Norway’s Halden Prison, Chinese Netizen Reactions

Norway prison Ila landsfengsel.

The following Chinese article about Norway’s “luxurious” Halden Prison appears to have been translated from an English article on Foreign Policy. There are simplified and complex character versions, with some versions having additional photos from different sources mixed in.

Instead of translating the Chinese back into English, I have used the original English article’s text whenever possible. However, when comparing the translated Chinese to the original English, there are some differences. Some are omissions while others are mistranslations. Some of the more substantial text omitted from the Chinese translation are shown in light grey color. Some of the more major mistranslations are noted in the Chinese pop-up boxes within square brackets. Lastly, I have presented the text according to the paragraphs used in the Chinese version.

From VOC (1 & 2):

Hell becomes Heaven — Norway’s Super Luxurious Prison Life

An inmate is watching television while sitting on his bed inside one of the private prison cells built with en-suite bathroom and various other amenities in the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

Norway’s unrepentant mass killer, Anders Behring Breivik, is now under arrest. And he should count himself lucky for — if entirely undeserving of — a penal system in that country that is among the cushiest in the world.

There’s no capital punishment, and the longest jail term allowed is 21 years (a caveat: if a prisoner is deemed to still be a threat, his sentence can be extended in five-year blocks indefinitely, though it’s highly unlikely, according to Norwegian officials).

In Norway, rehabilitation is the guiding principle, not punishment — a somewhat difficult notion to swallow given the gravity and callousness of his crimes.

“Both society and the individual simply have to put aside their desire for revenge, and stop focusing on prisons as places of punishment and pain,” one Norwegian prison official told the Daily Mail. “Depriving a person of their freedom for a period of time is sufficient punishment in itself without any need whatsoever for harsh prison conditions.”

Norway’s newest jail may hold rapists and murderers, but Halden Prison — the country’s second largest and most secure facility — looks more like a posh sleepaway camp. In fact, architects say they purposely tried to avoid an “institutional feel.” When it opened in 2010, some news accounts called it the “most humane” prison in the world.

Indeed, one of the many perks at Halden is flat-screen televisions in inmates’ rooms. There’s no HBO, though, so reruns of Oz and The Wire are contraband. Still, prisoners get private cells with mini-fridges and large windows to let in more sunlight. Here, then, is a quick tour of what luxuries may await Breivik behind bars. (That’s a figure of speech, of course: There are no iron bars at Halden.)

A woman trainer (right) is running alongside an inmate in the yard of the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) during the time prisoners regularly spend carrying out physical exercise and learning about the human body in Halden, near Oslo.

Prisoners spend a lot of time out of their cells; exercise is encouraged. And in Halden, not only is there clean air but personal trainers. Here, a comely woman coach jogs alongside an inmate in the prison yard.

According to Time magazine, the prison is spread over 75 acres “of gently sloping forest.… To avoid an institutional feel, exteriors are not concrete but made of bricks, galvanized steel and larch; the buildings seem to have grown organically from the woodlands.”

Inmates are practicing instruments in the professional recording studio where they regularly play as a band, built inside the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison? Please. At Halden, the inmates can form their own band. And what’s more, they can lay down an album in the prison’s professional recording studio.

An inmate is organising his desk in the prison library, where he regularly works as an assistant inside the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo. The library is only containing books but also magazines, CDs and DVDs to be used by the inmates.

The well-stocked library at Halden contains not only books but magazines, CDs, and DVDs. What? No Crime and Punishment audiobook?

Two inmates are watching a television program in one of the common kitchen and living room areas established to be a meeting point between inmates and guards and to facilitate rehabilitation inside the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

Inmates share common kitchens and living rooms. Some common areas are designated as places where both inmates and guards can meet and mingle — or, you know, just hang out.

Inmates are taking part to a climbing session during the time they regularly spend carrying out physical exercise and learning about the human body inside the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

The prison boasts a state-of-the-art gym, complete with a rock-climbing wall. No word yet on whether there’s a class on tunneling.

Guards (left and right) are regularly spending time with inmates in various open areas where games like soccer, volleyball and basketball are organised in mixed teams of inmates, guards and other prison staff in the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

Guards don’t carry guns and are encouraged to be outgoing and friendly toward the inmates —

they eat together and play sports in mixed teams to create a sense of family, according to officials. The Longest Yard this ain’t.

The prison dentist is portrayed in front of her working chair while waiting for a patient inside the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

No gold teeth among Halden’s inmates. Not with free dental checkups.

An inmate is brushing his teeth in the bathroom inside one of the single-person prison cells build with various amenities in the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

An inmate in his private bathroom — one of many amenities that make Halden feel more like a college dorm than a prison.

Inmates (facing camera) and their instructor are clapping hands and singing during the time they regularly spend learning and practicing music arts inside the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

Nothing says rehabilitation like rhythm. Here, prisoners and their instructor get down during a music class.

Inmates are trying to use a one-wheeled bicycle inside the prison gym during the time they regularly spend carrying out physical exercise and learning about the human body at the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

An inmate learns to ride a unicycle in the prison gym. Seriously.

A young convict is smoking a cigarette next to one of the graffiti commissioned to Dolk, a renowned Barsky-type Norwegian artist, in the luxurious Halden Fengsel, (prison) near Oslo.

Dolk, a Norwegian Banksy-style graffiti artist, was commissioned to create art for the prison — at a price tag of $1 million.

Comments from VOC:




If prison is too comfortable, then everyone will want to go there, and society’s law will become even more ineffective.


If the Heavenly Kingdom’s prisons were this comfortable, the crime rate would definitely go up.


What kind of world is this… Other country’s convicts are living easier lives than I am!!!


No wonder Norway is judged as the world’s happiest nation.


How is that like a prison sentence? It’s clearly a vacation!


Whether you believe is up to you, either way I believe it.


Let’s all go to Norway and commit crimes~~~


If it were like this in China, the crime rate would rapidly rise, and maybe one day I will go try too. However in European countries with high welfare, the situation would again be different.


[It’s] because the life outside of prison in Norway is even more comfortable.


There’s no hide-and-seek game in that prison, [which means its] slightly worse compared to China. [“Hide and seek” became an internet meme in 2009.]


This is respect for human rights~~ Only when the state respects the ordinary common people will the ordinary common people respect the state~~


Because everyone in Norway lives very comfortably, so for them, losing freedom is already the worst punishment.
If one day Norway were to no longer be so prosperous, then their prisoners won’t be so comfortable either.


Clearly proves that there are no corrupt officials there!


If I go to Norway and commit a crime, does it mean I can serve my sentence in Norway’s prisons?


Fuck, this is a prison?! The whole thing is a luxury hotel! [The situation] within our country and abroad is completely different!

The following photo feature on NetEase also uses information about Halden Prison from the Foreign Policy article, a New York Post article, and Wikipedia.

From NetEase:

Norway’s bombing and shooting case killer may enter the world’s most luxurious prison.

A Norway prison.

Local time July 27th report, the Norway bomb attack and shooting spree killer [Anders Behring] Breivik in all probability will spend the next 8 week in the Ila Landsfengsel [prison] on the outskirts of Oslo.

Norway prison Ila landsfengsel.

According to Norway’s penal system, Brevik can receive 21 years in prison at most, though if at the end of his punishment he is still considered a danger to society, his sentence can be extended in 5 year increments. However, according to Norway administrative officials, such a situation where the sentence is extended is very unlikely to occur.

Norway prison Ila landsfengsel.

Halden Prison is the most modern and most humane prison in all of Europe. The first inmates entered on 2010 March 1, and was officially opened use on 2010 April 8th by King Harald V personally. The prison can accommodate 252 people.

Chapel in Norway's Handlen Prison.

Halden Prison is Norway’s second largest and most secure prison but looks more like a post sleepaway camp. In fact, architects say they purposely tried to avoid an “institutional feel.”

Art in Norway's Halden Prison.

Norway prison Ila landsfengsel.

Comments from NetEase:

嘘你 [网易新加坡网友]:

Capitalism truly has TMD gone downhill!

网易浙江省台州市网友 [xiaminchao1]:

After 30 years of being lost, I have finally found a goal in life: Illegally immigrate to Norway and blow up several buildings.

网易广东省东莞市网友 [落花人独立兮]:

Everyone let’s go there together, meet in Oslo, I’ll take down names…

网易山东省青岛市网友 [maxtop9999]:

Looks like there should be a new internet meme: Go commit crime in Norway!

1806187859 [网易河北省沧州市网友]:

Those who can’t afford a house, hurry and go commit a crime in Norway! High-end housing is limited, first come first serve, food included…


Unbelievable, a prison being so much better than so many homes in our country, here where we struggle an entire lifetime just for a home, the difference truly is too huge!!

9869162472 [网易山东省济南市网友]:

I must make a wish when it is my birthday, to go to Norway. And a long-term residence permit. Live there and never leave…


We have our strengths, let’s not compete with them on this, and instead compete the speed of our high-speed rail. Do they dare compete?


Being kind to the killer is being cruel to the kind innocent people! Norway’s type of so-called “being civilized” is just trampling on the respect for the lives of the kind and innocent!

网易辽宁省网友 [经藏法师]:

Norway’s per capita income is in the top three of the world. All of its people enjoy “from the cradle to the grave” super welfare. Average life expectancy is 81 years.

What do you think? Of Halden Prison? If you have been in prison before, what was your experience?

More Photos of Norway’s Halden Prison:

Norwegians. Personals @ chinaSMACK.

Help us maintain a vibrant and dynamic discussion section that is accessible and enjoyable to the majority of our readers. Please review our Comment Policy »

    It’s interesting how Chinese people would prefer being sentenced to jail time. Says a lot about their living circumstances. Please let them stay in their country.

    • Leo

      That’s one sexy Ikea sofa you got thar.

    • Captain China

      You wouldn’t want to crash in that jail? Jesus, I would love to. Giving up freedom, but also giving up responsibility? That’s more that a fair trade for me.

      • Marsvin

        Well it’s easy enough, just commit a murder in Norway. You got your wish.

        Funny how people always say these prisoners have the good life but they’re not willing to put in the effort to get it for themselves ;)

        • firebert

          “Well it’s easy enough, just commit a murder in Norway. You got your wish.”

          Just make sure you commit more than one. Remember, Anders killed more than 80 people and only got, like, 21 years. That’s about 3 months a person. So make sure you calculate accordingly!

          • Your Mother

            So dark, but that comment slayed me.

    • ander

      I tend to forget how desperate Chinese are, until I read such comments.

      One voice of reason stuck out:


      This is respect for human rights~~ Only when the state respects the ordinary common people will the ordinary common people respect the state~~

      • Richard

        If the have respected the state, what are they doing in prison?

    • anon

      Very Brevik of you to want the Chinese to stay in their country.

      • Mansu Musa

        Interesting enough, this kind of news is also found on muslim websites and they have similar response to the chinese.

        So not only did Brevik kill a bunch of white-norwegians, he also promoted people from poor islamic countries to move to norway.

      • 7DRAGNX

        Well, you have to see it in the context of my post. Those preferring jail time in Norway, would you want them in your country?

        • anon

          I think you’re mistaking people marveling at how nice a Norway prison is with people who are serious about committing crime.

          Remember, the original article and photo was first circulated in English, and there were plenty of Westerners, Americans and Europeans who had similar sentiments as the Chinese here. They’re all just expressing how unbelievable it is to them that this prison is so much nicer than what they have, not only the prisons in their countries but their own living circumstances. They don’t actually prefer going to prison, it’s just a way of expressing their envy, much like how many would envy a drug lord’s opulent lifestyle but wouldn’t really want to live the life of a criminal.

          Do you find all the Westerners saying they want to go to jail in Norway interesting? Do their comments say a lot about their living circumstances? Do you beg for them to stay in their country as a result? Surely you know it isn’t just Chinese people who are joking about how nice it’d be to go to jail in Norway, right?

        • Sunshine

          Is it just me or is there a general lack of sense of humour here.

        • Barack Obama

          I think there is a general lack of brain here.

    • Chad

      A lot of Canadians I know have made the same comment actually. It’s just in jest of course because that is one damn fine “jail”.

      • donscarletti

        And in Australia too, after all, correctional services is Australia’s oldest industry.

        In the end though, even though the prison service has a 2.5 star catering contract with Eurest while most university residential colleges have a 2 star contract, prisons are still full of the kind of arseholes that get prison sentences. A just state cannot have a nice prison because a just state would not imprison the kind of people you would like to spend time with; and oppressive states tend to brutalise their prisoners.

        The last organisation to come close to running a decent prison that was not full of arseholes was the Luftwaffe.

    • JM

      That prison is just as nice as my house and I live in the US!

  • The best way to conceptualize this is: if this is being incarcerated in prison in Norway, can you imagine how good it must be to live outside of prison in that society?

    I think the worst punishment for these guys is to deprive them of being in that awesome society; they’ll become so sorry for their crime that they become good people in jail awaiting to finally be set free.

    This isn’t punishment; it’s rehabilitation. If ya wanna punish people and don’t try to help them, then these criminals will keep hating themselves, do drugs and rape and kill each other, and by the time (if) they finish their sentence they’re going to released back into society with more criminal skills and motivations as well as twice the hatred they had when going in.

    Some criminals you do lock up and throw away the key, but others you don’t. They weren’t your problem when they were in jail, but they will be your problem again when they come back out.

    Needless to say, Tim McManus was one of my favorite characters on Oz; him and Adibisi, Said and the ill-tempered couple, Beecher and Schillinger. Ah… I can hear it still: “Lockdown!”

    • 山炮 ShanPao

      First two paragraphs – wank

      Third paragraph – excellent, you got it!

      Final paragraphs – wank

      • Clearly my friend, you don’t expect to cram an hour’s worth of love in ten minutes? Well, “cram” might not be the right word for what you’re poking with…

    • Tengu

      In the US, the best training ground fro criminals is jail/prison.

      Just because you were convicted of something does not necessarily mean you are beyond hope or should be branded by society as a “criminal”. Sometimes people screw up…who hasn’t?

      In the US we simply warehouse them; some of the largest and most powerful gangs are still being run from prisons, MS-13, Aryan Brotherhood, La Eme. What chance of rehabilitation is there if they live the same criminal life inside as they do outside.

      We have guys who had an ounce of pot in jail in general population with guys who committed multiple murders…who’s getting boned in the ass the first night, who’s coming out of there worse than when they went in?

      At least these guys in Norway have a chance at life, just because they screw up doesn’t mean it has to ruin their odds of living a decent life in the future.

      Inmates like Breivik on the other hand, tie him up with those funky knots you guys love, tuck a sign under his chin, bring him to a field and pop one into his brain pan.

      I’m not for the death penalty, but when you dress like a cop, lure kids out by telling them “You’ll be safe!” and then execute them, I really don’t care about your prognosis. You need to thin the herd sometimes.

      • Lang Lang

        Yeah…that’s the thing Tengu. As “luxurious”(if people want to call it that) as this prison is…it is still inhabited by some Satan’s toejam of humans. And some regular folks that just fucked up and made some bad decisions. And even with HDTV it is still a prison and restriction of movement is the real punishment. Personally, I’d rather sleep in a dumpster as a free man than in a cozy room as a prisoner.
        I used to live in the shadow of Kumla Prison, which was at the time the biggest prison in Sweden. It was not like living next to Shawshank. I never had to worry about my family taken hostage by escaped prisoners or any “Prison Break” scenarios. It has all perks of this Norwegian prison, nobody is trying hard to break out. Still, I would bet that Breivik is never going to be in the general population and have much chance to enjoy the “luxuries” pictured here. One thing I’ll say about Sweden, just as people described here, it is one country that the government’s purpose is to better the quality of life for it’s citizens. It is noticable almost immediately.
        The timing of this post is a bit odd, considering the last topic, me thinks.

    • mankouzanghua

      oh these is marlboros, i don’t smoke these

      • God does not need you to defend him from a moron.

  • Jones

    Sure it looks nice and all. From the pictures, I’d stay there myself and enjoy it…for a while. But 21 years? That’d get a bit old and miserable after a while.

    • Chef Rocco

      The good news is that you may get unsupervised weekend parole in seven years, if you were lucky, you wouldn’t have to jerk yourself off too long.

      • Jones

        Really? Because having to jerk off for 21 years was pretty much all that concerned me. This isn’t sarcasm.

        • damn… that is one slow climax. But just think, once you get out of jail you’ll be ambidextrous by then.

          • Jones

            The nap afterwards is going to be amazing.

          • Tengu

            @T & J , I missed this interplay the first time I read it.

            Well played sirs, well played.

          • @军斯: “The nap afterwards is going to be amazing.”

            That’s an odd way to describe the afterlife, but ….okay. It is.

        • Tengu

          Did you see the ‘comely woman coach”, I’m not entirely sure but I think those sly Norwegians have that covered as well.

          • “Did I see her”? I‘ve already memorized all the symptoms of a fake ham-string injury she’ll help me rehabilate from.

            “Ow.. it does hurt when you do that… those are your teeth.”

  • Hongjian

    90% of all Chinese people are still too uncivilized and full of shit to deserve such a luxurious prison.
    Most probably the average Zhou would ask his third cousin if he could bribe that one prison official he knows, so that his son is declared national minority and could walk directly into that prison after college since he wont get a real job anyway.

    Most probably there will be entire branches of trade led by corrupt official and mafia and their respective guanxi for enabling people to access these prisons after a defty sum of money or by selling off one’s daughter to be the 4th wife of someone who’s losely related to said mobster or official etc. And the govt. will make money out of this whole ‘black’ branch of trade, so that noone will do anything about it.

    Those fucking netizens spouting their humanist crap like that “tangcanhua”-guy should be lined up and shot for being a mouthbreathing liberal hippie-scum, totally disregarding the shitty state of the chinese society, the developing-country styled economic situation and precarious societal moral that would just exploit, take advantage of and corrupt everything’s that’s remotely considerable as “nicety” offered by either state or party towards the garbage that is the mainstream of the modern chinese people.

    Without a giant brainwashing campaign not unlike the cultural revolution in China, and probably some related drugs put into the national drinking-water system, that makes the Chinese population into pavlow-dogs (ie. less shitty and incoherent in their thinking and acting), Chinese people deserve not a single nice thing given to them by any authoritarian and/or communist overlords.
    Like a bunch of stupid and undisciplined brats do not deverse anything but beatings by their strict parents, 90% of Chinese population only deserve the dictatorship they got.

    • Hongjian

      Ah, and before I forget; Americants and Norwegians should still be lined up and shot, along with our domestic liberal hippie-scumbag netizens.

      • gungun

        Jaja.. Du har ikke mye å komme med, du kan jo ikke stave engang? Dust!

        • Hongjian

          Geh wech. Möchtegern Wikinger-Schwein.

          • gungun

            Haha, Im Norwegian you twat.. And you still cant spell right..

        • me.

          Jobbiga ungjävlar

        • Thomas

          Cool. NordicSMACK here we come.

          • Hongjian

            Norway is a boring useless POS country when I was there. Nothing to smack about, save the blond and blue eyed Beywicks shitting up the place.

    • Yurp

       >you are this mad

    • Alikese

      Ah, Hongjian you sound mad, did your girlfriend forget to use a dental dam? Trouble on the LPGA tour?

      I’m sure you two girls will work it out

      • Carl Hungus

        I’ve been to Norway: it’s OK.

        Girlfriend? You think that tosser has a girlfriend?

        • Alikese

          Hongjian is a girl. She also has a very in-depth knowledge of Japanese pornography and porn stars.

          If she’s not into the LPGA she’s probably a big fan of Ellen Degeneres.

          • Carl Hungus

            How do you know? I mean, really?

          • Tengu

            She’s a big Bukkake fan, sponsored by Callaway and has dinner with Portia and Ellen (fap, fap, fap) once a month!

          • Hongjian

            Jap AV is shit and I will never watch it again. Sorry for ranting back then, but seriously. Die in a fire. Pretty please.

          • Jones

            Hongjian, I am so happy to see you’ve been making progress in kindness. Saying “please” is an excellent step, and you will soon find out that it goes a long way in achieving the favors that you are asking for! I always knew you had it in you!

          • Tengu

            Hongjian, I must say I’m very flattered at your tempered response as well as it’s near lady-like tone.

            The “Die in a fire.”, while not my favorite choice of demise (all that screaming and fat burning(I should work out more)), sounds absolutely inviting since you added “Pretty please.”

            I have to admit since you were so sweet, I’m a nut hair away from self-immolation.

            I think I can flip her, Look at how sweet she’s being…she’s close, I’m telling you she’s close.

            It’s the sweetest thing we’ve ever heard from her!

            Step aside boys, she’s mine…I’m on a roll!

  • Interested

    What a train wreck that norway prison is! Justice my ass.

    • Chef Rocco

      Interested, justice in Norway is “just ice” that some idiotic people believe would be melt by warmth of their bleeding hearts. Did you read these “no punishment, only rehabilitation” horseshit above?

      In a notorious case in Norway, two six years old boys punched, kicked and beat their playmate five-year-old girl to death in 1994, they were back to school within two weeks and their identities would never be revealed. What is more, the two killers were given extensive counseling and therapy to help them to get over what happened. Justice is just a joke there..

      • gungun

        Hate breeds hate, and kids aged 5 cant be punished as adults even though they have commited an adult crime. (Even though they did it in England.) I am Norwegian, and I can agree with you that justice can seem to be a joke in my country. Sometimes people are let off way to easily! However, I feel that even though it seems naive/too nice, it has a better effect on people than letting them rot inside without any preparing for the life outside when they are set free. They are still depraved of their freedom. About the killing of the girl, her mom forgave the 2 boys, they had to live with what they did, and nothing could change what had happened. Even in freedom thats a life long burden. We are such a small country with less than 5 million inhabitants, and we are brought up to show respect. Im pretty sure most countries tries to do the same. I am glad to have been raised to show politeness and respect, and I try to do so, where ever I go. Norway is not a perfect place, we have our shit as well! But there is no excuse for anybody to be inpolite or rude,
        whether your rich or poor, educated or not.
        It just takes a little self effort to be nice(r) to those around you. Fred :)

        • me.

          Man måste kunna ha specialla strafflagar för specialla situationer.
          Det är ju ett skämt hur vi har det.

        • Chef Rocco

          Not only Hate breeds hate, injustice also breeds hate. Without justice, victims of crime would never have closure, perpetrators of crime would never stop. This is just the human nature.

          I am in favor of UK treatment of James Bulger case, at least the two boys got what they deserved. What choice did Selje’s mother have except forgiving the two boys? She did say that she had a urge to kill the boy when he said he jumped on the girl thought she was sleeping.

          • JusticeyCow

            Norway has about a 20 percent re-incarceration rate.

            America has 55-60 percent.

            Apparently what Norway needs is more prison gangs, murders, torture, drugs, and rape in their prisons.

            You’re an idiot. Go away.

          • Just John


            While I would agree that the US goes overboard, throwing someone selling pot in the same cell with someone convicted of murder is a gross injustice, at the same time there is a line where “rehabilitation” just becomes a gross joke. There is a point where justice needs to truly take a hardline stance.

            Or do you truly think justice to those families who lost a loved to to Anders is best served with this kind of “justice”?

          • quantum flux

            Easy one for me… Were I the father of that girl, Id have killed those two kids. Why not? I’d be entitled to the exact same “rehabilitation”, no? Hey. It was a psychotic break. If two budding psychopaths who mercilessly beat a little girl to death (and make no mistake, they won’t “live with this”, they’ll grow up to be the muscle bound scumbags in the prison photos above) can go right back to school, then a bereaved father “vengeance killer” should probably get no more than 5 or 6 years in that paradise above.

  • [email protected]

    What will probably shock Chinese netizens most is seeing tax-payers money being used for actual civil usage rather than the usual wallet-stuffing of government officials.
    Hey Chinese, this is what a progessive government does with the country’s money – spend it on making the country more advanced.
    Say what you want about how lovely this prison appears, but fuck, I mean go to a hospital in China and wonder why the facilities look 15 years old, while the officials are driving latest model Audis and Bentleys.
    Your government spends your money on themselves.
    They don’t give a SHIT about improving your country.

    This country has clearly tried to do such things, and this prison is but one example. I am guessing the public transport, other facilities and the infrastructure is leaps ahead of China’s. Because the country’s money is being spent on the country, instead of the fat fuckers who want to live rich and die obese.

    • Hongjian

      Chinese netizens will probably rage about official corruption and the shitty spending on prestige shit etc. But in no moment would they actually do anything else if they were the one’s sitting in the same posts as these goverement officials.

      You have potential criminals raging about official criminals. Very nice.

      And you are a retard for not seeing that the problem with China hardly lies with it’s leadership, but its entirety of the fucked-up culture of its people, unchanged in all its shittiness since 200 B.C.
      Ah, but you are just another of these liberal hippie-scum that are just appalled about anything sitting afar in their comfortable rich countries.
      inb4 you call yourself “conservative” – dont make me laught. nowadays conservatism is just communism/socialism/liberal universalism adapted for mouthbreathing rednecks.

      • [email protected]

        when did I call myself conservative? never
        I live afar? nope. I’m in China.

        Who is a retard now

        • Just John


          You are.

          Know why?

          Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics, even if you win, your still retarded. Especially when your arguing with Hongjian, a retard with good grammar and a big dictionary.

          No worries though, all us chinaSMACKers seem to suffer from internet retardation.

    • lololol

      You seem angrier with the actual chinese people, than with the government, who are doing the whole bribery thing. Calm down.

      • [email protected]

        Well that wasn’t my original intention. though I can see what you mean. Fair enough?

    • fag

      haha yeah faggot, i want my 20% tax out of my every day paye to go to some thief and rapist’s rock climbing session. are you fucking retarded? you probably live such an sheltered life don’t know how the real world works faggot

  • Alikese

    That is not how you throw a shot put.

    • Carl Hungus


      You need to point this out to the Chinese lest their track and field ‘athletes’ get even more pathetic.

    • Tengu

      True, but those maniacs can cross country ski better than anyone!

    • Tengu

      No idea why, but it sounded strange to me and evidently I have too much time. “Put a shot”…who knew?

      Olympic Shot Put:
      China Men – 0
      China Women – 1988 (Bronze), 1992,1996 (Silver)

  • civilization

    it is not so good, i mean it begets violents in society for there are no any serious results that a person once did a purposely anti-lawed issue.

  • Tengu

    I miss “Vic” and his stream of unconsciousness…

  • Jones

    When did the Vikings go from Blood Eagle-ing everyone to this?

    • Tengu

      Wodin is going to kick some serious ass. Shhh….be vewy, vewy quiet!

  • Andeli

    It is possible to do life imprisonment in Norway. When the first 21 years have been served the court will hear the case and can prolong the imprisonment indefinitely. It is done in blocks of 5 years. There as some 20+ people doing more then 10 years.

    What should be added is that one can still be declared insane and that then leaves the “imprisonment” timeline up to medical doctors. They can keep you forever.

    The prison system of Scandinavian countries is based in the rejection of vengeance as described in the Islandic Sagas. In one of the sagas a 16 – 17 year boy is killed immediately after he sets foot on Islandic soil. It is later revealed that one of the boys family members had killed a relative of the killer a few generations back.

    Still its not good to have been in prison in Norway, because everyone in the whole country will more or less know. It means that a criminal is socially stigmatised as they have nowhere to go. The population is too small.

    • Tengu

      According to all the reports, he will be out in 21 years and they “rarely” extend it beyond that.


      There are many legal people in Norway who say he will never see the light of day again because they have never encountered a crime of this magnitude.

      I agree with you it does run contrary to the blood vengeance tales found in the “Nibelungenlied” , the “Elder Edda”, “Völsungasaga”…pick any ancient Nordic prose, but unlike many countries Norway has moved beyond their “mythology” and into the 21st Century.

      A double edged sword in many ways, 21 years for this crime seems ridiculous, but as you stated any ‘isolation” in such a small country is a virtual “life sentence” regardless of his location.

      Like many in the US, they may keep him locked up for his own protection. Charles Manson is in permanent solitary confinement, not for the safety of others, but for HIS. Think of what a reputation you would claim if you were the guy who killed Charles Manson.

      Jeffrey Dahmer was in general population, they killed him withi two years.

  • Jess

    But what does China prisons look like?

    What do they eat, rice and water?

    • First, it’s called gruel, and secondly bitterness is suprisingly filling.

      Misery has no nutritional value, though.

  • I should be sentenced there

  • eattot

    good, if i was there, i would like to do some light crime to get inside for several weeks, only to have another experience for life.

    • Just John

      Well, given Anders killed 77 people, I guess “light” means you have to kill 1 person.
      21/77 = .2727 years per person
      .2727*12=3.27 months

      So, at one person, you get an all expenses paid vacation at the prison inn for approximately 3 months and 8 days.

      If that is to long of a vacation, my suggestion is to go for a rape or two, that will probably only net you a couple weeks.

      • eattot

        oh, i did not know they are so nice to murders.
        my light crime here was mean something as kick off several dust bins, cut off lights , throw stones at windows…
        how naive i am!!!

  • Song of the Article

    Prison Bound
    -Social Distortion


    • Just John

      I would say Tool – Prison sex, but I guess he would have to be in the US for that.

  • Jeof

    considering Chinese “LAO BAI XING” reaction, we see another supporting point that China’s “5000 of culture and civilisation” stopped dead and festered in the last 600 years or so with the darkest hour as the “cultural revolution”.

    • Hongjian

      Maximum Autism.

      Shitheads should be happy about the cultural revolution, because else they wouldnt even be able to criticize this whole thing and act like a sheepish japanese who stays in fukushima because he believes in his goverment assuring him that there’s no radiation at all.

      You are a giant retard. Go read Chinese history and Lu Xun’s works before making assumptions about the idea-historical and intellectual effects of the Cultural Revolution. Because you are just as pants over head retarded as the rest of the Chinese citizenry as well as the Americunts who should all be lined up and shot.

      • Capt. WED

        Hey what’s this rumor that ur lesbian…a chick??? Can I pound that pussy raw?

      • Capt. WED

        believe me u get me hot as fuck…with all that raw nationalist shit!

      • Capt. WED

        yeah bitch, march march march, fascism fuck your face type of raw power!

      • Tengu

        God, you’re magnificent when you’re pissed off.

        “pants over head retarded”

        I wouldn’t worry about Fukushima only being the locals problem, estimates put it at around 300 times as catastrophic as Chernobyl.

        Results from Chernobyl are still not fully known, but estimates are over the years it’s been responsible for about one million deaths already and still climbing.

        It’s on your way!

        • Tengu

          It’s headed to the US as well….we’re all screwed by FuckYouShima…

  • Rick in China

    I’m a big fan of Norway’s prison system. Canada is pretty good, but still a kind of half-way-point between socialist-style Euro prison system and corporatist US prison system in terms of focusing on punishment or rehabilitation.

    Rehab works for them. Many people commit crimes because they don’t have the means to make money a legal way, have anger issues which often stem from psychological or social issues, or lack any sense of helps solve these problems and give people a means to make a real living and contribute to society, feel better about themselves, and socialize better. What does the US-style (China style?) prison system do? Throw non-violent criminals (pot smokers) in with hardened murderers and turn them into bad ass mother f’ers when they come out, otherwise they’d get their jello taken at lunch, and forced to use it in providing salad tossing to their cellmates.

  • staylost

    I think people don’t understand how unpleasant it would be to have a criminal record. I know I don’t understand. But it would be a hindrance to most future goals.

  • Shanghai Sigrid

    People can say what they want, but we still have the least amount of crime and murders- Norway is a peaceful and loving country, and we will not change our ways and manners just because som paranoid massmurderer attack us. If we did change then the terrorist would have suceeded in destroying our society.

    “If one man can show this much hatred, imagine how much love a whole nation can show”.

    • aspeenat

      <3 your post if only we could send the Tea Party, GOP, and CEO's to Norway to learn how to treat others with respect and not as worthless eaters.

    • JusticeyCow

      Jesus mother fucking Christ.

      The idea of preserving your values in the face of terrorism.

      America could learn a lesson here.

  • Seri

    Have these people heard of ‘deportation’? >_>

    • Capt. WED

      deportation to where?

      • gungun

        Ahhahaha! Så jævlig bra!! ;D

  • Norway has the highest standard of living in the world. The reason why people aren’t committing crime en masse to get a free room at the Big House Hotel is because life on the outside is even much better.

    And they don’t have gangsta rap there either. They have trve kvlt black metal exhorting people to worship Satan, rather than glorifying pimpin’ and slangin’ :-P

    • JusticeyCow

      Rap isn’t the reason for crime. : /

      • I know- I was being sarcastic :-P

  • manusan

    now everybody understand why Oslo is 30% african immigrates and why the blood viking boil in Scandinavia.

  • I’ve been to a prison in Hungary for two months. Actually it was not really prison, it was ‘preliminary arrestment’ where they put you if you’re suspected with some heavy crime, and you’re deemed too dangerous to wander around. (I was acquitted, and the state is now paying a fortune for violating my human rights, but that’s another story.) It was one of the most terrible experiences in my life. Four of us were locked up in a 20 sq. meters cell, and I was lucky not to be with violent thugs or Gypsies, or “cannibals” as they say. Still it wasn’t a nice company, one drug dealer, one burglar and one major con man.

    We were allowed to have a walk every day for an hour which meant we were escorted down to the yard, among tall fences and guards with shotguns stared at us from the top of the walls. Just like in American movies, literally. All the scum of earth were there, most of them primitive and aggressive men, unable to control their testosterone and looking for who to pick on. Some were murderers, some plain thieves, most of them Gypsies and Chinese (I was surprised to learn that we have so many Chinese inmates in Hungary, actually just slightly fewer than Gypsies who make up more than 58%). It was dangerous to go for this walk, so I always skipped it, just like all the “normal” inmates (who were not carreer criminals with a lot of friends inside) but you can imagine how I felt after two months.

    Food was next to nothing, I was literally starving, and what we got was very bad. (Besides of nobody knew what got into it…) There was nothing to read or spend time with. Actually there was a library but we weren’t allowed there, an inmate came with a cart twice a month and tossed some books to us, two per head, without a choice: you got what you got, and it was usually some 40-50 years old Communist pamphlet which the prison received back those times. For example I got a book – which was actually interesting – about the heroic fights of the Soviet Air Force during the Great Patriotic War. But there wasn’t much to spend time with besides of these. Only two books per person were allowed to be kept in the rooms. We had a television however, but it was even more torturous for me: it was on all the time, from waking up to going to sleep. I never watch TV as stupid programmes annoy me. Even these days I get shivers when hearing some TV jingles.

    Exercising was strictly forbidden! If they caught you doing pushups, that was somewhat acceptable, but if they found that you built training equipment of the room’s furnitures – some guys did that – you were sent to solitary confinement for a week. They thought we might become dangerous if we did that. Perhaps this was also the reason for the very little food.

    The only entertainment we had was a good play of Catan’s Settlers every day. We had a set because we were allowed to have boardgames and my girlfriend sent a set to me. We also played chess but I was never good at it.

    The worst of all was the psychological torture. One could never know how long he will stay, but it was exceptional that someone got out within six months. First they put you in for 30 days. Then you receive a letter that you’ll stay another 60. Then another 90. And they keep adding another and another 90 days… It will end when a judge finally decides to have time for you. Or your innocence is proven. You need to have a damn good lawyer and a very clear case with unquestionable innocence to get out faster, and some good media coverage can also help. I happened to have all of these so I made it. I was close to lose my sanity.

    Being in a Hungarian prison is like being buried alive. You wake up in the morning… and stare at the walls. The day passes… and you still stare at the wall. The day ends… and you go to bed to see another such a day. You can receive a visitor once every two months. You can receive and send letters however, from persons they authorize, and that’s usually only members of your family and your lawyer. They naturally open and read every letter. You can also phone home as long as your money deposit lasts, for triple the cost of what a phonecall costs actually. Yes, that’s also tapped and monitored.

    So you just spend your time in there, blocked access to your assets, losing control of your enterprise, losing your job, not being able to see your family, not even knowing if you’ll ever see the light again. Actually being convicted is much better since in normal prison you can walk around freely, talk with others, even work. In preliminary arrestment you are not allowed to do this because it might compromise the investigation. You receive the same treatment as in the strictest high security prisons, regardless that you’re still legally innocent (and over 20% are actually are) and that such high security prisons had been abolished years ago for being “inhuman”. Yeah, they are for criminals…

    How I got there you ask? Well, I was a blogger with over 15,000 readers a day, and a strong anti-government posture. Being a pain in the ass for them big dogs they created a case against me and charged me with preparation of a terrorist act, which I allegedly wanted to execute by building bombs from potassium nitrate fertilizer and sugar. This happened in the European Union in 2006, and not in China or Bangladesh. Actually a friend of mine, called Gyorgy Budahazy is also in prison right now, in preliminary arrestment since 2009 (!) for just about the same charges: being a terrorist. Well, he did not have a blog, but had some public speeches against joining the EU.

    • Sunshine

      I guess you’ll be laying low with your blog for a while.
      How much are you getting in compensation? I hope it’s a good amount.
      I can’t help but think that if this happened in China, if you were, by some whimsical force of nature, acquitted, instead of any form compensation, they would probably threaten you by your family from further such activities. And if the media some how got wind of your case, they’d probably then slap some other completely nonsensical charge on you to justify your confinement.
      I’m glad you got out alright. Good luck in the future.

  • 平凡人

    Defeats the whole purpose of going to prison for a crime committed.

    • JusticeyCow

      Norway re-incarcerates about 20 percent of criminals.


      About 55 percent.

      We lock up about 1,000,000 people a year for drug relate infractions.

      …I think you’re wrong.

      • Xiongmao

        Add that the penal system is so hard in the US that quite a few hardcore criminals who’d be 99 percent sure to re-offend are killed while inside, effectively lowering the 55 percent rate.

  • Rod

    It’s funny that this prison has an overall better environment than anywhere I’ve been in China. And the Chinese love to tell me how in 20 years China will be economically better off than the west. Yeah right.

    • Xiongmao

      Some of the Chinese I’ve had a conversation with: “China is so rich now, we’ve overtaken Japan and soon the EU and USA will follow. It’s really very good”
      Me: “So, how much of that money have you seen?”
      Them: “Eh,, well,,, “

      • Sunshine

        When I speak with my fellow Chinese people, when such subjects are brought up, the general consensus is that what is meant by “China is so rich” is actually “China’s government is so rich”. I guess you just haven’t had conversations with any intelligible Chinese persons.

  • Xiongmao

    Clearly the Chinese comments show that people simply don’t get WHY prisons are like this.

  • As a norwegian I must say I find it disgusting how our government treat our elders. They treat criminals better than the people who helped build our country. It’s totally disrespectful to our elders, and our government are spitting us in the faces!

    It is the Norwegian “Labour Party” (Arbeiderpartiet) which are responsible for this mess. I find my government to be a bunch of disgusting human beings.

    • S.

      Although I agree with you that the state of our elderly-care is weak and needs to be improved, I object to your notion that our government is “a bunch of disgusting human beings”.

      I have never voted for AP (labour party) but I think the leadership they showed after the massacre is commendable and admirable. Im not going to vote for them in the next election because my political viewpoints differ, but Stolentberg has showed himself as a great leader uniting the nation and comforting us in our darkest moment.

      Yes the care of elderly needs to be improved. But does this also mean we must treat our prisoners badly? No I don’t think so, I think we have the capacity to do both.

      As Nelson Mandela said: “A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens, but its lowest ones.”

  • Oh, with hindsight, how hilarious the Chinese comment:
    “We have our strengths, let’s not compete with them on this, and instead compete the speed of our high-speed rail. Do they dare compete?”

    50-center? Whoops.

  • Frankolq

    I bet that for Norwegian criminals it’s better to stay in jail than outside. Norway has the highest HDI in the world, and even their criminals are benefited. from that.
    This doesn’t only happen in Norway, have you read about Austria’s Styria prison?

  • B.Nijhuis

    Hi there, i’m Dutch so i can relate to the whole “western luxury thing” still i’ve been to china 2 years back with a friendly chinese couple to there relatives and i must say that in comparison with the living standards i prefer the moral/social standards of the eastern cultures by far. so don’t be jealous of some convicts with a flatscreen TV, the western moral/social living standards are far worse, seriously considering moving to China myself in the next couple of years just to escape the mind-numbing state “we” live in out in the West…
    You are one nation with the need to build together for a better tomorrow for yourself and you children’s children, out here its all about more, bigger, better and going for even more pointless goals in life.

  • Jay FixinCars

    I did almost 4 years in a 3 of Colorado’s 22 prisons. I defiantly hated it so much it changed me to quit fucking around and get a job. Be a productive member of society. Honestly I can say if our prisons here were that plush, I would be out doing whatever, because there is no real punishment there. So I would like to see there statistics on recidivism. Why not go rob a bank? Then you go to prison for a while, “camp” and get out and retire? I would rob a bank over there if that’s the consequences vs gain/punishment.

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