Chinese Self-Defense Tips for Girls and Even “Manly Women”

Self-defense tips for girls/women.

From Sina Weibo:

@正常人办不出这种事儿: Even if you’re a manly woman, you should know these!!!

1. When someone is following you while walking at night, pretend to be on the phone.

1. When someone is following you while walking at night, pretend to be on the phone.

2. When someone stabs at you with a knife, use your purse/bag as a shield!

2. When someone stabs at you with a knife, use your purse/bag as a shield!

3. When returning home, develop the habit of saying "I'm back/home," to avoid others from knowing that you live alone.

3. When returning home, develop the habit of saying “I’m back/home,” to avoid others from knowing that you live alone.

4. If there is a car driving alongside you and you are afraid of your bag/purse being snatched, then run away in the opposite direction the car is moving.

4. If there is a car driving alongside you and you are afraid of your bag/purse being snatched, then run away in the opposite direction the car is moving.

5. If a criminal wraps their arm around your neck from behind, pinch the inside of his upper arm with all your strength!

5. If a criminal wraps their arm around your neck from behind, pinch the inside of his upper arm with all your strength!

If a criminal grabs you by the neck, use all your strength to break his little/pinky finger.

If a criminal grabs you by the neck, use all your strength to break his little/pinky finger.

If you are suddenly stopped and held by a criminal, use all your strength to strike upwards at the other person's chin.

If you are suddenly stopped and held by a criminal, use all your strength to strike upwards at the other person’s chin.

When in the elevator with a single suspicious male, one can stand in a place perpendicular to the on/off button.

When in the elevator with a single suspicious male, one can stand in a place perpendicular to the on/off button.

To prevent a man pretending to be a delivery man from forcing open a door, don't completely open the door when checking if it is a delivery man, but instead keep the chain attached to the door.

To prevent a man pretending to be a delivery man from forcing open a door, don’t completely open the door when checking if it is a delivery man, but instead keep the chain attached to the door.

Comments from Sina Weibo:

孙小辰辰辰:

“I’m back/home”, only to open the door and see a room without a soul in sight. At this moment, one’s mood… might be better to just be raped. [呵呵]

雷雨佳9527:

If you say “I’m home”, what do you do if someone is inside your home?

鱼头没有刺:

Do you think swindlers/scammers read Weibo? I’m so nervous. [拜拜]

aaoteman:

The eighth one is because the elevator has a surveillance camera, which is installed right above the buttons, so if you stand underneath it, if the other person were to come at you, he would be captured by the surveillance camera, and security will know.

在WC小憩:

Whose door at home has a chain?

慈婉彤:

The first one I often use… as long as there is a suspicious person, I’ll always pretend to be on the phone: “Hubby, I’m downstairs, how about you come down to join me for a stroll…?” [拜拜][拜拜][拜拜] Clever!! And sad. [悲催]

杜冲霄:

Eat until you’re fat, that’s safer than anything else. [呵呵]

Lau_MinWoo:

What delivery boys will deliver to your door [nowadays, referring to a popular sentiment that door-to-door delivery services are becoming lazier]?

卖萌的浩zi:

I’ve been going to school these few years, and when I get out, it is also very late. The paths I walk are all small roads where there can be tens of meters before each streetlamp, but I’ve never been afraid. I’ve always held to ruthless principle of “hitting a girl in the bosom, and kicking a boy in the crotch” to tide me through countless walks through the night.

邓邓邓_stronger:

How frightening the third one is! [汗] Making it as if you have a ghost in your home.

MrSeraph:

I know an entire suite of self-defense skills, but haven’t yet had to use any. [呵呵]

王溪Ann:

Actually, you guys don’t understand, the first reaction for a lot of girls is to use their bodies to shield their bags/purses.

RoShan大魔王00:

Why would manly women carry bags/purses? [拜拜]

新东方烹饪学院院花:

[拜拜] If the strange is handsome, then the girl would probably walk slower.

回首又见他12138:

Every time I walk my dog and a see vulgar/lecherous man, I’ll say “Pudding!!! Stop biting people!! I can’t afford it!!!”

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  • crxrunn

    I’m pretty sure that the #1 tip would be to scream or yell for help in a serious physical confrontation, because chances are if the man is bigger and stronger he’ll likely get the upper hand anyways.

    And also, who has a chain in their home door?

    • AbC

      Many apartments tend to have a chain attached to the entry door, similar to those you find in hotel/motel rooms. It’s pretty much non-existant in single dwellings.

    • firebert5

      Doesn’t screaming or yelling for help assume that people in general are likely to stop and help here?

      • AbC

        Spot on there. 9/10 people in China will just look the other way and pretend they didn’t see anything. Plenty of articles of girls being sexually abused in trains filled with passengers and not getting any help.

      • Disney English

        Just because incidents of bystanders declining to help are more regularly documented in China does not mean that China is some sort of special case.

    • ptptp

      I do but I don’t live in China.

    • Zappa Frank

      the chain can be installed…

    • David

      Never see one in China, they are pretty standard in the U.S.

  • AbC

    That first comment is retarded…
    There’s never a situation when you’d ‘rather be raped’ except in a rapist’s fantasy.

    • Disney English

      Think it was a joke, dude.

      • AbC

        I understood it to be a joke too in the context, but it’s still inappropriate given what’s happening around the world.
        (Being a joke doesn’t excuse what content you can use in the joke, such as the one you used on the Nanjing massacre…)

        • Disney English

          You’re over-thinking it.

    • Anark1

      Chill, Winston!

    • nqk123

      sarcasm. chinese know it too

  • Disney English

    Ha. I can just imagine all the Chinese girls out there baulking at the thought of using their bag to fend off a knife attack. Pretty sure half would rather the blade went into their palm instead.

    • AbC

      Agree with you there. But only if you ignore the fact that 90% of the bags carried by Chinese girls are A货(fakes).

      • b duck

        also their bfs buy for them.
        nowadays, no any decent guys!
        save cost get more is the only rule for relationship! haha!

      • SongYii

        The girls are also fake.

  • b duck

    when i can not see anything, i always sing…

  • zachary T

    “Eat until you’re fat, that’s safer than anything else.”

    I don’t know dude, big women can be prettier….

    ( I don’t endorse attacking women though)

    • b duck

      no!
      it’s said poor men like fat women, rich men like slim women.

      • Amused

        That sounds like it has some cannibalistic undertones. Like maybe the poor men are hedging their bets in case of famine or breakup with the knowledge that,”Hey if it all goes sideways I can cut this fat bitch up in the basement and at least get all those steak dinners back”….

  • YourSupremeCommander

    In America, there’s only one tip needed:
    Pull out the 9 mm from your purse, fire at the motherfucker right between the eyes.

    • DavidisDawei

      Absolutely. If you’re a trained professional & forced to draw your weapon, shoot to kill,
      although “between the eyes” is not the first option (unless they are wearing body armor).

      • mr.wiener

        Center body mass, it’s the only way.

        • David

          absolutely. Even if they are wearing body armor it will hurt like hell (especially my .357 with magnum loads). Actually the few people I have draw my weapon on (all in legal circumstances) have just about shit themselves. So pointing the gun is a mighty nice deterrent.

    • KamikaziPilot

      Overused cliche, most women in the US don’t carry a firearm and I doubt most would feel comfortable carrying one everyday.

      • SongYii

        No, no… guns are legal in the U.S., and a very, very small minority are whackjob enough to shoot at anyone for any reason; accordingly, all Americans are gun-toting lunatics. How are you not following this logic? :-D

        • DavidisDawei

          I remember when a friend in China nervously asked me if the USA was really like in the Western movies when people would quick draw on each other with gun battles in the street…..and I started laughing so hard I coughed up my beer.
          She told me many Chinese believe this is how the USA is and many would be too afraid to visit.

          • mr.wiener

            Yeh, and we ride kangaroos shoo poisonous snakes off the dinner table when we sit down to eat.

          • Zappa Frank

            you mean you are not all like mr.Dundee? I have to cancel my vacation in Australia than…

          • mr.wiener

            I was a baby faced chadenay sipping arty type until I came to asia. People’s expectation have turned me into a bearded ,scarred rugby playing pisshead.

          • DavidisDawei

            The best line of that movie is (IMO),
            “Now that’s a knife” and then proceeds to carve up the guy’s Eddie Murphy wannabe fluorescent leather jacket

          • Amused

            When I’m asked this kind of question I just nod sagely and lament the plight of the American militiaman who can no longer carry anything larger than a minigun due to irresponsible people getting drunk and dueling compulsively back when we were allowed to privately own and operate our own howitzers…

          • wingedgenius

            Heh, maybe down near the US/Mexico border, probably. lol

  • Anon

    God damn the Chinese are a bunch of cynical people

  • SongYii

    Shove their nose into their brain, ladies.

  • DavidisDawei

    Being alert and aware of your surroundings is most important…
    How many times do you see people head down, playing with their phone, not paying attention?

    • KamikaziPilot

      Exactly, awareness is your top defense. Kind of like driving a car. You can have all the safety equipment you want but the top deterrent to a crash is the person behind the wheel. Of course it doesn’t always work but it’s the #1 factor IMO. Is it just me or does it seem that Asians, at least from China and Japan seem to be the most oblivious to their surroundings? Ex. almost running into you and acting surprised when they see you right in front of them, leaving their carts in the middle of the aisle, getting startled easily, etc. Seems like some of them walk anywhere without a care in the world, thinking nothing bad can happen to them.

      • Anon

        Is being easily startled a Chinese Thing? The general lack of awareness, well, everyone knows that, but I thought my wife was just high-strung. Do other people have to be extra noisy walking around the house so that their Chinese SOs don’t jump out of their skin? My wife acts like she has PTSD or something, despite never having been the victim of much more than cellphone theft. It used to be kind of funny, but not so much when she actually gets mad at me for failing to somehow get her attention without scaring her when her back is turned. I mean, it’s our house, in a nice neighborhood in one of the safest communities in the United States, who the fuck else is it going to be?

        • David

          Mine is the same way. She is probably happy I have been in China almost two years lol. Don’t even get me started on my students. They are Korea and you can walk up behind one (loudly) say “Boo!” and they will jump out of their skins, boy or girl.

        • KamikaziPilot

          That sounds really familiar. My wife is the same, only she’s pretty easy going otherwise. There have been times when she knows I’m not only at home but in the same room as her and she still gets started when I stand behind her and talk. I have pretty deep, baritone voice so I think that makes it even more startling for her, haha. And I’ve seen other Chinese, especially females get startled easily too. Must be a part of Chinese culture, which encourages spacing out which in turn leads to being startled at the slightest stimulation.

  • Amused

    I’ve been using these tips for the last six years, and I have to tell you they really work! I’ve only been assaulted 4 times in the entire time I’ve used them. And I’m a very sexy man. Strangely every time it was the Jehovah’s Witnesses. And I’m ….uhh not sure what that says about them or what that says about me….

    • b duck

      really?
      i’m sexy too but never got a chance to use any tip yet?
      why?

      • mr.wiener

        Trachea [throat] and nuts, that is all you need to know.

      • Amused

        Perhaps you live in an area that only has Latter Day Saints. These particular fiends only attack when you appear overly happy or receptive to a “backpack and tie” wearing assailant. Whereas Jehovah’s Witnesses, being a more aggressive species, will generally glom onto any poor sexy bastard they run into.

  • Clive Rowland

    what happened to the ol’ knee in the nuts?

  • b duck

    you are mixed?

    • zachary T

      what? mixed?

  • David

    I have never had an apartment with one or seen one on a friends apartment. But my experience is limited to Shanghai and Wuxi (and never seen one on a hotel which has been all over China).

  • diverdude7

    snub-nose .38

  • Zen my Ass

    Well, the tips are correct and this is what you learn in a Self Defense class.

  • bluemonkey9

    Kicking an attacker doesn’t mean to stop him. The Marshal Art is more complicated and harsh. In the street fight the rule of the thumb is, only one would survive. Self defense means:
    Avoid any unnecessary conflict.
    Do not try to be a Hero. There are many in the Graveyard.
    If the attacker is armed, then is the same as you are climbing a rock without a rope. You do a mistake and die.
    You need two years to understand Spetsnaz and three more years to master it.
    The size, and physical preparation matters.
    There are thousands of sequences that you have to choose and execute by instinct. Most of them are illegal to be executed during Martial Art competition, because are very dangerous or deadly. Psychological preparation is a must.
    You have to observe the adversary, to find out if he is professional or not, right handed or left-handed. You have to choose the quadrant, and you have to understand the angle of attack before it happened.
    You cannot terminate an adversary that is alert. You have to trick his
    awareness before you act. At the end wins whoever makes fewer mistakes.

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