‘Gay Love’ & ‘Gay Friends’

The Chinese internet jokes and humor below all relate to the following Chinese slang…
基情

[jī qíng / ji1 you2]
noun.
Gay love, referring to the relationship between gay men or jokingly between straight men.
Link to this entry.

基友

[jīyǒu / ji1 you3]
noun.
Homosexuals, homosexual partners. Often used jokingly between good male friends.
Link to this entry.

Our company’s security guard is over 50 years old. It’s said he’s quite progressive, but I’ve never understood why. So yesterday I asked him, “Grandpa, I hear you’re very chao [trendy, fashionable]. This grandpa replied, “Saonian, gaoji ma [‘Hey young man, wanna have gay sex’]?” Thunder rolled through the sky, goosebumps all over.

Two lustful teenage boys

The key slang and Chinese internet memes required for decoding the above joke are:

  • 潮 [cháo] adj. Trendy, fashionable.
  • 骚年 [sāo nián] n. Pun on 少年 [shào nián] “youngster, youth, young person”, with the first character being defined as flirtatious, lusty, even slutty.
  • 搞基 [gǎo jī] n. To be, to make, to go for being gay, to have homosexual relations.
  • 天雷滚滚 [tiān léi gǔn gǔn] expression. Literally, “thundering sky”, an expression similar to or 雷 [léi] being struck by lightning, stunned, zapped, stupefied.

The UK’s newborn little prince’s name: George Alexander Louis. A [Chinese] netizen translated [transliterated] it as: 搅基 [jiǎo jī] 压力山大 [yā lì shān dà] 撸一世 [lū yī shì], “Gay Mountains of Stress Stroking for Life”. Where is the integrity/respect/common-decency?

George Alexander Louis and his parents

The key slang and Chinese internet memes required for decoding the above joke are:

  • 搅基 [jiǎo jī] v. Variant of 搞基 [gǎo jī]. See above.
  • 压力山大 [yā lì shān dà] expression. Mountains of stress.
  • 撸 [lū] v. To stroke, often referring to male masturbation.

For reference, the British prince’s name is generally transliterated into Chinese as 乔治·亚历山大·路易斯 [qiáo zhì yà lì shān dà lù yì sī], with puns involving well-known Chinese slang and internet memes being the basis of this joke, something understandably difficult to appreciate after translation.

Textbook, being gay.

Textbook about transgender

“Teacher, I’m 11 years old and want to ask you a question.” “Hello, what do you want to ask?” “What’s the difference between jiyou and paoyou?” I immediately felt a kind of pressure from [a concern for] the future of our country…then I thought about it very carefully and earnestly answered him: “Jiyou is a friend who eats Kendeji [KFC] with you, while paoyou is a friend who eats paomian [instant noodles] with you. The former is about exchange, while the latter is about efficiency.”

Gay Couple

It’s possible to read quite a bit into the answer given if understood as metaphorical and metaphorical on multiple levels. For example, KFC is about “exchange” in the sense of Chinese diners experiencing foreign food (an “exchange” of cultures), but how might that relate to to the notion of homosexuality? Likewise, how does “efficiency” relate to the idea of “friends with benefits/friends that fuck”? What if “efficiency” was translated as “time-savings”?

Chinese culture truly is rich and profound…

gei

At night in the dorm, while bored, we started talking about french kissing. The bro on the top bunk suddenly asked: Is french kissing something that only existed in the modern age? Did people in olden times do it? Just when everybody began contemplating this profound question, the quietest and most reserved guy of the dorm nonchalantly said, “Zhuge Liang Sparred Against a Hall of Learned Lords with His Tongue~~~”

Zhuge Liang

诸葛亮舌战群儒 [Zhuge Liang Shé Zhàn Qún Rú], “Zhuge Liang Verbally Sparred With a Hall of Learned Lords” or “Zhuge Liang Debates a Group of Scholars” is a well-known story in Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

Suddenly realized that if foreigners are the descendants of Adam and Eve, why the hell are we the descendants of the Yan Emperor and Huang Emperor, two men? I can’t stop thinking about this…

Yan Emperor and Yellow Emperor

According to Chinese history, the Huang Emperor prevailed over the Yan Emperor, whose people were absorbed into the Huang Emperor’s people, with both thus being regarded as the ancestors of the Chinese people.

The Difference Between Past Society and Modern Society. So bright it blinds my titanium alloy dog eyes [“blindingly” incisive/perceptive, startling accurate].

Change in society

Can this be the new reason for infertility and not having children?

Sperms fall in love with each other.

Having no mother-in-law feels so good.

[Translation of text in image above:]

In the past, I was always against same sex marriage, thinking that the union of two people of the same sex is wrong and ridiculous. It was not until I met my current wife, who was raised by two fathers, that I learned one thing…

It feels great to not have a mother-in-law.

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  • Opalivian

    Interesting…

    • biggj

      Liar.

  • 上官

    Gay is sick fetish.

    • mr.wiener

      Only a fetish if you seek to marginalize it. Otherwise it is quite normal, although not everyone’s cup of tea,

      • Serpico

        Only a fetish when you’re in Russia?

        • mr.wiener

          Not a fetish in Russia, it is a crime, to promote it anyway.

          • Serpico

            Yeah, they think it’s crime, not something acceptable like more and more people do, therefore it might be called a fetish, a very bad one, as uncle Putout says. P:

    • Repatriated

      Couldn’t ingorance be considered a sickness too?

      • 上官

        Your use of the word “too” implies that you agree with what I said.
        Your attempt at insulting me, lao wai, failed miserably.

        • Gordon Gogodancer

          hahaha

      • mr.wiener

        Like playing chess with a chicken.

    • HymietownHero

      Neither sick nor classifiable as a fetish. In fact, pretty normal, commonplace, and extant for as long as civilization and long before, and found throughout the animal kingdom.

      The sad fact is, you are just an ignorant man.

      • 上官

        You all must come from those depraved, debt-ridden, liberal countries.

        • Gordon Gogodancer

          Yes! give me more dictator!

          • Robert Rou

            “A people deserve their own government.” -Winston Churchill

    • POS

      China has 5000 proud years of homosexuality, they invented it just like gunpowder and everything else not modern.

  • Pikachuu~

    “It feels great to not have a mother-in-law.”

    LMAO

    • What does that tell you about the rest of the mother in laws hahahahahaha?

    • parvizr

      Well once they can get married they’ll have a mother in law constantly chewing them out for not being able to give them grandchildren.

  • biggj

    BREAKING NEWS!! To celebrate the birth of William and Kate’s new baby, Chinese official gives a fresh can of Chinese baby milk. They excepted the gift, but by the look on Williams face there is no fucking way they are going to be feeding that shit to their baby.

    • POS

      Sanlu brand harmony! Whole generation of brain damaged fenqings thanks to that.

    • Claude

      Sanlu. Better living through chemistry.

  • takashimio

    bwahahah this reminds me when I was still living in China. M friends would call other friends ji you lol

  • That last one looks a lot like the ‘Challenge Accepted’ guy.

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