‘The Sibling Effect’

It’s been half a month since my younger brother left to join the army and today I suddenly really missed him. Before I knew it, I was in his room, and after looking around, I silently left with his piggy bank…

miss you

The other day my classmate (female) and her little sister were in a restaurant eating. The little sister suddenly raised her head and with a puzzled face asked, “Sis, what does ML mean?” My classmate looked at her with shock, her little sister was only 11 years old, just 11 years old…! What does ML mean? My classmate struggled for a while and then decided to tell her [the truth], and with embarrassment said: “It means ‘make love’.” Her little sister then pointed at the drink box and asked: “Then what does 250ML mean?” My classmate “immediately suffered an internal injury” [was extremely embarrassed]…

One time I was playing poker at home with my little sister and her classmate. It was really quiet when all of a sudden I let out an super loud fart. So awkward, but the two of them said nothing. Wanting to ease the awkwardness, I said, “XX, it’s your turn…” My sister replied, “I can’t fart like that…” I fell to my knees…

The fart in winter must be warm.

A winter’s fart is always warm.

Today my ten-year-old younger brother used our mom’s QQ account and sent me a link to Taobao, for a remote-controlled airplane, and then sent me a message: “Son, your mother [referring to herself] wants to play this, so buy one for mommy [me].” I was fucking stupefied.

LZ is a mei zhi [sister, meaning female]… recently broke up with my boyfriend so I’ve been in the blues. Yesterday, my younger brother comforted me by chatting with me on WeChat… As we were chatting, he became impatient, and said with a voice message: “Sister! Remember! You really aren’t without anything! You really aren’t!” I was super touched… After a while, I received yet another audio message from him: “You still have sickness [you have a problem, meaning something is wrong with her, that she needs to snap out of it]! ……

WeChat

‘Your younger sister’ is a good girl, helping “your mother” bear so much sorrow.

[Note: “你妹” (nǐ mèi) “your younger sister” and “你妈” (nǐ mā) “your mother” are both curse words, whose meaning and usage are as flexible as the English word “fuck”. “Your mother” is adapted from “fuck your mother“, while “your younger sister” is a recent popular deviation of “your mother”. The above basically says the phrase “your sister” is now helping “your mother” in serving the purpose of insulting people.]

your sister

Your [younger] sister!

Ni ma ya, I have to babysit again!

baby babysitter

My sister is a very clever kid. Once when she was in first grade, she only got score of 50-something on a test, so the required that she get a parent signature [on the exam to indicate they saw the grade]. Unbelievably, this girl folded and folded the exam paper until it became a little piece piece, leaving only a small blank space, returned home and took it to my dad: “Daddy, how do you write your name…”

Today my friend told me about how he had his older sister go to the parent-teacher conference [instead of his parents]. The teacher asked: “How is your mom so young [looking]?” He replied: [Because] my dad has skills [to get such a young wife]…

I was just voice chatting with a little brat I don’t know and he used his childish voice to say something that really moved me. He said: “We are both men, ‘we don’t have a common language’ [no shared interests, nothing to talk about], so I’m gonna give you my older sister’s QQ number. Go hit on my sister!

Help us maintain a vibrant and dynamic discussion section that is accessible and enjoyable to the majority of our readers. Please review our Comment Policy »
  • donkeykong

    Not one chuckle or grin from me.
    Why do you guys waste your time translating this silly stuff ?

    • Bettle

      Watch out guys.

    • lin

      Ur probably not getting the jokes, or else u would have at least thought ONE of them was funny

      • bprichard

        I seriously doubt that’s the issue.

      • slob

        Jokes have a punchline.

        “I was just voice chatting with a little brat I don’t know and he used his childish voice to say something that really moved me. He said: “We are both men, ‘we don’t have a common language’ [no shared interests, nothing to talk about], so I’m gonna give you my older sister’s QQ number. Go hit on my sister!”

        Explain how that is even remotely funny.

        • Probotector

          “Today my friend told me about how he had his older sister go to the parent-teacher conference [instead of his parents]. The teacher asked: “How is your mom so young [looking]?” He replied: [Because] my dad has skills [to get such a young wife]…”

          This one was worse

          • Kai

            It’s a pretty cynically “niubi” response. The friend gets away with dodging the parent-teacher meeting by having his sister go and when the teacher notices something strange but innocently simply admires his “mom’s” youth, her says “cuz my dad’s badass and can get a trophy wife”.

            Again, not necessarily rip-roaringly funny but it’s not hard to get.

          • lin

            Jesus christ, they obviously doesn’t get the humor in these jokes….SMH. Nice explanations though

          • slob

            It’s not that we don’t ‘get’ the jokes, it’s that we don’t find them funny because of how they’re worded and the punchlines are terrible. Let me give you an example of this joke :

            “I was just voice chatting with a little brat I don’t know…”

            Now if they change something at the end like “You’re an idiot, we have nothing in common, here’s my sister’s QQ”. It lets you think about it and then ‘get’ it. These jokes at the top are not ‘thinking’ jokes, they’re punchlines with explanations, and the punchlines are not funny.

          • lin

            Chinese jokes are always told in a sense of a story or like a skit, there are usually never explanations for these jokes because they are pretty obvious. The explanations in THIS article are for those who may not fully understand Chinese slang or sentence structure etc.

            And from what you just wrote, I can tell that you didn’t get the joke. The one on the QQ number….you said it should be “You’re an idiot, we have nothing in common, here’s my sister’s QQ” No where in the story did either of them think the other one is an idiot. The story was told in the perspective of a grown up and he was chatting with a little kid, the kid said “We have nothing in common, why dont you hit on my [older] sister? Here’s her QQ number”

          • Probotector

            Lin is upset because Chinese we think jokes are not funny, and has too call us dumb in order to save face.

          • Probotector

            Yeah, uh… thanks. it’s not that I don’t get it, it’s that it’s a lame joke. Is that the standard patronising response you give to anyone who criticises a joke that you like; saying the reason they don’t like it is because they’re too stupid to understand it?! Be proud of yourself then.

          • Kai

            I seem to have given you the benefit of the doubt in error.

          • Probotector

            What benefit of the doubt? What are you talking about? You presumed that the reason we (slob as well) didn’t like the jokes was because we’re too stupid to get them… quite an arrogant and cruel statement there. Anyway, that presumption is simply wrong. Again, we get it, it’s just they’re bad jokes.

          • Kai

            Benefit of the doubt that you didn’t get it and that explaining the joke might benefit you and others who might not immediately get these jokes.

            I can see how some people would interpret my response as arrogance (“cruel” though?) but I was genuinely trying to be helpful (not just to you but the community overall) because this is a site where interpreting and understanding what Chinese netizens say is a central theme. Humor is particularly difficult to translate and often relies on so much cultural context that I really did entertain the possibility that people might not have gotten them.

            I don’t think people who don’t like the jokes are too stupid to get them. I simply consider that they might be lacking the contextual knowledge to get them, just as I often lack the same thing when I don’t get a joke translated from another language and culture. There’s no shame in it and I wasn’t trying to shame you.

            There’s no way for us to determine whether or not my presumption was wrong or not. I’ll take your word on it. Hopefully you’ll take my word that I wasn’t trying to offend you with my attempt to explain the jokes, my disagreement with slob about the existence of punchlines in these examples, and my admission that these jokes aren’t necessarily rip-roaringly funny. Humor is pretty subjective. I recognize that. I also recognize that this site is a place and medium for cross-cultural understanding and try my best to contribute to it.

          • Robert Rou

            Benefit of the doubt. On this site? Someone is still very young and naive.

        • Kai

          That the little kid was a bro who pimped out his own sister?

          It’s not like rip-roaringly funny but it’s not that hard to see the humor (for perhaps others) in it.

      • Probotector

        They were jokes?!

  • Taoran

    I liked it, the one with the fart was funny. I also enjoyed this one: ‘你妹’是个好姑娘,替’你妈’分担了好多忧伤。。。

    • 志远李

      haha

  • Jobjed

    The girl who folded the piece of paper to trick her dad into signing it is just…. genius.

    • lonetrey / Dan

      Hahaha, I was going to point out that one too!

    • Cauffiel

      Only if her dad is a complete idiot.

  • I love Sexy Chinese girls

    I like the “ML” thing.

  • Opalivian

    One child policy / :

  • Probotector

    Lame

  • 剑胆琴心

    My kindergarten nephew said: one male, one female, then it’s relationship or love…

  • mr.wiener

    After all the flaming and cat fights today I think we could all use a palate cleanser. Good night folks, May you all be over you Monday blues tomorrow.

  • biggj

    A woman is just about to give birth in the hospital when she says to the
    doctor, “Doc, do me a favor. Tell me what color the baby is as it’s being
    born.”

    The doctor is understandably a little puzzled at this. “Why
    don’t you know what color the child is going to be?”

    “Well”, says
    the woman, “The problem is that I’m a porno actress and the child was
    conceived during the making of a film. I have no idea who the father is.”

    “OK”, says the doctor, “I’ll do it for you but it is most
    unusual.” The baby begins to be born and the doctor says, “Here comes
    the head, it seems to have yellow skin and the eyes are slanted. Was one of the
    actors Chinese?”

    “Yes, doctor he was.”, says the woman.

    “Wait”, says the doctor,” The chest and arms are out and they
    seem to be very dark. Was one of the actors black?”

    “Yes, doctor he
    was.” “Wait, now the legs are out and they’re brown. Was one of the
    actors Asian?”

    “Yes, doctor he was.” So the doctor pulls the baby
    free and gives it the traditional slap on the back. The baby lets out a healthy
    “Waaaahh” and starts crying.
    “Oh, thank God for that!”, says
    the woman, “For a moment there, I expected it to bark!”

  • maybeabanana

    Hey Fauna, any articles on Syria? I want to hear about Chinese people’s opinions as I heard they are pissed … http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-09-04/syria-attack-has-china-outraged-at-u-s-.html.

    • Balefulness

      I want to hear (read?) about this too, I am sure they are as mad as a bunch of cut snakes!!!

Personals @ chinaSMACK - Meet people, make friends, find lovers? Don't be so serious!»