Singles’ Day, 3 Line Love Letters, Sun Yang

Last Monday a week ago was Singles’ Day or Double 11, because it falls every year on November 11th, or “11.11”. This modern holiday for bachelors and bachelorettes has been coopted by retailers as a day for large discounts and sales similar to Black Friday in the United States.

Happiness Shantou University Female Student Proposed to Male Student on Singles’ Day! — Today [last Monday, November 11th] at “STU 2nd Cafeteria”, a fourth-year female student in a wedding dress holding a bouquet got down on one knee and proposed to a guy. After hugs and kisses, the guy carried the girl away. It is said that in order to pursue the girl, this guy had repeated a year of studies to enter Shantou University. Heart Best wishes to them!

Singles' Day Proposal

人艰不拆

[rén jiān bù chāi]
expression.

This Chinese idiom-like expression is short for 人生已经如此的艰难,有些事情就不要拆穿 “life is already so hard, so just leave some things be” referring to lies or statements that could be debunked or proven false, quoted from 林宥嘉 Lin Youjia aka Yoga Lin’s song 《说谎》 “Lie.”

@叫兽易小星: If only housing prices were 50% off on “Double 11″…
@所长别开枪是我: Could you afford them even if they were 50% off?
@使徒子: Life is already so hard, so just leave some things be…

不明觉厉

[bù míng jué lì]
expression.
This Chinese idiom-like expression is short for “don’t understand it but feel it’s awesome” or more colloquially, “don’t get it but it’s awesome”.

#Wuhan University Three-Line Love Letter# The crab is deshelling me, and the notebook is writing on me. A sky full of me falls upon maple leaves and snowflakes. And you are thinking of me.

[Note: This is the winner of a three-line love letter contest at Wuhan University.]

Three-line love letter.

Now This Is “Don’t Get It But It’s Awesome“ — In the late-70s of the last century, Italian artist Serafini wrote a book. He created a magical surreal world in this 380-page book: The entire book was written in an unknown language. It’s so difficult to finish reading this book that this book became this gentleman’s most famous work. Come and experience it:

Book 01

Book 06

Book 07

Book 05

Book 04

Book 03

Book 02

Book 08

The meanest message I received on Singles’ Day, and I couldn’t help but sing it out aloud…

Single boy

My father often teaches me: Don’t complain about the environment; try to change yourself. So after being single for one year at Hefei University of Technology, I became a jilao [gay person].

岳羽倩: Without you/[When I] feel cold/[I can] only buy a cup of hot drink. ——Three-line love letter
吴佐杭: With you/[When I] feel cold/[I will] have to buy two cups.

Sun Yang [Olympic champion swimmer] was determined to have been driving without a license after being involved in a traffic accident while driving his luxury car, for which he publicly apologized for on Weibo. At present, Sun Yang has been sentenced to 7 days of administrative detention. It is said that the scene of the rear-end collision was one of harmony/peace, that the other driver had even asked for Sun Yang’s autograph. However, because Sun Yang’s girlfriend who was a passenger in his car was dissatisfied with the amount of compensation that the other driver Feng promised, they voluntarily called the police…and so the police came [resulting in him being found to not have a license and being sentenced to 7 days detention].

Crying Sun Yang.

Sun Yang is indeed a world champion. The 7-day detention was for no other purpose——this perfect way to avoid the Zhejiang University Fall Semester Exam Week surpasses us ordinary people by leagues [in its creativity/ingeniousness].

[Note: Sun Yang is a student at Zhejiang University.]

Upon learning that this ugly beggar in front of him is actually his biological father Duan Yanqing, Duan Yu was dumbstruck, only recovering his senses after a long time upon which he timidly asked: “Daddy, do you know how to sing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’?”

[Note: This joke reflects the popularity of the celebrity parenting reality show Where Are We Going, Dad? and Taiwanese celebrity Jimmy Lin, who played the above-mentioned Duan Yu in the 2003 TV series Demi-Gods and Semi-DevilsBabi [Daddy], do you know how to sing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'” is asked by Jimmy Lin’s son Kimi at the beginning of the popular show’s eponymous theme song.]

Duan Yu

Before calling my dad, I thought a long time about whether to call him “daddy” or “babi“… The moment I opened my mouth, I ended up calling him dai bi [dumbass or dumb cunt].

Kimi and "babi" Jimmy Lin.

Kimi and “babi” Jimmy Lin.

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  • Stefan Xu

    No, I’m going to come and occupy your sofa and kick you out, hehe.

    • David

      I just have to ask you Stefan, were the jokes funny in Chinese?

      • Stefan Xu

        some are funny, some are a bit lame.

        • Cauffiel

          Sounds a lot like the English-language internet.

    • Fibble_Squibble

      Brute force or brutal force?

  • dizhu

    I don’t understand, where are the jokes?

    • Germandude

      We probably got cheated…

    • bprichard

      I certainly don’t understand how “I can’t find a girlfriend, guess I’ll be gay now” constitutes a joke in any way.

      • Kai

        I can, it’s a desperation joke, a sort of hyperbole. That said, I think it makes more sense from a Chinese context. Bachelorhood is a bigger social issue in China than elsewhere. Think: a lot of sexually pent-up young guys, especially in colleges where maybe they have few girls in their majors, and often very little experience with dating and courtship.

        • mwanafa

          Actually I didn’t, but after consuming some fake moutai, now I LMAO!

    • 二奶头发

      Single’s day is the joke. It’s a stupid celebration.

  • that Italian book looks interesting. It is a puzzle with no pieces. It cannot be understood, but because it is beautiful, it make us want to understand it. A useless effort… like flying towards the sun. We know its perilous, but we do it anyway… its human nature…

  • Germandude

    Yeah

  • ESL Ninja

    This singles day thing is a bit pathetic. I hope it doesn’t overshadow remembrance day in the rest of the world.

    • David

      For some reason, we moved our remembrance day in the U.S. (which we cal memorial day) to the end of May and have made 11/11 as the day to honor veterans (all who have served).

      Talk about a confusing day at school. I have a couple of other Americans wishing me a happy Veterans day, the female Chinese teachers talk about it being singles day (and all the gossip that goes with that) and the Korean students and teachers celebrate Pepero day and hand out POCKY sticks (from a Japanese company) because you can’t get Pepero in many place here in China. lol Now THAT is mulch-culteralism at its best (with nobody trying).

      • Cauffiel

        School? Sounds like you work at a laundromat.

      • Jahar

        They changed it because many countries celebrate Remembrance Day, or Armistice Day on November 11th. WW1 ended on Nov. 11th.

        • Cauffiel

          Right. If the U.S. had a day to remember every war, wars will have to start sharing days soon. So we just lump all of them into one day of the year now.

  • the ace of books

    The Serafini book looks awesome, so I Googled/Wiki’d it out of curiosity:

    Here’s the book name and basic info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codex_Seraphinianus

    Here’s the wiki about the author: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luigi_Serafini

    And here, for the desperately curious, is the book in PDF form: http://www.cetteadressecomportecinquantesignes.com/Luigi.Serafini.-.Codex.Seraphinianus.pdf

    Moral: The Internet Shall Provide. Other Moral: If Serafini shares those drugs of his with the rest of the world then we’ll either have world peace with nightmares for the rest of our lives, or the surface of the planet will be leveled within a week, and the ashes will spell out the words “Suck it, Andre Breton.”

    • filabusta

      Oh the day that China discovers LSD….

      • the ace of books

        ….is the day I make a straight shirttail outa here.

  • Fibble_Squibble

    The bit where she’s handing him the flowers? Looks like she’s taking a crap from her expression.

    • Cauffiel

      Its pretty silly. I wonder how many of them really take it seriously.

  • Fibble_Squibble

    It’s the chinese remake of Jaws.

  • ophiolater

    Only young people have courage and heart for love.
    Dear, if you see my words here just email me, I will go there take you back.

    • Cauffiel

      Oh, sorry mate, you got the wrong venue for misplaced heartfelt apologies from emotionally 13 year old netizens.

      This is the foreigners-deride-and-ridicule-Chinese-nonsense forum, not the give-foreigners-a-reason-to-deride-and-ridicule-Chinese-nonsense forum.

  • linette lee

    Professional swimmers growing up swimming in the chlorinated swimming pool usually have lots of dental problems. Their teeth are at high risk of dental erosion. And Sun he is so cute. I like him. >.< And I am sure many chinese girls like him. He needs lots of dental work. People that swim daily in swimming pool need to brush their teeth immediately after swim. That should help a little.

    http://sin.stb.s-msn.com/i/2D/332A9A296DB8C6EACBB065A683BDB4_h414_w622_m2_q80_czdzDTWWx.jpg

    http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Taehwan+Park+Sun+Yang+Swimming+Day+Nine+14th+BHN5d23FCLRl.jpg

    http://www.spwallpapers.com/var/albums/640×960/Chinese%20swimmer%20Sun%20Yang%20iPhone%20wallpapers%20640×960/Chinese%20swimmer%20Sun%20Yang%20iPhone%20wallpapers%20640×960%20(25).jpg?m=1344672517

    http://www.spwallpapers.com/var/albums/640×960/Chinese%20swimmer%20Sun%20Yang%20iPhone%20wallpapers%20640×960/Chinese%20swimmer%20Sun%20Yang%20iPhone%20wallpapers%20640×960%20(04).jpg?m=1344672481

    • biggj

      I don’t think that guys shitty teeth was caused by chlorine…..The guy just has fucked up teeth lol. That’s what happens when you don’t go to the dentist when you are young. This guys problem could have easily been fixed.

      • linette lee

        I feel bad for him and those chinese olympians. China really treat them like machine and not human. Their living purpose is to win medals for China. They punish Sun Yang for not following their instruction. The boy want to have a life you know. He wants a girlfriend and live his life. They put him in jail for driving without license and the swimming committee want to punish him more afterward. Sun is from a middle class family not from rich family and his parents are not someone in power. He gets treated like slave. I wish him run away and move to HK or taiwan.

        • biggj

          I know they push him to the limits…..but that’s his own fault for driving without a license…and a luxury car at that, Shit, what would happen to me or you if we got in a car accident without a license? We would be fucked. I think he got off pretty easy.

          • linette lee

            In China don’t they just BUY the driving license instead of going through lessons and test. lol. Everything is red envelope to expedite. Their department of motor vehicle seems to be a joke.
            And also he got into a fender bender. Fender bender is common and so minor. He wasn’t drunk driving or speed driving. If he was drunk driving and speeding he needs to be put in jail. Put in jail because no license in China it’s like saying his parents have no power to get him out unlike those rich chinese kids. They can drve drunk and kill 5 folks and their rich powerful chinese parents still get them out of jail.

            And it is common that China bribes their Olympians with ferrari and porsche and luxury condos. But forget about freedom they are not human.

        • Cauffiel

          Haha… so, Sun wants to be like everyone else in China who are NOT treated like machines? :-D

    • Cauffiel

      How does swimming make your teeth crooked?

      • linette lee

        It doesn’t make teeth crooked but the teeth are definitely more risk of erosion and stained. Professional swimmers need more dental care and apparently Sun didn’t have any.

  • Germandude

    You are sofa queen gorgeous!

  • the ace of books

    Oh god! He has teeth! I am horrified!

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