2010 Chinese Internet Memes & Slang Basic Competency Test

Dan teng, "ballache"

chinaSMACK readers should be familiar enough with Chinese internet culture, phenomena, and news to correctly answer most of the questions in the following test, and receive a passing score, especially with the helpful links provided. :)

From Mop:

Popular internet terms and expressions basic competency test, to prove that you didn’t waste 2010, test your speed

Internet popular terms and expressions basic competency test, test your speed! How many points did you earn???

I. Multiple Choice – Single Answer (every question 2 points, total 40 points)

1. What pencil do you normally use for tests?

B. 2B

2. What famous work did “给力” [“gei li“] originate from?

A. “Doesn’t gei li, teacher”
B. “This person is not the enemy”
C. “Journey to the West: The End of the Journey”

3. Which of the following has nothing to do with “闹太套” [“nao tai tao“]?

A. 避孕套 [bi yun tao], condom
B. Huang Xiaoming
C. “not at all”

4. “An extremely difficult decision” was made by which of the following companies?

A. 360
B. Penguin
C. Tencent QQ

5. What does “Shanmu Rape Gate” mean?

A. Shanmu raped a door/gate
B. The incident where Shanmu raped a female employee
C. None of the above

6. What does “坑爹” [keng die] mean?

A. Xiao Keng’s pops/dad
B. His pops/dad is surnamed Keng
C. Liar/cheat, not very “gei li

7. You’re driving and just hit someone. What do you only have to say for everything to be okay?

A. My dad is Li Gang
B. My daughter is Peng Shuai
C. Sorry

8. What is China’s most mystical department?

A. 有关部门 [you guan bu men, relevant department]
B. 无关部门 [wu guan bu men, irrelevant department]
C. 艳照门 [yan zhao men, Sexy Photos Gate]

9. Which of the following people below most need housing subsidies?

A. 马化腾, Ma Huateng [founder of Tencent]
B. 方舟子, Fang Zhouzi [“fraud cop”, anti-fraud “crusader”]
C. 唐骏, Tang Jun [former Microsoft China President]

10. Which of the following requests are always difficult to meet?

A. Sex
B. Pay raise
C. Fairness

11. What is “3Q大战” [3Q da zhan]?

A. Three Ah-Qs playing **
B. The incident where Tencent forced 400 million netizens to uninstall 360
C. When the King of Gamblers and the God of Gamblers were going heads up, their bottom cards were respectively a 3 of hearts and a Q of spades;

12. There once was a girl named Xiao Wen, and later when she had a boyfriend, what did she change her name to?

A. 凤姐, Sister Feng
B. 小月月, Xiao Yue Yue
C. 小六, Xiao Liu

13. Select the one thing you think is not poisonous.

A. 三鹿奶粉, Sanlu milk powder
B. 一滴香 [yi di xiang], “One Drop of Fragrance”, a food additive
C. 老鼠药, rat poison

14. National regulations require that MY [卖淫, mai yin, selling sex] girls be addressed as what?

A. 小姐 [xiao jie]
B. 果儿 [guo er]
C. 失足妇女 [shi zu fu nv]

15. Which of the following things is related to chicken?

A. 蛋疼 [dan teng]
B. 蛋腚 [dan ding]
C. 蛋汤 [dan tang]

16. If Henan Satellite Television is called “Mango channel”, then what is Jiangsu Satellite Television called?

A. Garlic channel
B. Pear channel
C. Tomato channel

17. How do you express “bu gei li” in English?

A. bugeili
B. ungeili
C. ungelivable

18. If we want to express a calm outlook on life, where money, power, and women are dirt [unimportant], we normally will say what?

A. 你知道的太多了 [ni zhi dao de tai duo le], you know too much
B. 神马都是浮云 [shen ma dou shi fu yun], everything is passing clouds
C. XX神马的最讨厌了[XX shen ma de zui tao yan le]

19. On Mop, how do you like to call the LZ?

A. 你妹 [ni mei], your sister
B. 亲 [qin], dear
C. 大叔 [da shu], uncle

20. If you are “兰州” [Lanzhou], what do you hate people replying?

A. 兰州烧饼 [lanzhou shaobing]
B. 沙发 [sha fa]
C. 围观 [wei guan]

II. Multiple Choice – Multiple Answers (every question 5 points, total 30 points)

1. Which mystical beasts live in “马勒隔壁” [ma lei ge bi]?

A. 草泥马 [cao ni ma]
B. 河蟹 [he xie]
C. 布鸣真象 [bu ming zhen xiang]

2. Which of the following things can be eaten?

A. 蒜你狠 [suan ni hen]
B. 豆你玩 [dou ni wan]
C. 姜你军 [jiang ni jun]
D. 兰州烧饼 [lan zhou shao bing]

3. How do we usually describe someone as being very unlucky/suffering great misfortune?

A. 苦逼 [ku bi]
B. 悲催 [bei cui]
C. 杯具 [bei ju]
D. 沙发 [sha fa]

4. When you have overcome great difficulties to become a world champion, who should you first thank?

B. All TV

C. Parents

D. Country

5. Which of the following people need to install 360 密盘 [mi pan, “hard disk protector/security”]

A. Pornography collector/downloader
B. Diary-gate Bureau Chief
C. Yan Fengjiao
D. Celebrities

6. Which of the following oils can be used to cook with?

A. 中石油 [zhong shi you]
B. 中石化 [zhong shi hua]
C. 中海油 [zhong hai you]
D. 中地沟油 [zhong di gou you]

III. Short Answer (10 points)

1. Three people, a geographer, a long-distance runner, and a statistics department expert, are lost in a vast desert. Which one has the highest probability of surviving? Why?

2. A tomato and a banana make a movie, which one will become famous? Why?

IV. Essay Question (20 points)

Use “凡客体” [fan ke ti] or “羊羔体” [yang gao ti] to write an essay, on any theme, standard format, each line/sentence/phrase must be written on separate lines (this is the key) [like a poem], those written continuously [like an essay/paragraph] automatically receive zero points.

Open-ended question, no [quality] standard! You understand what that means, if you seek a standard or whatever, then you are automatically [disqualified/failed]~

A Chinese egg drop school project with "dan teng" written on it.

How did you do?


Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.


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