Chinese Farmer Confesses ‘Electrocuted Alien’ was a Hoax

A photo of the "Alien".

From QQ:

Shandong Police: Binzhou Man Admits “Electrocuted Alien” is a Hoax

Recently, a man from Shandong Binzhou surnamed Li posted online claiming that, three months ago, he encountered five “aliens” in a flying saucer on the shore of the Yellow River. After electrocuting one of them to death, he hid it in his own warehouse. On the morning of June 10, after learning of the Li of Shandong Bincheng “electrocuted an alien to death” incident that has captured the attention of netizens, this reporter interviewed the Shandong Binzhou City Police. As it turns out, Li confessed himself that the alien was a fake, the material he used to make it being high-end rubber. This morning [June 10], Li was summoned by the Binzhou Police for questioning at the Binzhou Bincheng District Central Police Station.

A photo of the UFO Li Kai took with his cell phone.

Previously, Li Kai claimed that, on the night of March 9, at about 2am, he went to the shore of the Yellow River to check the electrified wire netting he placed there for catching wild rabbits, never expecting that night would be different from other nights. On other nights, he would have caught several wild rabbits, but that night there wasn’t a single hare that had been electrocuted. As he checked, he felt a beam of light shining behind his back, turned around and was startled. “An unidentified flying object like a UFO was suspended above the shore of the Yellow River. I had no idea when my bicycle had gone under that flying saucer, and then five aliens came down one after another,” Li Kai told this reporter. Seeing this situation, he too was freaked out, but he still managed to take a photo with his cell phone.

Li Kai was pointing at the shore where he had captured the "alien".

And just as he was taking the photo, he discovered his bicycle being sucked away by the flying saucer. Seeing this, Li Kai angrily picked up rocks on the Yellow River shore used for flood prevention and threw them. “The rocks shattered into small pieces”. Under attack, the aliens began chasing Li Kai. “The alien who was running in the front just happened to run onto the electrified wire netting and was electrocuted to death.” According to Li Kai, while he was running towards his home, he felt a flash of light flying to the north-west direction. “The other aliens went into the spaceship and flew away”.

The "alien" is kept in the freezer.

Li Kai said after he returned to his warehouse, he hurriedly barricaded the door to his home. After seven to eight minutes without hearing a sound, the curious Li Kai wanted called to his neighbors to come with him to the Yellow River shore again but his knocking on their doors failed to wake the sleeping neighbors. So he had no choice but to bring along his big dog to embolden himself, and with a stick in his hand, he went back to the Yellow River shore alone. When he reached the river side, Mr. Li found that the alien lying face-down on the ground with its back to the sky. To confirm whether it was dead or alive, he poked it with his stick, and there was no movement, but then had his big dog sniff it to make sure it was indeed dead before he let his guard down. Then, he wrapped it with a blanket from his car and bought it back to his warehouse, and put it into the freezer. He wanted to call the police immediately, but both numbers on his cell phone had no signals, so he had to give up.

The head of the "alien".

According to Li Kai, he called the police immediately the next day. “After seeing the picture, the police told me to contact the relevant experts.” So, in the middle of March, Li Kai contacted an astronomy expert in Beijing. The expert from Beijing said he needed to take [the alien] back to Beijing in order to identify it, whereupon Li Kai said that he marked the alien and the two parties signed a confidentiality agreement whereupon the Beijing side would pay him a deposit in accordance with his demands and approximately at the beginning of May, the expert from Beijing would send the “alien” body back to Li Kai. After Li Kai verified that the “alien” was intact, Li Kai would return the deposit, and then both two parties would destroy the confidentiality agreement.

The eye of the "alien".

Li Kai also said that a few days after the expert from Beijing had left, examiners from Binzhou City also came looking for him asking to examine [the alien]. “They came 3 days in a row, two people each day, each time they were different, and what more, they always came in the evening and would only leave the next morning.” During the examination, the examiners said Mr. Li was not allowed to enter the room, but Li overheard some words while offering them water, words like “biuret”, and “electrification/conductivity experiment”, etc. but otherwise the examiners would reveal nothing to Li Kai. Li Kai said that he didn’t know from which department the above groups of experts that came were from, nor did they leave their contact information. “They said it was confidential, and they could’ve give it to me.”

Comments from QQ:

腾讯网友 激流勇进:

By the looks of it, it isn’t fake, but is saying it is fake just to keep it a secret.

腾讯苏州市网友 农民工:

I believe it’s real, otherwise he wouldn’t only now say it’s fake. It is to prevent a panic.

腾讯网友 Pisces.:

Even if it was proven to be real, the government would still find a reason to say it was fake.

腾讯网友 k… w…大庆:

Maybe it is real, there’s no motivation for a farmer to make a fake alien!

腾讯网友 可儿:

Judging by the pictures, it indeed looks real, but it’s being kept secret not not made public only because [the government] is afraid it may cause a public panic.

腾讯网友 爱的救赎:

The ridiculous things of the world! Never thought that even the know-it-all experts can be fooled!!!

腾讯网友 173870747:

I could tell it was an inflation doll he made himself long ago, and he even made it a female one, .

腾讯网友 自大多一点的男人:

What a SB, even daring to con the experts in order to be famous!

腾讯网友 DQ双仔:

Maybe he just wanted to fool the experts. Hah hah, this dude is so naughty…

腾讯苏州市网友 goudian:

So is it real or has it “been made fake/a hoax”?

Comments from NetEase:

空亦空 [网易广西桂林市网友]:

This guy’s imagination is so rich, able to lie without his face turning red or his heartbeat going up [getting nervous], a prodigy for being a government official.

膝盖都是茧 [网易浙江省杭州市网友]:

The crack below is visible, a female~!

膝盖都是茧 [网易浙江省杭州市网友]:

Naked and uncensored, hard to come by, hurry and jerk off~!

网易浙江省台州市网友 ip:125.127.*.*:

Nao can human beings, aliens are laughing at the stupidity of human beings. I am Tianyi, and I speak for the nao can!

vodafone1 [网易黑龙江省哈尔滨市网友]:

Yep, an alien female, there’s a cunt.

67yHK [网易香港网友]:

Why do you Chinese people make fake things all the time?

联邦调茶局PUB [网易广东省深圳市手机网友]: (responding to above)

Why do you Hong Kong people always tell the truth?

网易香港网友 ip:14.136.*.*: (responding to above)

Because we don’t harm other people for profit. Our government, our schools and and our media never teach people how to make fake things. Chinese people’s characters are so low, even your media tells lies.

Help us maintain a vibrant and dynamic discussion section that is accessible and enjoyable to the majority of our readers. Please review our Comment Policy »
  • Terrik

    My sofa wants to phone home.

  • stoutboy

    looks like she’s made out of 油条 or 年糕.

  • Mighty

    “Made in China” alien with a vagina.

    • wotingbudong

      hahahah! ‘with a vagina’. excellent. Not sure if this guy Li has seen too many though.

      • Mighty

        haha…The farmers here do it to sheeps. Li made his own doll.

        • http://www.chinasmack.com/ MrT

          yea, its a piss poor home made blow up doll, his wife found it, so like Chinese do when they lie he spun a big yarn.
          Just got worse from there.

          • http://simplydesigned.tumblr.com/ maybeabanana

            Looks like a grotesque red bean ice gone creative arts x roswell.

          • Mighty

            More likely he attached some battery cables to the silicone doll for some vibrating effect but managed to partially melt it. Gotta give him credit though.

        • James

          shhhh, biggj is from nova scotia…..

          • Mighty

            And a farmer?

          • James

            why do scotchmen wear skirts?

          • Mighty

            For easy and quick access.

      • 剑胆琴心

        haha
        your avatar is so cute!

    • YourSupremeCommander

      The only missing piece of prop to make this look real convincing: 白色纯棉小裤裤.

    • http://sinopathic.com/ terroir

      This is a real alien, and is no lie: read its lips.

      • Mighty

        I’m sure farmer LI did more than read its ‘lips’.

      • James

        no new taxes?

    • https://www.facebook.com/dinie.akhemu Piratehana

      it rhymes too Mr Poet.

      • Mighty

        I will drop ‘alien’. Example: Jin is… ‘Made in China with a vagina’.

        • Probotector

          ‘Made in China with a vagina’

          That should be printed on every consumer product manufactured in China from now on.

          • James

            made in china by a vagina mebbe

          • J-20

            嘿嘿!Then people all around the world will admire our clever chinese farmer…

        • wotingbudong

          brilliant…i love it

    • J-20

      !THIS ALIEN IS SOLD IN HONGKONG,YOU CAN BUY ONE!IT MUST BE COMETORTABLE!

  • http://www.chinasmack.com/ MrT

    Area 69, getting more and more like America, must be to much money and boredom.

  • Alex

    “ALIEN DISCOVERED!”

    First thought: “Can I fuck it?”

    • Marcus Black

      yes you can. it has a vagina. : | don’t know if they all do though. you may not want to stick your penis in that. your third leg might become 2 inches shorter.

    • Jing Li

      I guess your comment is in reply to one of the Netizen’s remarks.

      “Maybe it is real, there’s no motivation for a farmer to make a fake alien!”

  • Jing Li

    “And just as he was taking the photo, he discovered his bicycle being sucked away by the flying saucer. Seeing this, Li Kai angrily picked up rocks on the Yellow River shore used for flood prevention and threw them. “The rocks shattered into small pieces”. Under attack, the aliens began chasing Li Kai.”

    I thought that was the funniest part. Throwing rocks at a technology beyond human kind’s ability?

    • Probotector

      Patriotic duty.

  • Rick in China

    This is so ridiclous. Look at that iphone “photo” – Quick, take a photo of the camera showing the photo so you can’t see clearly how badly the ms paint work is! Why is this even a story – why aren’t netizens talking about snowden in HK?!

    • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

      All of these high end cameras and imaging devices people use to find proof of extraterrestrials, and it was a Malata phone camera that got it. Absolutely stunning work.

      • the ace of books

        Dat photo, man. The truth is out there. Waaaaay, way out.

    • lonetrey / Dan

      I was wondering about that myself! I only heard about Snowden yesterday… and not a single peep from Chinasmack. A little disappointed :/

      • Kai

        I took a quick look but I don’t think its quite trending just yet. It’s climbing though. For example, on Sina Weibo, the top hashtag at this moment is about some Taiwanese actor momentarily unfollowing his girlfriend’s account. And it’s like many times more mentioned than Snowden.

        • Germandude

          We should get our priorities right then.

          • Kai

            Heh, that’s a slippery slope I think. If Chinese netizens are all up in arms about it squawking online, how soon do you think someone is going to get defensive about it and accuse Chinese netizens of needing to get their priorities right, that they should be more concerned about how the Chinese government hacks the US or the injustices of their own society or whatever.

            Anyway, since we’re on the issue, and being the pretentious sort that agrees that this kind of news is qualitatively of a higher importance and significance than celebrity gossip, I have to say…

            Why is this news?

            I’m kidding, I know why it is news, that, for example, a leak with supposed evidence of behavior that demonstrates behavior that the perpetrator objects to and criticizes others for doing is newsworthy. I can also see how Snowden choice of refuge is interesting from a geopolitical standpoint, but that’s almost on the level of Michelle’s choice to meet or not meet Peng Liyuan, vaguely circumstantial perceptions of China and the Chinese vis a vis its relationship with the US.

            However, does any one who actually considers this news think this is a huge revelation? Have we not known in our hearts that the US engages in the same sort of cyber-espionage, has the same if not better cyberwarfare capabilities, and has plenty of motivation, reason, and policy to engage in such things? There are many differences between the US and other countries/enemies, but this is hardly one of them. At the end of the day, I suspect this is less about the ethics of the US hacking China and the notion of it hacking its own citizens, and the scandal of one of their own supposedly hiding out in some Chinese territory because, hey, it’s the Chinese, the “other”.

            Fauna’s taken a long enough break from you guys so I’ll put in a request on doing some Snowden coverage. If not, maybe I’ll do it but eh…I kinda wanna get back to developing my high-end resort prison.

          • Germandude

            Wow. Such a long post for my sentence which wasn’t even criticizing you or cS as a whole… I understood that cS is trying to focus on the most popular topics of the Chinese internet and that it is then logical to post this alien hoax story since it must be more popular. I feel fine with cS doing that since it clearly stated its intention.

            My phrase: “We should get our priorities right then” was ironic or sarcastic, whichever you prefer. I know far too well that the Snowden story, just like the Assange case will be on tomorrow’s newspapers backpage in the next days because “Hey, Angelina Jolie took off her breast” (respect to her btw) or “Kim Kardashian’s underwear is showing a brown stripe after a fart”.

            In my eyes, I’d prefer if cS posted more relevant stories, be it stories about politics, laws, cases where people got their right granted or where the government refused to give them their rights. I take whatever you dish out (except that music and joke stuff, that’s just “meh”). If I am interested in reading/discussing real politics, cS is not the place to do so. No offence.

            In the end, we should get our priorities right, correct?

          • Kai

            Uh, dude, I didn’t think you were criticizing me or cS. I’m not sure what I said made you feel that way. I was just sharing my thoughts on the subject. I interpreted your comment about priorities as the priorities of Chinese netizens.

          • BiggJ

            “.I kinda wanna get back to developing my high-end resort prison.”

            Are you playing tropico or something? lol

          • Kai

            Prison Architect, some game a friend introduced me to awhile back. It’s in alpha so it’s buggy as all hell but I like these sort of games.

          • BiggJ

            Yeah I got that a week or so ago. I have the alpha 7 yeah and it’s buggy as hell. On steam they have the alpha 10 but im not buying that. When I got it though I played it for a while and must of had to start over 20 times. It’s fun though. I noticed that injured people would stay on the medical beds and would not leave and that messed my whole operation up. I been playing a new game called” game dev tycoon”. It’s a pretty good game. It’s only a small file and no need to crack it or anything. Just install and play. It’s only 100mb

            http://isohunt.com/torrent_details/475263366/game+dev?tab=summary

          • Kai

            I torrented Alpha 10 so I’m not familiar with the bugs of the previous versions. I just know the laundry system is really buggy and results in my prisoners regularly rioting destroying all my precious design work.

            LoL, Game Dev Tycoon looks pretty interesting. The friend who introduced me to Prison Architect also loves tycoon games. I’ll have to ask if he’s heard of it. Thanks for the torrent link too.

          • BiggJ

            Yeah game dev is fun for one play through. Something about it keeps me playing. And that link I used isohunt because kat.ph was down when I was write that. Oh and did you know they finally cracked the the new simcity game? And it works too but you can only play one map. It’s pretty fun. I think I might by it. I wanted to play it first before I bought it. To install it though was a bit tricky, but nothing too hard. With the online for the real game game would make the game fun.

          • Kai

            Oh crap. When I was in the States, I dropped by Fry’s to see if I could be tempted into buying several games I was thinking about (XCOM, Sim City, and SC2:HotS). I ended up not buying any but regretting Sim City the most, cuz it was 40 bucks at Fry’s but is 50 online (yeah, people asked why I even considered buying a physical copy). I’m still on the fence, partially because I’m afraid it’ll just take over my life.

            Does it have to be mounted to be played? I once figured out how to do all the usual steps to play cracked games I torrented back in the day but after years of not bothering, I’ve forgotten how to do all that stuff and can’t be bothered to figure it out most of the time if it isn’t straightforward.

            Your good review is tempting me to buy Sim City. Ugh. Must resist.

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            I have the physical copy but no, you don’t have to have the disk in to play.

            SimCity is a lot of fun and mostly looks great. I do tend to get burned out on it quickly, though. They still have a lot of tweaking to do on it, as well.

          • Kai

            Ah, what a brainfart on my part. Given that the game can be downloaded, of course it doesn’t have to be mounted. My bad. But my original reason for wanting a physical copy was because I wouldn’t have to spend the time downloading it and could reinstall that much easily if I had to.

            Pointless now since I managed to get a DVD stuck in my slot drive a few days ago and can’t get it to eject (pressing the eject, it tries to but something is preventing it from sliding out so it just ends up reengaging and firing up my VLC). This sort of problem requires drive disassembly, and I’m not sure I want to bother.

            It’s a copy of the latest Die Hard movie, so now my DVD drive has become a permanent copy of old John McClane trying to reconnect with his son. Ugh.

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            I could watch that scene of the bad guys tumbling over each other as McClane spews from from that m249 over and over again. Not a bad choice of movie to get stuck in there.

          • Kai

            LoL, that scene was pretty ridiculous, but I’m not sure I agree it’s a good movie to have permanently stuck in my computer. I could do worse, of course, but…

          • BiggJ

            Funny you say that about your dvd drive. My wife laptop does the same thing but if you go into “my computer” and right click on your dvd drive like “cd drive F:” or something and choose “eject” from the list…..that popped it out. lol That the only way her drive works now. I don’t know if that will work for you but it’s worth a try. lol

          • Kai

            My initial Google search for solutions gave me that suggestion and I tried it. I have a physical eject button on my keyboard but that and the software (via Windows Explorer) eject functions result in the same problem. It’s not that the drive isn’t getting the signal to eject, it’s trying to but it can’t. Something is probably interfering or catching (slightly warped disc?) against something and the drive won’t force it out so it’ll just reengage it, spooling it up, making a bunch of spinning noises as it normally does, and then launching the DVD menu.

          • BiggJ

            Yeah that sucks. Well I guess bring it to a shop or figit with it yourself lol. How old it your laptop?

          • Kai

            I got as far as disassembling the bottom panel to investigate if there was some sort of manual ejection mechanism that wasn’t accessible from the outside but that’s when I pretty much accepted that this requires complete drive disassembly.

            I got my laptop in mid 2010. Wow, I guess it’s been 3 years now. It still feels pretty solid and has held up well aside from some chipped off enamel (?) on the E and N keys and some discoloration of the polished aluminum where my palms rest. Oh, and some messed up dead pixels on the screen (which weirdly happened before but cleared up on its own, so not sure if it’ll clear up on its own this time).

          • Mighty

            Are you not going off topic here? Way off, if I may say so. Kai, as the Moderator I want to see you dish out ‘warnings’ here.

          • Mighty

            Btw, I was being funny there.

          • Kai

            I understand. Our comment policy explicitly says “may” be moderated because generally, and as you can see from the abundance of off-topic comments on cS, we generally don’t moderate against people having natural conversations, especially in collapsible threads (so people who don’t want to scroll through the entire conversation can just minimize it — one of the benefits of Disqus).

            The only time we’ve been forced to invoke that rule is usually in cases also involving flooding/spamming, such as where people are making top level comments that are irrelevant and intended to disrupt commenting on the post. Hope that clarifies.

          • Mighty

            I was just messing with you.

          • BiggJ

            No it don’t have to be mounted. It comes as a .rar file that you just extract anywhere. It comes with alittle program to link you to a private server. After that you install “origin” which is EA’s game downloader thing. And type in any user name you want like. “aaaaaa” password”aaaaaa” anything at all works. And then it logs you in to the simcity download icon and click it and it installs it then you can play. That pretty much the jiffs of it. There are a few other things you need to do before but nothing too crazy. The file from the torrent site is only 2gb.

            The game is good….but I don’t think that addictive. Maybe online would be different. I’ve been playing these “Telltale games” lately. Been trying to beat ‘Back to the future” lol I played though all of “the walking dead”. The games are like interactive movies. You can get them all on torrents and dont need to mount them and super easy to install. My wife love them. She has beat “the walking dead, jurrasic park and back to the future…she is playing the “Law and Order” one now. I would say if you want to watch a movie play these games. Pretty interesting. The walking dead was really good. It’s not like the movies or Tv shows…Just like another story in that world. Most of them take place after or before the movie. Try the walking dead though. Like your choices affects how the game goes.

            http://www.telltalegames.com/

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            oh, shit, I didn’t know he meant a pirated copy.

          • BiggJ

            What the best thing about playing it online?

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            Nothing aside from things like downloadable content (only the free stuff for me) being less of a hassle, and if you play with your friends, it’s a little fun to build cities in the same region with each other. Nothing super special about it, but I was just going for relative ease. I don’t think the game is worth the $50 I paid for it, at least personally with the moderate amount of time I am on it, but $25 seems fair. Or free. That too. These days I’m mostly just playing BF3 with friends. Can’t wait for BF4 to come out so I can throw grenades around Shanghai. It looks pretty rad.

            Speaking of which, is there not any backlash from China about American tanks rolling around China in the next Battlefield game? I figured there would be, even if China is an ally (haven’t found anything on the story line yet), but the multiplayer pits the US vs China in some of the maps, which of course, because it’s a team vs team game, and it will just have the US, China, and Russia to choose from. But, I haven’t heard of Battlefield getting the same flak that some other movies or games have gotten lately.

          • BiggJ

            Yeah I was reading about that. The the new BF looks sick. Also EA is coming out with a new Star wars Battlefront. I loved Battlefront 2. I hope 3 is going to be good. Anyhow yeah i’m sure china will boycott the game but who cares?It’s not like you can play them online in china anyway and there is no way to stop people from getting them. It’s just a stupid game away. You know EA makes some of the best games but lately they charge too much for them. ANd if you do buy the game you need to pay up the ass the DLC content.

            I’m mostly a PC gamer. If you have a good PC the games are way better. I do have a PS3 but only for sports games since fucking EA don’t make any more for PC. They still make FIFA and they have NBA2k13 but don’t have NHL or NFL. I don’t know why. The NHL is what I have a PS3 for. And that all I use it for.The last NHL game EA made for PC was 09.

            Yeah the simcity I like games like that I was curious on how the online was. I usually never buy games. I can just download them with full DLC content online for free. The only ones I buy are the ones with a good online gaming. If they gave you the DLC for free and you just need to purchase the game itself…I would buy more. I’ll pay for an expansion..but not DLC like weapons or clothes or shit like that. For example if you wanted to play the sims 3 with all expansions and DLC content how much would that be? I’m guessing it would be close to 1000 dollars. Anyway EA get a lot of flack about shit and they should. But they make a good game. I’ll give them that.

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            I use PC. I have a PS3 I got from my mom after she bought a second one so she could play when my stepdad is playing his games. She got into video games after she had a bunch of neck and back surgeries and had to sit there all day on the couch waiting for it to heal. I use to use it to play BF3 with my brother who lives on the other side of the country, but since I built this PC earlier in the year, I don’t mess with the PS3 except to stream movies I downloaded onto the TV from my computer. PC is always the way to go.

            If you play BF3 on PC, you need to play with my friends and I. We need one more guy in our squad haha

          • BiggJ

            Yeah I don’t have the legit copy of BF3. I think I will buy 4 when it come out. I like the online with COD better then BF. It’s a good match up. There is just something i like about COD. The story line in both games are good.

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            Let’s start a CoD vs BF fight. I enjoy both games, but still. These are the best kinds of internet arguments.

          • James

            it gave me a wtf moment just looking at its trailer, guy using a trijicon reflex w a magnifier going across a fligt deck on a cvn flips the magnifier & up popz an acog rco reticle? wtf? 800 meter reflex lol. other funny part was seeing what looked like a hakko panorama in the shanghai trailer
            never played bf series, can you change optics in it? not a big fan of reflex or tritium, washes out too easily. trijicoin started putting batteries in their reflex & using fiber optic in their acogs coz of it.

          • James

            x

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            The weapons, at least in multiplayer, are customizable with an array of optics (you have to unlock them, along with extended mags, foregrips, heavy barrels, etc etc), from 1x hologram and red dot type sights to 12x ballistic scopes, and all sorts in between. The single player (which, the aircraft carrier level was) wasn’t really customizable, but the weapons dropped by enemies or dead allies were generally all pretty assorted in their optics and features.

            The one where you flip the acog to the side and use the iron sites, or have a side mounted scope, that is a new feature in the game.

          • Kai

            Werd, thanks for the recommendations. With whisker’s testimony, I’m edging ever closer to buying Sim City legit. Only thing is, I bet it’ll overheat my video card and have my laptop hiberate on thermal event though. Ugh, had I know this would happen, I wouldn’t have opted for the dedicated Radeon GPU in the first place. My laptop conspires against allowing me to play all the fancy games I got nicer specs for in order to play.

          • Germandude

            Try War Thunder. It’s the only free to play game that I got stuck on. Beautiful graphics and fun gameplay.

        • lonetrey / Dan

          Ah, thank you for the explanation. I guess I can’t demand that the Chinese net have the same interests as America’s…

    • Les Battersby

      or the xiamen bus fire?

  • Alex

    Also, they came to inspect the alien but he didn’t let them in?

    Lol, if he was just taking serious a little little bit, they would have entered the house by force. For national security… or even “world” security. lol. Specially a government like thie chinese one, which has too much power. The yanks would have done the same.

  • asian don draper

    where the hell was mulder and skully?!

    • YourSupremeCommander

      Ask the smoking guy.

      • Washington Bullets

        If you really think about it, cancer man is one of the best/worst villains of all time in any show. Best in the since that he’s sooooo evil. CGB Spender trades away the future of the whole human race for his personal gain. Brilliant.

        • Probotector

          Didn’t he murder his own son too?

  • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

    If an alien craft flies down and steals my bike, I’m not going to be standing there, throwing rocks at it. I’m going to be beating Usain Bolt’s land speed record in the opposite direction.

    • the ace of books

      I’m surprised nobody 凑ed the 热闹.

  • http://simplydesigned.tumblr.com/ maybeabanana

    What a hack. The 2nd photo feels like he couldn’t help but laugh. The truely unthought out creation of a trolling boob.

    • the ace of books

      World’s first 山寨 alien! Only in China :D

      • j-20

        yeah, we china is good at making fake things,such as J-20 andJ-31

  • the ace of books

    An alien made out of … lard?

    Glad that when he was DIYing his own alien he made sure to detail the vag. Pirorities, guys. You gotta have ‘em.

    • mr.wiener

      The Cardiff had a pretty large wang. People do like their fakes to be anatomically correct.
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cardiff_Giant

      • Probotector

        Better than Damien Hirst’s “Verity” statue, depicting a cross-section of a pregnant woman.

      • James

        peking man musta been jealous

  • Mighty

    白色纯棉小裤裤 says: “Statistics show that reports of UFO sightings in America is 5 times greater than China. This is only because Chinese are good hosts and choose not to report such occurrence to maintain harmony between Earth and the cosmic beings. I conclude that this farmer, Li, is clearly influenced by Western propaganda to gain attention”.

    • oiwuef

      So much time on your hands, as if your own pitiful comments weren’t enough, you are expanding to helping other people write their own. When you feel ready, help me too, ask yourself to shut the fuck up and hit your ugly head with a brick. Thanks.

      • Mighty

        Obviously I wouldn’t be doing this If I didn’t have this much time on my hands. You seem to have enough time to put in your comment. So why don’t you shove your pretty face in your ass if you are bored. Thanks.

        • Kai

          I vaguely understand you and little white panties had some kind of argument in some past post, but I’m sincerely asking you to consider how it looks that you’ve since then gone out of your way to parody and smear him at every opportunity without subsequent provocation except for your grudge over the initial argument? Why give the person so much power over you?

          So far it looks kinda petty, but at some point, it’s going to cross over into harassment and you’ll be no different from the people who regularly harass linette or eattot, regardless of whatever they’ve said that is irksome. It’s one thing to disagree with someone. It’s another to be preoccupied with them. Come on, dude, let it go.

          • Guang Xiang

            Well, I am glad to be able to see that 白色纯棉小裤裤 writes some pretty inane comments. Thanks Mighty.

          • zi_ni_ma_13

            its a secret love they have, dark and dirty and muddy, but still its love. i am not with or against it, but he has the upvote love.

            and if fair is fair, i hope u would also send a message to little white panties. or even better send a message to everyone that says something stupid on here. i am sure it would be well worth your time.

          • Kai

            I’ve repeatedly seen Mighty post random parodies of little white cotton panties but I haven’t seen vice versa. If I’ve missed it, feel free to link me to it.

            We don’t have a policy against saying something stupid, and stupid things often get a lot of upvote love as well. However, we do have a policy against harassment. I don’t think Mighty is at that point, but I am trying to give him a nudge to put things in perspective because I think he’d understand.

            There are a few people who have taken to trolling and harassing other commenters on this site that we regularly get flagged comments and complaint emails for. Everyone thinks their behavior is justified, but fair is fair. Those people can’t be moderated while Mighty is ignored. It shouldn’t matter who you are or who you’re targeting. Feel free to disagree with each other when the time comes, but repeatedly parodying another person is pushing it.

          • zi_ni_ma_13

            u guys really get complaint emails? didnt mean to get you upset or anything, i guess that i thought no one took this site so seriously.

          • Kai

            Yeah, we do, both from regular commenters and the random visitor or lurker who just gets upset about some comments or the state of the commenting section in general.

            I think it’s easy to see that many people take the site and the comments seriously while others don’t. I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with either approach. Simply put, we have a comment policy, and we try to uphold it.

          • Mighty

            I find a hint of hypocisy and a sense of favoritism here.

            You are focused on an action that is not directly aimed at an individual. What I’ve done is, as you accurately described, just a ‘parody’ that others find humour in.

            Does your policy state that I may not quote, misquote, slander, or defame anyone? If it does many of us are in violation. What if 白色纯棉小裤裤 is changed to Kai? Would you feel that it was aimed at you? How are you certain it’s not another Kai? Remember, a name is not unique.

            If I repeatedly post “”Kai, you’re a closet homo” in DIRECT replies to your comments that would be trolling and is clear harassment against you. My ‘parody’ is not under a direct comment of anyone.

            Unlike comments/posts by Trolls, the Up-votes for my ‘parody’ is self-evident. By the same token, but in a negative light, why are comments with extreme down-votes not deleted?

            Your decision to address my ‘parody’ rather than to deal with the real issue of hateful comments against a bigger audience make you appear to practice favoritism. And it’s clear what ‘side’ you cater to.

            If you want to maintain a level playing field I suggest you start with the known Trolls to demonstrate your commitment to protect everyone from harassment.

          • Kai

            There are hateful comments that others find humor in with a lot of upvotes on cS. When the people responsible for those are determined to be intentionally behaving in such a way with the purpose to harass people or elicit negative emotional responses for shits and giggles, we moderate them.

            You’re putting words in a specific person’s mouth with the intention to mock what you suspect to be his character and beliefs. This seems to me to be directly aimed at a specific individual.

            If you were doing that directly under his comments, you’d have the excuse of having proximate provocation and expressing immediate disagreement.

            But you’ve been doing it repeatedly on multiple posts without him having said anything at all.

            That edges towards harassment.

            We’ve gotten emails and flagged comments referencing the same sort of behavior targeting other commenters. If we’re going to mind those, I felt I should mind your situation and hopefully nip it in the bud.

            There are a lot of upvotes on a lot of different behaviors. You’ll be hard pressed to argue that only the totally excellent most valuable comments on this website have an abundance of upvotes. We don’t look the other way just because a behavior is popular with a group of people. We likewise don’t censor comments or opinions simply because they are unpopular with a group of people.

            We moderate against what we consider dishonest or malicious behavior.

            I understand you do not agree with what we consider to be behavior we want to discourage in the comments section. I understand you do not see our other moderating efforts. We make judgement calls on whether to moderate users or comments. We’ve done both, according to what we think is required. We struggle with trying to maintain an open discussion section without it collapsing under excesses. Just about no one appreciates the fact that we can’t seem to please anyone and there is always someone who wants us to moderate more or less.

            If I didn’t think I could reason with you respectfully as a peer, I wouldn’t even bother. Give me the benefit of the doubt as I’ve given you. I’m not trying to make you my enemy, I’m just telling you that this specific behavior is discouraged under our comment policy.

          • Mighty

            Ok, Kai, to give you ‘face’, I will stop mocking the little white cotton panties. This is in no way an admission of guilt nor my an agreement to your reason and explanation.

            What irked me was that you called me out by name and publicly scorned me. I’ve never seen you taking such approach toward the trolls that you admit to exist. So I hope you understand why I feel the bias.

            I don’t agree how it was handled but I still hold respect for you.

          • 白色纯棉小裤裤

            Don’t stop, Its fun to watch you going insane on some internet commenter who had an argument with you.
            The only way to make me feel bad is to beat my argment with valid evidences and logic, obviously that’s not your strength.

          • BiggJ

            People do all the time, but you call it propaganda. Even stats you call propaganda if it don’t agree with you. You just say it’s put there by america to make china look bad. And you can’t compare america or any western country with china because the stats could wrong in china. America keeps pretty good statistics. Where china don’t. So buy putting a stat from america against china is already invalid.And I’m not even bias on the situation. I really don’t care for either country. I’ll talk shit on america just as I will china. So i’m not takng the US side. But when it come to evidence with america and china….it’s very hard to compare.

          • 白色纯棉小裤裤

            http://www.huffingtonpost.com/zeng-jinyan/sexual-assault-china_b_1073693.html

            Go read this article and tell me if it’s a propaganda.

            Rescued sex dungeon victims were under detention for killing fellow capatives, and this is described by the author as “Women who have been raped, sexually violated, or forced to be sex slaves face persecution, not justice, from the authorities in China.”

          • BiggJ

            Where does it say the girls killed fellow captives?

          • 白色纯棉小裤裤

            http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/30/world/asia/china-sex-dungeon

            Here’s another article on that case.

            I think this one is much more objective.

          • BiggJ

            OK, so what are you trying to say?

          • mr.wiener

            O.k. Disgusting, horrible saddening ,but what is your point? Is it that you thought the article was too emotive and critical of Chinese authorities?

          • 白色纯棉小裤裤

            My point is this article claimed something but failed to prove it. So its inappropriate to use it as evidence in an argument.

          • mr.wiener

            What, you mean with the ongoing rape cases against members of the local authorities and such?
            Agreed.
            It looked like it was tacked on to the end of the dungeon case as a space filler and a quick swipe against Chinese authorities.
            Bad journalism[from the west] but journalism within China has to improve in terms of quality and …well daring to confront authorities so that their stories will be the ones used by western journalist when they write up stories in China.

          • 白色纯棉小裤裤

            The cnn one is a good one.
            Journalism can be good or bad. We have no control over it.
            The point is not to reference the bad ones.

          • mr.wiener

            Hmm. not trying to point fingers , as fox news is an abortion no-one can be proud of [unless it is a parody and i’m missing the point] But Chinese media needs to grow the hell up. Serious reporting seems to be done by bloggers and so much of the rest is “yellow journalism” , no pun intended, made only to titilate .

          • 白色纯棉小裤裤

            And by ” claimed something but failed to prove it” I mean the article stated that the rescued victims were persecuted by the authority but this was acturally not the case.

          • Mighty

            This is the article – Whisker brought up to tell you why women are hesitant in reporting rapes – that you discounted as fake Western propaganda. Tsk tsk tsk…

          • 白色纯棉小裤裤

            the cnn article works the opposite way, a woman reported rape to the police and justice is served.

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            Soon she’ll be telling you to pretend a superior race of aliens is harvesting humans for rape, and that it’s far better for them to rape and torture you and kill you than to eat your meat…so that proves that the article is propaganda.

          • Mighty

            She’s really gone ‘insane’. Poor girl.

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            Wow, you really took this article to heart, didn’t you?

          • 白色纯棉小裤裤

            I mentioned this article because this is the only thing I called propaganda and all of you took the word to heart.

          • Mighty

            I’m hardly going insane by something I find silly or ridiculous. You, on the other hand, seem most affected by what people say and are constantly driven (insane) to put in your thoughts. I’m just here for the entertainment but you’re here to defend your beliefs. Have fun!

            PS: LOL@”valid evidence and logic”. You’re right, distorted evidence is not my strength.

          • Kai

            You’re a fairly new commenter here. Old readers have seen me try reasoning with people plenty of times, even too many times, for better or for worse. In fact, I’m about the only mod here on cS who will. I understand why you feel singled out but again, I hope you’ll also see that I’m communicating with you precisely because I think you can also understand where we’re coming from. It may be small consolation, but it’s meant well.

          • Mighty

            If you are aware I am new here the why not start by pointing out that you had made such requests to others in the past. I understand your job isn’t to ‘baby sit’ users who are, in your eyes, out of line. But users also need to be made to feel that there is a level of ‘fairness’ here. Especially from the Moderator who’s supposed to ‘moderate’ in an unbiased manner.

            If you are so concerned about ‘harassment’ why is nothing done with usernames like ‘Chinkicide’, which is extremely offensive. I don’t mind silliness and enjoy poking fun at people, but even that is too hateful for my taste.

            I will change my user name that relates to Cotton Panties so please don’t mind.

          • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

            I did notice that Chinkicide’s ridiculous “no such thing as an innocent Chinese” comment seemed to disappear the other day, along with another.

          • Mighty

            The name itself is a ‘comment’ that sends a clear message so corrective action should be taken as well.

          • Kai

            I’m not sure why I should have pointed out that I had made such requests to others in the past given my clearly displayed moderator status. Isn’t that like getting upset at a cop for not pointing out to you that he’s warned and ticketed other people before?

            I think a major misunderstanding here is that I can moderate in an unbiased manner without you recognizing it, just like people who get tickets feel it’s unfair because they see other people not getting ticketed.

            How do you know nothing has been done with users like Chinkicide? You’ve been here long enough to have seen/heard ech0 being moderated. If you haven’t, it just demonstrates that we can moderate without you seeing it and recognizing it.

            We don’t publicize all of our moderation because it has the effect of encouraging certain motivated people to test it.

            You have a username that relates to cotton panties? Have you been sockpuppeting or impersonating?

          • Mighty

            Honestly, I don’t know what’s being done because I don’t see you openly telling them as you did with me. Maybe the Chinese blood in me is making me feel over sensitive about this?

            I was only wondering why the apparent disparity? Anyway, since you put forth the analogy of a policeman, how about a friendly debate?

            I’m new in the hood, I see lots of punks writing hateful graffiti messages. Every so often I see the cops cruising by but did nothing to stop them. I pick up a can of spray paint and graff some art works to balance the appearance.

            Soon, the cops come yelling out my name with a bullhorn. I protest as to why they didn’t stop the punks when they saw them defacing walls but take exception to me? Cops say “We’re not sure why we should have to point out that we had made such stops to others in the past given our clearly visible uniforms as police officers”.

            Regarding username, it was a joke. Do I have to use ‘LOL’ and ‘ :p emoticons to indicate a joke? LOL

          • Kai

            I’m openly telling you because I don’t think you’ve crossed the line and want to bring you back from the edge. If i don’t think someone will listen to reason, I won’t bother and will just moderate them. It’s a silver lining. I know it may not feel that way but try to look at it from another perspective.

            I personally don’t quite see how you’re “balancing” the appearance with many of your appearance but let’s say that’s your intention. Going by your analogy, you’re 1. not recognizing that there may be differences in the type of graffiti allowed; 2. not recognizing that the punks you’ve seen may have been caught and dealt with when you aren’t looking.

            The analogy is more like this is a public graffiti wall where people are allowed to take up a spray paint can and add their doodle, but there are publicly posted limits for the interests of the community. For example, advertising is not allowed, nor is spray painting a disproportionate amount of the wall (flooding). If you have a genuine opinion, you’re allowed to make it, even if it is controversial or objectionable to others. You’re not allowed to express something and attribute it to another person (impersonation, sock puppetry). You’re also not allowed to harass others, such as repeatedly targeting someone without proximate provocation. I see you starting to do that. I see you having done that for quite some time now. I thought you’d stop on your own but instead you seem to be persisting. So I’ve come over and I’m asking you to stop. Yeah, it’s in front of the other people tagging the wall. Yeah, that’s kinda embarrassing, but it’s better than me throwing you into the back of the car.

            Mighty, you need to wrap your head around the notion that there is a specific difference in your behavior that I’m discouraging you from versus the other objectionable but different behavior you’re thinking of. If you see anyone who is behaving as you are that isn’t being moderated as you feel you have been, please flag the comment and direct our attention to it. Feel free to complain about it publicly to shame us if you want. Post a “@kaipan:disqus Hey, this guy is repeatedly and consistently harassing this other commenter, why aren’t you getting on their case?!?” In the vast majority of the cases, we probably already have dealt with them, aren’t warning them because we have reason to believe they are beyond that, or you’ve misunderstood what we will moderate.

            Finally, I don’t see how that last comment was a joke. I’m not even sure what you were trying to make a joke about. If this was a discussion about impersonation and sock-puppetry, then I might interpret a statement after all this back and forth about changing your username as maybe being a joke, but this is a discussion about edging towards harassment. I don’t see how that remark fits. As for adding LOL and emoticons, it often helps ensure that your intent is clearly communicated. If you care about that, then maybe add them to be safe. If you don’t, then you’ll run into misunderstandings like this.

          • Guest

            #FF0000

          • Guest

            OK OK OK LOL!

          • Mighty

            How do I delete this?

          • Mighty

            OK, OK, OK
            There is no point in going back and forth. I have been warned.
            LOL!

  • BiggJ

    “And just as he was taking the photo, he discovered his bicycle
    being sucked away by the flying saucer. Seeing this, Li Kai angrily
    picked up rocks on the Yellow River shore used for flood prevention and
    threw them.”

    Why in the hell would aliens even waste the time to take a chinese bike? Once he said the aliens took his bike that would be all the evidence I needed to say this was bullshit. Of all things on this planet to take they would take a shitty $10 chinese bike? This story is funny as shit.

    • Washington Bullets

      They traverse time and space in order to collect advanced Chinese bicycling technology.

    • http://sinopathic.com/ terroir

      It says “Forever” on the bicycle, so you can’t fault the alien for thinking that it is an artifact.

    • http://500px.com/justinrjones whiskersthecat

      Maybe they’re inner-city juvenile alien delinquents.

    • Probotector

      I know right. I’m surprised he didn’t say that they did it because they needed the battery from his dian deng che to power their spacecraft.

    • James

      where’ve i heard that story about an alien w a bike before? hmmm can’t remember

      http://tjhouston.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ET.jpg

  • Mainlander

    So convincing. LOL

  • BiggJ

    And this guy thinks aliens did everything.

  • Ana Belen Ruiz

    “It looks real” how can people say that? Have they seen an alien before?

    • BiggJ

      I have……………

      • the ace of books

        I’ve seen your mom, is that an acceptable substitute? :)

        • BiggJ

          Could be lol. The alien I was talking about was about 4 foot tall, light brown color and had this insatiable appetite for cats. At first I mistaken him for a chinese person…..but turn out it was this guy.

          • Probotector

            Alf was the shit.

          • BiggJ

            Yeah dude Alf was funny has hell.lol

          • Probotector

            Alf pogs! Remember Alf? He’s back, in pog form.

          • BiggJ

            You sold my soul for Alf pogs!!!lol

          • Probotector

            Loved that episode!

          • BiggJ

            Yeah that’s a classic. The old simpsons are the best. Like up to season 12 or so.

          • Mighty

            I used to like the Simpsons so much I named my first dog ‘Bart’ even though it was a female.

          • Mighty

            Didn’t he sing or something?

          • the ace of books

            People referencing childhood shows I didn’t watch! MY ONE WEAKNESS

        • BiggJ

          You know this has 3 down votes and im not one of them. hahah I’m the only one who should be pissed about that. lol

          • the ace of books

            I know, right? And it’s not even a thing to get pissed about. Someone who gets their dick bent out of shape over Yo Mamma jokes has got to have gossamer skin, I swear.

  • Monkeekong

    this guy is a jackass

  • mr.wiener

    China reminds me of America in the 50’s sometimes [socially]. funny as all hell, I wonder what will happen when they have their 60’s?

    • https://www.facebook.com/dinie.akhemu Piratehana

      im waiting for the 70’s China

      http://thefreshscent.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/2815909704_cd6d658945.jpg

      Jin Chin has been quiet lately… could it be that he is actually Snowden in disguise? hmm…. intriguing. He is more than meets the eye, that is for certain.

      • mr.wiener

        let’s be thankful for small mercies.

      • Mighty

        Very doubtful in that Snowden seems to be of very high IQ.

      • James

        80’s workout?

    • Mighty

      They skipped the 60’s and are experiencing the sexual liberty of the 70’s.

  • SonofSpermcube

    Rubber? I saw that and thought “frybread.”

  • Reila90

    ChinaSmack should post an article this recent huge news about Snowden.

    • mr.wiener

      Well we agree on something for a change.

    • iLL

      Chinasmack is posting alot of crappy stories lately. I mean there stories are so out of date recently. The only going for it, is us on the forums.

  • The Worst Muslim

    Aliens have vaginas. Also, lol’ing hard at the chinese professing it’s real. Yeah you guys! Aliens have gigantic flappy vaginas!

  • 你爸

    what a piece of lameass news! what about the bus fire in xiamen?

  • 剑胆琴心

    if i live in forest or dessert,i would train a wolf,then put it on loricae,that’s super exciting…

    • mr.wiener

      ? um cool. Sorry what’s loricae?

      • 剑胆琴心

        armour

        • mr.wiener

          That would be cool.

      • moody

        i think you should ask the question to the two persons who upvoted that post

      • James

        plural of lorica, latin for a type of armor

    • James
  • bprichard

    Can I assume that all the people commenting that it looks real are being sarcastic? Or super drunk? I don’t want to have to assume they’re idiots.

  • moody

    much less funnier than watching that “naive”/retarded reporter mistaking a sex toy for an ancien mushroom.

    • zi_ni_ma_13

      yeah, thats my all time favorite. i outted one of my pervert chinese friends with the video. everyone was all like “i would have never figured out what that is.” then my pervert friend was all like ” its so obvious its a fake vagina, they sell them around the corner at the tiny sex shop”

      awkward silence …….

      • Mighty

        But he almost said, “I bought the same one from the sex shop around the corner”.

    • Mighty

      After seeing it in the wash tub I was waiting to see them slice and cook it.

    • Probotector

      Describing the ‘mushroom’ Ye Yunfeng commented: “We can see there is something like a mouth, and on the other side there is a hole that connects all the way through to the other end. It is very smooth. It feels very much like meat.”

  • http://aileilei.tumblr.com/ El Puma R.

    lmao ! that alien has some unique chinese facial features. what a coincidence

  • dumbledore

    BUT IT LOOKS SO REAL!!!

  • Yoda

    Hmmm

    • Mighty

      ‘A vagina my friend has’ – Yoda.

  • solangel yañez rueda

    (La torre
    de Babel= lenguajes diversos)

    Génesis 11; 1 Tenía
    entonces toda la tierra una sola lengua y unas mismas palabras. 2 Y aconteció
    que cuando salieron de oriente, hallaron una llanura en la tierra de Sinar, y
    se establecieron allí. 3 Y se dijeron unos a otros: Vamos, hagamos ladrillo y
    cozámoslo con fuego. Y les sirvió el ladrillo en lugar de piedra, y el asfalto
    en lugar de mezcla. 4 Y dijeron: Vamos, edifiquémonos una ciudad y una torre,
    cuya cúspide llegue al cielo (la iglesia santa en la
    era de la gracia, ahora); y hagámonos un nombre, (usurpar lo de Dios) por si fuéremos esparcidos sobre la faz de
    toda la tierra (Este versículo encierra el misterio, de
    querer llegar a Dios desde lo material, saber que habría un reino espiritual en
    el final de las eras, el de Cristo hoy). 5 Y descendió Jehová para ver
    la ciudad y la torre que edificaban los hijos de los hombres (naves espaciales entre los tiempos u eras de Dios). 6
    Y dijo Jehová: He aquí el pueblo es uno, y todos estos tienen un solo lenguaje;
    y han comenzado la obra, y nada les hará desistir ahora de lo que han pensado
    hacer. 7 Ahora, pues, descendamos, y confundamos allí su lengua, para que
    ninguno entienda el habla de su compañero. 8 Así los esparció Jehová desde allí
    sobre la faz de toda la tierra, y dejaron de edificar la ciudad (Dios les puso un estate quieto, no permitió más ciencia, le
    redujo la vida al hombre a 80 años). 9 Por esto fue llamado el nombre de
    ella Babel, porque allí confundió Jehová el lenguaje de toda la tierra, y desde
    allí los esparció sobre la faz de toda la tierra.

    (Los
    descendientes de Sem- los semitas o ascendentes de Jesucristo)

    (1 Cr.
    1.24-27)

    10 Estas son las generaciones de Sem: Sem, de
    edad de cien años, engendró a Arfaxad, dos años después del diluvio. 11 Y vivió
    Sem, después que engendró a Arfaxad, quinientos años, y engendró hijos e hijas.
    (8.000, engendrando Sem hijos e hijas años de vida,
    humana después de Adán) 12 Arfaxad vivió treinta y cinco años, y
    engendró a Sala.

    facebook.com/solangelyr/bibliainterpretacionespiritual.

  • http://www.BeautyCastleS.com/ Jolie Chen

    Is it reaL???

    (BeautyCastles.com
    – K&J Fashion)

    • Mighty曹

      Are you real?

Personals @ chinaSMACK - Meet people, make friends, find lovers? Don't be so serious!»