Gymnast Feng Zhe and the 2012 London Olympics

Feng Zhe with two thumbs up.

Chinese Olympian Feng Zhe‘s Sina Weibo account @冯喆小胖 (Feng Zhe Little Fatty) has attracted more than two million followers as of today. The gymnast wowed the public with jokes and quips he created or adapted about him and his coach Wang Hongwei, and has been dubbed “the gymnastic world’s xiangsheng genius” on the Chinese internet.

[Xiangsheng is a form of Chinese stand-up comedy.]

Feng Zhe’s July 24th Sina Weibo post:

The training after entering the [Olympic] Village over the past two days has been quite exhausting! The Olympic Committee probably doesn’t allow athletes to post [training] plans on their microblogs, so I’ll just tell you about our training load! First thing in the morning, as soon as we get out of the elevator, we have to say “a ni a se yo” 37 times to the Korean team next to us! And then “gong ni ji wa” 15 times! “Beng shu” 20 times! “Good mo gen” 26 times! “Gu de mo ling” nearly 100 times! Ah, you tell us whether we would not be exhausted or not! And that is only for one morning!

Feng Zhe in a rain jacket, arms crossed.

Feng Zhe’s July 28th Sina Weibo post:

The O2 Arena isn’t anything special! The women’s toilets are always haunted. Every time I go inside, I would hear bursts of ethereal shrieking, but nothing like that happens in the men’s toilets. I hope the Olympic Organizing Committee will launch an investigation into this.

Feng Zhe drinking water at the 2012 London Olympic Games.

Feng Zhe’s July 30th Sina Weibo post:

Coach Wang truly doesn’t have it easy, taking the subway back and forth every day just for [fellow Chinese gymnast] Yibing‘s and my training. In order to understand the English map of the metro and the game schedules given by the Olympic Organizing Committee, Coach Wang spent two days looking up each and every new word in the dictionary, and then used a pencil to meticulously write down the Chinese translations on the map and the competition rules handbook. Deeply moved, and in order to take advantage of this golden opportunity to help him improve his memory of vocabulary, I took an eraser and erased all of Coach Wang’s Chinese characters while he was sleeping.

Feng Zhe Chinese Olympan rings iPhone case.

Feng Zhe’s August 3rd Sina Weibo post:

As Chinese people, our knowledge and understanding of Korea’s outstanding athletes all begins with their appeals.

Feng Zhe, Chinese Olympic gymnast.

More Chinese jokes and humor about the 2012 London Olympic Games

“Report to our dear Supreme Leader, the Supreme Commander of the Republic, the little sun of the people Comrade Kim Jong Un simida that Comrade Ri Chun-hee finally has a successor simida!”

Shin A-Lam 01

Shin A-Lam 02

[Note: The above photos feature South Korean Olympic fencer Shin A-Lam staging a tearful, hour-long sit-in protest over Olympic judging. She eventually received a consolation medal recognizing her sportsmanship. Ri Chun-hee is the famous North Korean news anchorwoman famous for her characteristic emotional and sometimes vitriolic news reporting.]

They’re diving with their lives…

diving athlete 01

Diving athlete 02

Diving athlete 03

Diving athlete 05

Diving athlete 06

Question: Why did Ye Shiwen swim that fast and win the championship? Answer: Because the Pisces Ye Shiwen’s English name is ‘Yes Win!’

Ye Shiwen 01

Just saw someone say: Sun Yang should just marry Ye Shiwen. Have four sons and four daughters, and China will dominate swimming from 2032 to 2044. —— Below this was a legendary comment: If they got married, the age-old conundrum of whether one should “save the wife first or the mother first” would truly be solved…. Cracked me up!

Sun Yang and Ye Shiwen

I’ve discovered a problem, with the London Olympics! If we: Win! No! You must have used performance-enhancing drugs! Draw! Still no!!! We’ll put your national flag at the bottom [referring to a controversy where China’s flag was hung below South Korea’s flag despite the custom for ties/draws being to hang the flags side by side]!! Lose! Still no!!! You are competing in a passive way and not living up to the spirit of sportsmanship!!! Then just what do you want from us?!

Sun Yang 01

The foreign media should really stop their hyping [slandering] now!!! If we really had such niu and unnatural drugs, we would’ve first given it to our men’s national football team, okay?!!!

The Chinese men's national football team

[Note: China’s men’s football team is popularly regarded as the great shame of China and Chinese sports fans for their lack of competitiveness and the persistent problems that plague their sport and league. Suffice to say, China’s football team did not make it to the Olympics.]

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  • I wish I could punch these people for these “jokes”.

    • sm

      what, these jokes are quite amusing.

      • hess

        • Mongojian

          I find british humor better. I mean, the whole 2012 London Olympics are a big joke, aren’t they?

          • hess

            I have no idea, I can’t think of anything more boring than the olympics.

          • Mongojian

            hess, I can think of 1 thing more boring than the Olympic games. The CCTV program during Chinese New Year.

          • hess

            you win again

    • mr. wiener

      lost in translation I guess.

  • The Acidic Hasidic

    有一个坏轮的购物车

  • B*tches, Leave

    The 2012 Olympics are quite amusing without these jokes :)

  • Dingles

    Chinese humor is so corny.

  • Mengkong

    This guy is touted as China’s next online “xiangsheng genius”? Really?

    Sounds like just another political shill to me, and a not-very-clever one at that. Don’t quit your day job, dude…

  • Jahar

    His jokes are better than most I’ve heard.At least I know what the funny part is supposed to be. The women’s locker room one isn’t bad.

  • Dat Ankle

    The two swimmers look like brother and sister…

    • nufio

      you mean they look like brothers.

  • To give credit where credit is due, his jokes are quite good.

  • Sean

    They sure have a lot of gold medals for a country that “only goes 80%” so as to not make others look bad. The Chinese could truly win every event if they wanted to!

    • El pedro negro

      And the US just landed on Mars. Meanwhile, 77 people drowned in the Capital after a rainstorm.

      The Chinese could TRULY be a first world country if it weren’t so obsessed with trying to prove that it isn’t weak.

      • Pada

        US landed on Mars? Guess the Mars rover was also made by some of over 2.2 millions clorching prisoners behind the democratic bars.

        http://www.space.com/16783-san-quentin-inmates-nasa-satellite-parts.html

        But encouraging sign is you’ve finally learnt the new trick to compare US with China, though you forget how Bush hovered in chopper over Katrina for only 30 minutes, before you were even born.

        • Pada, why are you so jealous? The Curiosity (the name of the rover sent to Mars) is not a tiny mechanism that flings miniature satellites into space but actually a very high-tech rover, the equivalent of landing a one-ton truck on a planet 200 hundred million miles away, right? Made history, bitch.

          • Jin

            have Americans really landed on mars? or is this another “moon landing” propaganda set up in a studio?

          • PADA

            Hey Whiskercat girl, why you become so defensive while nobody is challenging US tech power, if not borrowing power?
            But if you landed on Mars a truck with a redneck truck-driver in it, I’d admire your military Reich more, lol!

  • D’andra

    omg I love the part about Sun Yang marrying Ye Shiwen! That should not be a joke. It should happen in real life. They will have amazing babies!!

  • Hilton

    The football one is really hilarious. The one before that is pretty decent too.

  • Dr SUN

    which ones are the girls ?

  • Lil’ D

    I heard Craig David is working with the GB Archery team… He’s their bow selector!

    Ouch…

    • KDog

      I love you so much right now

  • lonetrey

    I had a good chuckle at most of these jokes XD

  • Wade

    Are the Chinese really that perplexed with the media questioning their use of performance enhancing drugs? Do they not know of their history of using them, specifically in swimming, or do they think that the past is the past and shouldn’t factor in? Serious question

    • Jin

      If China was the only country in history with drug cheats then yes..every time china win gold alarm bells should go off and questions asked.

      All country have had drug cheats busted but yet in this game its only the Chinese that gets singled out when they win. And its the Olympic committees that should ask and do the testing not the public or media. they should only report on individuals that’s been PROVEN drug cheats.

      This kind of media reporting is just racist witch hunting.

      • How do the comments of ONE IDIOT, John Leonard, executive director of the World Swimming Coaches Association, equate to an entire western conspiracy to make China look bad? What John Leonard said was ridiculous. Members of the Olympic committee responded and defended Ye Shiwen’s accomplishments. The media reported Leonards comments AND the response that his skepticism was completely baseless… A free media reports shit. It’s their job. I understand this may be a difficult concept for you to understand. There is no fucking conspiracy against China you race baiting moron. Enough with your delusional victim complex.

        • BigJ

          I only takes one bad apple to ruin to the bunch………in stupid people eyes…

        • fenqing basher

          Conspiracy to Make china look bad?

          No conspiracy necessary, just walk behind some “colored” people in any chinese city and listen what the locals have to say about them.
          Wow, really, just one of many many examples, no conspiracy necessary.

      • fenqing basher

        China is the only country on the face of the planet where fake goods are openly sold as originals but no one dares to say or do anything about it, cause its so normal, normal to cheat lie and be cheated and lied at. 
        Occasionally these fake good swamp over to the civilized world and cause a stir cause the good are of exceptionally poor quality and poisonous, of course, the laowai living in laowai country then learns how normal it is to be cheated in china and if the cheater is caught and cornered he just smiles…

        So that’s the reason none would belive anything, because everybody lies, in china.

    • Scott

      A serious answer. The Chinese very well know the lives and training of their Olympic athletes and credibly suspect drugs are used to enhance performance. But, Chinese commonly take offense at criticism. They cannot accept correction with any grace, reverting to the tu quoque retort (魯迅提的臭蟲論, 其名句為「凡中國所有的,外國也都有。外國人說中國多臭蟲,但西洋也有臭蟲。」). I find this typical characteristic especially strong in mainland Chinese, who would rather be wrong than admit so.

      • Scott

        Also, criticism – no matter real or imagined, it is seen as calculated antagonism – by “foreigners” intensifies this aversion to criticism, and the Chinese really dig in their heels.

      • This response is very much appreciated and educational. You seem like an expert on many matters, and after the Neil Heywood situation, many of us are interested in the big picture, and a response such as yours is invaluable given the “shrapnel-like” nature of the web. Thanks and have a good evening.

      • Chom

        Hi Scott, you are spot on I think. However I think there are valid and invalid uses of “tu quoque retort”

        Lets say we are debating whether “China has past human rights abuses” In this case it would be unfair to point at U.S abuses. It either has or hasn’t.

        However if we were debating whether “China is the worst human rights abuser” then it is correct to compare to the U.S and other countries.

        If someone is truly interested in getting the honest opinion of someone on China, then it would be wise to take a more balanced approach and not frame the question as if China is the only one guilty.

        • Scott

          Chom;

          Your explanation is reasonable, but my point is Chinese are wholly unreasonable when faced with the slightest hint of criticism. The tu quoque fallacy is commonly a dodge, a means to quell any further discussion. When confronted with overwhelming evidence of fact the tu quoque retort is used to say, “So what, you’re no better than me”, which tactic most of us growing up in the US used, abused, then left on the schoolyard before our teens. By definition, “this fallacy is committed when it is concluded that a person’s claim is false because 1) it is inconsistent with something else a person has said or 2) what a person says is inconsistent with her actions.”

          This brings us to yet another Chinese characteristic: Trying to turn every dispute into a moral issue, and the first to gain the moral high ground wins. So, a simple difference of opinion becomes a matter of superior morality with the offender as the guilty party and the morally upright person as the party aggrieved, as in “you hurt the feelings of the Chinese people”.

  • XiaoHei

    At least one Chinese dude with a sense of humor. Though, English speakers find it hard to see the humor bit.

    • Scott

      Ah, “English speakers find it hard to see the humor bit”, which means 1/4 of the world’s population is insensitive to the intended humor. But perhaps you’re the guy from Singapore who some years ago told me, “英文很笨。講中文﹐講德文的都很聰明” (“English is stupid; whoever speaks Chinese or German is smart”). What about Japanese? Smart or stupid? Do they see the humor? Bahasa Malayu? Tamil? Tagalog? Can those speakers from the tropical latitudes see the humor? Saami? Innuit? Any chance those speakers from the arctic latitudes see the humor?

      • karen

        uh dude, calm down

        • Scott

          Uh, Karen, is it? Don’t be dense. At least look to see why I chose those languages; at least, dear, try so I don’t have to explain it to you.

      • Scott… It might have been a guy called Smickno who was trolling you. These days he’s pretending to be an 82-year-old Singaporean Hokkien-speaker living on S$700 per month with an oh-so-beautiful Nanjing wife in Singapore. Funny as hell…

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