after spending so many years on this planet.

            While I wish you luck, you seem to be quite naive in all of your assumptions and calculations, perhaps you “rose to the top” without experiencing incidentals, or realizing that there’s more to just food housing and transportation when living abroad. You should also realize that..well, nobody wants to do business with a broke dude who has nothing to invest, and you’ll not be able to earn money doing anything other than teaching english without a _lot of luck_ unless you can speak fluently – you have a long journey ahead of you, don’t fool yourself into believing you’ll meet a bunch of wonderful women and have an ultra cheap fantastic life, it don’t werk like that.

            8 grand without any *serious* prospects….english teacher trap in the making.

        • Paul
          Thursday, August 12, 2010 at 4:37 pm

          hey man I’m an American guy, I just moved to Chengdu recently and wouldn’t mind meeting some of your gf’s friends, haha. Just graduated Uni a couple years ago and trying to learn Chinese now, so totally cool if their english is sub-par.

          QQ:1395841963

          Reply
  29. effez
    Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 7:25 am

    Wow calif dude….

    And I thought I had it hard when it came to money and women …. props to you man for being able to pick up after a great fall. hope things play out well for you in china.. in the meantime I’ll be doing my best avoiding the dreaded “Sydney Princess” as well…Last one I dated kept pestering me for an LV monogram bag… Needless to say I just stopped meeting her after a while…

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 5:22 pm

      Hopefully, you didn’t buy the bag, or at least she was really amazing! :)

      Reply
      • effez
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 3:52 pm

        Well… she was hot in a way… being from Shanghai and all (note: I’m not saying ladies from other parts of china are not hot) …. but no, I didn’t get her the bag in the end. Called it off because I thought it wasn’t worth the agony.. Pretty sure there are plenty of better fish out there…

        Reply
  30. Ming
    Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    Here is my prediction for cali dude:

    He is going to find a chinese girl who he thinks is sweet and cute, but most likely it will be a ex-prostitute looking for a forienger who is supposingly have more money then an average chinese dude.

    Face it dude, if u dont have the cash, you wont win in a competition against local chinese. It is that simple. Chinese women, are just like the ones you date in LA. Except in here, we call it safty. How save is a man? (how finincally secure is he?) Your only advantage, is your career, that is assuming that you can make more then an average Chinese. If not, you will just be another short term boy toy. Good to play with, not good for marriage.

    I know, I dated mostly Chinese women my life.

    And no, I dont buy your story. People who are smart enough to start their own business, should be smart enough to save. Your story tells us that you wasted your money away on stupid toys and acting like a fool in front of women. 2900 for a fucking bag on 2nd date? Hookers in the US cause about 100 dollars or 400 for the whole night.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 5:28 pm

      Haha, you are cynical but smart. If I was more cynical like you, I probably could have avoided a lot of trouble. Wish I at least had a friend like you to tell me what an ass I was being during that time. To reply, yes I am smart enough to make that money and yes, I am dumb enough to waste it, haha. God help me. I will remember your reprimand. I hope I’m getting wiser. About competing, I’m not worried about it. That’s probably why girls like me. Look at me, I just lost my ass, got nothing to my name, about to risk my life to go to a country with no friends, no family and no safety net, yet I’m still confident. I’ve either got something special or I’m just too stupid to know, haha. Either way, fine. I’ll make it.

      Reply
      • Ming
        Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 9:54 pm

        I am betting you wont make it.

        I am betting that you will lost everything again.

        But most important of all, I am betting that all this is a story telling from some guy with a Asian fetish.

        If you are who you say you are, you should never have the oppertunity to make money in the first place. Maybe the US give out too many oppertunity. Dont worry, China is on another level, knowing that you have no connection, you wont make it.

        You will be back in the US in less then 6 months, assuming your story has any truths in it.

        Reply
  31. okura
    Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    ‘If I told you my whole story, then you really wouldn’t believe it.’

    Well as I don’t believe it so far I guess you are on the money there.

    However, if you are prepared to humour me and the other cynics writing here further would you be willing to offer more substantive justifications for the following groups of statements?

    ‘About giving Chinese people credit. I esteem Chinese higher than myself. Actually Japanese also. I think they are both superior races and cultures to mine.’

    __________

    ‘For me, China is a challenge to be a better person. To leave behind the playboy lifestyle and have a normal monogamous relationship.’ + ”A certain zen oneness and simplicity of life.’ + ‘My plan is high risk. I will entrepreneur again. It’s the only thing I know how to do.’ + ‘I accept my challenge and hope I can become a better person in China.’

    __________

    ‘Chinese girls want 100% committment from date 1.’ + ‘I think it would be quicker to date 10 or 20 for a couple months, then make a quick choice. I told the girls I met what my basic plan is.’ + ‘But my God, I wish I could post pics of these girls… they are off the charts f-ing HOT! It’s going to be hard to choose. Oh man, I hope I don’t have that stupid problem.’ + ‘You know what I mean? You date a group of good girls, waiting for them to f-up, so you can cut them from the team?’ + ‘I only really have 4 girls that are really top considerations for me.’ + ‘To leave behind the playboy lifestyle and have a normal monogamous relationship.’

    __________

    ‘I know, there’s bad people everywhere. But the percentage of sweet people are just higher in China, and that’s good enough for me. ‘

    __________

    ‘I think it would be quicker to date 10 or 20 for a couple months, then make a quick choice. I told the girls I met what my basic plan is.’ + ‘ It’s going to be hard to choose.’ + ‘My favorite girls so far are in Chengdu, Beijing, Hefei, Wuhan and Kunming, with a couple bonus hotties in Xi’an and Shanghai.’ + ‘Thankfully, China has a nice public trans.’ + Even at bare bones here, I’d need $3,000 a month to survive. I can do it for a fraction in China.’

    __________

    Sorry I’ve cut and paste so many comments and juxtaposed them with comments from replies of yours to other posts but they are now all in the public domain so mixing them up a little should hurt and they do represent the message you are trying to get across to us, don’t they?

    If you are for real and your plan is to unfold, I for one would be more than happy to meet up with you some time. Hell I’d even reduce your monthly expenditure and temporarily raise your projected standard of living by treating you to a good dinner and some fine wine.

    Reply
    • Californa Guy
      Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 5:52 pm

      Hey, I’d be happy with some really good xiaolong bao. I’m addicted to those! I also want to try other kinds of dumplings. :) If things work out, maybe I could buy you dinner, haha.

      Reply
      • okura
        Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 7:31 pm

        Yeah I’ll buy the xiaolong bao and I’ll throw in a bottle of fake Quingdao and happily watch you down the lot. In return dinner on you at an eatery of my choice.

        Done deal.

        You are going to fit in really well in China, trust me.

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 7:39 pm

          Eatery of your choice? Haha, I see this coming… Is there a Four Seasons Hotel restaurant in shanghai? Jeeze, that should only set me back about 4,000 RMB. Lol, just kidding. :) We should all hook up at the ChinaSmack get together in Shanghai. That would be great.

          Reply
  32. Californa Guy
    Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Hey everyone! Update on my crazy life. :D Got some great news! I sold my car for more than I expected, even though there were so many bad offers. I think people are using the bad economy as an excuse to rip each other off, haha. Anyway, I held out and got a reasonable deal. Then, I got a better price on the laptop I need for my work while I’m in China. The total result? Instead of just $4,000, I’ll have $8,000 to survive. Still not a lot, but I’m trending in the right direction, right? Who would know, a couple small changes and my budget doubles? Very cool.

    And this is money I will have after all travel, a little tourism and getting ready to research business opportunities. According to Totochi’s calculations, that could carry me for over a year. :D Beautiful. That’s enough time to make something happen. Hopefully, something good happen. Bad things are quick, no need to wait for them, haha.

    I bought a suitcase today and started cramming it full of my entire life. I will travel with just one suitcase and one carry on, whatever won’t fit, isn’t part of my life anymore. I believe in traveling light. I don’t like to be a pack rat.

    One of the things I want in this stage of my life, is more time outdoors. I want to see nature more. That’s why the laptop. Wouldn’t it be great to do my work in beautiful natural surroundings all the time? Sitting near a beautiful mountain, drinking green tea, listening to beautiful traditional Chinese music? Haha, maybe do some taijiguan. :)

    I’m reading a book about a guy traveling through China. He spent some time in Dali. He said it’s beautiful with fresh, clean air and beautiful mountains and rivers. He also said that a lot of famous artists own second homes there. A lot of people kick back and live the Bohemian life in Dali. Then he said something that BLEW MY MIND! He said that you can rent a house there that will sleep 4 people for RMB 400/month! That’s only (hold on, let me get my currency conversion claculator…) $60/month! How the hell is that possible? I definitely want to spend some time there. What you guys think?

    I’m going to apply for my visa soon. Hope it’s not difficult. Had to wait until the car sold, so I can put some cash in the bank. Now, I’m ready. You guys think I’ll pull it off?

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 11:27 am

      Yeah but still. That kind of price swing is not possible. He must know about places we can’t see on the Internet. It’s gotta be worth checking out one of these times.

      Reply
    • California Guy
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 11:45 am

      By the way, yeah that’s one of the books. So great isn’t it. I always wonder about these authors though. The pillage through peoples’ personal lives, maybe change their names, but then they put out the most damning information for the world to see. They probably have ruined a lot of lives with that approach. Factory Girls is another book that does that. Great books but wish they would be a little more careful with other peoples’ lives.

      Reply
    • matt
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:05 pm

      8000 dollars you will live for a year as an american, or 3 as a chinese.

      (depending on where you go).

      head to Dalian… a lot of opportunity there. shanghai is played out.

      Reply
      • California Guy
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:13 pm

        Yeah, I think Shanghai will be just for quick visits to hook up and see whats going on. Also, probably meet some business people there once in awhile. So if I can live as half Chinese then… 2 years? Haha!

        Reply
        • matt
          Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:25 pm

          yeah you should be fine.

          bring 5000 with you and open a checking account with Bank Of America before you leave. technically you are only supposed to bring 5000 cash with you on the plane… customs usually aren’t that bad though. I recommend setting up a temp job before you leave (like teaching english) because they will help you get the right visa that will allow you to stay in the country, and you will avoid having to go to HK to convert your travel visa into working visa… that is a different story. you need to prepare yourself for chinese red tape.

          if you get your visa stuff worked out, you need to find someone to help you get a bank account ASAP. you don’t wanna carry us dollars or leave them wherever you are… i would try either China Merchants bank or BOA(you can actually use BOA cards at China Merchant ATMs now… I think).

          Reply
          • Rick in China
            Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 6:46 pm

            Simplistic. “temp job” means you sign contract or no visa, sign contract means you require discharge after contract expires in order to get another real work visa in the country. No completion of contract = no discharge = fuck up future work potential in the country. Completion of work contract = what, a year? teaching english? way to bank in on the business opportunities. It’s a good start for a long term plan if you have no funds to get off the ground on, but CG is talking about how much of a fantastic entrepeneur and money maker he is, I don’t know he’d be willing to sign a 1 year contract with a potentially 1-multi month contract-breaking penalty in order to get a visa.

            Get a business visa. Lots of companies help you get one ‘gray market’ly. You’ll have to have cash to pop out to HK every once in a while to renew..so unless you start earning cash sooner than later, with your shoestring budget, may have problems.

          • matt
            Friday, April 3, 2009 at 9:45 am

            he can sign a 6 month non pro-rated contract and get a ticket and housing for nothing… that seems like a great start for someone who has 8000 dollars to his name (or so he says). what else is he going to do?

            he will teach 35 hours a week at most and have ample time to meet contacts and do business. as far as i know, he will still have to fly to hk in order to convert his business visa anyway. over a grand for the flight to china, and at least 700 for the trip to hk. i dont think it is wise of him to blow his wad on airline tickets and an apartment.

            sure get a business visa… he’ll have to leave in 3 months. waste of money.

    • Teacher in China
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 6:38 pm

      Hey dude I’ve been to Dali. Went about 3 years ago. Stayed in a beautiful hostel for really cheap (sorry I can’t remember the price now…) But yeah, it was a cool place, but I’d imagine now that it’s even more overrun with tourists and western backpackers. Might be a tough job finding anything there. But it’s a cool place to visit anyways.

      Reply
      • California Guy
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 8:12 pm

        Aha! So it’s true, haha, great! It seems like such a peaceful, chill place. And if the cost is really that low, beautiful. Be great to hang out and drink Snow Beers or whatever’s popular now, lol.

        Reply
      • matt
        Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 9:45 am

        You can go to dalian and be the first white person a chinese has ever seen. there are a lot of russians there, but not too many tourists.

        i got a massage there for 120 rmb, soooo sick.

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 2:05 pm

          What kind of massage? Haha, just kidding. That sounds great. It will be nice to enjoy the slower pace for awhile.

          Reply
          • matt
            Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 11:16 am

            no no no. i didn’t finish what i was writing. so 120 rmb, i was going to recommend you go there first. you can stay all night and sleep over, and you get a 2 hour massage + shower and locker for your stuff.

  33. The John
    Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    Hey Bro,

    You sound pretty reasonable. I just want to tell you to be careful. There are several dangers. Do you have a contact? I would love to have a chat with you. At least, I can give you some sound advice on some possible investment. As someone said before, business in China really is cut-throat and when it comes to outsiders, you need to be even more careful.

    This isn’t a place full of honorably perfect people. Granted, there are a LOT of good people. However, the bad ones you do encounter are smart.

    I had a friend I worked with on a project for 3 years. If you met him, you would swear he was the second coming of Jesus. I later found out that he was planning to screw me over for another partner.

    Some girls here have a lot of game. Especially in the developed cities. So, also watch yourself. Dating sites are not a good representation of the women here. I do have a sweet and nice girl. But, I also had to go through a few bad ones too.

    Remember to prepare well and be careful. I think if you talked to a few people before doing this, you may have a sound mind. I’d love to give you some good advice. Can you speak/read Chinese by the way?

    If you come here with the thinking that everyone and everything is honorable, sweet and perfect… You might get played. The mental games here (for some people) is on another level.

    With that said, there are plenty of great people in China. But, I think speaking Chinese allows you to get closer to meeting more of them.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 7:47 pm

      The kind of entrepreneuring I like to do is usually web development based. It doesn’t rely on the Chinese economy or the Chinese people very much. I like international business because it spreads the risk out.

      I doubt I will take on any partners, but I will consider it. In my experience, I prefer silent partners with no operational control. They just put in some funds (or labor) and get a piece of the action. I think that’s why I know how to get rich. I do business like Hollywood does. Every deal is a separate venture and it’s all about return on investment.

      My track record is good. I’ve never had an investor lose. The worst one I ever had, just broke even. Not bad, eh? Haha, yes, the temptation to get rich and be the aforementioned “Cockmaster” running around in Beijing is still there, it’s the bad boy part I’m trying to work on. :D I think some green tea and soothing music should get that crazy idea out of my mind, haha.

      As far as chatting is concerned, I’m open to chat with anyone who wants to chat with me. Especially the ladies… Alright, alright, there I go again. Sorry. :)

      Reply
      • Name
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 12:24 pm

        Web development in China in this economy without any connections? Bad idea in my opinion

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:18 pm

          I’ve got 100′s of connections in business. Not that many in china yet, but I will. Just because I’m starting over, doesn’t mean I erased my address book, lol. :)

          Reply
          • Mike Fish
            Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 11:30 am

            Cali Guy… even with the economy the way it is, China still presents many great opportunities for everyone. However, it is nowhere as easy to set up a business in China, especially as a foreigner, as it is in the US. You must work with local people and have local partners to be able to do anything. Media and telecom are some of the hardest areas for foreigners to make any in-roads in. Plan carefully and don’t think China and the Chinese are innocent and naive like your ideal of the US in the 1950s. China is very sophisticated, sometimes more so than many parts of the US, and there are plenty of people waiting to take advantage of those foreigners just off the boat. Good luck anyways.

          • matt
            Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 11:19 am

            mike…

            doing business in china is all bullshit. at the end of the day its about screwing others or getting screwed. keep everyone at an arms length (even the women).

  34. Mao's princess
    Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    You should have little problem finding a wife because you enjoy writing and talking…women like communicators.

    On making your next fortune? On that I shrug. I am still trying to earn my own money for artistic endeavors.

    If you’ve done it before, then why not?

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 7:48 pm

      Oh, I enjoy doing a lot more than that. :D

      Reply
      • Mao's princess
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 11:49 am

        But in order to have “more than that” you have to have good communication…

        Unless you are just looking for fun.

        But yeah, I see your point. That’s what’s wrong with most marriages. Women tend to feel the stomach and the kitchen are the two main parts/rooms of importance.

        I say the bedroom is the most important to staying happy.

        Maybe thats why you lack inner peace…you have failed recently to connect intimately with a woman the way you wish to.

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:21 pm

          Bingo. You are amazing. A very insightful person. It seems you just casually stroll over to the truth of a matter and it comes out like nothing. I like the way you think. Yes, intimacy is something I haven’t had for awhile, just been focusing on this life reset. Hope I can refocus and find balance, if I can avoid being too irritated by people like Ming, haha.

          Reply
  35. Benxin
    Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    Chinese girls are no better than the girls you met in LA.But they are cheaper, and that is a truth.So dude, stop having such a stupid fantasy of having a Chineses princess!

    Reply
    • okura
      Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 9:07 pm

      Benxin — on the fucking button!

      Nice one.

      Reply
    • California Guy
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 11:38 am

      Your comment is illogical. American girls are more materialistic than other countries girls. Why? It is simple logic. Because they can be. They’ve been spoiled like crazy. That’s why they are this way in the first place. You can believe what you want, but it might not be a bad idea to subject it to some logic.

      The Chinese value system still focuses on family as a priority. Of course there are exceptions, but generally speaking. As far as money is concerned, yes they call it, “safety”. But is that really just another word for the same thing? They all pretend to be sweet girls with family values, and they’re just waiting to fuck like whores for Prada? No, definitely bai fenzi bai no. They are definitely, fundamentally different.

      Reply
      • Name
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 12:19 pm

        People are all roughly about the same no matter where you are.

        Last time I talked to some Eastern Chinese college girls they all said they wanted an older guy with a good pay and a car. Their friends felt the same way. Parents are the same, I’ve heard lots of parents say I’m not gonna let my kid marry that person because their family doesn’t have money

        I’ve also know traditional conservative girls that went from no kissing the first few month of dating, no sex until marriage, my family have to approve when talking to average middle class guys to lets have sex now, I’ll get my friend to cover my shift today when they dated a rich guy

        For the most part people are people

        Reply
      • matt
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 12:46 pm

        have you ever been to china?

        chinese women are extremely materialistic. its the nature of the beast. it has more to do with what country they grew up in than their race.

        a lot of women are materialistic.

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:30 pm

          What about different provinces? Are Shanghai girls and Hefei girls equally materialistic? How about Dongguan girls? Come on guys… I’ve been talking to these girls for over a year now. Maybe I’m just randomly lucky? I only found 20% to be in it for the cash. In LA, it’s 90%.

          Reply
          • Rick in China
            Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 6:50 pm

            If you seriously think internet chatting will reveal so much about what the girl’s true intentions are, or whether you’re the only one they’re talking to, you’re absolutely clueless. Hasn’t life taught you anything, yet? Or do you still believe in santa?

          • ?!
            Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 10:32 am

            Haha, California Guy, you’re going to be in for a big surprise when you finally get to China.

  36. Ming
    Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    This cali guy piss me off, he treat Chinese women as object. Who the hell does he think he is. Lets do a human search engines on him, and post his detail on Chinese BBS FORUM. Tell everyone how easy this guy is so that the players from shanghai can leech off him until his money ran dry. Then he can drag his sorry ass back to LA where he belongs.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 4:01 am

      Wow, someone sounds a little bitter. Let me guess, your girl dumped you for an American guy? Haha, you really should learn to relax. :)

      Reply
      • Ming
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 5:57 am

        Unlike you cali, I am in a dedicated relationship for the past 3 years.

        Chinese male-female ratio is 100 to 120.

        If you are a white women, you are welcome, if you a white guy with no money to invest in the economy, then you should get the fuck out.

        More importantly, you are just player who went bankrupt, you do not deserve a “sweet chinese wife”. You deserve a hooker or a player.

        Reply
  37. California Guy
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 11:19 am

    Haha, don’t worry Ming. I will be very wealthy in the next year again. It is my Darwinian right because I am superior to you. When you swing for the fences, you will strike out more, but when you connect, you will knock it out of the park. That is all I know how to do, is swing for the fences. I’ve already got 2 new business ventures lined up that will have me were I need to be in less than a year.

    When I read comments from jackasses like you, it gets under my skin. You can’t make anything of your own life, so you just try to insult other people and pull them down. This is why it’s so difficult for me to give in to the pull of “normalcy”, have a small income like you and have you as a peer. I can’t do it. Maybe, it is the honorable thing to do. Maybe I need to learn to be more zen and ignore people like you. For now, I can’t.

    Yeah, I lost money, basically just because the economy. And truth be told, I dumped my last company when I didn’t need to. I wanted a change and I was irritated with the partner I had. Sales were down a lot and life was a bit crappy by my standards, everything was down and I just wanted to take a break from it all, reset. But crappy by my standards is still a fucking God by yours. I was still profiting 6 figures a year – USD. I will always have to be more powerful than morons like you so that I don’t have to listen to your stupid mouths.

    Based on the way I was feeling about it at the time, I let it all go. It was actually the smart thing, because I got rid of all my upside down assets. Now, I have the same skills, the same connections and I have a clean slate. What you think I can do now? Wait… why am I asking you, you’re an idiot, you wouldn’t know anyway.

    I guarantee you this: In less than 1 year, I will be a millionaire again. It’s not difficult. As far as being welcome in China, I’ve already been given welcome from people far greater than you. I don’t need your permission or your fucking approval.

    Reply
  38. Tom2
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    In general I read the posts, and disregard the off topic self indulging rants. While also the tit for tat insults between posters does get boring, and it would be good if the regular ranters could be blocked for a period of time. So with these two thoughts in mind, please excuse me when I go against them both.

    California Guy you really come across as being a first class wanker, and a dickhead.

    Reply
  39. okura
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    Well to be fair, Ming has a point and further you’ve managed to piss him off on a website through what on the face of it seems to be a somewhat simplistic approach to how you are going to change your life and personality by simply ‘swinging’ into China and helping yourself to what you want.

    I suspect once you get to China, with your attitude and outlook, you are going to come up against a lot more people who feel like Ming. And it’s not going to make for a pleasant or rewarding experience for you. If you have really done your homework I would have thought one of the first things you’d have worked out is that most Asians present themselves differently on a public and personal level (what the Japanese term tatemai and honne — sorry I don’t know what it is in China) but it typically amounts to keeping your real feelings inside and presenting a diplomatic public face in the interest of group harmony. I’ve seen this in China as much as Japan and you step outside this model at your own risk.

    I am not trying to insult you here but from my perspective and I guess Ming shares this you are coming across as the stereotypical arrogant, loud, flippant and ill informed American. This is a very long way from the Zen like state you profess to wish to achieve.

    I’d go back to your drawing board or actually get some practical experience of China and The Chinese before assuming you know how everything is there and how easy it is for you to just fit in and realise your dreams.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:55 pm

      Ok Okura. You make some good points. See that’s the difference between me and someone like Ming. Ming is jealous of my success that I had and that I will have. He feels irritated that there is a gender imbalance in China, and he also feels irritated that an American can walk in and scoop up as many girls as they want. I understand that.

      But the problem is that he lets these prejudices cause him to make blanket hurtful comments to others and not try to find any balance on the issue. Many of my statements have made a lot of sense, have been agreed with and are relatively balanced. You will not find that from people like Ming. He just sits on the fence and throws stones. If he could be balanced and fair, like Kai for instance, then I could respect his negative remarks. But you see, he doesn’t care about noticing a problem and trying to help someone. He just wants to tear someone down. That is the fundamental problem I have with people like that. The attitude of his heart is wrong. I have little tolerance for it. Life is what you make it. A defeatist, negative attitude will never make you successful.

      If you search the thread, you’ll see that I have had an open mind to most criticism and have even criticized myself quite a bit.

      If you say that all Chinese people are like Ming, I say bullshit. They just lie to your face to seem publicly acceptable while underneath they are seething in hatred? I know that is an over generalisation of your comment, which you probably didn’t mean. But I have to say, maybe these kinds of boards attract people like Ming. Maybe this is an inaccurate sample of the population as a whole. I don’t know.

      But look at the others. Look at The John, matt, USTCer, totochi, effez and Kai, among others. Most of these people all are like Ming? My God, if it’s true… that would really suck. But I don’t believe it for a minute. I’ve been watching this site for a long time, their personalities have shown themselves to be good. In fact, most of the people on this board are pretty balanced and good people. They try hard to present their points and usually respect others. Even you, okura, disagree intelligently and seem to have good intentions. I can respect that. It’s just that were I came from, everyone throws stones, no one wants you to succeed – not even your own family. They just sit, and throw stones. China is better than this, and Chinese people are better than this. I will not change my mind. I will seek good people and I will find them.

      Reply
      • okura
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 3:01 pm

        I agree that there are good people everywhere and with a little effort you can find them. I am not making a generalisation about people, I am stating a fact about cultural behaviours. The most important thing I learned was when an American (yay) in Japan told me ‘you can’t change the culture, if you can’t accept it go home’.

        You seem to be gearing up to coming to China with the assumptions that people will accept you for what you are because we are all the same, or if they don’t you’ll somehow manage to find people who will. I can tell you what will happen based on generalisations (and this is just my feeling so feel free to shoot me down).

        Southern China you’ll be fair game for all comers and they’ll make you feel like Prince Charming up until the point you’ve been thoroughly screwed over and have no further value. Northern China, you’ll be lucky if you get any more than fuck off and the door slammed in your face.

        Non of this because you are a bad person or that they are bad people more because you seem to be the kind of guy that if I invited you to play a game of rugby with my friends you’d be happy to take me up on it but you’d insist on playing Grid Iron. And you’d get 80 minutes of being wiped all over the park without your protective gear.

        Further your motivations for coming to China seem somewhat contradictory, hence my cutting and pasting your comments above (which you didn’t neatly side step — I think the whole crowd saw you dropped the ball and pretended you were doing something else). If you are coming to make another fortune this clearly conflicts with the notions of the simple honest life you profess to be seeking. If you are coming to make those character changes you hold so dear — surely these changes come from inside and can be made any where in the world, if you have a will to do so. Not simply by changing your location.

        I understand your comments about Ming and he may or may not be representative of the sorts of people who post on the internet and he may or may not have a grudge to bear. But I can see his point (which is shared by more people than you can imagine) and you are doing nothing more than giving him fuel for his fire.

        For now, that is a luxury you can afford because you are doing it via this medium. once you are there the boot will firmly be on the other foot.

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Monday, March 30, 2009 at 3:40 pm

          God, another freaking genius. First of all, I was forthcoming about being torn about the pursuit of money and power versus the pursuit of the simple life with a different set of priorities. I’ve already stated to the world that this is my current challenge. So to see me toggle back and forth a little, is to see the internal struggle I’m dealing with, not to find a big expose.

          Now let’s look at your logic FAIL. According to you, EVERYONE in southern China will use me until I am completely devoid of resource and EVERYONE in Northen China will slam the door in my face. What are the statistical probabilities of that occurring? You know, based on actual proven sociological models…

          In truth, this is what you want to happen. Because, in your heart, you also have negative energy. You are part of “Ming’s China”. Obviously, that’s why you’ve been riding his jock this whole time. Ok, I can deal with that. There are plenty of Chinese people who see it more closely to the way I do. You are in a very small minority of the Chinese people I know.

          I know, my subject matter comes at a difficult time in China’s history. Many people are stressed watching the emergence of the new middle class and the newly rich. The gap between rich and poor is getting bigger. In another 50 years, there won’t be so much angst probably. So that probably makes my story a more sensitive issue for Chinese. Perhaps I could have told my story without using the actual numbers, but I didn’t think I needed to shield it from you.

          Anyway, your predictions are a reflection of your desire and your desire is a reflection of the darkness in your heart. You know, when we’re learning about success, we hear, “beware the naysayers, there will always be negative people who will tell you that you can’t do it, it can’t be done, you’re going to fail”. Who do you think those people are? You, it’s people like you. The reason people like me succeed, and if need be (after some foolish spending, haha), succeed again. The biggest reason? We don’t listen to people like you.

          Reply
          • okura
            Monday, March 30, 2009 at 4:49 pm

            ‘My friend thinks I’m crazy because he values only money and I can make that again quickly here. He doesn’t understand what I truly am searching for. Inner peace, sweetness. A certain zen oneness and simplicity of life.’

            I don’t see anything in the above comment nor in any other to suggest you are having an internal struggle with where you should be at. Other than whether you’ll be able to keep your cock in your pants and treat the women with respect or be spending most of your free time down in Maggie’s lining them up.

            Your mind seems to be made up. But much of what you say contradicts.

            I didn’t use logic but the concept of hyperbole is something you might try to understand.

            ‘I know, my subject matter comes at a difficult time in China’s history. Many people are stressed watching the emergence of the new middle class and the newly rich. The gap between rich and poor is getting bigger. In another 50 years, there won’t be so much angst probably. So that probably makes my story a more sensitive issue for Chinese.’

            I’d rephrase that to ‘I know my subject matter is insignificant at this time in China’s history…’ But obviously you feel differently.

            ‘God, another freaking genius.’

            I never said I was. But thank you. You know you put your trite life story up here for all to read and as soon as someone questions, challenges, offers and opposing opinion or contrary view point or whether rightly or wrongly takes offence you start to throw your toys out of the pram.

            You don’t know me from Adam so to start making assumptions about my motivations and the condition of my ‘heart’ just because you don’t like what I have said says volumes more about your character than what I have said says about mine.

            Whatever you do, I hope it works out for you and you prove me wrong about everything.

          • okura
            Monday, March 30, 2009 at 5:42 pm

            While I’m at it and as you delight in quoting wisdom here’s one for you although do feel free to disregard it as it is French and not Chinese and therefore of inferior wisdom.

            To your

            ‘ desire is a reflection of the darkness in your heart’

            I might add

            ‘we do not see things as they are, we see them as we are’.

          • California Guy
            Monday, March 30, 2009 at 8:42 pm

            okura, you don’t see the struggle I’m going back and forth with in a single sentence you quoted? Oh my! How could it be? Well, then you must be correct then! After all, on this entire thread I only posted one sentence, so there is nothing else for you to draw from. My bad. I was under the crazy idea that I had already posted 10,000 freaking words about my situation, exposing very clearly my thinking and how I’m struggling to change my lifestyle.

            Oh and congratulations for knowing the word, “hyperbole”, now I’m sure you’re a genius. I didn’t question your mental acuity based on “challenges and opposing opinions”. Those are fine. Start at the top and read the thread again. You will see my responses to quite a few “challenges and opposing opinions”. The only ones that get Das Boot are the ones that are ignorant, devoid of logic or pull a single sentence out of context to create a ridiculous stereotype that you want to promolgate. “Promolgate”, there’s another fancy word for you. You can add that “hyperbole” and you’re on your way to lingual greatness.

  40. innocent bystander
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    Perhaps he won’t have so much inner turmoil to release once he reaches China and finds his match.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 4:15 pm

      Thank you. Actually I think this too. A good woman will balance water with fire and I can finally relax. Why can’t people understand so easily like you?

      Reply
      • innocent bystander
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 5:41 pm

        Environment influences how people behave. I have been in many different environments and noticed how certain men and types bring out the bad in me.

        Ignorance and narrowmindedness annoy me. So does constant power posturing of people who would be better off spending the time on self improvement rather than their destructive power posturing.

        My grandfather taught me a lot by example. He has a powerful presence without using intimidation. He keeps in control of a situation by failing to let others unravel him. He reads much, is largely self-taught, and is going to live forever.

        He’s like you in that he recreates his fortune. In a time where most people are lucky to have one place that isn’t being foreclosed, he owns about 6-7 houses.

        When he is a landlord, he helps the working class by including electric and water in the rent.

        I am very excited about my first book because I want to be the second member of my family to be “self-made.”

        Reply
        • California Guy
          Monday, March 30, 2009 at 8:53 pm

          Haha, good luck to you. Don’t ask for any encouragement from the naysayers who can’t accomplish anything except tearing others down, *cough cough* Ming *cough cough* Take it from someone who knows how to do it. You can reach as high as you want, you create the world you want. Just make sure you surround yourself with positive people. Negative people are toxic. Good luck, you can do it!

          Reply
  41. Ming
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    “Haha, don’t worry Ming. I will be very wealthy in the next year again. It is my Darwinian right because I am superior to you. ”

    I am glad in a few short posts I manage to draw the true nature of this guy.

    Obviously, cali guy thinks that being white give him special privileges. Unfortunately for him, with his arrogant attitude, and virtually zero connections, he is going to be play by players.

    Like I said, the moment he start ranting about his life, I can pretty much read his cards. He is going to be squeeze dry, the same way he was squeeze when he was in LA.

    And I am giving the benefit that he actually is who he said he is.

    But dont be down by my comment cali guy. And please continue to plan to go to China. I would love to see you experience agony of zero connection in China’s business world. In China, the scariest entity is not the communist party, it is the Chinese people.

    Reply
    • okura
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 2:38 pm

      Ming I don’t think he knows if he is who he actually says he is.

      Reply
    • Cailfornia Guy
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm

      It’s amusing how you think my comment about being superior to you is based on my race. Talk about someone’s true colors coming out. You are a racist and you hate white people, that’s probably what this is all about isn’t it? The reason I said that I’m superior to you is because I have a superior attitude. I’m not a negative person like you. I attract success to my life. Even if I make some mistakes and blow it, I attract success again. I will learn from my mistakes and I will keep attracting success and blowing it less. That’s how it works.

      About pulling out my true nature, all you’ve done, you jackass, is to pull out my anger. Everyone has anger. So yes, if you’d like to look at it that way, then yes, it is part of my true nature. And you, you genious, you pulled it out like a brilliant psychologist. God, you are such a simpleton.

      About the scariest entity being the Chinese people, what does that say about your country? I don’t believe it. Asian countries have an honor ethos that goes beyond money. The more I read your comments, the more I think you are not Chinese. Currently I have about 120 Chinese people in my life. I’ve dated them, been friends with them and done business with them. I am well satisfied with their character as a whole.

      The more I think about it. Maybe your right. In a compartmentalized way. Maybe your China is sick and full of vile people. But that is different from “”my China”". Now, how is that possible? Because your experience of China is a result of the people in your life. You are such a negative person, you likely attract similar people. Therefore, your peer circle is full of negative people and it makes my ideal look naive.

      However, my life attracts people of like mind. Good Chinese people. People who believe in love, goodness, honor and virtue. These are my Chinese peers. So you see, we can be in the same country and yet be living in 2 completely separate Chinas. It’s all a matter of the life you build. I understand it now. So I guess you’re being sincere. You really believe what you say, because that is your reality. Then, I can’t fault you for it anymore, and I apologize for insulting you.

      Reply
    • Mike Fish
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 6:16 pm

      I don’t think he is your regular native-born white dude. Am I right Cali Guy?

      Reply
      • California Guy
        Monday, March 30, 2009 at 7:50 pm

        Yeah, I’m pretty native. Just a normal, non-white-supremacist guy, haha. Just trying to avoid the lynch mob our xenophobic friend with the pitchfork is trying to stir up, lol.

        Reply
  42. California Guy
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    When I was in high school, I wrote a poem about how peoples’ perspectives affect their realities. It’s pretty interesting. I still believe it. Here is the poem as I remember it…

    “Painting blue, translucent hue, they couldn’t see the world they’d painted; true,

    But they rationalized with their thoughtful eyes and continued painting blue

    So running fast, I further ran, until I came to that new found land

    And through opening eyes, there saw I, that the race we run is in the heart.”

    Anyway, hope someone out there enjoyed that little poem.

    Reply
    • M.P.
      Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 11:26 pm

      An elusive poem about a woman who dared to paint in blue. Red, it could be argued, would have been a bolder color.

      I tend to want to meld blue and red of all shades in one pot…force Emma Goldman and Ayn Rand to verbally spar while I mediate…ask Buffet who is favorite Communist dictator is…and give Mao a shot at being a capitalist pig.

      If you would like to critique some of my work, check out

      http://jesse_evalin.livejournal.com

      But that is just one of my skills…I have many more.

      Though I am warning you most of them don’t involve physical sporting events. Unless jogging and pilates in nature counts.

      Reply
  43. effez
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    Sigh… sometimes it’s people like Ming who really give chinese dudes like me a bad name. Mind you, I’m actually what they call a Baba & Nyonya Chinese with a warped American accent (too much GI Joe & Robotech in the good ol’ Good Commie = Dead Commie 80′s).

    Here in Australia, there are plenty of inter-ethnic relationships especially the White Male/ Asian female type which send people like ming into a stir. Do I feel resentment? No, because remember it’s really how you look at yourself. I’m confident that I’ll eventually find the right person, so why should I freaking worry about this “caucasian race stealing our women” bullcrap.

    Problem is Ming, you’ve been raised with the “Chinese
    are one people” thinking. Where if One Chinese Woman rejects you for a Caucasian, its an insult on the whole chinese race. Get a grip man, that sort of mentality won’t get you anywhere. In fact it’s this mentality that does the Chinese people disservice by potraying them as “insecure groupies who have no indipendent thought”.

    You see Ming, I don’t have any issue with Calif guy because I believe every individual is responsible for his/her future.

    Being a Malaysian of Chinese ethnicity, I can tell you there’s a hell of a lot of discrimination being in a minority. But do you think I’m just gonna sit down and wail. Hell no! Instead of depending on spoonfed mainstream education I took up my spare time with National Geographic, Time & newsweek (bless my mum who’s a geography teacher). In the end I would say my Chinese suffered but in return, my English would beat a born and bred Aussie flat. Needless to say this got me a lot of wierd stares and comments like “snobby imperialist supporter” in HighSchool. Do you think I gave a flying f*ck? Hell no and I’ll tell you why, I’m first and foremost an individual who can think for myself and I’m responsible for my own future. Those people with the snide comments (most of them were actually from the same ethnic group as I am btw)? Well, as far as I care they can Toss Mao’s Salad.

    Now being mid-20′s where am I? Well, I can say that I’m doing pretty darn well comapred to 90% of my fellow Malaysians. Sure,I’m still pretty middle class in Australia, but my view of life has rewarded me with a decent salary, 70% equity on my apartment and a fast track to management which by the way are mostly white. But do you think I care? No! Since most of those Managers view me first and foremost as an individual! In fact I’m more likely to be denied a promotion if my manager was from the mainland since I more likely to be judged on my “Pureness of chinese blood” or my Mandarin “accent”, or even my connections to the Party…

    So Ming pray tell, where are you at now? If you’re still an angry little fengqing, I’ll give you piece of advice for your own good. Start looking at yourself as an individual and try getting along with people even if you don’t agree with them sometimes. It’ll do your life a whole lot of good.

    I’m glad to know that there are individuals in China like Kai who can always present a balanced view without descending into a mudslinging contest. It does give me a small glimmer of hope that eventually China will be a better place in time to come.

    Kai, Calif dude, if you ever do get down to sydney, do give me a yell, I’ll treat you guys to some local grog and cuisine… which is probably borrowed from everywhere else really….

    Reply
  44. Ming
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    The qing dynasty suck up to the white after the opium war. What happen? They return with an 8 nation alliances.

    I dont believe the 1 chinese represent all crap. I believe that all chinese should defend the state. It is people who are bound to keep things together that civilization such as China, India, and Iran still exist today.

    Compare to Roman, or ancient Egyptians, there race or their culture is largely faded away.

    More importantly, this cali guy is no regular respectful human being. His story rant is base on the theme, that he is broke and now search for a new life in China and find a nice chinese wife and find a new living goal. And yet, he describe Chinese women as submissive objects at best, ethnic slaves at worst. This is not normal. Would a Chinese engineer say he wanted to go the US, and find a nice white women who will make spaghetti when he got home? Such sexist discrimination is largely unwelcome in most part of the modern world.

    I find cali rant to be largely fictional, and definitely lacking of respect towards other culture.

    More importantly, his career goal is highly unrealistic, which lead me to the conclusion that he is basically trying to make a troll rant with the central theme of white supremacist. Why should we allow that on Chinasmack?

    And effez, why should white people and western media have the right to poke fun at minorities and other culture, meanwhile the same cannot be done in vise versa? Are you a follower or a leader effez? Are you so insecure that when white people say things, you wont challege their ideas?

    I am Chinese, and I think for whats best for Chinese interests. According to cali guy story, he have no economic contribution to China, and he got a sick supremacist attitude, therefore I logically believe that this kind of foreign workers are not welcome. Now compare this guy with Henry Kissinger and we can see a huge contrast.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 7:35 pm

      Wow, you are seriously fucked. I said I want someone sweet to have dinner with and I’m a white supremacist? People like you made the Cultural Revolution the wonderful experience it was. So quick to call someone the most hideous name for nothing. Just because you are insecure. Where did I ever imply Chinese women as slaves?

      This is what we call projecting. You have an idea in your mind, probably from a movie or a traumatic experience you once had. Then, you decide basically all white guys are a certain way. Then you keep it bottled up, waiting for someone to dump this crap on. As soon as you find someone you pin this on, then it’s off to the races. God, you are one sick fuck. All my comments are here for the world to see. Where is the white supremicism? Where is the advocation of female slave trading? Haha, you have an ugly girlfriend that has to be it, haha. Or your mom didn’t breast feed you. Something is seriously fucked in your head. Didn’t they tell you? “”Don’t drink the milk”"?

      Ok, I admit I am a supremicist, but not a white supremacist. I am a dumbass supremacist. I am supreme over dumbasses like you. Get a grip. You sound more like a troll than anyone. And you sir, are very Xenophobic.

      Reply
    • Mike Fish
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 8:41 pm

      Roman culture faded away??? Ha, that’s funny… you writing with the Roman alphabet in a language now about 50% Latinized, living according to a mostly Roman calendar, in a world dominated by economic and government systems similar if not nearly identical to ones created by the Romans, etc. etc.. Learn some history Ming!

      Reply
  45. effez
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    Ming: “I dont believe the 1 chinese represent all crap. I believe that all chinese should defend the state. It is people who are bound to keep things together that civilization such as China, India, and Iran still exist today.”

    First of all I never saw what Calif Guy is planning to do as an attack on the Chinese State. In fact sometimes I think the mainland Chinese are The mainland’s greatest enemies.

    Secondly, I do not have any obligation in defending China against the preceived western devils because 1) The mainland Chinese never considered the Nanyang Chinese worthy of extending any help to. Take May 13 1969 Racial Riots for example. China kept quiet when the Malay majority decided to teach the Malaysian Chinese a lesson for upsseting their 2/3 parliamentary majority. And let’s not even go back to WWII. 2)My ancestors split from the Mainland 200 years ago. We might have come from a similar spot, but then that’s where our cultures diverge. I on the other hand live in a borderless world. I will fight for my right and only mine. The reson why I seem to agree with western principles is because the reflect my belief as an individual. So I’m not buying into the defiending China because of my genetic history crap. In fact why not take up arms for Zimbabwe or Sudan, since Africa is is humanity’s cradle?

    And when you speak about civilisation, I doubt having warring states left and right and an emperor who would probably wipe out an entire village for a percieved insult as a civilised nation. I wouldn’t call the actions of a man who killed intellectuals for the sake of some Farming revolution as civillised either.

    I’d rather live in a culture that constantly evovles and progresses, discarding what is bad and keeping what is good. You on the otherhand are just desperately clinging on to whatever that can be percieved as “”Chinese culture”" be it good or bad. And that’s where you fail.

    Ming: “More importantly, this cali guy is no regular respectful human being. His story rant is base on the theme, that he is broke and now search for a new life in China and find a nice chinese wife and find a new living goal. And yet, he describe Chinese women as submissive objects at best, ethnic slaves at worst. This is not normal. Would a Chinese engineer say he wanted to go the US, and find a nice white women who will make spaghetti when he got home? Such sexist discrimination is largely unwelcome in most part of the modern world.

    I find cali rant to be largely fictional, and definitely lacking of respect towards other culture. ”

    Personally I don’t find anything wrong with cali’s view on women. I personally find that the large portion of women that I’ve met (both Local & Overseas Asians and Caucasians) have mostly been interested in my Residency Visa (for non-residents) and my assets (everyone else included) more than anything else. So I don’t see why it’s entirely Calif’s fault that Asian women (or even Caucasian) would flock to him in droves. It’s just inbuilt into women that they need a partner that has the financial resources to support the Family unit.
    Given half the chance if I were in China, I would probably attract quite a lot of attention as well. I would like a relatively “”grounded”" woman (in your language: submissive) as a woman who’s too outgoing will wear me out. So really, I don’t see the need for you to be so peeved about his comments about Chinese women as from what I observe is correct in many cases. Plus, I’m sure Calif dude doesn’t have an issue with Asian guys dating white women. I did, back in Uni. She was a great girl who was crazy about anime, just that she has body weight control issues, and after I moved from Melbourne to Sydney, it gave me an opportunitty to make a fresh start. It’s really your unwillingness to see other women as an option with drives you to such deperation.

    “More importantly, his career goal is highly unrealistic, which lead me to the conclusion that he is basically trying to make a troll rant with the central theme of white supremacist. Why should we allow that on Chinasmack?”

    What’s so unrealistic about having such aspirations? Australia has so many rags to riches stories, be it Asian, Arab, Indian or Caucasian. It doesn’t make any sense to say such aspirations are unrealistic. That’s just your evil eye at work there Ming. I’ve been told many times to stop dreaming on making it big. But you know what? I’m halfway there….

    “And effez, why should white people and western media have the right to poke fun at minorities and other culture, meanwhile the same cannot be done in vise versa? Are you a follower or a leader effez? Are you so insecure that when white people say things, you wont challege their ideas?”

    I admit that there are quite a few rednecks out there who are hell bent on proving that the Chinese are an inferior race. However I beleive that the majority of the Western world would rather see a responsible and enlightened China take to the world stage rather than the China in it’s current form now.

    I would rather have a paper which can discuss and criticize a group of people to tell them to wake up and smell the coffee rather than one who writes off and condemn a minority as “”cowardly dogs”" or “”terrorist insurgents”". Do that here in the West and you’ll have a major anti-discrimination lawsuit on your hands. Oh and mainlanders calling people like me “”race Traitor”" doesn’t reflect them in any better light either.

    I will challenge what I think is wrong to my beleifs. Do not mince my words there… It’s just at this current stage, the belief I am brought up with and have decided to adopt aligns closer to the west. However the day Calif Dude or other westerners who belts out a redneck statement I will not hesitate to point out my view. The majority of the mainland chinese on the other hand as I find, would rather group up and howl me down.

    “I am Chinese, and I think for whats best for Chinese interests. According to cali guy story, he have no economic contribution to China, and he got a sick supremacist attitude, therefore I logically believe that this kind of foreign workers are not welcome. Now compare this guy with Henry Kissinger and we can see a huge contrast.”

    I am an firstly an individual and also a Nanyang Chinese and an Australian. And I would think what’s best for my interests. However as we’re humans I would think it would be your best interest that you open up yourself to other peoples viewpoint instead of using “”Us versus them”" mentality. Mainlanders with your thinking are not contributing to the world stability either and are usually never welcome in australia. However, due to our people’s good grace we will treat you respectfully as a guest if you ever set foot here. Just don’t test our patience and the law or you’ll be on the first plane out of here.

    Reply
  46. California Guy
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    Thanks effez. You know, as much as Ming irritates the Hell out of me for being so xenophobic. I don’t hate him. This is the most extreme white hating I’ve ever seen from a Chinese person. It’s a real eye opener. as a mattter of fact, it may be the most supreme white hating I’ve ever seen personally from anyone. Wow, I just realised that.

    I think I will learn from Ming’s personality traits how to spot this kind of person in the future and avoid them. I think I have a way. I’ll just say something horribly offensive and supremacist like, “”I think Chinese are great people. I hope I can meet a sweet Chinese girl someday and get married.”" If that doesn’t set them off, they may be a normal person, haha. Just to be sure, I should pull out the secret weapon sentence: “”It sure would be nice to have dinner with a nice Chinese girl and just enjoy a simple life together”". That should send someone like Ming into a frenzy immediately. I mean to think! “”Dinner!!! Oh my God, the audacity of this White Supremacist.”"
    Haha, anyone else normal have some input on this?

    Reply
    • effez
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 7:58 pm

      lol. no worries. Yeah, well I do have reason to dislike people like Ming, but at the same time I do feel pity and regret over the fact that irresponsible governments and leaders can actually condition people to such ignorance.

      Lol, funny how you actually phrased your litmus test. The Malaysian equivalent of what I would (jokingly) do to test if it was that was was to wear a T-shirt with a stick figure and an arrow pointing towards it with the name “”Muhammad”". And see if one would go skitz over it.

      Either ways you should get a blog to keep us posted. I sure could use some advice if I ever got to china.

      Reply
  47. Ming
    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    Effez, if you dont feel your nationality or loyalty is chinese, then obviously, you can not speak for chinese at all now would you?

    1)Malaysia is not part of China, and back then China was weak military.

    2)If you consider yourself Malaysian, then I dont see why we even have to defend you at all. Obviously you are less focus on global chinese interest, more for personal gain.

    3)Comparing Chinese civilization with the waring state is cherry picking. The same can be said for every other civilization out there.

    4)I found absolutely something is wrong with cali guy, as he rants put asian women and chinese women as submissive objects that fit the western media stereotype. If you do not find these bias stereotype wrong, then something is wrong with you. When you date white women, do u put so much focus that you treat her as a trophy girl?

    5)His story is unrealistic. Why do you keep comparing australia to China? Do you see me compare the UK to China? Business in China require connection and people networks. His story is trying to start a business in China, not austrilia, not UK, not US, China. He even said it himself, he got no connection in China. Your assumption that anything can happen might as well apply to me winning the lottery tomolo.

    6)If austrilia is the only white country you have settle, then you have not seen enough. The US and the EU would gladly take turn bashing China on internal affairs. Nobody question their own skeletons, such as the native american, the brask population, the aborignal people. etc Western media is bias, and how much people dig into these propaganda depends on the country. The US have a really dump population, when compare to the EU. The EU is a little smarter and question more, but they are still bias. Thats my personal experience.

    7)I think you are the one who need to open up to this world and actually see whats really going on. As I have post earlier, Cali guy and his racist comments has prove that he is no henry kissinger. I do not hate all white people, but I found it retarded to welcome white supremacist such as cali guy into China. He is jobless, and can make no contribution to the Chinese economy.

    Reply
    • matt
      Monday, March 30, 2009 at 10:43 pm

      he can obviously make a contribution to the chinese economy about 52000 RMB.

      ming, you seem think that because you are under the impression that now because it is chinas time to shine, China should be able to do whatever it wants. When someone questions you on this new imperialism, you say ohhh, well your country did blah blah blah. such bullshit.

      Speaking of treating women like possessions, isnt that what your country has a notorious history of doing? raise the red lantern ming

      IMO the least caliguy can do is bring a girl back to the US where she has a shot and breaking through to the Bourgeoisie. You want to control who a woman can date while complaining that caliguy is treating women like possessions real logical

      Reply
    • Teacher in China
      Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 9:49 pm

      Ming
      I have to address #6, because I’m getting sick of hearing this all the time. People in Chine tout that “Western media is biased” card like it’s some big revelation or something.
      1) of course it’s biased. we all know it’s biased. every single person in the western world knows that every single newspaper, every single tv station, every single website (etc etc) has their own agenda, and will distort the facts in whatever way they see fit in order to fit that agenda, to please it’s advertisers and owners, and thus earn money. We may not all know this on a conscious level, but everyone has “their newspaper” or “their tv station” which they constantly go to because it reaffirms things that they already think. Everyone thinks the “other” newspaper or tv station or whatever distorts the facts. So, you’re not telling us anything we don’t know.

      2) Yes, they’re all biased, but they all have diverse points of view. To cover all western media with a blanket statement like “they all hate China!” makes you sound like an insecure child.

      3) When you (and other Chinese people I’ve heard this from) make statements about how our media is biased, it sounds a lot like the pot calling the kettle black. As far as what I can see, your media is just as, if not more, biased as ours is.

      Just remember – every media outlet needs to make money from advertisers. If the advertisers don’t like the things you’re saying, they’ll pull out and you’ll lose money. If your media is state-owned (regardless of what country you’re in) then you have to tow the party line, more or less. All media in all countries are flawed.

      Reply
  48. totochi
    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 3:11 am

    @Ming
    I disagree. Almost all the local Chinese people I’ve met in China are very nice. It’s the CCP and 憤青 retards like you that I hate.

    @effez
    Not sure if I post here enough for you to know my views. I’ve never been to Australia but I appreciate the offer.

    @CG
    I opened an account at a Bank of China branch in Chengdu and was able to wire money to myself from the US. There’s a US$50k limit for currency conversion per person per year; they track it by your passport number. Per BofA’s website, you can use China Construction Bank ATM’s for free but I wasn’t able to get it to work. Finally, you should be able to get a one-year multiple-entry L (tourists visa) without any problems but they’re only good for 60 days at a time. You will need to exit China and come back every 60 days. Eventually you will need to get an F-visa or a Z-visa before China border control gets suspicious.

    Reply
    • California Guy
      Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 2:20 pm

      Thanks a bunch totochi! This is useful info. I always wondered about that whole leaving every 60 days thing. Thanks. Maybe I should start a blog one of these times. It seems my story (for better or worse, haha) has got people commenting. I think this is one of the most popular threads on ChinaSmack now. I know some of the skeptics are waiting for the other shoe to drop and expose me as a troll trying to sell expensive facial creams or whatever. Haha, some people will always be skeptical.

      Reply
      • matt
        Friday, April 3, 2009 at 10:02 am

        yeah CCB not china merchants. sorry.

        surprisingly i’ve noticed that bank to bank interaction between the US and China is somewhat limited. maybe you should investigate that CG.

        Reply
  49. okura
    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 8:33 am

    A test and nothing more than trying to get to the end of the thread.

    Reply
  50. Capt. Absurdity
    Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 10:25 am

    SVIT.

    This thread still going on. The world is doomed with you mofo’s reproducing. End of story.

    You peeps are like a world version of this svit right here:

    Reply
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