Videos

Beijing Girl Will Pay For Man To Watch World Cup With Her

by on Friday, June 11, 2010 116 comments

From Mop:

Sister is offering 1000 kuai per day for a man to watch the World Cup together.

If you’re a real man, then you can apply for the position.

A girl named KK is looking for a high-quality man to accompany her to the World Cup for a “one month period of happiness”. She likes football matches but doesn’t really understand the game and especially likes the big, handsome players.  Here are the specific requirements mentioned in the video, everyone pay attention!

  1. You have to be a guy, a guy who understands football.
  2. Your occupation, status, salary don’t matter at all.
  3. Your age has to be between 20 and 40, if you’re too old or too young, she can only bid you “I’m sorry”.
  4. While you two are together, you have to accompany her to see the football matches and only the matches that she likes. If your preferences are in conflict with hers, then, muhaha, you must obey her wishes. If she says it’s right, then it’s right.
  5. You must know how to cook, and cook many many delicious things. Also, after eating, it’s your responsibility to clean the dishes.
  6. You have to be able to drink, and be able to drink a lot.
  7. She likes straightforward guys. If you’re a Shanghai man, she doesn’t want you.
  8. You must be warm and genial.
  9. You must enjoy exercise/sports.
  10. Mostly importantly, you must wash your feet at least two times a day. She doesn’t like the smell of stinky feet in her room because it’s very strange.

If you’re fortunate enough to be selected, you will be compensated 1000 RMB per day, that’s 1000 RMB! If interested, please submit your photo and CV to her personal email, KKbest8@sina.cn

Lastly, her declaration: South Africa World Cup is the beginning of our romance, the end of the world is our finale.

Thank you everyone! If you’re not serious, don’t bother. *Mmmmuuaahh* She’s waiting for you, hurry up!

Comments from Mop:

哪来的内涵帝:

I’d rather become a woman.

kuqihao:

This girl… I fear if I see her again, I won’t be able to get it up anymore

wei465549941:

Sister [this girl] is definitely 8 years old, matured early!

let2001:

Directly ejaculated.

自由宇屹:

Feminine guy.

wujin274:

Choosing you, is the same as belittling my own intelligence…..
Evaluation complete！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

·囿點坏↗強:

I also like balls [pun on sports with balls], as in I like flesh balls.. heh heh.. brother [referring to self] will help you…

roby_mp:

I thought I was watching a cartoon~~

前世太牛B:

Surprisingly, front row [i.e. first page of comments]? My requirements aren’t too high~ sister, just let me cum 3 times per night is enough.

冷逼冒凉气:

Can I make love with you? I don’t want money, just your love juices.

哥来mop找寂寞:

Such hot weather and [this has made] brother break out in a cold sweat…

寂寞的村长:

If there’s cleavage, [then this post] will be hot.

帅到刺瞎你狗眼:

I didn’t hear the email address clearly. Someone post it. Thanks.

儰自己:

Such a poser.

米歇尔·德·诺特达姆:

This voice… my ball hurts…

电动如来佛:

Really want to plug your mouth with my penis so you will suffocate to death.

绯雪月:

To me, this sounds rather cute.

骑完赤兔骑貂蝉:

My family dog is male, don’t know if that is okay?

乖乖的小白:

After watching… brother threw up.

Put up your own list of requirements. chinaSMACK personals.

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116 Comments

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1 2
  1. The Anti-Racist
    Friday, June 18, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    I guess I am too late now. hahahaha the offer must be closed already.

    Reply
  2. dOgiNtHeHouse
    Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    What a great offer. She’s not half bad looking and you get free sports, food, and booze. And money. Cooking and cleaning is easy since it’s a good excuse not to have to talk with her after lunch/dinner. That’s not a bad job at all.

    Reply
  3. david
    Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    hello , i am david from bulgaria
    i am 26years old

    Reply
  4. jackbutcher
    Friday, June 25, 2010 at 12:04 am

    i would pay if i don’t have to fuck her

    Reply
  5. My Red China
    Friday, July 2, 2010 at 4:05 am

    It’d be great if you were dating this chick and she didn’t know you’d seen these videos she makes and what an attention whore she is. It’s like when you have a friend who is a drug addict and you’re always watching them out of the corner of your eye to make sure they don’t steal anything.

    Like she’s all “oh im just checking my mail” and you know shes a member of like every goddamn dating site in china.

    You could study her, like field anthropology and then one day break her heart and give her what she wants: to feel something. If shes not a faker shes probably some rich-daughter of an official or factory owner who gets whatever she wants and doesn’t even know how to have fun with her privilege.

    As she’s like on the ground crying her eyes out about what a good girl she is you could mention the cutesy videos she made and what a soulless twit she is.

    Unless you somehow fell in love with those roundies, which I could also see happening.

    Reply
  6. Bakery
    Friday, June 11, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    Couldn’t watch past 00:12. Can’t stand the baby talk. But I’m sure Pedobear approves.

    Reply
  7. chinaboy
    Friday, June 11, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    agree 30k to drink and watch footbal rule!

    Reply
  8. Bakery
    Friday, June 11, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    A flesh search? It’s dark out so I’ll just grab my fleshlight…

    Reply
  9. anne
    Friday, June 11, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    You suffered from gynecomastia as a kid? lol

    Reply
  10. Alain
    Friday, June 11, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    Except she won’t be wearing a hick’s hat from the backwoods of the USA, will she?

    Reply
  11. Alain
    Saturday, June 12, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    No I just do it to bait you Yankees. You are a Yankee aren’t you?

    Admit your country annexed/bought most of it’s land? Can’t you? Give Hawaii back to the native people, and let it join the Commonwealth then perhaps at least, the UK will take you lot seriously. In the meantime, you will always be known as “septic tanks” LOL!

    Reply
  12. Alain
    Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 9:53 am

    Jones you arrogant kindergarten teaching BOY, and yes you are a BOY, start posting once you can grow more than bum fluff on your face as is evident from your gravatar. Once you need a rambo knife to shave your face, you can post, until then keep on with your gillette female razor and baby oil….

    Now to debunk your points:

    I’ll be cliche and mention the fact that we won the right to buy most of the land within the US borders by first kicking the UK’s ass with our pitchforks.

    Indeed you did. But it still doesn’t change the fact that many of your people in the deep south still have third world standards of housing and sanitation, does it? Nor does it give Hawaii or Texas the independence it deserves. And Alaska? The Russkies have never forgiven you for that one, expect an ass kicking and loss of territory in the northwest, in the future for that….

    http://shanghaiist.com/2009/05/04/chinafornia_chinazona_chutah_and_ch_1.php

    This taken from the webzine, in the city where you reside as a kindergarten teacher and can’t afford to eat lobster and drink french red wine on the Bund, without being broke for the rest of the month. The US is breaking up too, most certainly, I definitely see truth in that article. Can you? Or going to say that the UK is responsible for the breakup of the US?

    You do still have a Coonass French name. Some UK pride your parents had, eh

    Maybe Jones isn’t your real name. Maybe you are a jewboy with a cut bellend from Los Angeles and your real name is Feinberg and your daddy is an Entertainment lawyer…sorry to dissapoint, but I’m not a frog leg.

    What is your ethnicity?

    Reply
  13. Brother River Crab
    Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 10:41 am

    Oh, you English are *so* superior, aren’t you? Well, would you like to know what you’d be without us, the good ol’ U.S. of A. to protect you? I’ll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that’s what!

    If it wasn’t for us, you’d all be speaking *German!

    Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!

    Reply
  14. Teacher in China
    Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    WTF? Where did all the aggression come from Alain? You’re really coming across as completely psychotic, just to let you know.

    Reply
  15. Alain
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    Where did all the aggression come from Alain? You’re really coming across as completely psychotic, just to let you know.

    Maybe I am in a Travis Bickle stylee…some day I’ll wash all the broke ass trailer trash off the streets of Shanghai and cancel their L visas! LOL! ROFLMAO!

    And you, what’s your angle here in the PRC?>

    Reply
  16. Chika
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    @Jones
    Why dont you go F*ck yourself and hang your nasty white trailor trash self. You the kind of loser that was previously mentioned in the other article about laowai cant make it in own country and go pretending they’re all that in China. Someone please shoot this ugly TROLL.

    Reply
  17. Alain
    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    What is written there is not support, but hitting the nail on the head.

    Why can’t you answer the simple question that has been asked many times? You really are more boring than watching cement dry…Where and with Who are you living in the Southern State of Texas?

    Maybe someone else knows better than yourself, answers on a postcard to chinasmack.com

    Reply
  18. Sino_can
    Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 11:35 am

    She wants to watch in South Africa…who buys the tickets/hotel.etc?

    Reply
  19. Zhegezhege
    Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    Alain = Chinese guy who has been posting on Chinasmack for ages, really hates Jones and has been spam-posting for a few days to build credibility on his new account before he finally got around to posting the essay he wrote about his man crush following his repeated attempts to renrou him (wow, what a genius, he should be a spy!).

    Reasons why Alain is Chinese
    1) He has a very intense hatred for Jones, which is strange if he’s only been posting on here for a few days. He has created a disposable, new account, like they all do, for their personal attacks. Because he is an internet tough guy, misguidedly believing himself to be intelligent and afraid to use his main username.
    2) British people don’t hate Americans as much as Alain claims to; everything he says is the typical, hypocritical PRC version of history. Would a Brit really point the finger at the US for stealing the land and wealth of less developed people? Errrrm, no because they are the kings of that and know it. Lots of French don’t like the US, but for the same basic reason they wouldn’t talk like that.
    3) He posts some whack-fantasy about the breakup of the US that no educated European would take seriously because it is obvious nonsense that would discredit his argument. It isn’t going to happen, despite what your bosses tell you, Alain. Hope you can make it all the way through Red Dawn first time around…

    Alain, your English is good but be careful of your sanity. Being a schizo on the Internet may be the first step to being a schizo in reality. Also, your trolling skills, or indeed lack thereof, bring great shame to China. Take up your true calling in life: being an English teacher.

    Reply
  20. To Jones
    Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Hahaha.. another mention of the infamous avatar. So that is a picture of you then. It all makes sense now, the perennial defense mechanism, waiting for hours at a time to refute one of my comments.

    Oh Zhegezhege, you’re not mistaking Alain for me are you? Because failing to recognize a significant change in prose, substance and vocabulary would be embarrassing for such a blatantly accusatory type comment.

    Reply
  21. Alain
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    He has a very intense hatred for Jones

    to be fair Jones riled me before under another pseudonym, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it buster?!

    And as for, trolling, please, where are the mods?Dont blame me man!!

    Reply
  22. To Jones
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    [quote] You’re a good stalker, but your flirting skills aren’t as good now as they were a week ago [/quote]

    It’s funny that you think Chinese people lack in originality when you essentially copied what I accused you of earlier.

    Oh and uh… I can see you are getting delusional as well. Do I frequent your dreams at night? Do you check under your bed every night to check whether I’m there?

    Or is every person who notes how queer that picture looks, in fact, me?

    You know, I’ve never called anyone ugly to their face simply because it never seemed necessary. I’ll refrain from doing the same online. But I also never thought someone would be narcissistic enough to put their photo on a website thinking that they look hot.

    Reply
  23. Alain
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    I’ll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that’s what!

    No, but your country could one day be a province of China, in the western half at least. Take a good look around, people sleeping in tents. No good man.

    Reply
  24. To Jones
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    One last thing Jones,

    I revere the right to think that a narcotic troll who doesn’t go to college, unemployed (unless you call teaching English a job) and finds time to check Chinasmack hourly is a bit of a retard. Let alone someone who thinks their opinions actually mean anything when they get pushed aside to make room for a new article.

    Although I guess I have a very narrow look on life. But by my standards, you are a loser. I’ve refrained from saying it in the past because its kind of a cliche these days. You know, the stereotype of the underachieving foreigner? But could it be any less true in your case?

    Why do the same standards not apply to me? Because I’m none of the things that I’ve described about you. I check Chinasmack because its my way of procrastinating after I’ve finished reading, procreating and youtubing.

    What better way to end the day by reading some gossip about China and laughing at the inadequacies of the average commentator who I’m assured are inferior to me in every conceivable way. As an overachiever, and having read and applied the works of Nietzche and Machiavelli, I find very few people aside from the top two percentiles of the country, who mostly reside in the same university as me, as my intellectual equals.

    Yes, its too bad that in real life, I have to suck up my pride, and pretend to listen to the general percentile of sheep in society just so they think they are important and I can take advantage of their trust.

    The same formality doesn’t apply when I feel the need to point out the obvious, often negative view that I can ascertain from certain individuals online. Unfortunately for you, your avatar stood out and I took the liberty to point it out for you. It’s really as simple as that.

    And yes, I do get satisfaction from completing denigrating idiots of the average intelligence. They’re the type that are usually smart enough to post a weak argument, setting up the ground for being totally crushed in response.

    Reply
  25. To Jones
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    “It’s funny that you think Chinese people lack in originality when you essentially copied what I accused you of earlier.”
    Do what?

    - Accusing me of stalking you of course

    Remember this quote? “Why so defensive Jones? That’s six posts in one day… Feels like you’re stalking me :)”

    you don’t have yours on here because you have a self-image problem?

    - Narcissism is not the antithesis of pride in self image Jones. Narcissism is a psychological problem dictated by a self belief in ones beauty that borders on the line of obsessiveness. In your case, your own self perception is formed by your own misguided perceptions of beauty.

    Why don’t I put my image on here? Shouldn’t the answer be obvious.

    a.) What is the purpose of doing a futile act. I have no intention of using a forum to attract members of the opposite sex, nor do I have any intention to show how attractive I may look. I’ll do that in real life.

    b.) Putting your photo on here, just like having one of those personal messages girls put on their msn seeking attention?

    c.) Lastly, if you’re going to do it, then you better be able to pull it off. Here, you clearly can’t.

    Reply
  26. To Jones
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    Hahaha.. You’re digging a deeper hole for yourself now Jones.

    You mentioned in your post to Alain that you used to each little children, and your avatar picture is from 8 years ago. That makes you what, late twenties now? And you’re still going to College? So what did you do? Go to China for a holiday, decide to stay there, then start to teach children?

    I’m not a foreigner. Also, calling someone a loser when pointing out two false statements about them is pretty pathetic

    - No, I gave you the benefit of the doubt since either way, you’re still a loser. Whether its graduating at 30 or having no college education. Can’t blame for making a wrong assertion about your employment considering you check this site obsessively like you have nothing better to do.

    Looks like you and I have something in common, which is why I enjoy our little chats ; )

    Note:

    “And yes, I do get satisfaction from completing denigrating idiots of the average intelligence. They’re the type that are usually smart enough to post a weak argument, setting up the ground for being totally crushed in response.”

    Jones, I’ve never really placed our intelligence on equal footing. Most of your arguments miss point and the wrong interpretations that you infer have always been laughable. Like this one:

    debut to this site was a pathetic plea for Fauna to delete comments that were against your own nationality.

    It’s quite entertaining that this is the biggest insult you could throw. But your only other argument is that I’m actually “ALAIN”. So I guess it is an improvement.

    Reply
  27. To Jones
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Still trying Jones? Hole not deep enough yet?

    Or are you selectively ignoring what you don’t want to hear?

    Of course, I’ve aware of graduate school, which should last until you’re twenty four at the most, with no breaks in between, even if you’re attempting a jurisdoctor, which judging by the quality of your writing, you certainly aren’t.

    The part which was laughable was that you’re still in college in your late twenties if not early thirties, after teaching children until you realized how useless a degree in ‘international relations’ was.

    Especially since it took you four years of traveling until you decided to get your a ss back to college. You’re only a decade away from a midlife crisis ;)

    Considering the photo of you was from 8 years ago, I can’t imagine how old you are, still hanging with kids years younger than you.

    I’m not trying to insult you, I’m just pointing out that you seriously got onto ChinaSMACK and begged Fauna to delete non-Chinese-friendly comments and ban me from the site just because you were upset about seeing an avatar. You did the job for me.

    Nope… I never asked Fauna to delete non-Chinese friendly comments, let alone beg. But you didn’t need me to tell you that did you? I simply commented on her masochism, I actually would of found it quite funny if she banned you, since you’d probably nerdrage for months.

    Reply
  28. To Jones
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    Could you be any less predictable Jones?

    I’m glad you weren’t stupid enough to say you’re 24. I guess you decided to think twice, before coming up with an arbitrary number. Figured that 16 would be the youngest age you could claim considering the size of the photo. Not a bad choice, if I was in your position, it would be the number I would choose.

    It still doesn’t explain why you have a picture of your underage self as an avatar. Trying to lure young girls or pedobear?

    “Nerdrage” is an interesting addition, especially since you “nerdraged” on her in your debut post. Talk about a narcissist.

    Tsk tsk tsk… What did I tell you about originality Jones? The post that I wrote to Fauna is capable of self expression. You’re free to take your interpretation of it. I’d be embarrassed if, like you, I thought it was the quality of a college thesis.

    In fact, in context it merely questioned the idea of feeding a predominantly troll community. Claiming that it was nerd rage, is a wrong interpretation, albeit this interpretation being held by you.

    Reply
  29. To Jones
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    You’ve even gotten to the fact that you’ll refuse to believe my own age. Hilarious. I could ask you for your age and occupation, and regardless of what you say, I just scream “you’re lying” over and over, but hey, I don’t want to take your strategy or anything, now would I?

    Well, I wouldn’t be surprised, it wouldn’t be the first time you failed to come up with something original.

    No, the similarity (which, even then it’s still an exaggeration) is the length of your reply. However, I don’t think you’re dumb enough to not realize that it was being said facetiously. I think think you’re desperate enough for insults that you’d act like you’re you don’t get it.

    Oh i get it Jones, but like many of these posts here, they’re written in little more than five minutes. However that post was double the length, so make it ten. I’m not stupid enough to not pick out the hint of mockery that you are trying to imply however my idea of grace in expression is not to refute what is said without a hint of sarcasm (ie.. thats your length of a college thesis?)

    Yeah, see, one part of speaking a language fluently is understanding the way in which it’s used sarcastically or humorously

    Then I guess you should understand the purpose of deliberate ambiguity and selective wording. It’s your tediously predictable nature that made me assume you would reply as you did regarding your age. As well as the apparent inconsistency in your words and actions. You lack tact in your responses Jones. Try not to go around interpreting words subjectively and claiming things as you believe are true but which are objectively false.

    Why not have this as my avatar? Why are you so childishly obsessed with avatars? You should probably explain that one, because it’s getting to the point of being a bit creepy.

    Jones, why do you have an underaged picture of yourself as an avatar?

    I’m sure you will answer along the lines of ‘why not, I feel like it’ But why an UNDERAGED picture of you EIGHT years ago?

    I attribute it to the considerable inconsistency that you have responding to different people, which puts you in a position of awkwardness.

    It was your defensive inadequacy and the fact it was brought up again that referred me back. I Just thought it was annoying that someone could come up with an idea of putting a photo of what I perceived to the common hermaphrodite as an avatar. It was a comment made in passing, either get rid of it or let it go.

    Reply
  30. To Jones
    Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 11:14 am

    Well done Jones,

    But… I think the instructions on the link you gave me more closely reflect your patterns, which as I said, are tediously predictable.

    Although, I attribute your behavior closer towards the Kübler-Ross model. Denial -> Anger -> Bargaining -> Depression -> Acceptance.

    It took a good number of posts, but I’m glad you made it there.

    Reply
  31. Alain
    Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 8:09 am

    Deeply applaud ” To Jones ”

    “Riled you under the name “To Fauna”, right?”

    Jones, boyyyyy, that is not me, try again. And do change your trapper hat avatar….

    Reply
  32. bando
    Monday, June 14, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    hahaha. funny.

    i wonder who else got the joke

    Reply
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