Wife Caught Cheating, Begs For Advice Online

Pretty Asian Woman using laptop computer

From Mop:

Husband goes on a business trip, bored, so had sex with an internet friend and was discovered!

We’ve lived together for six years, yet it’s all ruined within a month. He was on a business trip, I was bored and wandered around the internet. I became familiar with a charming guy, developed a relationship, sneakily fooled around with him for several days, but in the end my husband found out.

He has never hit me before, but my pampering husband slapped me heavily across the face. Afterward, he slammed the door and did not return home for three days. He came back yesterday at noon, but he brought the divorce agreement, he had already signed it and wanted a divorce. I kneeled down in front of him grasping onto his leg, begging for his forgiveness. He kicked me away and left, saying he’d return when I finished signing. I’ve almost died from weeping. I feel he still loves me, the assets will be split 70/30, he gave me 70, 30 for himself. The divorce agreement is in right front of me. Hugging a pillow, I cried for a day and a night, I’ve almost become numb. I don’t want to lose my husband, I called him, sobbing and shouting yet he is indifferent, only that one sentence telling me to sign it so we can divorce quickly. What should I do???

Don’t scold me anymore, okay? I know the mistake was my fault, I’m very regretful!!!

Yesterday at night my husband returned again, said he was picking up some clothes and staying at the company dorms, he’s part of a construction company. He doesn’t speak to me, when he does talk he bitterly says divorce related words. I see him put his clothes one-by-one into the bag, my heart was shattered. He left again after he finished picking up his clothes, I held onto him pleading him not to leave, saying many repentant words, begging him not to leave me. He flings me to the side and opens the door, I tightly grasp onto door handle preventing him opening the door.

He became enraged and forcefully yanked my arm away with one hand, while his other hand wrapped around my waist, and dragged me to the bedroom. He angrily threw me onto the bed. How can my strength compare to his, moreover I haven’t eaten anything in several days, I’m somewhat weak. He stepped out, I feared once he leaves he’ll never come back so I desperately got up, ran out and grappled onto him using the door frame to pull him back. The mirror beside the door was shattered, my husband left after all. I sat by the door and cried for who knows how long. My parents still don’t know about this, if they knew I’d be castigated to death, if my family knew, I wouldn’t have the face to live on, I’m so close to breaking down. What should I do?

Comments from Mop:

男仔V:

This is very typical! This sort of thing happening in today’s society is no big deal …

00猫00:

Wait a few days and then discuss with him… perhaps it will be better… if it’s still no good…you should let it go.

~网事如风~:

At the time you were playing around you didn’t think about the consequences?

will2044:

Get a divorce! There’s nothing much to say.

脸上的幸福:

divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce.

buletears521:

Go to hell…best if you go further…filthy goods [whore]…

weng1988:

You’re very ignorant.

hzksky:

You made your own mistake, so you have to take your own responsibility.

qwdaibiao:

It’s too late. Just sign it. If it’s real, I believe your husband will never be on good terms with you again.

wangkunduqing:

I guess I will console you a bit. Even though I don’t approve of your way of handling things, since something we don’t hope to see has already happened, and you fully comprehend your mistake, I suggest you don’t cry like this anymore, it doesn’t help solve the problem. You should think of a way to calmly discuss with him, don’t hold back, if there’s something to be said, say it openly. Put in your utmost effort to salvage this marriage. If there’s absolutely no way, I think you should at the very minimum retain your dignity. Since he has already decided, you should not beg him further and lose your self-respect, otherwise, even if you were to make up, there will be a crisis later on. After all, a broken mirror cannot be perfectly round again, a mirror with a crack will not shine perfectly. Perhaps your life from now on will be weary!

1093次失恋:

I hate lowly people like you the most, serves you right to be tossed aside.

dio19850604:

You reap the fruits of your labor. No one will sympathize, no one will pity you, obviously you knew it was wrong yet you did it anyway so you’ll have to face reality.

一个JB两头插:

Hate you so much, because my love is so deep. You have betrayed a man who loved you, you broke his heart. Cheap slut, I really want to slap you, go die, don’t go on pretending you’re pure.

痞子孩:

You’ve brought your own consequences, but cannot live on. Why bother?

liuyangs0124:

You can try discussing [with him], “flirtatious man”…lou zhu, you saying this is so… also, six years of marriage, your age isn’t young any more, so… [forget it, I] won’t say anymore, even an upstanding official finds it difficult to resolve family disputes [this is a Chinese proverb].

水煮鱿鱼:

I don’t know what kind of personality your husband has.
You can analyze starting from his character.
What can you do so that he’ll forgive you?
After all, you said he pampered you for six years.
Therefore it’s not possible he’ll abandon you after just this one incident.

双子座情人:

Lou zhu you can go fuck off~

溫ˉ尛貍:

Play with fire and burned yourself. Fun, isn’t it~~~

SaliM:

I hate women like you the most.
So happy having sex with other people, right?
No matter how much you cry, it is no use.
Already such a grown person yet yo don’t consider the consequences of your actions,
You can take a hike.

Next. chinaSMACK personals.

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  1. this is soooo sad.. i really feel for the guy.. who cares about that bitch, its her own fault.. i couldn’t imagine wat hes going through right now, being betrayed by the person u love the most must feel like death. how is he ever to trust anybody ever again? the person most hurt is the guy. hang in their brother u got support form the ppl who are reading this.

  2. Is the woman the one in the picture? If so, let’s have some fun, I can assure you my wiener is magnitudes longer and wider. If that’s not you, send me a pic and we’ll discuss.

  3. You should sign the divorce papers and get on with your life. And by getting on, you would be so devastated by this divorce that you start smoking meth and start prostituting yourself to fill that void that you will never fill again.

    So cheers!

  4. Have a existential free love relationship like Jean Paul Satre and Simone de Beavoir. Emma Goldman herself said, “I believe in your right to love,” to her lovers.

    That is why I let most of my husband(s) fool around. I also gain that same free.

    • Bertie Russel used to go around preaching free love too. Funniest stories are about how his “enlightened” facade finally collapsed after having to sit down to dinner one too many times with his “wife” and her live in lover. I would have paid for a seat on that table :)

      And Jean Paul Satre clearly should have been grateful for any pussy coming his way, so its perfectly understandable why he adopted his ‘enlightened’ view point.

      Existential relationships are fine if mutually acceptable and understood to be disposable. But it provides ZERO support as a foundation for long term sexual partnership in society. Its a luxury open only to the elite; its not at all practical. (Unless you have a Brave New World system in mind for making all of us “existential” free lovers.)

      • “long term sexual partnership” ? could you develop this idea .

        Sartre and De beauvoir cannot be taken as example, because they were not only smart, but curious enough to think deeply and not accept socciety’s views . Which is not the case of most people.

        Thinking that one can stay with the same person ad vitam aeternam is both a lack of reflexion and experience. Unfortunatly with everybody participating in the illusion, it’s hard to catch it.

        Here this situation is ultimately a problem of beliefs.

        She didn’t speak with her husband, she decided to act on her own and was careless enough to got caught. I’d like to say she deserves what she got, but with 70 percents of the wealth, I can’t.

  5. lonelienessssssssssssssssssss

  6. if you stay in marriage, you will not be happy, for he will never forget this, let alone respect you. You should divorce! If he can’t forget you and learn to forgive you in the future, he will turn back to you. If he will not, just let it go. You should consider you new life. You will get use to the life without him, as well as your other family remembers. Just face the music! Everything will be better.

  7. 70%???? sheeeet

    wtf???

    4 a hoor?

  8. I think she is more worried about saving her face in front of her family then saving her marriage. Another woman who don’t know what the fuck she wants.

  9. You are a very pretty young woman. Girls will be girls.

  10. what you do is what you get. live with it and enjoy those slutty moments.

  11. “The moving hand writes, and having writ moves on. Neither all your tears, nor all your wit, shall lure it back to erase half a line, nor change a single word of it.”

    Little girl, what is done is done! not even God can change the past. Let the world take some more turns for week or two, say nothing just think out your future perhaps all will come right in the end!

  12. I hope you fucken die you bitch, you slut stay home get pampered oh im bored while my husband takes stress for being a business man ill go fuck and suck some other cunts cock, i am actualy going to pray every day for a month that you and your family burn out of existence and painfully. whore.

    • If she loves him and wants to be back with him, she should try very hard to “beg for forgiveness”, and promise to atone for her “crime”, and be kept on a very short leash.

  13. I don’t understand what would drive someone to do this. I recently found out that my wife has been cheating on me too. We often spent time apart as I have to travel for work but I thought we trusted each other. I can’t believe after 7 years together she could hurt me soo much. I am destroyed.
    As for the man in the story I don’t know if he cheated on her or not but I don’t think he would have as the whole point in marriage is to give yourself to someone and only them.

  14. First I was like what? and then I was like HUh? and then I get bored. People must have really nothing to do to talk about such topics…

  15. Attraction isn’t a choice. If you were sexually fulfilled in the first place it would’ve never happened. Society likes to pretend we should always be civil and perfectly rational, but society casts an “imperfect” model that no one can live up to. This sort of thing has been happening since man could get an erection and a woman could lubricate herself. It’s called “The Mating Mind”. Guys who don’t have the know-how to keep a women need to learn… You can’t just leave your wife (or husband) at home and not expect her or him to overpower their genetic programming… Try to sweep it under the carpet and it only becomes a bigger problem…

    • Jon…on an itellectual level you are right. But emotionally, I totally disagree. We humans have built institutions, such as marraige and family, not just to keep us from “cheating” but also to give us a sense of belongning to a single unit as we are social beings. I have walked in on my girlfriend who was in bed with someone else. The pain this causes cannot be understood unless experienced.

  16. The husband seems to have some serious control issues, or is a macho conservative. It is sad he left you. If my wife did have some fun, i would not leave her.

  17. @Libertarian your ass and a enabler, she was messing around while she was MARRIED, they where not dating or casually seeing each other that was her husband..

  18. I wouldn’t be surprise if the husband had a mistress hidden away somewhere. Sadly infidelity in marriage will be another item the Chinese will surpass others in.

  19. you people are just so rude nobody is perfect people make mistake and all the comments i read from the chinese people are so full of judgment its always easy to judge other but you never know the mistakes you will make in your life. i think even if what the woman did is horrible the husband should give her an other chance coz she is begging for him so that means she still loves him. of course she should for a long time do everything to prouve her love again and work hard for the husband to see how much she is welling to have him back.
    in this world everybody cheat one way or another to get what they want. but everybody deserves a second chances.
    i hate cheaters and liars but i hate more people who thinks they are perfect and irreprochable.

    so if you love hin do everything to get him back and never do that mistake again that was your joker

  20. Well, I’ve kinda been in this situation before, but I was the mistress. All I can say that if you were playing around with something like that, you can’t just expect your husband to come back to you and forgive you. You pretty much betrayed him over someone on the internet who might not even be real. But I pity you anyways. It’s pretty much retribution. The best advice I can give you is sign the divorce and move on.

    “You’re responsible for the sh*t that happens in your life. Stop crying & take the responsibility to fix it.”

  21. Just sign it & be done with. Move on, it’s over now. Find someone better…

    Or just play around for a while ^_^

  22. Don’t cry or beg him anymore. No matter how long. And most of all don’t sign the divorce papers yet. Just let him come around on his own. He’s hurt. We all have our tendency to forgive someone that wronged us, no matter how bad unless he’s a hater. Understand his pain & your stubidity of why & how it happened.

  23. I myself was a husband that has this happen to him. After my wife showed signs of being unhappy and in my opinion crazy she decided to move out for a bit to think things out and decide what to do? We had 3 kids together and I have raised her son from another a young relationship since he was 3? After only days of moving out she started seeing a new guy and developed a real Hardcore affair… I wanted more than ever to mend things but she was so busy moving on she had not even taken the time she said she needed to consider the kids the marriage the house? So i stayed with the kids and raised them while she played. Months later she came crawling back to live with me but by this time I was so bitter and I am sure I looked like living hell. I helped her pack up her car and she decided to move back to her home city. 1000 miles away. Now she wants to move home and start all over and she sounds like you did just prior to him slapping you. She says she has changed and she will trat me good now? She says she will do what ever i want her to? Since I have not divorced her yet and we have these kids I will take her back. But even God won’t forgive the treatment she will receive from me now. Before I was a saint I did anything for her.. it was yes dear… of course dear…. Now it will be my choices and I will run this house or she can’t come back. In a strange twist of fate.. it was like as a woman you have all these rights now she will do what I tell her or she is gone. I will be her king and she my queen but never will she get to hold my balls in her hand when she talks to me. I am her fucking master now. Let this be a small lesson when you break a mans heart into pieces don’t expect him to grow a new one overnight and when you fuck up and want back in prepare to kiss his ass 10x as much as you ever could have imagined. ;)

  24. You deserve what you got. I mean, what kind of wife were you anyways to be doing stuff behind your husband’s back? Thats not what marriage is about. If you wanted to mess with multiple men, you should have stayed single or joined a strip club or something…

  25. How did your husband find out? I wonder! did he cactch you and that guy on bed? If the answer is yes, then your marriage is over!!! Dont even try to hold on to it. No man will forgive his wife for cheating if he sees it happen with his own eyes…..Show me one if you know any, then may be just may be you can save your marriage!!!

  26. cheaters always cheat again after their second chance.

  27. why don’t u be careful when having sex with ur lover? u r so careless. i guess u must have great fun and passion when u with him. but it’s useless saying this now.
    i think he just wanted dignity as a man,u know how shameful he was when others know he has a disloyal wife. as u said :he has pampered u for six years.i think things will be better over time .then apologize to him sincerely ,u owed him.
    hehe remember :be careful when u have sex with others next time.i hope such things won’t happen again
    but if ur husband has sexual impotence ,then things will be different…..

  28. This is a very typical thing in today’s society. Why is your husband so angry? And he’s not even a man, he slapped you. What kind of a gentlemen is that? He’s just an ass hole, you can find a better man, trust me. I can’t believe you actually kneeled down and beg, you should have slapped him back, and you should be the one to leave him. You have the power and freedom to do anything you wish to. You husband has no right to interfere. Grow up, there are many many other men in this world for you to choose, why would you beg a man who slapped you and disrespected you? So he went away for three days, guess what he probably did? He probably slept with 3 different girls already. Why is it a standard thing for men to fool around with other women, and why is it a big thing when women go out and cheat on her spouse? Talking about equality in society, are we really equal? Oh, and don’t make any assumption of my profile yet, I’m not a woman. And I never ever cheat on my girlfriend, but I’m just saying if my girlfriend did this to me, I wouldn’t be so aggressive. So divorce this guy, this man is not a good husband at all. You need a devoted husband, who still loves you no matter what you do to him.

  29. Go and find your lover whom you have met online.
    see if he wants you or not.
    If he takes you in..
    you are lucky, if he don’t want to have anything to do with you, then you better learn from this mistake.
    Your husband is very very heartbroken at the moment, leave him a lone for a few weeks.
    You should not starve yourself and make yourself weaker.
    You still must eat and be healthy.
    Explain to him why you stray. Keep asking for forgiveness without any good reason, will not work.
    Time will heal.
    And if he later forgive you, maybe years later, do not be so foolish to be tempted to sleep with another playboy who will never take you in and protect you when you are in trouble.
    Learn from this experience.

  30. I wouldn’t forgive my wife if she had an affair, because she was bored while i was away working.

    If you thought that fooling around was OK, you were being naive and stupid.

    Sign that paper and get on with your life, so that your husband who is heartbroken can get on with his.

  31. Ripper_the_Philanderer

    I’ve openly philandered several times and if my wife doesn’t like it, she can leave me–I really don’t care. If you are going to commit adultery, be prepared for your marriage to end. Otherwise, don’t commit adultery. If you don’t care that your husband knows that you are seeing another man or men, you should not have got married in the first place and should not stay married. If you’re going to cheat at least have the courage to do it openly–and damn the consequences. In you’re case, you’re much better off single.

  32. u have done a big sin. how much ur husband would have felt, he gave u everything u need. ur impatience made u to do mistake. if we had done something we have to pay for that. sister this world should understand islam to make life of every individial better. prostitution is a great evil. but when u turn on the tv, in newspapers it is all about sex. the government is also responsible for this. do they have a proper life system for thier people. do they what is the life and how to lead this life. just do they eating ,sleeping,sex,money. go to islam and learn it. u will know who u are. u can control ur desires. desires is the cause for many problems. sister i feel pity for u, but what u had done is really unforgivable by ur husband. think how he would feel if he touch u again. he will not have peace of heart. everytime when he touches u, he will not get the mood, he can only remember than guy and it will make physological stress on him. so it is better to divorce. sister i give u a task, go to learn islam, u will understand this life, it will bring peace to ur heart. divorce ur husband but also seek his forgiveness, then seek forgiveness from god. hope ur repentance would be accepted and u could get peace in life.

    • Firstly moral foundation is present in all mainstream religion, furthermore it’s hugely present as a product of society, with or without religion. If you took the time to read her situation and not just see the opportunity to school her, you’d have realized 1) she’s fully aware that cheating is wrong 2) she’s fully aware that she is the cause of her current predicament 3) she feels completely ashamed and is actively seeking forgiveness.

      Religion is a life style, not a cure. People still make mistakes, whether they look inwards or outwards for answers is irrelevant, the important thing is that they are looking. If religion makes things easier to digest than that’s great but the grass is not always greener on the other side…

  33. Don’t let these people scold you, In all truth he has probably done the same to you in the “shower house”. Your holding on to the name not the person, you scared of being alone not loosing him. You need to take some time and think about what your going to do, because he ain’t coming back. Grow up, pack up and move on. You can still find happiness, but don’t be so foolish again.

  34. It’s too bad we can’t just execute cheating spouses anymore, and before someone says I’m ignorant Ill tell you that I’m a US Marine and Ive seen some terrible stuff in my life but cheating on your life partner and destroying there heart is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. I hope he does leave your ass and I hope you commit suicide because you’ve already destroyed one life and yours isn’t worth continuing. Doesn’t take much restraint to stay off a dick. And I’m not just against women cheating I’d say the same thing to a man, don’t ask people on the internet not to ridicule you anonymous is not forgiving.

  35. I don’t know what type of a person your husband is but typically this will come up again in the future if he isn’t forgiving and even if he is, it will take a long to get over this. In life, it is easy to damage a relationship in any shape or form but it takes a long time to regain the trust. My advice, face the heartaches and in time you will be fine

  36. Absolute truth, both the expats and the Chinese who are bashing on this woman would probably take a far less negative approach if it were a husband cheating on his wife.

  37. People in age 30+ will say “We love milk but do we need to take a cow home? Anyway, when you in the game of flirting, be seriously prepare for the consequences. Either you get the divorce you always wanted or meeting someone better than you present had. Remember paper cant wrap the fire.

  38. There are 2 explantions for [why convenience marriage last longer], coz I’ve seen both in my parents generation:
    1.They are all very conservative, even if they dont love each other, they will stay together coz divorce is unthinkable for them.
    2.Young=stupid, old=wise. My grandma saw this young man once, and she knew immediately it is the right man for my aunt. She introduced the two together and now they are happily married for 30 years now. A lot young people married by free choice, but sometimes those choice may not be all that wise. BUt it is easier said then done hahahhaha

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