Fun with Snow, Zhen Huan Style, ‘Call Me Lei Feng’

After it snowed, everyone in Tianjin has become an artist~! Hahaha…

After it snowed in Tianjin

After it snowed in Tianjin

On a winter day, a girl got a fever and her face was all red. She went to the clinic. The doctor came in and put his hand on her forehead. 30 seconds later he switched to the other hand. And then, this lousy doctor said, “So warm.”

sweating because of shock

So, the two factors that hinder the unity of the Chinese people are “heaters for [people in] northern China” and “free shipping for [people in] Jiangsu, Zhejiang, and Shanghai” eh?

[Note: People living in northern China get to enjoy city-wide central heating in winter–they need to pay annual fees though; some merchants on online shopping websites offer free shipping to people living in Jiangsu, Zhejiang, and Shanghai, probably because they live closer to those customers.]

It requires courage to take a shower in Winter

Someone went on a business trip to northern China and ordered beer at a restaurant. The server asked, “Do you want room temperature beer or cold beer? That person flared up, “You want me to drink cold beer in this frigid weather?!” The server calmly said, “The room temperature is -15° [5°F], the cold beer temperature is -1°[30.2°F]. -_-|||

The Harbin International Ice and Snow Sculpture Festival 2012

The Harbin International Ice and Snow Sculpture Festival 2012

A genius passed by…

A genius painted on the windshields of the cars

After watching Empresses in the Palace aka The Legend of Zhen Huan for a few days, I began speaking to my roommates in an affected way, “Hmm, the cake you bought today is extremely good. Rich thick cheese coupled with a luscious mousse. Nothing is better than this. I would love to take a few more bites. Although I will gradually plump out, it is worth doing so.” “Speak a human language [Talk like a normal person].” “…The cake is really delicious. I want another piece.”

Zhen Huan

Zhen Huan

The above and following “humor” may be difficult to understand for people who aren’t advanced Chinese readers but are nonetheless something of a trend amongst Chinese netizens familiar with the Chinese TV series Empresses in the Palace aka The Legend of Zhen Huan whose popularity has resulted in numerous reruns on various TV channels in and outside China. The series depicts the conflicts and intrigues among the Emperor Yong Zheng‘s wives. The main character, Zhen Huan, is an innocent young lady who enters the palace but soon discovers that the palace is actually a cruel and harsh place, forcing her to learn how to survive on her own. You can watch this TV series with English subtitles online here.

Specifically, the “Zhen Hua Style” jokes here involve the characteristic speaking style widely used by the characters on the TV series that is widely associated with how people in their station would speak in that historical period. Think of it as the difference between how the nobility may speak versus the average commoner’s vernacular. It is more or less similar to humor in English that may employ haughty false accents or speech to give off an air of sophistication.

“I just saw a math problem on Intensive Exercises, and the way this problem is constructed is extremely cunning. I figured that if this problem is given to you to solve, it’ll definitely enhance your familiarity with the formulas, which will be extremely conducive to your math skills.” “Speak a human language!” “I have no idea how to solve this problem…”

"Speak a human language" Zhen Huan Style

“Speak a human language”

说人话 shuo ren hua, literally “speak a human language”, consequently is a reaction to “Zhen Huan Style”.

Zhen Huan: When I woke up this morning, my body was sore all over, and I felt completely washed out. I assumed it was because I had played too hard over the past few days; I figure that if I can take three more days off, to smell the fragrance of flowers, and bask in the warmth of sunshine, my mood will definitely go up, which must be extremely good for work.————Consort Hua: Bitches are always pathetic. If you don’t want to work tomorrow, just say it. The thing I hate most is this bitchiness of yours!”

Consort Hua in The Legend of Zhen Huan

In the morning she opened her eyes. Last night’s drunkenness has faded. She discovered that the bed was hers, the house was hers, but the stranger, already dressed, was going to open the door and leave. She suddenly felt a little morose, so she blurted out, “I don’t know your name yet!” The man turned back, gently smiled and said, “Just call me Lei Feng…”

Lei Feng 01

The above and below jokes requires some familiarity with Lei Feng being well-known amongst Chinese as the Chinese government’s propaganda poster child of a Good Samaritan.

The wife was using the restroom at night only to find that there was no more toilet paper, so she called her husband who was playing computer games, “Honey, there’s no more toilet paper.” Husband: “Wait until I finish this round.” The wife intentionally screamed and howled to hurry him up, “Toilet paper! Hurry up and bring me the toilet paper…!” After a few screams, the doorbell/intercom buzzer rang, so she changed to yelling, “Honey, someone is ringing the doorbell.” After some time, the husband picked up the intercom handset, “Who is it?” Answer: “Dude, your wife asked you to bring her toilet paper.” Husband: “…and who are you?” Answer: “Call me Lei Feng…Lei Feng…

Lei Feng 02

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  • Jahar

    I want to kill myself.

  • Dr Sun

    LOL- good stuff

  • the ace of books

    The Ace, who is living in a cold town now, laughs at the “oh fuck it’s cold” jokes, and then gets another blanket.

  • Appalled@everything

    I doubt many Chinese spot the hypocrisy. Anti-Japanese one moment, building snow sculptures of Japanese icons the next moment. Viva la retardation!

    • ASDF

      Political conflict =/= cultural conflict. There’s no hypocrisy here. Anti-Chinese sentiment in strong in Japan, but you don’t see Japanese people removing Kanji from their writing system or Tang style architecture from Kyoto.

      • HymietownHero

        Actually, from what I hear pretty much across the board, there is no real anti-Chinese sentiment among Japanese people. There may be a general distaste for the CCP, but that’s just political reality. Japanese children don’t get together and play “kill the little Chinese devil” or anything.

        • ASDF

          nice try

          • Jahar

            why did he try? to convince you with logic and reasoning? Facts? yeah, that will never work.

          • ASDF

            Trying to convince us that any Japanese hatred towards Chinese people and culture is really aimed at Chinese government while any Chinese hatred towards the Japanese government is really aimed at Japanese people and culture. This is indeed a very reasonable, logical and convincing fact.

          • Jahar

            During the most recent spat, in case you didn’t notice, many things Japanese were damaged, and Japanese people were assaulted. None of this is related to the government. Meanwhile, in Japan, nobody cared. Japanese people generally don’t hate Chinese. This is all in their(your?) brainwashed, commie heads.

          • ASDF

            Chinese people are constantly assaulted in Japan and elsewhere overseas. Western media just reports it differently. Non-chinese assailants are usually labeled as “crazy” “uneducated” or “anomaly” while Chinese assailants are labeled as “typical brainwashed commie head representing 100% of China’s population”.

          • Jahar

            Honestly, I have never, ever heard of or seen Japanese people assault Chinese people.

          • ASDF

            Ignoring half the picture doesn’t make your arguments any stronger

          • Jahar

            In China. I can’t watch any of that. And I said I haven’t seen it, That doesn’t mean I’m ignoring it. I come from a place with no people from either country. I live in a place where there is a seething hatred for Japanese. I’m not going to hear about Japanese assaulting Chinese in China, in English anyway.

          • ASDF

            The point is Nationalism is equally retarded in every country. China is no exception, neither is Japan.

          • Jahar

            The point is you’re right.

          • Siluan Wang

            Well. If you were not intentionally to be ‘taught’ to think in that way, you would never find you way to it.

          • Siluan Wang

            Just like how ‘terrorist’ is depicted as ‘freedom fighters’ when it’s not targeted in the US?

          • Siluan Wang

            Yes. Right. Try if it works if its Chinese screwed up their women and children and innocent people. Sure they will still have a big heart :)

          • Siluan Wang

            To convince with logic and reasoning when comparing Chinese hatred with a reason with Jaoanese hatred with no reason? Good work. That’s really logical

        • Siluan Wang

          Well. Weird If they don’t once if its Chinese raped their women and killed their kids.

      • the ace of books

        Yes and no. I like this answer on the one hand, but on the other, I’d add that there’s plenty of precedent for attacking objects of another culture just because they’re of said culture, regardless of current ownership. Political conflict can very easily lead into cultural conflict.

        And at the same time: people can like a culture’s products, and said products can be popular, without the originating place bring liked. See also: America and its fuzzy status internationally.

        The main point here is that this is not at all “viva la retardation”. This is in fact human nature: to pick and choose, and to, in a collective, hold two paradoxical views at the same time. Because they’re humans.

      • Appalled@everything

        ASDF, go look up the definition of hypocrisy, because in this you are wrong. Those examples also have no bearing as it isn’t the Japanese beating one another for owning Chinese-made products.

      • Jahar

        There’s also a big difference between disliking a country that exists now and things from a country that existed hundreds or even thousands of years ago. Find a better analogy.

        • ASDF

          You’re saying that Hanzi and Tang style architecture no longer exists in China now? Find a better brain.

          • Jahar

            No, I’m saying the country/culture that it was a part of(edit: that created it) no longer exists. Learn to read.

          • ASDF

            So i guess stuff like sushi, Samurais, Himeji Castle, or Sumo wrestling, aren’t really Japanese because they were created hundreds of years ago? Fair enough.

          • Jahar

            Sushi and Sumo are a part of the culture today. Hanzi is also a part of Japanese culture, regardless of origins. I don’t even remember what we were talking about anymore

      • Hongwu

        Well, if they remove Tang-styled architecture from there, they would have to re-enact cultural revolution and tear down everything built before the Meiji restoration hah.

  • x1sfg

    How long until Doraemon gets beaten down by a mob for being Japanese?

    • Jahar

      I would laugh my ass off if they made a Doraemon cartoon where he was saying those islands are Japanese.

    • maja

      come on, …Doraemon? some people I know even think it to be Chinese

      • Siluan Wang

        Just like some Japanese think Kanji to be Japanese lol

    • Hongwu

      Yeah, you gotta use the people glorious mindset: If it is japanese, comes from japan or is even similar to it, it needs to be beaten, for the people’s glory!!11!

  • monmon

    Chinese really have a thing for rabbits and toilets, I’ve noticed…

    • fsck

      They live in shit and f*ck like rabbits.

      Art imitating life, or life imitating art

      • Siluan Wang

        Don’t really think f*ck like rabbits can be used on Chinese more appropriate than on some people from other countries. Just so you know.

        And live in shit? Stop amusing international Chinese who live in overseas. Apart from a better air quality, you really got no better to say. Lol

    • fsck

      They live in sh*t and f*ck like rabbits.
      Art imitating life or life imitating art?

  • ScottLoar

    SImple definitions, long established:

    文言文 – Classical Chinese, not “ancient” or “archaic” Chinese”, and not “literary” Chinese; a written style that differs in economy and some vocabulary from colloquial Chinese. It was the common written form of education and among the gentry class until the mid-20’s when it was undone in part by the movement largely initiated by 胡適 to make education and writing more common and accessible.

    白話文 – vernacular Chinese, also commonly known as colloquial Chinese, i.e. the language written more or less as spoken.

  • Chris

    oba,Zhen Huan style!~

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