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Neighbor Kept Awake By Sexual Noises, Posts Public Letter

by on Wednesday, October 6, 2010 43 comments comments

From Mop:

The public notice I discovered in front of my building entrance. After reading, I felt ashamed!

A letter from one Chinese neighbor to another concerning the amount of noise being made during sex at night.

[Translation of the above letter:]

Dear neighbor:

I really have no choice but to write this letter to you guys.

Last night you guys “doing it”. Your girlfriend’s screaming in bed is seriously too loud. From start to finish, the entire building could hear. That sound was essentially wailing, like a banshee!!! You guys are young and are full of energy so I do not blame you.

But can you guys have a little civic consideration, and consider the surrounding neighbors that include the elderly and children who are harshly awakened from their dreams by the sounds of your guys’ “screaming”, forced to listen to your guys’ live broadcast, and only when you guys are done with your business can we finally go to sleep with you guys. [This] seriously affects [our] quality of sleep.

Hope you guys can consider the circumstances. This building is small. The next time we walk past each other, we too will feel embarrassed seeing you. Thanks!

- Neighbor

2010-9-30

How would you feel if this was pasted to the front of your home entrance?

Comments from Mop:

柠檬薄荷糖:

Haha! Hilarious!

毛毛虫的眼泪:

I rent an apartment, on the 7th floor. The young couple next door often starts doing it after 8pm in the evening. That sound: ah…ah…ah…keep doing it…jia you…”bang”…you’re useless!!! LOL…

任情飘:

Fuck, this man is really beastly.

Maple妖猪:

I didn’t mean to. My mistake…next time [we'll] be quieter…

壹条死鱼:

We’ve encountered this before too…middle of the night, not a single sound. [Suddenly] from next door comes a sound of ecstasy.
Everyone in our two buildings heard it very clearly…

wwdlyx:

This neighbor is a pervert. Unhappy with other people having fun.

reneeyi:

Uh…I’ve been told [similarly] before…except verbally [instead of through a letter/note]…
Also once…someone directly charged to our door…fiercely kicking the door…that poor door of mine~

国产歼轰7:

Reply: My dear neighbor, who said that I was “doing it” with my girlfriend last night? I was with my old lady celebrating our golden [50-year] anniversary!

悲剧牛:

One should be low-key as a person, but one should be high-key [ostentatious] when taking care of business [here, having sex], this is the key. [Make it so that] they can hear people screaming but can never know just who exactly is screaming.

你别想溜:

When in one’s own home XX, who cares what other people think… Envy or jealousy? Maybe [the neighbor] is looking down at his own brother [penis], feeling inadequate? A neighbor that has nothing better to do.

Disturb your neighbors. chinaSMACK personals.

  • travismurphy

    aaahh 2nd again.. one day..

  • Zebadee

    My neighbour’s bathroom window is only a few feet away from mine and my restful and meditative bubbly-bath after a hard day at the office is always disturbed by their screams of ecstasy.

    I hate being single …

  • Rafael

    Chinese buildings have so thin walls…

    • Name (required)

      So does the American complex. The wall is as thin as a paper.

      • Joe

        American walls are paper.

  • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

    I call bullshit. Sure, people have sex, sex (the best kind) is often loud, and China is one cramped place where this type of thing happens often (as the comments on Mop and here will indicate).

    The marble surface behind the letter and the deep groove in the middle indicate that this letter is stuck on a wall. Are we to believe that the LZ, who is the principle in this Shouting-门, was so embarrassed by finding this that the first thing to do is to take a picture? Why not rip it off the wall because it’s so embarrassing, and then take it home and photograph it there?

    Skepticism is rare on the Chinese internet, I find. The most skeptical post i’ve come across has the “China/rooster pecking Japan/worm”, and i think that’s amazing as people kept asking over and over if it is a PS’ed picture because they couldn’t believe something they saw is how they felt. As good as the internet in China is, I wish there was some propaganda about spitting and waiting in line. [everytime you jump the queue, a Japanese smiles!!!]

    I am still wondering how victims of the fire would feel about the Chinese interpretation. “Dude, your home is destroyed, your community is gone and your neighbors are dead and injured, but hey, down with inferior Japan!”

    Anyways, to conclude, I’ve never heard my neighbors having sex, but then I’m probably too busy..

    • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

      I’m as serious as a heart attack. Even though my sarcasm is hard to detect at times, I’m serious here. I’m taking it that you don’t know the situation, so let me explain it as if you don’t know.

      WHY TEH INTERNETS IS TEH AWESOME IN TEH ZHINA:

      China has a long and storied history (5000 blahblah) to which no matter which ruling body is currently presiding over the motherland, this place is really just a bunch of traditions. And, traditions die hard – with a vengeance.

      Then one day, China invented the internets (they invented everything else, so…). And yes, though there was great ignorance, stupidity, propaganda, censorship, xenophobia, racism and nationalism, there was also came with teh internets something new: a chance at change. And with that, comes an ugly little baby: hope.

      You see, after 5000 years of having the same traditions, going online anonymously to truthfully exchange ideas with other anonymous people is a phenomenon that hasn’t ever happened here. So, living in China where a person can not show compassion in this society can finally do so… online (look up that chinaSMACK story about the girl in the hospital who received donations from the internet). A person living in China is always conscious of rank and face and can not speak truthfully to other people all day long… until they go online. Chinese prevented from seeking justice with no court, no officials to help them can go one more place… the internet. News outlets and lawyers and others here can influence a one-party system.. by going online (see: black jails, chengguan reform, that chick who stabbed a gov’t official on and on and on…). Esteemed peer, need I go on?

      The internet in China is alot like 4chan: anonymous, small-minded, self-eating (I can’t remember the correct word).. just a cess pool. But, 4chan has done some amazing things. Likewise, the Chinese internet, despite all of its many failings (including this post which as i said, take to be false) has done some amazing things and will continue to do great things.

      Chinese internet culture is Chinese culture, and yet at the same time it is not Chinese culture. It is terrible, and yet at the same time it is sublime. It is change, and it will cause change. It is hope, and will encourage hope.

      “Yippee-kai-yay, motherf–” (plane blows up)

    • mankouzanghua

      One other thing about the letter also doesn’t seem right. Namely, it only mentions the loud sex last night. But would one instance really compel a neighbor to write a letter? In my experience Chinese neighbors produce and tolerate unbelievable amounts of noise — and people, more generally, will take an action like posting an anonymous letter only after considering it for some length of time and trying other means first (e.g., banging the ceiling with a broom stick). In this case, the letter seems to have been posted the day after.

      If the screaming was indeed a regular occurrence then I find it hard to believe the neighbor would fail to mention this in the letter.

      • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

        the letter is too flattering for something that is anonymous, it’s as if it’s part of some kind of application letter or something.

        I don’t know why “操你妈闭嘴！“won’t suffice, this letter is as elaborate as the “Letter to Penthouse magazine” someone wrote in a comment below.

  • superbunny

    once we were having sex, my neighbor knocked at the wall…i did not hear, my ex told me after we finished….
    they hated us very much! lol!

  • aclcla

    ah, my poor neighbors.

  • Jay K.

    the loudest form of sex, fake or not, porn star style or not to stroke the ego i could care less. its still damn good! pizza is a lot like sex, cold, or stale you’ll still eat the pizza; very much like sex

  • Broseph

    是否真的重要？你吃醋吗？

  • UDL..

    HAHAHAHahahahahahahahahha. they should get their own earplugs instead. Earplugs for everyone! yay!

  • dim mak

    Roll their underwear into a ball and stuff it in their mouth.

    That is what I do when I penetrate my females.

    • Chunghwa

      There’s always the alternative of purchasing a BDSM kit from eBay Japan, which includes a muffler… probably much more hygienic than used underwear going into the mouth… 保持健康，幸福未来

  • korean_guy

    neighborly consideration? in China? Good luck.

    • Eddie

      obviously you dont live in beijing where people are annoyin as fuck, they complain a lot because of noise.. and this is kinda a foreigner place..

  • korean_guy

    Chinese do what they want, when they want, however many times they want. They don’t give a shit about others.

    • Voice of China

      You’re far more likely to have a Gook disturbing others.

      When I’ve been with Korean girls, all they do is drink soju, beer and cry with their friends all night long.

      • Jen in NY

        Whatever you’re doing to those poor Korean girls must be so bad if afterwords they have to get drunk and cry all night long.

  • The Regulator

    Fussy neighbours, clearly…I put up with all sorts of abrasive everyday Chinese noises in my apartment all the time that go on for much longer than the two minutes that Chinese people having sex lasts for.

  • Alikese

    I find if more likely that some guy wrote this himself and posted it on his wall just long enough to take a picture, in order to prove to MOP that he has a really big e-Penis, than some middle age mother posting this up, in what would appear to be the common area, to call out some random guy on his loud sex.

    In conclusion, run-on sentences and vaginas.

  • Alex

    First, I seriously doubt that this is real… the guy most likely wrote that himself and posted it on the net for ePenis reasons.
    Second, let’s say that this is real… how can you not realize that the noises can be heard through the walls?
    And third, — “How would you feel if this was pasted to the front of your home entrance?” — I wouldn’t care.

  • zammo

    Rohypnol would solve this problem.

    Unconscious ladies rarely make a sound.

    • redgirl

      Sad bastard..
      Blow up doll is cheaper.

  • T.T

    Stop COCK BLOCKING!

  • sean

    i don’t understand why that girl has to scream, is he using a knife to do with her? chinese girls and guys are perverted. I think they need sexual education and need to be taught how to do it. Chinese girls gets orgasm even if you put a peanut into their ****

  • Jamie Harrington

    reading the comments here I detect lots of sarcastic undertone undermining the Chinese (male and female) sexual prowess. Hey, there are 1.2B of them anyway, now that’s a lot of penetrations.

    i pity you sexually frustrated white boys always resorting to making slanderous statements against the Chinese folks inorder to make you feel better about your worthless penises.

    Yes, you may have dated a Chinese girl but she’s ugly as a fuck. Or, a girl may have come on to you but that’s only for a green card ride. And finally, wacking off while looking at a picture of your sister insn’t really intercourse.

  • Concerned Citizen

    Try oral. At least it keeps her mouth busy.

    • pervertt

      At least until the gagging and spluttering starts. Then the real noise begins …

  • shanghairen

    Well, good for them. I’ve heard of too many couples in China not enjoying sex. But in general the the attitude here is 1) pretend nobody can hear us and 2) pretend we don’t hear anything.

  • jackbutcher

    luckily i live in a better house.

    my gf scream like japs porn movie

  • N.

    MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA
    “civic consideration”

    Hello fucktards, this is China.

  • b. prichard

    Or just stroking his ego. I’ve heard that women sometimes do this.

  • Not a local people

    great quote!! RIP “Gary Coleman”

  • mankouzanghua

    And then you woke up??

    Major BS…

    For example, why/how would the mattress be ruined?

  • Strangerland

    Wooaaahhh, talk about wet-dream eh.
    Your prowess in storytelling rivalled that of those mop guys talking about their e-penis. Har-har.

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