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American Explains Why He’s Returning to China After Leaving

An Air China at the Beijing Airport boarding passengers away from the terminal.

On Sina Weibo:

@财经网: Young American That Just Left Beijing Comes Back: America Can No Longer Be Endured: Migrant to Beijing George previously decided to return to his home country and even previously made a big deal about reluctantly parting with friends as he stepped on the path to return home. Just after two months, he’s returned. His reasons include not being used to using coins and having to live in his parents’ basement. He feels only China is suitable for a loser like him: No longer have to give tips, and can also freely download music. http://t.cn/zjiaeE5 [links to George’s article on the Beijinger]

China's Caijing magazine microblog shares a satarical article from TheBeijinger about why an American is coming back to China.

Comments on Sina Weibo:

老-铁锤:

That’s for sure, and what’s more important is that there is higher-than-Chinese-national status! Don’t need to spend money for an endless supply of diaosi girls.

伊晓森:

Yep, Beijing is the most suitable place for classic good-for-nothing white trash to be, with various higher-than-Chinese-national preferential treatment and status!

花少年梁阿寶:

[哈哈] China is suitable for losers to live in~

暴怒天鹅:

Satirizing [making fun of] the USA?

黑色_幽默_Z:

Satirizing [making fun of] China [哼]

哪吒:

And can freely download music! Fucking high-level satire there!

媒体人肖执缨:

Freely download… Is this showing approval or is it being sarcastic? [挖鼻屎]

察士:

Foreigners in China live more comfortably than Chinese people.

壶中仙:

In my opinion, the key thing is something this American loser is embarrassed to say: In China, there are always girls throwing themselves into his arms dreaming of getting a Green Card. [挖鼻屎]

生活成本太高:

You can’t download music from websites in China when abroad? Requesting explanation!!!???

葱葱那点事儿:

An American wumao?

Tim-O_O-:

Dies of lung cancer a year later.

YL17270800:

China is heaven for the entire world’s losers, America is heaven for the entire world’s rich. [嘻嘻]

手机用户2914500241:

All kinds of satire.

思随悠远:

Is this good or bad?

阿科斯:

China has thoroughly changed him.

李珊瑚3102679551:

Satirized China, at least Beijing.

老何1897:

This too is a lazy American youth, shouldn’t be the mainstream [typical American].

激动学子:

High-end satire.

阿翎-Tom:

Not having to give gratuity, this reason is very true!

赵佳乾:

The main point of the article is: I’m an American, I can live wherever I want.

抓老鼠的大黄四郎:

Does he want Chinese permanent residency? I can offer to exchange with him!

贵州茅台镇大酱坊酒业:

China isn’t short on losers! There’s no need to import losers!

偏北风行:

Is this person real?

Y衞華:

His point is that China doesn’t have copyright protection.

男人厨:

If I had an American passport, I too would be willing to live in China.

蓝莓奶酪盖浇饭:

Laowai in China, as long as they can speak English, as long as they have white skin, then work and women are no problem at all, and they don’t even have to work for it.

Horcrux_Phoneix:

And can freely download music… Seems like this was a slap to China’s face.

晏_supertramp:

No shit, laowai come to China and are treated like kings, can can even ride public transportation for free every day, what’s there not to like?

jbipad:

Is this real or fake?

Hi_Aslan:

And can also go to nightclubs to fuck those foreign-worshipping stupid cunts.

晨风1979:

He only sees having to spend money in America but doesn’t see this being a money-making opportunity. Why doesn’t he go collect tips from other people?

Bert-chow:

Don’t blame America just because you can’t make it there, blame yourself for being a disappointment! When you can’t even accept other people’s customs of tipping, it just shows that you don’t understand other people’s culture, and China will start charging for downloading music next year as well! This kind of person can go anywhere and find it unsuitable, totally a pampered and spoiled little prince! I seriously despise this person!

太阳kelvin:

Every Chinese pussy wants to bring their foreign boyfriend (best if white, but if no other choice then black can be acceptable too. If Asian, must have a [foreign] accent) to a nightclub. American losers can roll around in different bedsheets every night. Losers who aren’t used to women paying them [to be with them] can also easily find a foreign teacher position at English training schools to make a living.

严家有女初长成:

When 2012 happens, in China he is a first-class citizen, and can get a ticket for the ark.

李文才_愛正妹:

How could he have the same level of popularity/welcome in Imperialist America as in China?! I’ve been saying those who go to the mainland to be foreign teachers are all people who couldn’t hack it in America.

木头-当当:

Can no longer put up with American women covered in hair and also being smelly? [鄙视]

罗Jeff:

Is this complimenting us or ridiculing us?

MOSES_THE_SHEPHERD:

Fool is paying taxes to two country at the same time.

fyf1028:

Haha, amusing. This guy better not go to the South, otherwise he’ll also have to put up with coins~

狗小剩儿他姥爷:

How many of this kind of loser laowai are there throughout China, relying on being able to speak a language they’ve known since they were children and relying on their blonde hair blue-eyed foreign devil appearance to get by.

我叫光头:

If I were a Westerner, I’d also stay in China. First-class citizen!

_lolilo:

The higher-than-Chinese-national status and treatment they enjoy is not only seen in government policies but also in our self-loathing and self-belittling borne from years of reverse discrimination education.

常同学竟然也在北漂:

Westerners in China don’t have to worry about finding women.

卖木头的人:

It was too lonely in America.

Captain_Duke:

These days can be considered to be a little better. If it were several years ago, Beijing and Shanghai were paradises for foreigners.

冰河-落日:

Must not let him return.

CarpeDiemDK:

China’s pirated goods industry is indeed very developed!

bbfeechen:

If China and the US were to exchange their losers, it’d be win-win.

tv姜韬:

Prices are cheap in China, and the exchange rate between USD and RMB is 1:6… And there are probably a lot of other “special rights” and preferential treatment…[挖鼻屎]

TurboBrain:

American losers in China are also considered tall, rich, and handsome.

遊-戲-:

24K pure loser, without a single impurity.

许铭之:

The main problem is that Imperialist America doesn’t have that many stupid girls for this loser to have sex with as he pleases~

Chfeng-chen:

Honestly, China is not suitable for Chinese people to live, and is more suitable for foreigners to live.

快乐的J小J:

Hahaha, so cute. Giving tips in America is truly really troublesome. Having to give tips at any given time at any given place.

qixinx:

Spending USD in China, and Chinese people love idolizing/worshiping the foreign too.

Lovelykashmir:

Welcome back to enjoy over 200 PM air. [哈哈]

逝水流云11:

Hehe, gotten used to China’s characteristic lifestyle, hard to change now~ [嘻嘻]

比格斯莫克:

The Heavenly Kingdom has indeed become heaven for foreign garbage.

赤阑桥南:

China’s elites head to America, America’s rejects come to China…

一本正经的扯淡:

China’s visa policy needs to be amended, to close this loophole. Visas should only be given to American girls, and males without females accompanying them should be uniformly rejected! sinister

MrFillico:

You’ve been made into a diaosi, who finds having more freedom uncomfortable! Congratulations, you can now be a qualified Chinese [national]~

囧宽:

There will be even more American rejects coming to China in the future.

刘嘉宏A:

High level satire.

nanjibing9:

Only in a foreign-worshipping country like China will you have this kind of story.

-冯少武:

You sure he just wants to freely download music?

Gallardo_Z7:

This is a “total loser”: Lived in Beijing for five years but doesn’t know Chinese. Goes back to America but can’t find a job, and lives in his parents’ home but isn’t willing to clean up his own room. Because he misses being able to hire an ayi [domestic help], not paying tips, being able to freely download videos, as well as being put on a pedestal by our countrymen, so he has again returned to China, to teach the children of the rich, getting 300 yuan per hour. If China can only attract this kind of loser…

网路冷眼:

Ah, so China is paradise for foreign losers? [吃惊]

风华牡丹:

[哈哈] China is indeed suitable for these kinds of losers. They feel China is the most free, that as long as they don’t break the law, no one will bother them!

罗娴CAFA:

China’s rich have all ran off to America, while America’s poor losers have all come to China~~~ [哈哈]

猫科动物Nicole:

Reverse racism/discrimination should count as China’s fifth great invention, right?

墨香-舒夜:

A place like China is home for diaosi

河边有粒牛奶糖:

Foreign trash, might as well come to China then. After all, China will not kick you out, and there are many people who will welcome you.

河边有粒牛奶糖:

What can you do? There are still a lot of people who are crazy about this kind of LOSER, and 300 kuai an hour too! Many of our highly-educated youth can’t command this kind of prices! The Heavenly Kingdom is truly lamentable.

青盲之微录的青春:

Communism warmly welcomes you [哈哈]

妈妈说名字长了记不住:

No matter if he sells fish, sells meat, scavenges garbage, or is a beggar, as long as he is blond and blue eyed, he can put on a suit and attend conferences, take off his suit and get pussy, open his mouth and be said to have an authentic London accent, even have the police help him and cheer him on when raping women on the streets, get condoms as gifts when leaving, and get a free airline ticket when being repatriated. All very flattering. Only one way to describe it — To be foreign!

Hello_Paris:

Those who are doing well in their own countries usually don’t go to China.” Exactly.

理财e神吕彬:

I think it will soon no longer be possible to [freely] download music in China as well.

大吴寒子:

This kind of person who can’t find work and survive in their own country is of course willing to return to China, because no matter how lousy they are, a foreigner can still get by in China… [鄙视][鄙视][鄙视]

丁三白: [George Ding himself]

Caijing seems to have failed to understand my column…

What do you think? Do you think foreigners (especially Westerners) generally enjoy a “better” or “worse” life in China? Why?

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Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.

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