Excrement Tanker Explodes, Covering Everyone in Human Waste


From NetEase:

@现代快报 [Modern Express]: Excrement Truck Explodes, Passersby Tragically Covered — According to netizen @旺寶兒發, an excrement truck [a vehicle that collects human waste from septic tanks] in Guangxi province Hechi city exploded, and this is probably what the having your face sprayed with shit must be like! The poor pedestrians, going out for a stroll only to be covered in shit… Without any precaution, and without a trace of apprehension, you appeared…





Comments from NetEase:

网易北京市网友 ip:114.245.*.*

The most headstrong sprayer since the beginning of shit.

[Note: This comment involves multiple puns. 喷子 “sprayer” also means hater, flamer, a netizen who complains too much or attacks others. It is used here to echo the excrement that was sprayed in the explosion. 有屎以来 is a pun of 有史以来, the latter which means “since the beginning of time”. Taken together, the comment doesn’t really say anything but simply involves puns relevant to the story and to Chinese internet culture.]

呀哑吖呸 [网易广西南宁市网友]:

If someone with mysophobia encountered this, I bet they’d even think of just committing suicide…

mlgb163163163 [网易北京市网友]:

The scene is too beautiful, I dare not imagine.

威加海外兮 [网易加拿大网友]:

The moment Sister Feng‘s child is born, it can go to the best public school in the United States for free, without having to send gifts [bribes] or find connections, and the enrollment process only takes 1 minute. Can you people compare?

鱼坐飞船 [网易天津市网友]:

Onto your body, [shit] “freely” flies!!!

[Note: Also lyrics from a well-known song.]

鱼坐飞船 [网易天津市网友]:

Upon seeing the words “warmly celebrate” vaguely visible on the storefront signage, brother [referring to self] pissed himself laughing!!

非正常人类 [网易广东省揭阳市手机网友]:

A terrorist attack. No explanation!

网易安徽省合肥市手机网友 ip:124.73.*.*

I will do my best to stifle my laugh.

天涯路远0505 [网易北京市网友]:

A scene of beautiful but sad rain of shit.

你的淫荡 [脑洞全开]:

[Shit] freely flies…

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  • Sedona

    Shit happens …….. Sofaaaaa :)

  • Irvin

    Oh shit!

  • Smith_90125

    So the PRC government is landing on people again?

  • Edward Kay

    Saving on fireworks. Happy New Year!

  • Booom…Shitstorm

  • biggj

    The shit literally hit the fan.

    • mr.wiener

      We all thought it would happen in China one day.

    • KamikaziPilot

      Hahaha, that was a good one.

  • lonetrey / Dan

    Oh crap, hope people didn’t poop their pants when dealing with that shit-ton of fecal matter!

  • Fdom

    Sounds like a load of shit to me!

  • Probotector

    LOL! My fucking God! Only in China, I tell ya!

    • mr.wiener

      We had a whale explode on busy street in Taiwan once.

  • Rosemon Calvin Pilot

    Shit happens

  • cb4242

    Talk about shit hitting the fan…

  • guest

    That’s the funnest shit I’ve ever seen.

  • Chestnut Bowl

    Ugh. Just looking at the pictures made me want to run to the shower.

  • KamikaziPilot

    Looking at the old guy in the second picture he’s probably thinking:
    “Daammmmmmm!!! Guess there’s a first time for everything”

  • A Chinese Teacher

    Holy fuck…I never thought I’d see a shitstorm.

  • The scribbler

    The Chinese press hits bottom. And vice versa.

  • FYIADragoon

    Well I guess it was just another…shitty day in Guangxi. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • Rick in China

    This is news? I see streets that look similar to exactly what we see here all the time in China. I guess this is one of the first times someone captured it and uploaded it – because from the observations any random-street-wanderer can make, shit tankers are exploding daily all over the place up in here.

    • vincent_t

      Sounds like you are living in a shit hole, or you just hate this place so much that you paint it as a shit hole. Either case, l would move out if i were you.

      • Rick in China

        It’s a mix of both. Exit plans are in the works, it just takes a long time to sort out complex situations.

        • Teacher in China

          You too, eh? I would be happy to stay in China in a bigger city, but I have to get out of this shithole I’m living in now. Small town Dongbei is a nightmare. If a shit tanker exploded somewhere, I doubt I would even notice the difference (the sight or the smell). And I hear you about the complex situations – we don’t even have kids yet and it’s tough enough, so I can’t imagine what you’re going through (you have kids, right? relying on memory here…)

          • Rick in China

            A baby, apartments, cars, businesses, lawsuits due to one of those businesses (wife needs to sort her ish), etc. Baby isn’t the tough part. :D

            Jack Ma’s new cancer estimates are out, predicts something like 30% of China to have developed cancer within a decade based mainly on 3 uncontrollable factors (as in not able to control given many circumstances atm): air pollution, food, and water quality. Rich or poor, yer breathing the same shit as everyone else.. I don’t know whether I buy into his prediction, but I do buy into the fact that I don’t want my baby to be growing her new organs in a toxic dump.

          • Teacher in China

            Yikes, yeah that sounds like a nightmare. We’ve just got one successful business to deal with, plus the fact that we still need to come to a 100% agreement on where to move to. No car, no baby, and our property isn’t a problem. No lawsuits, either :)

            Cancer…..yes, it’s something that stops me from wanting to move to a big city or somewhere horribly polluted. Certainly no place to be raising a child, should we eventually have one. I’ve been pushing for Dalian, which has a Canadian international school for me to work in and is generally clean from what I saw when I visited there. You heading out of the country and back to Canada then?

          • Rick in China

            Thinking OZ — better software development environment there, and typically better all-year round temperatures in the main cities. Vancouver is still _on the board_, though.

            I’ve heard Dalian is nice. Even getting somewhere with slightly better air doesn’t give me much confidence in the other ingestibles: food & water.. I don’t see either improving any time soon with such a quickly growing demand & consistent degradation.

          • Teacher in China

            Never been to OZ, but New Zealand is a great place. We thought about Vancouver too. Only problem with that place is that house prices are through the roof. Although I guess if you don’t mind the suburbs and a commute, it’s probably more reasonable. Beautiful city, though.

            Good point about the ingestibles, but Dalian is a nice city, and close enough to where we live now that she could come back and see her family and friends without too much worry…

          • Rick in China

            House prices in any good city are really high… Sydney/Melbourne/Brisbane are where we’re considering for OZ, Bris being the cheapest/most boring/smallest but still, expensive.

            I’ve only been to Dalian once. For living quality, if you can get a good job there, I’d guess it’s probably one of the better choices, that’s for sure. Have you looked at places like Hangzhou/Suzhou/Qingdao? Personally I wouldn’t leave Chengdu to go to another China city simply because it would present almost the exact same problems as we’re having now, and solve very little of the concerns I have with staying…primarily need to ensure baby has good air/access to hospitals I can relatively trust/a school system that I am more in agreement with. If no baby, I’d care far less about getting out, mind you..so maybe when you do have a little munchkin you & your wife’s priority on escaping the mainland clutch will increase!

          • Teacher in China

            I expect you’re right about the little munchkin thing. If one comes along soon I think it will change everything, which is another reason why planning anything right now seems like a waste of time.

            Never been to any of those other cities you mentioned, but I’ve heard good things about them. I think Qingdao is probably pretty similar to Dalian, so I’d prefer the latter just because it’s closer to her hometown. I’ve heard good things about Hangzhou and Suzhou though, so that’s an option for sure.

            Good luck with everything in 2015!

          • Teacher in China

            Is it difficult to get the visa to live and work in OZ?

          • ONCH

            Depend on what your qualifications are, OZ has a huge lack of man power in some fields, if that’s your qualifications they will give you the working visa immediately without asking any question, maybe even the citizenship. Otherwise you can forget it.

            The only downside with OZ today is the increasing number of immigrants from Mainland China and their obnoxious behavior/culture, some areas that were once great now look like dump sites since those people don’t seem to care about their surroundings. Rich Chinese kids thinking they are above the law in OZ just like in China, they are not and fall from sky high when they realize so.

            OZ should favor immigrants from the rest of Asia instead of Mainland Chinese.

          • Rick in China

            I had a tumultuous last week.. I’m actually in Canada now, but I will clarify upon “ONCH”‘s post:

            If you want to move/work/live in OZ, it’s not so hard for some industries and very difficult for others. It really depends upon what you do for a living. One of my extremely old and very favourite friends in the world works the the OZ Immigration department, and she has previously elaborated on some dependencies. If your qualifications put you in a field that they need, the demands are far less. If not: very difficult. In my case neither matters as I can grab my nasty 457 visa to work for anyone who wants a smashing pro, but for someone without any connections or offers on-continent I don’t see that….if you’re not in a particular industry, there’d not be any reasonable way to get visa and/or citizenship without some serious effort…

          • 42

            yeah sure, blame it on the baby and wife and the business, something tells me with your mentality your life is going to be shit anyway wherever you will go, doesnt matter if its in China or anywhere else, get your shits straight before blaming it on China or anythng else!

          • Rick in China

            I appreciate trolling..it’s something I would have excelled at in youth – before I had any knowledge or understanding of life in the utmost. Thanks for bringing me back to my roots, son. That being said, for other readers of the Chinasmackosphere, I’ll set that lil’ nutcrack straight: my baby is to blame. My wife is also to blame. Her business prevented our moving as a family to a much better place – because of legal issues. Addendum: because of shit out of her control we can’t take our baby, which we’d immediately likely to as a couple do, out of the country to another place to live..because my wife can’t leave the country –yet–. When the lawsuits are done the rest of the businesses’ interests’ and personal interests don’t really matter as much, but there is a government induced restriction preventing us from leaving, understand CUNT? Sorry, if you can’t, because some people have such small lives of so little importance that whatever they do doesn’t particularly matter in any way whatsoever in the world, but in my world it’s not the case. I’d expect you’ll present some kind of sarcastic (albeit unknowingly because you’re obviously not very intelligent) response hoping for more on this thread………but, here it is. There is little left for you, “42”, I expect you’ll try to change names several times and be expounded as the same person several times through your explicit ramblings from a particular perspective (ie. 免费五毛), but that doesn’t really matter either.

        • 42

          you two should go get a room, this isn’t a chat site! hook up and drink a beer in a bar or something, wash away the sorrows with some alcohol while eating peanuts and spare us the details.

        • Apothis

          Especially when intelligence is limited.

        • fury

          u tell lies. I never experienced that king of stuff. (Local Chinese.)

  • Jahar

    Any chance they can sue? Those shops are definitely gonna lost money from this.

  • Ryo Saeba

    Does this guy not realize he’s got shit all over his face?

    • biggj

      Oh he knows……..That guy don’t give a shit. This song in this guys head over and over again.

      • Dr Sun

        you realise that Karate comes from Okinawa, ie Japanese, it has nothing at all to do with china ???
        or are you going to say next that tacos originated from the state of Maine USA ?

        • biggj

          Calm down man, this video had the lyrics on it. Did u even listen to song? “Your the best around, nothings going to even keep you down” . The song was from katate kid. That’s all. Nothing to do with China vs Japan…don’t worry.

        • 42

          actually Karate was formed and influenced by chinese martial arts when chinese cultural exchange happen during the ming dynasty with the ryukyu empire on okinawa

        • yangreen

          While you’re not wrong, it originally came from China, and was called 唐手道 (唐 as in “Chinese”)

          • DatMan

            Right, everything in this goddam world originated in China.

          • Alex Dương

            Of course not, but it is a fact that “karate” was originally 唐 (“kara-“) 手 (“-te”), not 空 (“kara-“) 手 (-“te”).

    • Rick in China

      I doubt it’s his first rodeo.

  • Dr Sun

    fake story, the truck is clean and intact. Come on mods/china smack check the pics and sources before you post this kind of crap(pun intended)

    • KamikaziPilot

      Looks like the pic was taken before the explosion, notice the clean buildings also. But then again why would anyone take a pic before the explosion.

      • Dr Sun

        notice the restaurants have different names in the before and after pics

        • KamikaziPilot

          I noticed that too. All the shit covered pics are of the same stores but the clean one appears to be different stores. Unless maybe the shit covered ones are just to the right or left out of frame from the clean picture.

        • Rick in China

          Trucks move. Of course the restaurants have different names, Detective Sun, trucks aren’t stationary objects. What is the same, however, is the type of railing along the sidewalk – the style of building/shop – the type of tree and approximate distance that it appears to be inbetween the sidewalks and shops, etc. Things that would be persistent between blocks. Since it’s obvious that the photos are not taken at the exact time of the explosion – this would make sense, no?

          • Dr Sun

            oh, for christs sake get real ” the railings are the same” kind of railings found on many chinese streets, but nothing else is the same in any of the pics.
            So your argument is that the truck moved, however as it did so it exploded at the very same moment the restaurants were all getting repainted and new signs were hung,and the shit hit them ? and where are the pics before and after of the same restaurants with the same exploded truck ?
            Even someone as naive as you can clearly see the change in the restaurants names , looks and these pics were not taken on the same street…. I hope

    • The picture of the “clean and intact” truck is just to show what one of those trucks looks like. It isn’t necessarily the one that DID explode. Also, for those commenting on the name of the stores, those aren’t even the same stores as in the “dirty” pictures.

  • roywhauer

    Could not smell.any worse than the entire country of Viet Nam did back in the 60 and 70s

  • icup ✔️

    did the truck vanish into thin air after the explosion?

  • YourSupremeCommander

    HOLY S H I T !

  • Nobody needs you here either

    I’m thinking your ass also lies deep within a similar asshole. So deep in the chocolate goo that you failed to hear your mother when she wisely proclaimed the sage advice about saying nothing when you’ve nothing nice to say. I agree with your innovative yet strangely specific moniker. Nobody needs (nor wants) you here :) To summarize: stfu.

  • Pete of Perth

    Japanese porn goes the next level.

  • still better than the air in beijing

  • jaded

    first literal shitstorm Ive seen on here

  • johnb33

    Talk about a shit storm!

  • jianfei

    shit lips! =)

  • jianfei

    where I live, shit is transported via sewage tunnels below the surface, not above ground in exploding shit trucks. :P

  • Jenny

    Should “Artists” have known it will explode, they’d have put several canvases up, and call the excrement splashes “art” and then sell them.

  • Bruno Aquino

    Someone decided that those facades needed a visual upgrade.

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