Jokes & Humor

Boys, Boyfriends, Young Men & Fathers

by on Saturday, June 16, 2012 29 comments comments

Why do so many guys love watching the UEFA European Cup? The reason is very simple: The AFC Asian/African/American Cups are all “A-Cups”, but the Euro Cup is an “E-Cup”…

male editors publish feature stories about football stars' girlfriends

The headline reads: "No girlfriend? Might as well look at those of football stars!"

This couple’s “battle outfits” are so loud people have to avert their eyes… By the way, may one of them make it into Tsinghua University and the other into Peking University.

A gay student couple took the gaokao exam

[Note: Couples sometimes wear matching outfits or t-shirts. The t-shirts or "battle outfits" the gay student couple above are wearing respectively read 攻 gōng ("top/giver") and 受 shòu ("bottom/taker"). "Loud" here would refer to how openly they are advertising their sexuality.]

He’s a university student, he’s a high school student. They made the promise that he would do everything he could to get into his university. After the college entrance exam, they kissed passionately outside the testing site…

A gay student couple kissing after the Gaokao exam

The class graduation photo of a certain science and engineering college.

class photo for graduation at a natural sciences and engineering college

Graduation photo: “In those years, our youth was wasted by our left hands…

graduation photo exposed male college students' over-masturbation

[Note: These words on the above banner were taken from the popular Taiwan movie You Are the Apple of My Eye, which described that when the male college students watched Japanese porn movies, they used their left hands to masturbate while using their right hands to control the mouse.]

Han Han: Could you please give me an autograph?
Ma Ying-jeou: Did you bring a pen?
Han Han: Yes.
Fang Zhouzi (suddenly jumping out): Hahahaha, Han Han, you finally admit you have a ghostwriter!

Han Han and Ma Ying-jeou

[Note: Fang Zhouzi has been accusing Han Han, a popular post-80s generation author and blogger, of using ghostwriters since February 2012. 有带笔 "bring a pen" and 有代笔 "have a ghostwriter" are homophones (yŏu dài bĭ).]

I really want to know how well these NIKE caps are selling…

Nike's green caps read "SB"

[Note: In China, the letters "SB" means--generously--"idiot", and there exists the common Chinese phrase "wearing a green cap" that is used to describe a man whose wife is cheating on him.]

The diaosi‘s definition of romantic…

An annual eclipse resembles a ring

One must have a daughter in his lifetime. From when she’s small, you’d let her have long hair, with bangs, and have her wear little boots. In Spring, you’d take her everywhere to play, and make a flower garland to wear on her head. In Summer, you’d buy her ice pops to eat. In Fall, you’d take her for a walk along a stone path covered with fallen leaves. In Winter, you’d have snowball fights with her, until she angrily says, “I don’t wanna play with you anymore, you’re a bad man!” When she goes to school, you’ll braid her hair into pigtails, and listen to her cute little voice as she reads her textbooks…and then when she gets married, you’ll be drenched with tears…

Father and daughter cooperated on performing maritial arts for fun

Never ever let guys take care of children!

Father held his baby with his legs

Father used the stroller as the shopping cart

father read playboy with the baby

Fathers threw babies in the air

Like father, like son

Father played computuer games and put his baby in front of the computer

  • Little Wolf

    Got nothin for this topic yet. I’m just pimping the new BRETT HUNAN:CYBER-SLEUTH over on the CHINESE POPSONG HUAZI “WHAT I HEARD” thread. (that song sucks by the way)

    • mr. wiener

      Sofa it reads pretty well.

    • linette

      Little Wolf:

      You finished the story already? What did you write? Let me go check.

  • D. Tective

    On the sofa?

    • D. Tective

      Missed by 6 minutes… so near yet sofa..

  • the ace of books

    lolling at the graduation class photo, because I know classes like that.

    Also, at the father-and-baby photos, because they’re just funny.

    顶 the gay photos, but a little iffy about the 攻/受 shirts, because don’t they know about switches over here? Or does Chinese gay culture polarize roles more than Western gay culture? (A friend of mine over here was confused at himself and I had to explain the word to him, and that it was okay to be…)

    • mr. wiener

      They don’t take homosexuality terribly seriously in China, maybe a good thing. On the other hand, it’s seen as a “phase you’re going through” or a preference that shouldn’t interfere with your duty to marry, reproduce and perpetuate the family’s name.
      These guy are young and in college. Maybe it is just a period they are going thru. I remember back in uni some hard core dykes would sneer at college girl lesbians as “lipstick lesbians” or “LTG” [lesbians 'til graduation]

      • the ace of books

        “they don’t take homosexuality terribly seriously in China”

        So I’ve noticed, through talking to friends. Not sure if this is just young people – still seeing what people say about it – but from what I’ve seen, this can be both a good and a bad thing. The end of your paragraph I’ve also heard mentioned as one of the ways of gay relationships either ending or needing to be shuffled into the ‘shameful’ background.

        Could be. Could be they’re experimenting. Could be they’re bi. Don’t know ‘em, so I can’t say.

        • Wu

          Most people might not take it seriously as long as you have a kid ( or give you parents a grandkid ). Then people will just say “She/He did their job, let them go do whoever they want”

    • donscarletti

      Switches are not as common as heterosexuals often believe. I think one can just assume that Mr 攻 loves to fuck Mr 受’s arse, which is appreciated in turn, and no amount of your political correctness about “polarization” from you can change that. What your “switches” do in their own home is of no consequence to either of those young men, who proudly state their own sexuality on their shirt.

      • the ace of books

        Cool beans on the assuming it’s political correctness, and not, you know, personal experience and discussion with people I’ve known in different countries and cultures! I ain’t saying all gays are switches, because that’s obviously not the case. I’m just saying it’s limiting to assume one role and let it completely define you.

        Cool beans also on the veiled assumption that I’m heterosexual. Because those are always wacky fun :D

  • Foreign Devil

    Wow China is more openly gay than I thought they would be. I guess the lack of religion there helps. No religious bigots.

    That last photo of the guy with his baby beside the keyboard made me laugh.

  • Sponge Monkey

    I’m just gonna directly hack a quote from Wikipedia.

    “Homosexuality has been legal in the mainland PRC since 1997; it was removed from the Ministry of Health’s list of mental illnesses in 2001. Same-sex unions and adoptions are not legal, and there are no anti-discrimination laws. Though men who have sex with men are included in anti-HIV efforts, gay relationships are censored from television and movies, and police raids continued in 2010.”

    As for society in general, it’s a strange thing. You don’t get the feeling you do in North America where there’s a lot of “gay bashing” (in many cases, violent gay bashing). You don’t really have a “hate” against it.

    It’s certainly not open, though. Those two guys are not a common scene in the China I’ve seen.

    I think society, in general, just thinks it’s weird. Thinking about any movies or tv my wife has seen. Now, she’s fine with it, but I still remember the beginning where I’d get these gasps of shock whenever I was explaining that a character in a story preferred to be with his own sex.

    • Sponge Monkey

      I really like the pic of the guy shopping with the groceries all over his kid… Trying to find the source now, cuz the newspaper in the background isn’t English.

      Ah, Indonesia. Well Indonesia man, as a fellow father, just one word: FAIL :)

      • Wu

        Maybe the kid likes it. Half those things come out fo the fridge. Could be there is not A/C in the store… I think I would have been fine with this if I was the kid. “Look how much dad loves me, he is keeping me cool on a hot summer day!”

      • El Puma R.

        Sponge monkey

        I usually throw my gf’s nephew quite high and her family go mental every time I do it. The kid asks me to do it anyway and me, being a part of his family, I can make him stronger, less of a sissy and smarter than the other kids ;) … so I’ll keep doing it. You should see his face when he gets to zero gravity.

    • the ace of books

      “As for society in general, it’s a strange thing. You don’t get the feeling you do in North America where there’s a lot of “gay bashing” (in many cases, violent gay bashing). You don’t really have a “hate” against it. [...] I think society, in general, just thinks it’s weird.”

      See, I agree with this view of it. Certainly you don’t see the visible, violent response as you in in the States. But, having spoken to people, I get a feeling that it’s held in a certain opprobrium, stronger in some places/among some people than others. Again, big difference between generations and localities, but there’s a lot of joking, and a lot of ignoring of it as a thing. Hate? maybe not hate. Negligence? Dunno what to call it.

  • lonetrey

    I feel like I’ve seen that Hadoken/baby gif before, though with a smaller baby.

  • Notorious

    father/kids pictures are hilarious. the one where the baby is thrown higher in the air by the father lol and the one where the man’s daughter pretends she is blasted back on the bed, and then the one with the father and son wearing no shirts and the one where a dad locks his legs around the baby’s head are the funniest. lol

    • Xiongmao

      I think one has to have lived under a rock not to know the ‘Throw-baby’ picture is a photoshop by now.

  • linette

    …….One must have a daughter in his lifetime. From when she’s small, you’d let her ………………………..she gets married, you’ll be drenched with tears…

    That is so bitter sweet…love it.

    ……….Never ever let guys take care of children!…..

    This one is so funny. The guy with playboy magazine. The other guy shopping with grocery all over his kid. A dude busy playing video game while baby sitting…my god!! More guys throwing babies into the air. wow….

    • El Puma R.

      Linette

      I think that’s why kids -in general- have a mom…. and a dad, don’t you think ?
      My best friend’s son can climb like I’ve never seen and he’s not only 4 years old, the kid’s also smart, fierce and fearless.

      Teach the children to be confident, to trust people… for example, throwing the baby in the air builds up his/her confidence and trust in the parent, and the child enjoys it too.
      Whenever one of my students tell me one of his/her parents play computer with them, it makes me feel a little relieved because I’m used to see how weak and dependent most of they are.

      • linette

        Teach the children to be confident, to trust people… for example, throwing the baby in the air builds up his/her confidence and trust in the parent, ………….

        Is that true? child psychology? This is the first time I hear this. I do believe parents playing with kids like games and activities can form better bonding. Parents these days are so busy they don’t get too involved with their kids anymore.

    • El Puma R.

      Sh** I didn’t see the guy playing on the computer with his kid! I mean I don’t mind, being china and all, but what I really mind is the ashtray next to the baby’s head.

      As for the playboy one, that baby is either thinking “holy Jesus! those are significantly better looking that mom’s” or “Too early for me to see that, Dad”

      • linette

        no, the baby is thinking “dame, I am getting hungry. please feed me.”

  • Sponge Monkey

    For all you fathers in the house, hope you had a great Father’s Day. I had a lot of fun! My daughter and my nephew “cooked dinner”. Peanut butter sandwiches! Yum!

    And love those pics of the dads!

  • Xiongmao

    There seem to be a surprising amount of comments regarding the Throw-baby-in-the-air picture. If you’ve ever had access to this weird thing called the Interwebz you’d know that it’s -of course- photoshopped.

  • http://www.facebook.com/noman.shahani Noman Aijaz Shahani

    god

  • http://www.facebook.com/noman.shahani Noman Aijaz Shahani

    nice

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