Chinese Woman Juggles Tofu Like A Football In Market

From NetEase:

Magical Market Auntie: Juggles Tofu Like A Ball

The vegetable market is truly a crouching tiger, hidden dragon place, where even a tofu-selling old auntie is a football [soccer] expert, able to juggle tofu like a ball. The old auntie says: “There’s not much difference between juggling tofu and juggling balls”:

[translation of the Chinese subtitles in the video:]

Come! Come!
Everyone come watch ayi [auntie] juggle tofu!
When juggling, you must be delicate, the entire body relaxed.
Just like boxing
you have to be clever/precise.
Take it easy.
Juggling tofu is the same as juggling a ball.
Look, controlling the ball is a piece of cake.
I’m not trying to brag…
but if I were a man,
the World Football MVP would definitely be me.

On YouTube (faster loading for visitors outside China):

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Comments from NetEase:

NBTV:

If I were able to juggle like this…I would have saved the Chinese football team long ago…

w1g3:

Such hard tofu, I wouldn’t buy it.

菊有精神:

This is an advertisement, right? Computer-generated special effects!!!

shanghaiseag:

Pretty well made…just the speed was not adjusted well…so it is still very easy to make out that it is fake when watching it…

韩萨慕:

At the beginning, [I] thought it was fake, but then felt it is real!

xhsw3799:

China football is completely hopeless, not even better than an old auntie who sells tofu. Sigh~~

qifei1985111:

Saw this while getting soy sauce.

訫dě方向:

Temporary glance.

137624260:

Didn’t the final kick break the tofu? What was juggled was real tofu, those who can’t do it don’t be bitter/jealous.

meiweihaixia:

Truly impressive…

[I] admire you so much…

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Looking for an old auntie who can juggle tofu? Try the chinaSMACK personals!

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22 Comments

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  1. Such a clown. Any vids of ‘Jiggling Tofu’ instead?

  2. It’s on a wire. Fools.

  3. My vote’s on viral marketing.

    6 months from now some dumb AirBud meets Madea’s Family Reunion movie will come out starring a sass-talking grandma who leads the Chinese national team to the world cup. She’ll start out as their personal chef, but then one day the players see her juggling tofu! Then, due to some unforeseen injuries she has to start the game. And what do you know, she scores the winning goal.

  4. What she’s juggling is not a tofu, but… Oh, well, it is fake anyway. And, Fauna, there’s no aunties with ability to juggle tofu on Personals… Sigh!

  5. Ha ha, that was kinda brilliant!

  6. So Fauna, no ideas how to make the chinasmack personals a little bit risque today? Here’s some ideas:
    1. Looking for an old auntie who can juggle your tofu? Try the chinaSMACK personals!

    2. Looking for an old auntie who can juggle man-tofu? Try the chinaSMACK personals!

    3. Looking for an old auntie who can juggle tofu in her mouth? Try the chinaSMACK personals!

    No need to thanks me.
    250 out

  7. 250… in Chinese “I like to eat tofu” means I like the jiggling yummy white fleshy parts of girls… tofu is T&A. I’m a vegetarian and love the fact I get to tell so many cute waitresses that as a vegetarian I not only like to eat tofu, I love to eat tofu, and I do it almost everyday.

    • Ok in that case. A few minor changes here, a few minor changes there…and we get:

      Looking for an old auntie who can juggle her tofu on your face? Try the chinaSMACK personals!

      Da-daaa!

  8. that tofu animation is done poorly…

  9. aiya!!!!!!!!
    so fake…so fuckin’ fake!! ha ha ha.
    the distance and speed of the tumbling tofu is not accurate to real time. even the translations are inaccurate. Auntie may not be a good footballer…but she is definitely a great mime! a great mime for the digital animator who added the acrobatic tofu after her performance…

  10. These tofu are so strong that you can use them as bricks…. wait…. I think they did!

  11. To be fair, the guy putting the vfx in has to make the tofu rise and fall at some rate that corresponds to the ayi’s movements.

    Yeah it sucks, but I don’t think it’s all the dfx person’s fault.

  12. Cool video!An orange would have been more believable than tofu though. :)

  13. Looks like 2012 might be for real since the gravity in that part of China is messed up.

  14. Ah, so that’s how stinky tofu is made.

  15. Anyone with eyes will see that’s fake.

  16. awesome and cool “mor tafu lady”

  17. It reminded me of Kung-Fu Hustle effects… LOL
    Obviously fake XD

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