Chinese Share How Their Parents Beat Them: Part 2

More translated Chinese netizen comments about how they were disciplined by their parents when they were children, such as what “weapons” their moms and dads used. See Part 1 here. These comments were selected from the popular Chinese news portal and BBS discussion forum, NetEase. The original Chinese post topic was titled: “What weapons did your parents use to discipline you?

Comments from NetEase:

广东深圳网友:

Thin bamboo strips, broom, clothes hangers, basically I experienced anything my mother could get her hands on, but being beaten by both my mom and dad at the same time was rare. My old man basically use his palms, otherwise it would be bamboo strips. His slaps were really loud/strong, one slap and my face was all red. Bamboo strips were bad during the summer, I didn’t dare wear shorts.

stuart_wm:

I remember back in sixth grade I was unjustly and violently beaten by my old man’s leather belt, directly knocking me to the ground, and even the neighbors downstairs ran up. Later when my old man saw my butt at night, he himself shed tears. Before elementary school the washboard was frequently experienced by me, while my old man’s shoes was another frequent guest. Even so, I still consider myself lucky, the kid next door [had to experience] fresh hot coal cinders. Just looking made me cringe. shock

kinsue:

A wet towel~ I there pretending to be a hermaphrodite and my dad threw the towel he had just used to wash his feet, my face really stung…
Before the third grade I was beaten many times, beaten behind closed doors, beaten until not one part of my body was not bruised. Then my dad would remorsefully rub medicine on me and tell me to behave.
Later on, my mom had a fight with my dad over him beating me and from then on he never beat me again. However, replacing him was my mother, and my mom only had one method: “Shadow palm, I didn’t even get a chance to see it before my body was covered with palm prints.”

上海闵行网友:

No mixed doubles [being beaten by both parents at the same time], almost always all just one of them. When the male-side [father] beats me, the female-side [mother] would feel heart-broken and scold the male-side. Then they would get into an argument between themselves, but the harm/suffering I experienced was worse. When it was just my mother, my father would be the observer…just my mother was the most frequent, and nothing was off the table, a thorny tree branch all shattered, lines of blood all over my back, almost like Guo Jing from The Legend of the Condor Heroes. Once I lost a book, it was winter, she found a thorny branch, the thorns on my body really hurt, from back to front, I was whipped 3 times by the branch, once it hit my eyes, but good thing it didn’t blind me. In addition, her wretched claws that twist into my face; even today, I still have many marks. Slaps to the face, knuckles, and sticks were basic weapons, and a few times even the fire-tongs…once they [parents] even ran out of things to use, so they took off their flip-flops and smacked me right in my face. They were the really hard kind of flip-flops and on my face immediately appeared a shoe print, completely red…Just my father was rare but it was life threatening, once I was thrown in the air, and good thing I landed on my butt…Looking back at my childhood, I really scorned my parents, basically a major beating occurred every few days and small beating occurred daily…In reality, I was actually very well-behaved as a child, starting to cook when I was seven, and my grades were pretty good, almost never got into trouble, and was never mischievous. But my biggest flaw was that I was really stubborn…my little brother was a lot worse than me, he misbehaves, and we both get beatings, but when he saw that the situation was about to get bad, he immediately leaves, waiting until their anger subdued before coming home and sweeping the floor…but for me, I get beaten. I wouldn’t cry, just stubbornly took it until they were done…later my mom told me that my stubbornness made her even more angry…A few years ago, I still jokingly asked my parents whether I was their real son. They were not happy…so now I stop mentioning these things. After all, they know they were too hard on me…In fact, regarding beating children, I still feel it is needed, but you can’t be too ruthless.

扯–淡:

The 18 palms of the descending dragon, and the shadow kick of Foshan.

浙江杭州网友:

My dad seldom beat me but when he did, it was vicious。 My mother, on the other hand, often beat me but would cry every time afterward. Any tool/instrument could be used, as long as she could lay her hands on it. When I was young I would cry in a corner after getting beaten. When I was a bit older, they had to chase me to beat me (basically they couldn’t because they couldn’t run faster than me). After that [period], I would just stand there and let her beat me (not uttering a sound). One funny instance, my mother was chasing me with an aluminum ladle and eventually got so frustrated that she threw it at me, right onto the back of my head. Only after running further for a distance did I feel the cold wetness, and when I felt it was blood, I fainted. When I woke up, it was in a hospital, and it was almost New Years, and my head was covered in bandages, and my mother wouldn’t let me say it was she who caused it.

偶麦噶:

Iron-sand palm
Clothes hangers (each time the plastic ones breaks; later every time my brother and I were beaten, my mother would hand [my father] metal ones. Every time they finished beating me, my brother and I would throw the clothes hanger out the window)
Feather duster (there was a lot of dust)
Leather belt
Electric cables (this was the most painful)
Shoes
Lute (My dad was in the living room cheerfully playing his flute [instrument]. My brother and I were in the bedroom pretending to be Ultraman vs. monsters and fighting, and we broke the bedframe. As a result, he came in and it was straight to the beating. That one time really scared me. From that point on, you could beat me to death and I wouldn’t pretend to be Ultraman again.)
Books (Halfway finishing my homework, I started to play with my cell phone, immediately getting a hit on the head!)
Now thinking about, I feel ashamed. I as a girl getting beaten the entire day along with my little brother…

zpy751029:

My experiences involve the combined torture of both flesh and spirit. Holding up chairs (depending on age, holding different sized chairs, this way it was more humane). Writing self-criticisms. Every morning before getting up out of bed, under my father’s supervision, I had to recite [the self-criticism] once, in addition to solemnly pledging to never commit [the mistake] again…it really hurt my self-esteem!

Breaking bed frames as Ultraman vs. monsters. chinaSMACK personals.

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  • Zhangsan

    Hands and rulers here, for the most part.

  • jk

    Never was beaten, because my parents loved me and preferred to talk over any problems. Mow as an adult and psychologist I always advise parents against violence, it solves nothing. Its also illegal in many countries.

  • LOLZ

    With the single child policy, I think Chinese in cities (at least in Shanghai) tend to over spoil their kids and not discipline them enough.

    • http://yanxishan.wordpress.com/ Yan Xishan

      Now the punishment is a medium order of fries as KFC, not the large order that precious is whining for.

  • FYIADragoon

    Seriously, hitting your kids is fine if it is done with moderation. Just randomly doing it is like snapping your dog’s collar for no reason. Obviously the dog learns nothing and just thinks you hate it. But if done properly, it respects you and learns what to not do. IT IS the same for children. Most of the little shits you see doing underage drinking, driving horribly, practicing unsafe sex, etc. failed to be hit enough. A normal child isn’t smart enough yet to have a conversation that will allow them to understand why certain things are wrong. That call your parents “sir” and “mam” bullshit is a load of crap too. Seriously, Americans stop fucking up and actually learn how to be real parents.

  • bluah

    My dad was in the living room cheerfully playing his flute [instrument]. My brother and I were in the bedroom pretending to be Ultraman vs. monsters and fighting, and we broke the bedframe. As a result, he came in and it was straight to the beating. That one time really scared me. From that point on, you could beat me to death and I wouldn’t pretend to be Ultraman again.

    This wouldn’t have happened if they played Lei Feng vs. counter-revolutionaries.

  • Ken

    good point @ fyiadragoon.
    1. Any parent that cries after they beat their kid obviously doesnt understand why they are beating them.
    2. There is a whole society of grown @$$ men and women walking around china I’d love to smack right in the face.
    3.Parents who are afraid to discipline their kids with full intent on making the kid realize/suffer consequences and take resp. 4 actions (no matter what it takes) arent suited for the job. Give up and let some 1 beat the sh!t outta your child.
    People always complain ‘oooh dont hit him/her’ dont take his toy away, he doesnt need punishment this time.
    FVCK THAT!! Beat the fvckin sh!t out of them and parent and child will BOTH be better off in the long run.

  • http://yourshinebox.blogspot.com/ JM

    Leather slippers and or broom handles.

    “But by then, I didn’t care. The way I saw it, everybody takes a beating sometime.”

    Henry Hill, Goodfellas.

  • Jimmy

    When I was a kid, my Dad never used tools to discipline me, he preferred to use his bare hands <.<;

  • Peng

    “The 18 palms of the descending dragon, and the shadow kick of Foshan.”

    Hahaha, love this.

  • LUCKY FISH

    With me, it’s always just the bare hands, and then they deny it afterwards. They hate it when I have the marks to show it. They’ve started using a stick now that I’m older though. Sometimes, it’s a slipper or a magazine. Nice to see they’re branching out… It’s not as painful as it seems though. The least painful is always the magazine. It’s softer than most tools, one of the best tools to be beaten with. If you close your eyes, you can’t even feel it.

    • Alikese

      You’re still young enough to be spanked by your parents?

      Or is this some sort of masochistic fantasy you’re working out?

  • Shoeshine

    My parents made a habit of never giving their kids a spanking while angry. Usually we were sent to our rooms, while mom or dad cooled off. A little while later one of the parents would come up, make sure we knew what we did wrong and give us a moderate spanking.

    I do remember, however, two instances when they lost their cool. The first time was when I swore at my mother. Dad nearly slid the pickup off the road, yanked me out of the car and used a 2″ hydraulic hose on my ass.

    On the second occasion, I punched my sister. I don’t think I have ever seen my mother so irate. She yanked my pants down, threw me across her knee and let fly with a ruler. Then she filled my head with horror stories about how I would end up in prison (and deserve it) if I kept hitting the opposite sex. I have to say, I think that’s a lesson some of men in videos on Chinasmack should have learned

  • Ken

    @Shoeshine and the 2″ hydraulic hose –> that is how it is done!
    slippers and magazines dont do it for me unless the offender is made to stand straight and take shots to the face – and then apologize (old korean style). And even still a slipper aint the tool 4 that.
    You want your child to build morale and character – have them go pick the belt used to beat their @$$, and if they pick your small thin wal-mart belt they get beat twice as hard and long. Unlucky for me most of my dads belts were thick as sh!t lol!!

    • Somethin Somethin

      God damn you guys all had it bad. You’re making me believe all those stories the Phillipino kids would tell me in grade school. My dad hit me once when I was 13. I’m lucky to still have all my teeth. He hit me again when I was 17 with the same result. He hit me I hit the floor and wondered what that white flash coming out of left field was. Mom used to beat me with wooden spoons, but those broke too easily so she switched to those wooden paint stirrer sticks you can get at the hardware store for free. Can’t say they beat me too much or too little just know that I’m gonna try not to do it myself someday.

      • wynne

        Damn u, this is not true, Filipino people are loving and caring to their family. They are the greatest parents in the world. U idiot ignorant. check your spelling as well.

  • The One

    These stories make me think about when i was young, i had a simple strategy, whenever i knew i did something wrong and knew my dad was waiting to give me a lil some i would run away to my friend’s place and only get back at night. He usually forgot that he wanted to beat me up. Now whenever i did something wrong to my mom, i would stand there and block or dodge her punches coz i knew she would get tired and just let me go…haha I love u mom

  • LOLZ

    So I was trying to figure out Kensue’s reponse “A wet towel~ I there pretending to be a hermaphrodite and my dad threw the towel he had just used to wash his feet, my face really stung…”

    When I first read this I was like, how the fuck can you pretend to be a hermaphrodite? So I checked the original post and it began with this “我在那里装阴阳人”. Then It made sense to me, the boy must of tucked his penii between his legs and giggled around like that in front of his father..

    I am thinking there must be a better translation for 阴阳人 than “hermaphrodite”, the later word is a bit too scientific and technical of to be used in a joke post, but I can’t think of a better english translation.

    • http://www.chinasmack.com Joe

      My original translation was just that “he was being gay” (but I guess that was a bit crass and not literal)

    • Murray

      I believe the correct term is “mangina”. lol

      Double standards are a bitch! The Dad had no business giving a wet towel beating for this! haha

      Show me a male who has never pulled a mangina and I’ll show you a liar!

  • http://chinasmack Rastaracer

    I’ve noticed that a lot of Chinese parents like to punish their children for wrong doings, but don’t reward them for when they do good.
    Maybe I got lucky with my daughter. I’ve rarely even had to raise my voice to her, and she is the kindest, politest, and most well mannered 8 year old you would ever meet.

  • http://www.borrowedculture.com Fabrizio

    Wow, some parents mean business. 2″ hose? I think I’d call that abuse. I’m of the mind that physical punishment achieves nothing.

    @FYIADragoon Don’t you think that if a Child is too young to understand a conversation, they will be to young to understand why you are beating them?

  • Smack

    There’s a Chinese song for this – “打是亲骂是爱”

    • LOLZ

      打是亲骂是爱 has to do with lover’s quarrel rather than parents/kids relationships.

      Lyrics to 打是亲骂是爱

      你是有名的爆脾气 – You are known for your temper
      我是有名的大力气 – I am known for my strength
      不知道从哪天起 – Don’t know which day
      我们不小心走在一起 – We met each other by accident
      你常常骂我不争气 – You often tell me I am a disappointment
      我常常说你很小气 – I often say you are stingy
      吵完了之后又一起回到甜蜜 – After arguments we get back together
      原来相爱一切不容易 – Love is not easy
      为什么总要互相发脾气 – Why are we always at each others’ throats
      现在总算才明白 – Now I finally understand
      只有互相在乎才叫爱 – It can be only called love when we care about each other
      你说打是亲骂是爱 – You say fighting and scolding are signs of love
      不打不亲不恋爱 – No fighting, no love
      让人看不懂 – Others do not understand
      想不明白
      爱情里面千奇百怪 – Love is strange
      打是亲骂是爱 – Fighting and scolding are signs of love

  • kimboslice

    The photo of the man caning the naked boy in a public street is absolutely disgusting. That boy will be scarred mentally for life. His father is a lunatic. This would have put him in jail in a western city.

  • malakai

    There’s a fine line when disciplining children. The level of “force” should match with the crime. Parents should have the right to discipline their own children. Unfortunately, where I’m from that right sadly has been taken away. The picture above showing the half-naked child is something best left in their own home.

    I remember when I was 12 my father had used his belt on me while I was on my knees with my hands on my head. I wasn’t allowed to move and had to stay in that position for a few hours. The crime: I had tried to forged my father’s signature on a school document. It was a letter addressed to him informing him that I have to stay in school after-hours serving detention. Of course, I never tried that again.

  • Wuxi Dude

    Back in Forest Hills my mother used to beat me with a hanger while she screamed

  • Wuxi Dude

    Back in Forest Hills my mother used to beat me with a hanger while she screamed NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!

    She was fucking crazy.

  • Joe #2

    Reading about all these martial arts moves being used makes me hope that the Shaolin monks are celibate.

    Or is that how they get their training?

  • anc

    im chinese, one time my parents made me kneel on the floor until my kneel starts to hurt bad..i don’t even remember what I did wrong.

  • UDL

    my dad occasionally hit me on the arm. my mom spat on me threw a pencil towards my face now i have a scar of it. made me knelt in front of her few times. remeber that i cried a lot. she threw books at me. getting lower than 90% was not exceptable.. once she tore all my books threw them at me and taped it all back up through out the night.. -____-… oh.. was being pushed out home a few times. often visited the rough mat at the front door nx to the kichen. she d scream so loud hearing thunders scared me a lot.. -____-.. dont even rmb how much my hands got hit by those rulers.. maybe thats y i have such slim thin hands now? ha.

  • White Man

    As a proud White Man, brought up in a White society, I thank God’s grace.

    Never once was a hand laid upon me.

    For China – have God’s mercy on her children – when will this grisly violence as so often openly paraded in China stop?

    What evil force is driving Chinese men and women to beat helpless children?

    • Xin Hua

      thank god our parents spank us… bcos unlike you.. we didnt end up working in walmart at minimum age all our life.. we became doctors, lawyers, engineers, scientists and businessmen that now have all your countries money..lol

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  • Samara

    I am African American. When I was a young child, my mother hit me with an open hand or a leather belt. Then she moved up to using a switch (a tree limb). When I became a teenager, she started whipping with an extension cord. In addition to being hit, she belittled me constantly and played mind games with me. My father never hit me. However, my parents were divorced and my father lived 30 minutes away. I do not have children. However, if I have children, I will not beat them the way I was beaten.

  • Unlikely

    YEah bud, sure sounds like you have
    “moved on”. I have never seen so many people in need of a good therapist like in China. The whole country needs one actually. There is more trauma than chopsticks in this place. Sad.

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