“Services” Available At Certain “Saunas” In China Translated

Below are images of service menus or lists at various massage parlors and saunas in China where most of the services available are written as wildly esoteric Chinese idioms that reveal little about the true salacious nature of the “service” itself. Most Chinese netizens are completely baffled by the terms on the menus, while others attempt to decode and interpret what the possible meanings could be.

A list of 'services' offered at a sauna in China.

Translation:

Top: “Honored Guest Park Sauna Department”

Middle left: “The client is god, the [massage] technician is the spirit”

Middle right (blue text): “Technician [masseuse] service principle”

Middle right (red text): “There are no customers with bad character, only masseuses with bad character [service]“

A list of 'services' offered at a sauna in China.

Translation:

Massage Item – Service Price – Service Duration

Golden Foot Massage – 68 yuan – 50 minutes
Chinese-style therapy – 88 yuan – 50 minutes
Thai-style therapy – 138 yuan – 50 minutes
Heat therapy – 168 yuan – 50 minutes
Jaded hand guiding dragon – 198 yuan – 60 minutes
Connecting the pulse of the dragon – 238 yuan – 70 minutes
Illusions of love – 268 yuan – 80 minutes
Flower fragrant salt bath – 298 yuan + 100 room fee – 90 minutes
Amorous cherry blossom – 300 yuan – 45 minutes
Roaming the North Pole – 488 yuan – 60 minutes
Divine dragon sways its tail – 588 yuan – 70 minutes
Kiss of an angel – 688 yuan – 70 minutes

A list of 'services' offered at a sauna in China.

Translation:

Service Menu

Shower room service

  1. Love birds hair wash
  2. Breast rub dragon’s body
  3. Flying dragon on earth

Front service [left column]

  1. Ten finger strumming the instrument
  2. Countless ties and a thousand links
  3. Breast massage
  4. Ten fingers linked to the heart
  5. Roaming the world
  6. Green ocean
  7. Desert storm
  8. Tuck between breasts
  9. Flowing water, golden mountain
  10. Toast to the emperor
  11. Ice and fire; nine steps to heaven
  12. Star wars
  13. 360 degrees blowjob

Back service [right column]

  1. Foot massage
  2. Hand wash the dragon gate
  3. Ten finger strumming the instrument
  4. Breast massage
  5. countless ties and a thousand links
  6. Ten fingers linked to the heart
  7. Roaming the world
  8. Green ocean
  9. Desert storm
  10. Tuck between breasts
  11. Flowing water, golden mountain
  12. Lone dragon pass through
  13. Seeking the moon under the sea
  14. Topple the mountains and overturn the seas

Dragon and Phoenix Chair

  1. Wild snake dance
  2. Auspicious dragon and phoenix
  3. Bravely advance forward
  4. Embracing the moon
  5. The latter fights arrive first
  6. Rapid rise
  7. Weather the storm in the same boat
  8. True hearts face to face
  9. Rise after one falls

A list of 'services' offered at a sauna in China.

Translation:

Service Procedure Chart

  1. Bath (10 minutes)
    Water snake intertwine the waist
    Seeking the moon under the sea
    Roaming around the world
    Heaven in the seas
  2. Dance (10 minutes)
    Wild snake dance
    Wild cat frenzy
  3. King of the world (20 minutes)
    Gentle and tender
    Intimate care
    Water flow from high mountain
    Lone dragon pass through
    Circle dragon spitting balls
    Heavenly ecstasy
  4. Backside (30 minutes)
    Ten finger strumming the instrument
    Billowing life
    Music, chess, calligraphy, and painting
    Red lipped kiss
    Dragonfly touching water
    Exploring the dragon cave
    Monkey stealing peaches
    Topple the mountains and overturn the seas
  5. Front side (30 minutes)
    Jade hand Goddess of Mercy
    Xi Shi
    massage
    Chang’e’s
    kiss
    Sweet dew oozing from the heart
    Tropical rain forest
    Foot love
    Diaochan
    looking at the moon
    Ice water world
  6. Flying in the air technique (25 minutes)
    Upside Down hanging hook
    Fairy tossing flowers
    Swing
    Goose and pigeon
    Gold rooster erect
    Vast flat land
    Make money every season
    Fusion of dragon and phoenix

Comments from VOC:

民工甲:

The martial arts world hehe

WL00085:

Such good idioms, except I don’t understand them.  sweat

澧县双星:

I’ve managed “recreational/relaxation centers” before in the past, hehe, I know some of what goes on inside. haha

wjlin:

Go try them and you’ll know what they mean.

wojiaolihaolin:

Haha, a sexual service place, [this is all] normal.

人才:

What does it mean?

Comments from Mop:

幻儿幽幽:

So many I don’t understand.

penissy:

Simply [like] a book of martial art secrets [techniques, moves].

doudouyoung:

Who can explain these [for us]…[this is] too professional…

3293782:

Star Wars??

JoeyTribbiani:

KAO, louzhu went as far as posting our Shaolin Yijin Jing of Bodhidharma!

Cc紫:

Very deep/profound…[now] how do you make sense of it?

神咏刹那:

I want to try the 360 degree blowjob…

匿名人士964259:

Shower Room Service

1. Love birds hair wash (Threesome hair wash with two girls? Or a blowjob while shower)
2. Breast rub dragon’s body (No need to explain)
3. Flying dragon on earth (I don’t know)

First image
Shower Room Service

Front [service]

1. Ten finger strumming the instrument (Use hands to lightly touch the body? Not sure)
2. Countless ties and a thousand links (Use hair to tickle the body)
3. Breast massage (No need to explain)
4. Ten fingers linked to the heart (A special technique, use the index finger and thumb to form a ring then use force to pull the guest’s ten fingers until it make a popping sound)
5. Roaming the world (tongue sweeping the whole body)
6. Green world (I don’t know)
7. Desert storm (blowjob with pop rocks in mouth)
8. Tuck between breasts (I don’t know)

Back [service]

1. Foot wrap (Probably applying a hot towel to the foot, some even gnaw/nibble with their mouth)
2. Hand-wash dragon gate (washing the anus)
3 – 8 see above

Second image

9. Flowing water, golden mountain (Sweep the entire body with water in mouth)
10. Toast to the emperor (I don’t know)
11. Ice and fire; nine steps to heaven (blowjob alternating with hot water and ice in the mouth)
13. 360 degrees blowjob (Don’t need to explain)
9 – 11 see above
12. Lone dragon pass through (rim job)
13. Seeking the moon under the sea (bite/nibbling testicles)
14. Topple the mountains and overturn the seas (I don’t know)
…………….

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  • Raggamuffin

    I’m not sure what this “sofa”business is about, but based on what I’ve seen on other articles, I feel compelled to take a seat.

    • Chef Rocco

      The “sofa” business is nothing unless you take service such as “jaded hand guiding dragon” or “breast rubbing dragon’s body” while lying on it, lol..

      • Raggamuffin

        It’s true, in comparison the sofa is kinda lonely… and so many people have been here before me that it seems a bit dirty too… I could really use a “Hand-wash dragon” right about now.

  • hi

    first oh yeah
    suppp

    • Pvt. Joker

      Nice try, better luck next time.

  • Pvt. Joker

    “Hand-wash dragon gate” – does that mean next time I have to tip my proctologist?

  • Curren$y

    How much for good old vaginal penetration?

  • manusan

    688 yuan …. for an simple Handjob by a grandma.

    fucking inflation.

  • http://www.ministryoftofu.com/ Ministry of Tofu

    Fusion of dragon and phoenix

    money.

  • PUSAN PLAYA

    *7. Desert storm (blowjob with pop rocks in mouth)*

    I must try this

    • staylost

      This should’ve been the title of the article. The person who made this comment in China deserves a red star.

    • chengdont

      No doubt your BF will deeply appreciate it!

      • sunnyG

        nice one~
        yeah, playa, try it and let your mom know how it went

  • Ronon

    11. Ice and fire; nine steps to heaven (blowjob alternating with hot water and ice in the mouth)
    What kind of massage parlor is this if they don’t even know how to use the proper technique for this? If a guy requests this and he would be given that, he’d probably be quite annoyed.

    P.S. Why do I get redirected to the “this comment seems a little bit spammy” page when I try to post my comment? It gets quite annoying after a few tries…

  • http://thebigc.blog.com Scarran Brenkley

    Er… wow. The world is crumbling around our ears and we’re talking about handjobs?

    Well, we could all use a little light “relief” I suppose.

  • fool

    well we all know thats its full of protitution these massage parlours…except for some of course…but the 95% is prostitution..so why say there is no prostitution here eh?? you think we dont have eyes and ears???
    aaaaahhh!!!

    • Chef Rocco

      fool, These parlors don’t care whether you have eyes and ears, they just want to take good care of your “dragon”, do you have a “dragon”?

      • http://thebigc.blog.com Scarran Brenkley

        I have a smokin’ hot dragon.

  • Tommy

    I went to a bar in the Czech Republic once. The menu listed several things other than food.

  • Jess

    This list has me more confused than a translated-to-English menu at a Beijing restaurant…

    • pengyou

      You are foreigner people you are guest.
      Your Chinese coworkers/business partners will order for you.

  • bando

    the metaphors hurt by eyes

  • andy888

    I will go and road test the menu now

  • McCurry

    Man I wish my company send me on more business trips now. No wonder my coworkers are all so jolly when coming back from trips

  • Irvin

    lol This is new to me, I didn’t know menu exist. Usually you have to ask the pimp about the services available or ask the girls directly.

    Places with good services and girls usually do cost around 400 to 600rmb but all the girls are models/air hostess quality. I’ve heard about these saunas but I only know about the straight up whore house advertised as “hotels” that are opened by kids of government officials.

    Anyway, what always surprised me is how these places are so readily available yet people still behaved like sex starved teenagers yet to have their cherry pop.

  • Curt

    Interesting that “10 fingers strumming the instrument” is obvious to English speakers but not to the Chinese netizen.

  • Carlos

    Who knows what these means, it could be anything, couldn’t they come up with something more obvious like,

    Panda descending on Dragon’s back. 300yuan
    Great Wall of China needs paint job. 400 yuan
    Ming Warrior with family of four. 350 yuan
    Man with only one chopstick. 250 yuan.
    Tiger loses glasses and cannot read. 500 yuan
    Scorpion takes summer vacation. 300 yuan.
    Go to Go and Collect 200 yuan.

    I think these would be a much more understandable list.
    Haha.

    • golden shower

      Haha, oh snap, love those new names Carlos, laughed my ass off.

      The flowing water, golden mountain service sounds vaguely familiar, anyone into water sports?

  • http://www.rosettatranslation.com/ Rosetta Translation

    So interesting, one of those cases where even the best translation still leaves one completely bewildered :).

    A few are somewhat transparent, but I would LOVE to know what ‘Roaming the North Pole’ refers to…

  • hilin1212

    i like chines girl

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