Chinese Husband Eager To Let Wife Be A Rich Man’s Mistress

Funny viral video: Chinese husband more than happy to let wife be a rich man's mistress.

The following video on popular Chinese video sharing service Youku is currently amongst the top 5 most viewed videos of the day, having been viewed over 850k times since it was uploaded two days ago as it spreads on Chinese social networks like RenRen and QQ.

From Youku:

Husband turns out to be “someone who eats soft rice”

A casual conversation between a loving couple, where the wife unexpectedly discovers that her husband is “someone who eats soft rice”.

See below for English translation and transcription of the Chinese dialogue.

A copy on YouTube with our translated English subtitles:

Can’t see the above video?

Our translated transcript of the dialogue in the video:

WIFE:
What are you doing?

HUSBAND:
A fine leg.

Wife, how about we play a fire truck game?

WIFE:
Okay, how do you play?

HUSBAND:
My two fingers here is the fire truck.

This fire truck will travel on your leg.

If you want it to stop, all you have to do is yell “red light!”

WIFE:
Alright.

HUSBAND:
Alright.

A fire! The fire truck has been dispatched! Woooo~

WIFE:
Red light! Red light! Red light!

HUSBAND:
Fire trucks don’t stop for red lights.

WIFE:
I knew it. You’re such a dork. I’m getting ready to go out, stop wasting my time.

HUSBAND:
Where are you thinking of going making yourself so pretty?

WIFE:
Going to the beauty salon. Look at my skin, I need to take good care of it.

RADIO:
If skin color is reddish, and the fine hair on the face is soft, then it means the person is very healthy.

HUSBAND:
You hear, even the radio says [if the] skin is reddish, skin hair soft, then you’re very healthy.

RADIO:
Okay, listeners, our informational segment on raising pigs ends here.

WIFE:
SO you’re saying I’m a pig!

HUSBAND:
A wife should of course be raised like a pig, to be white and plump, how great that would be!

WIFE:
That’s what you think. You think raising [financially provide for] a wife is easy?

People say, an ugly wife is like a fan, saves both electricity and money.

But a pretty wife like me is like an air conditioner, uses a lot of electricity and money.

With the money you make in a month it isn’t even enough for me to go to the beauty salon, not enough to buy a piece of clothing, and you say you want to raise me.

HUSBAND:
Wife, you’re no longer an air conditioner.

WIFE:
Then what am I?

HUSBAND:
You’re central air conditioning.

WIFE:
Dork, what? You think I use too much electricity?

Did you know? Boss Zhang even says I save electricity.

HUSBAND:
His family runs a power plant?

WIFE:
No, he’s a client of mine.

Do you know? One day I said I wanted a car and the next day he brought me one.

HUSBAND:
What kind of car?

WIFE:
A mountain bike.

HUSBAND:
He bought such an expensive thing?

WIFE:
Do you know? I refused to accept it. He pursued me for many days.

HUSBAND:
Take it!

WIFE:
What? If I take it, what am I going to do in the future?

HUSBAND:
Take it and we can sell it! We can then spend the money from selling it!

WIFE:
And that’s okay? Please, he wants to spend money to keep me as his mistress, don’t you understand?

HUSBAND:
What?

WIFE:
Exactly.

HUSBAND:
That’s great!

WIFE:
What?

HUSBAND:
He can spend money to provide for you, and then you can spend money to provide for me!

WIFE:
What are trying to say? You want me to be with him?

You think I’m dirty now?

HUSBAND:
No, I’m just spreading it evenly.

WIFE:
Either way, I don’t want to separate from you.

HUSBAND:
We’re not going to separate

You be with him on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays you’ll be with me.

WIFE:
Then what about Sundays?

HUSBAND:
You take the day off.

Aiya!

A Chinese woman with long legs combing her hair.

A Chinese man admiring a beautiful leg.

The Chinese wife reacting with incredulity.

Comments from Youku:

453054274:

All that talk about beauty care, having a car, being fully financially supported, just look at the morals and attitudes of our time.

valentinorossi:

Indeed very pretty, and her body is very nice too. Haha.

JJYY靉:

赞赞赞 Haha, fire truck, that was funny!!

8181881:

Central air conditioning for everyone to share~

itsok007:

Breasts are beautiful, legs also beautiful, face isn’t bad either, if I were to find [a girl/wife] of this standard, I’d be “playing” with her every day! 搞笑

上错岸:

搞笑 “Eating soft rice” is actually a technical job, not one anyone can do. If you’re ugly and you don’t have money nor house nor car nor personal charm, you can try and still not succeed! So, they can only enviously go criticize those who have the ability to do so! Hahahahaha!

慎敲键:

What a spoof/parody! This brother is such a genius, letting his wife be kept by another man, so he himself can make some money to go keep another woman [as a mistress]!

一碗干饭:

Genius.

恨死害我的牙医:

My old significant other was also someone who eats soft rice, refusing to work and make money himself, and we eventually broke up. He ultimately realized his dream, finding a rich girl. Even if she’s ugly, he’s said before that as long as the girl gives him money to spend and the girl has money, even if she has issues it isn’t a problem.

2312412515:

This woman has been in X-rated films before.

足フェティシスト:

The legs of the woman in the video are really beautiful, I really want to lick the woman in the video’s legs.

evan77: (responding to above)

…Can you not be so straightforward?

Many of the comments mention Gan Lulu, a minor internet celebrity, probably because the woman in this video also has a voluptuous bosom and is openly showing off her body on video.

Poll

Women, would you accept your husband living off of you financially? Men, would you accept living off of your wife financially?

View Results

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The eager Chinese husband.

Husband eats soft rice? Personals @ chinaSMACK.

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  • Dark Canuck

    Haha Would love to Be a house husband, that way I could watch the NFLN and drink beer and never have to worry about anything, gotta have dreams!!! As long as money comes in I wouldn’t question where it would come from.

    • Dark Canuck

      oh yeah SOFA!!!

    • Marsvin

      No moral objections of course but I dunno man, if she threw you out you’d be living in the streets and by then you wouldn’t be young and pretty any more ;D

      • Jack

        That’s why you gotta marry a nice Catholic girl! :D

        • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

          … or else a life devoted to baseball, football or some other organized sport won’t make any sense when no one is hounding you to want to spend time all your free time on a useless hobby.

    • Spanky

      We call that guytai in Shanghai.

  • JAYJAY

    Looking at the picuture, that’s a man!! (I can watch the video. I am at work and they blocked all the video streaming sites)

    • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

      Is it any wonder why females depicted in video games, anime and online need to have insanely exaggerated and unreal feminine characteristics?

      Dude, stop playing Soul Calibur 4 and pay attention to the chick beside you on the train/elevator/real life. Ivy and Taki are not human; the erroneously-named “man” in the pic/video is.

      That said, I can NOT wait for 5, let alone SF vs Tekken/vice versa.

  • http://www.qq.com/1325279774 Kedafu

    Reading this article+translation, I thought of the lyrics…..

    “bitches like you is bad for my health….”

    “its like a jungle sometimes, it makes me from keeping from going under…..”

    Song of Article

    Check Yo Self
    -Ice Cube

    wumaodang

  • lonetrey

    hmmm. It’s all about consent. If the other in the relationship allows it, sure, i guess. I feel like this question is sorta like “Would you allow your significant other get fat and lazy?” There’s a “good answer” (which is “No! I want him/her to be productive!”) but there’s no “right answer”. It’s really personal choice.

    The obvious downfall is that the husband cripples himself by training himself to be a little lazy. If the relationship goes south, he’s going to have to try extra hard to support himself in the future.

    • anon

      Yes, it is personal choice and there will certainly be some people who are perfectly fine with such a situation.

      Methinks, however, that most of the votes in the poll so far are based in being politically correct than being honest. I could be wrong, but personal experience tells me that the vast majority of men and women still believe the guy should be the main breadwinner of the family.

    • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

      Disagree. This has nothing to do with consent. This isn’t the West where people can just arbitrarily just decide to disavow personal pronouns and have no difference between boys and girls like they did in Canada or Sweden or wherever.

      This has to do with social standing, and how some people will always be poor (or at least think they will be poor), and so will always be at a disadvantage to other richer groups. The husbands wants money for free, and so “pimps” out his wife as so (and therefore, laughter ensues).

      But: this disadvantage will always be there, and said people will always be at the mercy of the rich – like say, Indonesian and Thai maids who go abroad to work (and get mistreated/killed); you can say hey, “Indecent Proposal”, but I say “Roots”.

      • maja

        are you talking about how, in most cases, women earn less then men or how chinese people with no/less money accept to be abused by the richer ones or… something else?

  • donscarletti

    Wow, so far the votes are 78% male.

    By the way, I know a particular man who tells me that he wants to marry a rich woman, it seems pretty pathetic. Though maybe one must be a pathetic man to have a powerful woman, Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s boyfriend sure fits that description. Dennis Thatcher however wore his own set of trousers, or culottes at least by putting the Iron Lady through law school.

    Oh, by the way, I answered a resolute “no” to living off my wife, though if she came home one day and announced a pay-rise to be higher than my salary, I would be thrilled since this would mean greater security for both of us, though if she was particularly conscious of this, I would quickly become conscious of it too.

  • vince

    Correct me if I’m wrong but since when is a mountain bike a brand of car?
    HUSBAND:
    What kind of car?

    WIFE:
    A mountain bike.

    HUSBAND:
    He bought such an expensive thing?

    • Shanghairen

      This is a play on words which only works in Chinese. The literal translation of “bicycle” (自行车) in Chinese is “self-car”, so you can playfully say that a bicycle is a type of car.

      • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

        Yes. But the difference between a car and a wife is that you drive a car, while the wife will drive you crazy.

        Okay, I’m done now.

      • Sunshine

        The funny thing is, the literal translation of 自行车 would be self-moving car, which is pretty much the definition for automobile. Bicycle (being two circles), makes much more sense than 自行车 for that particular tool.

        • anon

          Do you think the “自” in “自行车” refers to the rider, as the rider’s legs are propelling the “车”? As opposed to the “self” referring to the car itself?

  • Jones

    Heh…the firetruck…

  • Marsvin

    We need a poll for the opposite question too, “would you let your wife live off you financially // would you want to be completely dependent on your husband” :P

  • Appalled@everything

    Ha! Love this guy! that was an excellent little send-up.

  • Bu yao

    To each there own, who am I to judge another? While I personally would not allow this I would not look down on someone else who is OK with it.

  • Jess

    It would of been funnier if he got hit over the head with a wok!

  • Ben

    This is a sitcom you moron! This is not news item! Bodoh!!!!

    • anon

      And? Was Miss Puff a news item?

    • Just John

      You mistake chinaSMACK.

      This is NOT a news site.
      This is an x subject is being talked about a lot in China, so lets translate it and post it in English.

      They take currently popular topics from Chinese internet and repost it so us ignorant English speakers can read it in English instead of learning the language, resorting to Google translate, or not bothering to know what current Chinese are talking about on the internet.

      Sheeeeesh, if you want Chinese news, turn on CCTV……

  • Foreign Devil

    If his wife sleeps with her boss for money and he gets a big cut of the money. ..that is what we call a “Pimp” in the west. Probably he would also start looking for some more ho’s to increase his revenue. ANyways most pimps always start first with their girlfriend or wife.

    • Just John

      I started with your wife AND girlfriend.

      Just putting it out there….

    • Jack

      Thanks for the inside scoop on how to become a pimp.

  • 平凡人

    It’s not easy living off a woman, you need a guy who is good on…. and a real bimbo.

  • Just John

    This reminds me a bit of the movie “Indecent proposal”, only in that movie, it was one night, and $1 million, not permanent mistress, and a mountain bike.

    I won’t say what I am thinking beyond that…..

    • anon

      Yeah, I thought of that movie instantly as well. We’re showing our age though.

  • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

    This is drat awesome. It has some funny lines (I don’t get “spreading it evenly” unless he’s pushing her spit across his face), but it’s so awesome because it falls under the “it’s funny because it’s true” syndrone, the one thing China really really needs.

    Best two comments are the very last two: serious or not, it highlights the epitome of Chinese culture: the act of expression versus the act of covering up what you want to say/not say.

    Euphanisms and metaphors is what will change China, not the GDP or a monetary value.

    • Just John

      Think the spread even part was, each guy gets her the same amount of days.

      Husband = 3 days
      The other lover = 3 days
      Of course, guess the wife’s days she gets herself is a bit lopsided, she only gets herself 1 day.

      I would suggest a better plan.

      Give her to the other guy days, and the husband keeps her nights.

      Something like 8 PM to 8 AM, Husband, 8 AM to 8 PM, other guy.

      • anon

        It was her spittle. When she responded angrily, you can see that some of her spit hit his face prompting him to wipe it off. She sees this and asks him if he considers her spittle dirty (as husband and wife have surely exchanged plenty of saliva). He comically responds by saying no he was just spreading it around more evenly. It’s actually quite a cute response a guy can give a girl.

        • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

          [that other comment was for justjohn, this one is for you]

          Too soon.

          I’m was afraid of this, which is why I’m reluctant to have to inform you… I’m not ready to laugh at spittle yet, it’s too sensitive a subject. Someone hawked a loogey not 5min ago, and I’m not ready to laugh about it. Someday, maybe, when I and the country are strong and are ready to laugh at something so ingrained into the public consciousness.

          Til then, sir: for shame. That was simply not funny. I have lost my face over this so severely you can see past my pores and into my sweat glands. Do you know not when to stop? How many children must cry over your aggressions? Nay, sir: I call thee out, Mr-Joke-Too-Soon!

          • anon

            Sometimes you say something rather amusing. Other times, I don’t really get what joke you’re trying to make or it seems a bit forced. Nothing personal, I’m not good at humor myself but just saying. Anyway, I thought that was a funny gag in the video.

          • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

            @anon: if you think my jokes are forced, what do you think of all the other marginalized opinions of other people? Milquetoast?

      • http://candosino.wordpress.com terroir

        Song of the Comment:

        “She Works Hard for the Money” (so you better treat her right!)
        – Donna Summer

        runner-up:
        Ode to Ho
        – any hiphop song ya wanna think of

  • FYIADragoon

    Calling all beta males, your role model is this man.

  • Justin

    This probably looks like spam, but it isn’t. My friend met some Chinese Woman off that site Dateinasia.com and now he is totally 吃着 the 软饭. That site is full of 30-something leftovers, many of whom have 现金 and are very desperate to bag a man before the clock runs out. She hooked him up with a Land Rover, a bank account with like 50,000 RMB in it, and they take vacations in the Maldives, Paris, etc. and eat at 5-star Michelin-rated restaurants. Now they’re married and he’s on easy street. He still works, but not very hard.

    • baijiansi

      He traded his balls for money. Good for him, i guess.

    • hoots

      who could hate on that? nicely played.

    • donscarletti

      Um, dude, there aren’t any 5-star Michelin-rated restaurants, it goes up to 3 and those are pretty rare.
      To borrow from your writing style: I suspect that is 谎报 to cover up him 丢面子 because that 阿姨 is 办ing his 事, or the restaurant has a 假的星级 and your 傻逼朋友 is too much of a 饭桶 to 分辨.

      Actually, that sounds like the inverse of when pretentious Shanghainese chat in Starbucks: “我给客户推荐integrate一个multi-dimensional market analysis模式,集成之后可以开始分析current business requirements.”

      • mlgb

        Haha. Best comment of the article.

  • DongDong

    Hey guys,

    there’s a mistranslation in the next to last comment. The guy says “I really want to lick” the woman legs, not “I really want to like”. Then the very last comment answering to it makes more sense :)

    • http://www.chinasmack.com Fauna

      Thank you! I have fixed the misspelling! So embarrassing!

  • Cleo

    Wow, this kind of conversation is no fun for third party observers. It’s just like the dialogue between Tori Spelling and her stolen husband on their USA reality show.

    • Just John

      Cleo, we ask you yet again, why are you here?

      Your insight is about as useful as led plated swimming fins.
      Your wit is about as funny as a baby thrown out the window during an argument.
      Your brain is about as active as the fish on my plate.

  • Bereaver

    I really don’t understand what the question means. There are many different options that would change the outcome of my answer. Such as……..

    If I was to be supported by my wife, how hard would she have to work? I mean, I would love to support my wife if all I did light management for a big company.

    If the job IS easy, what kind of job is it? A mistress? I wouldn’t be with her longer than it took me to pack my things. And I would hope she would feel the same way about me too.

    • Just John

      I think the “Question” is separate from the 小三 issue.

      The question is, would you, as a man, the traditional breadwinner, be willing to let your wife take over the traditional breadwinner role, which, in western countries might be becoming more acceptable, but in countries like China, is still very much against the social norm.

      The other side is, would you, as a woman (If you are a woman) (I painted the “male” image first because, as my name implies, I am a man), be willing to be the breadwinner for your family and let your husband take on the traditionally female role of housekeeper.

      It is all about societies perspective norms and values and is directly asking you to vote on which way you view it, depending on if you are the “male” in a situation or the “female”.

      Me, I would let my wife support me, depending on the relative levels. If my wife had the capability of making an income significantly higher then mine, so mine would mean little in the relative household cash flow, then it would probably be better if I was taking care of kids, pets, housework, etc. However, since my current situation is such that I make the more substantial part of our household income, I would not be able to in good consciousness do this.

      • anon

        But the question is complicated by more than just levels of income relative to household needs. It’s also about whether or not you think your significant other feels the same way as you might. A man may be fine with not being the breadwinner, but will his wife? Will she look down upon him for it? Will she eventually betray him because of it? I think there are more mental/psychological factors at play with such a question than actual practical considerations.

        • maja

          I think the matter is 90% about the “you will respect me as a man” side. as for me: if you wouldn’t, bye bye.

  • Irvin

    To be fair, soft rice is easier to eat than hard rice.

  • DUXESTLUX

    The most disgusting thing is the use they make of our greta “white music” in the background. You fucking 5,000 years of non history people use your goddam er hu to tell your amoral stories

    • monyxie

      is this…racism?

      • Elaine Ten Yeung

        this is just fucking racist

  • bunny99

    If they both get HIV

    the medical expenses involved in dying slowly will be more than he got from the rich guy – it seems to be a bad risk.

  • http://unblockfacebookinchina.info/vpn-in-china Rod

    I don’t know, the guy sounds like kind of a joker. I think he was just kidding about it. Maybe he entertained the idea, but I think if it came down to it, he wouldn’t go for it.

  • GuanYu

    That laugh track is just brutal.

  • mistyken

    dang gotta love the firetruck ~_~

  • trouse

    GOOD HUSBAND, typical chinese man, throw him in a pit!

  • http://www.BeautyCastleS.com/ Jolie Chen

    Very funny show

    (BeautyCastles.com
    – K&J Fashion)

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