Chinese Netizen’s ‘Realization’ After Watching ‘Iron Man 3’


The following microblog post is currently the hottest on China’s popular Sina Weibo social network, with over 60k reshares/forwards and over 15k comments…

On Sina Weibo:

@琢磨先生: After watching Iron Man 3, I suddenly realized one principle: Only terrorists can make every television channel broadcast the same program at the same time.


Comments on Sina Weibo:



There’s a hidden meaning.


Are you trying to cause trouble?


Clear and incisive.


[偷笑] Well-mocked.


Rest in peace [蜡烛].


It’ll be 7pm soon. [The above microblog post was posted at 6:34pm.]


Sitting here waiting for this to be harmonized [deleted, censored]!


That’s in the United States~


A certain Liaobo and Spring Festival Gala have been shot [made fun of without provocation].


Dear, “pointing at the mulberry tree and scold the locust tree” [idiom for indirectly criticizing something].


The Spring Festival Gala and CCTV News also.


Isn’t Xinwen Lianbo the same?


[偷笑] Like a certain Lianbo?


Knock knock knock, here to check the water meter.


He’s talking about Xinwen Lianbo!!! (I didn’t say it…)


Also major fires and disasters.


Hahahaha, I light a candle for him.


Then CCTV can be considered half a terrorist →_→ Xinwen Lianbo


Wrong, also China’s 7:00pm sharp.


Have you seen V for Vendetta? V could also do this! Is he also a terrorist in your eyes?


Be low key, don’t be so blunt.


Must be talking about North Korea.


You just wait to be invited out for tea[哈哈]


Are you hinting at CCAV being…


You’re referring to foreign television channels, domestically even Xinwen Lianbo is broadcasted on every channel at the same time.


CCAV is going to invite you out to coffee


And natural disasters.


How come I immediately thought of Xinwen Lianbo?


[哈哈] Everyone all thought of the same TV program of the same time slot.


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Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.

  • Pedros cushing smoking his pipe on the sofa.

    • Boris

      If my memory serves me well, he’s acted a count on at least a couple of occassions. ‘What a delightfully enchanting neck you have, my dear….’

    • Boris

      A c**t by any other name doth still a c**t make.

    • Now you are getting it, young will, do like your reference to Red Dragon, outstanding my dear lad, keep this up you will outshine Anthony Hopkins himself.

    • ScottLoar

      Try “quim” or “cunny”.

    • the ace of books

      You have to watch out, though – these’ll become country matters, otherwise. “a pretty thought, to lay between a maiden’s legs.” “what, sir?” “nothing.”

  • 海綿寶寶

    Chinese release of Iron Man 3 is actually 3 minutes longer than the worldwide version. So instead of doing the usual censorship; they’re doing the reverse and adding brainwashing elements, oohhh fun.

    • Irvin

      I was going to point out the samething myself! it was painful watching those extra pointless scenes, it adds nothing but disgust for me.

      • Alphy

        I watched it on the midnight show on Tuesday. By 2 o’clock and they are dragging on the last 5 mins simply to show these two pointless Chinese actors… People were outright laughing at them

        Seriously, why would ANYONE go to China for surgery?? Really you couldn’t have find a better plot for these Chinese actors in an Iron Man movie about Mandarin? There was nothing Chinese about Mandarin in the movie. There were no special power, or martial art talent like in the original story… anyways quite a disappointing wash down of the suppose archenemey of Iron Man.

        • No magic rings in the Marvelverse? Or is his superpower to make others wilt in his uber-metrosexiness?

          • Alphy

            I don’t want to write spoolers, but no magic rings for Mandarin, in fact the archenemy is not even related to China like in the original story, nor does he have any Alien tech or super martial arts. Mandarin is still portray to be a Scientist though, but instead of being a super genius himself he have a team of smart Scientists.

            Marvel for some reason thought it would be safer to not make the villain Chinese related at all, probably fearing censorship, and try to even make the Chinese part about saving Iron man’s life via some stupid operation that he doesn’t need, and put it in China?? As if to infer China have superior medical technology, and its like the only place he can get the surgery done.

          • I thought Sir Ben K was going to go Chinese “Gandhi” on us, instead he’s a “Wink”?

            We’ve all accepted that the Iron Man universe isn’t based in our reality, what with his impossible tech, adamantium and “congrats! You’ve made a new element!” Don’t see what a few magic bling on a guy who may or may not be Chinese will do.

            Soon there will be a talking raccoon and a cosmic tree man. Let the pseudo-Chinese guy have his bling.

          • Alphy

            From wiki, it said the original story Mandarin was half Chinese, half English nobleman. His parents was wealthy but died during the cultural revolution. His aunt then raised him to be a scientist and an expert in martial art.

            Though family legend he found some weird dragon like Alien in a forbidden cave of China that he later studied and learned their technology and obtain the source of their ship’s power, those magic rings you speak of.

            He then using his new found knowledge and power, went for world domination like any ego driven mad scientist. Even Chinese and America military technology were no match, and there came Iron Man to the rescue.

            I don’t know I think its a pretty good story, but because they couldn’t get China’s approval and wouldn’t want to loose out in a very big market, Marvel completely changed the story to pass the movie censor in China.

          • Butsu

            Well hey, at least Ben Kingsley is half asian.

          • Alphy

            Yeah well… if you watched the movie, Ben Kingsley didn’t really have the super villain role.

          • If they’re going to do the Mandarin, the guy who doesn’t have a cool suit of armor like the last two movie villains, then at least give him a Fu Manchu.

            Like, James Franco as a pimp with a grill AND a Fu Manchu. Now, there’s a guy stylish enough to be able to dethrone RD jr

        • what9876

          Ever thought that Mandarin basically perpetuates negative Asian stereotypes (i.e. untrustworthy Asian villain with kung fu skills) that might have generated backlash not only in China but in the US? Just take a look at how Red Dawn brought all the racists from the woodwork. Minority groups complaining about the use of one-dimensional, stereotypical minority characters apparently haven’t been able to change Hollywood, but it looks like at least China has been able to make some progress on that front (at least for Asians).

          • Alphy

            How is a genius whom’s parents died because of cultural revolutionary and wanting revenge on the world a stereotype? Just because he has kung fu skills? Fine, if they merely take his skill out, I might take your argument.

            In reality is they were not trying to make progress in racial image, as Marvel merely removed all reference of Chinese from the character. It is a move to satisfy censorship, not to avoid stereotype. If they were to avoid stereotype, they could have kept the character’s origin as Chinese and make sure the story portray him as a rounded character. There is no reason that just being a villain and “Asian” that it would automatically make it stereotypical.

    • Mighty

      Can you and Irvin tell us the ‘extra’ added scenes (without spoiling if possible). Thanks!

      • 海綿寶寶

        Extra dialog with fan bing bing running around and and Dr. Wu saying things like there are many places in China that are helpful (coughblatantselfappreciationcough). Useless really unless you’re a bing bing fan

        • Mighty

          Hahaha… I can totally picture that. Btw, I don’t know why so many people hate Fan Bing Bing but I like her when I saw “Lost in Beijing”.

          • I hope you don’t mean “Lost in Thailand” because that was the worst possible cameo appearance ever. In the line of credits, she is listed fourth.

            The Pamela Anderson cameo in “Borat” worked because she’s part of the plot. In the bag, so to say.

          • Mighty

            “Lost in Beijing (2007)”. I’m still waiting for “Lost in Thailand” to be available on Netfilx.

            Hahaha… “Borat”. I’ll watch it again over the weekend.

          • Allow me to sum up the movie for you:

            “Fan Bingbing!”

            The other guy broodily looks at the camera

            If you want a good movie about redemption, go see “Purple Rain”.

          • Mighty

            Noted. (But I hope you didn’t mean the one with Prince aka The Artist).

        • alchymyst

          Yeah, I thought this was quite ridiculous and random.

        • Wow super pathetic since her role doesn’t even seem to be that big to begin with.

        • Dr Wu, the “Radioactive Man”? Giving useless exposition? Sounds like the second sequel for sure.

          No one is a Fan Bingbing fan; people just hate her because they’re not her/not having sex with her.

          • donscarletti

            Chinese women often consider her to be a perfect beauty.

            Chinese men mostly find her pretty hot, but not a national top 10 contender.

            As for foreign men, I’d classify her that if one was in a relationship with her, her appearance wouldn’t be a turn-off, but one certainly wouldn’t pursue her because of the way she looks.

          • I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for farting


            Would you really kick any woman out of bed with you for farting? I wouldn’t, as long as she’s cute, I personally love it when women fart in my face.

          • Well, the part up to “as long as she’s cute” was my point…but the farting in the face, no. Conjunctivitis isn’t my idea of romance.


            Ah man, where’s your sense of adventure. Besides as you probably already know, if you live in China just walking outside exposed to the air is probably more likely to give you conjunctivitis than smelling a few farts.

          • Mighty

            TMI !

          • If Fan Bingbing were to fart in your bed, just pull a “Japanese microwave” on her.

          • mr.wiener

            I wouldn’t fart her out of bed for kicking.

            terroir, it is “Dutch oven” TYVM.

          • “Japanese microwave” is the faster, more economical version.

          • It sucks that one person can embody the one and only Chinese beauty aesthetic at the moment: that means that everyone is trying to look the same (see the Korean plastic surgery story).

            There are lots of hot Chinese women, but they don’t look like Fan Bingbing. Yummy milfs like Gong Li and Maggie Cheung are so ignored and not emulated, nor are they used as the inspiration to develop one’s own looks.

            Modern trends suck.

          • donscarletti

            Your statement goes contrary to the general belief that Zhang Yimou makes new stars (such as Zhang Ziyi) simply because they look like his ex-girlfriend Gong Li.

            Anyway, plenty of other girls out there getting their face slapped on products and magazine covers that look nothing like FBB. Li Bingbing despite the name looks nothing like Fan Bingbing, Lin Zhiling gets a lot of praise for her “perfect” looks which I agree can be classified as “really good”, Zhao Wei gets a lot of covers recently too with her giant eyes and cute little features underneath them.

            Anyway, I shouldn’t critisise FBB that much, she’s not the first woman that’s become known as a great beautify despite me rating her as “sorta pretty”.

          • Then that means Zhang, Fan and Gong all look alike, and I don’t see it as that. However, there is definitely a crop of Chinese actresses that all look alike. I’d name them but I get them all confused. There’s even a movie “love on credit” where the two lead female actresses are identical twins as played by non-related people, but still look completely identical.

            Fan I hate for what she’s become, but it’s Li Bingbing that I despise. She’s the one who has weaseled her way into the Star Wars and Resident Evil movies, right? Besides being crass, she is way too old AND looks it.

          • vincent

            Well there is one big Fan Bingbing fan on this here website, she goes by the name of ‘Eattot’ aka ‘Bugs Bunny’

          • Eattot needs to post her cute facial pictures again, get all the guys beating their meat to her, I do recall one poster asked if she could visit him, so he could bust his nut all over her face, rofl

        • A Gawd Dang Mongolian

          In most other forms of entertainment that has another name: fanfiction.

      • Alphy

        The only scene where you see Tony and Dr Wu is in Switzerland where Tony was introduced to Dr. Wu, who spoke in mandarin to Tony as if he can understand what he said. Then in some pointless scenes, Dr. Wu would call up Tony’s Chinese associate or something to remind him to watch for his health because he care so much as his friend…

        The stupid scene in the end was Fan Bing bing stroking ego with Dr. Wu and how they are very likely to kill Iron Man by trying to help him… ya I don’t doubt it…

        • Mighty

          Don’t tell too much. I’m going to watch it this weekend.

      • A couple Chinese characters that spend 3 minutes asking each other 对不对 while Iron Man sits around waiting for them to ‘catch up’… Eventually they go after him. It would be too confusing in the CN market if they just spoke and understood each other the first time.

        • Mighty

          I can totally envision that stupid scene.

    • don mario

      lol, china needs extra ass kissing scenes to allow the movie to be released.

      why bother? if everyone stopped giving in to the spoilt brat of the world’s demands they would be forced to become a normal functioning country… maybe.

      • Mighty

        That’s like a country placement. “Product placement” in movies is bad enough. The latest Bond “Skyfall” was like a Heineken commercial. That’s my beer of choice but c’mon, that was disgusting!

        • Although didn’t he have his usual shaken not stirred drink in the plush hotel bar in Shanghai, and again in Macau scene?

          • Don’t forget a 30 second long flyover of Shanghai, one of the only scenes actually shot in China.


          • I thought the airport and the skyscraper scenes were all shanghai?

          • Nope in the oatmeal UK. And as pointed out, the delicious irony (?) of it all is that these scenes that weren’t shot in China were censored from the Chinese version.

          • Article was very informative. You are dead right:)

          • Thanks. I’d rather be funny, but sometimes they are the same.

          • Thanks for that link, very informative, the swimming pool scene was shot in london, who knew.

          • Mighty

            Honestly, I can’t remember his usual shaken not stirred because all that’s stuck in my head is the scene where he’s holding a Heineken bottle and slowly takes a sip that lasted for what felt like 20 seconds. I guess it works! They succeeded in planting it in my mind.

          • I remember that scene but then at the bar in mexico (?) on the beach he is drinking to-kill-ya? Pretty sure he has a cocktail in the hotel bar in shanghai too, and is getting into a bottle of something other than heineken at M’s plush house near the start, could be just me, will watch again.

          • If I can paraphrase the article in which the filmmaker is quoted as “…we wanted to make Bond feel out of his element [by putting him in China]”, so yeah, giving him a beer and a turtle neck will do that.

            Despite that he’s been in China before (Die Another Day, Man with Golden Gun, etc). And the Chinese chicks he must have bagged…. the ultimate laowai.

          • True, it leads many bond obsessed geeks to wonder is 007 merely a code, and not one man? IE, each agent is a different man, hence why bond can appear older or younger? Personally I don’t buy it though

          • It doesn’t matter to me, but then I thought “Skyfall” was worse than “Q of Solace”.

            I think the code “007” would be an awesome idea applied to China’s equivalent to James Bond, Wong Feihong.

          • I haven’t really liked any of ones Daniel Craig has done, he seems too cold and distant. At least Pierce Brosnan brought some humour to the role. Best bond? Toss up between Connery and Moore.

          • I liked the less realistic James Bonds of the past, with the outlandish villains and the impossible gadgets…but, I like that Daniel Craig’s James Bond could probably put up a decent fight against Jason Bourne. That’s how I rate any bad ass spy/soldier type…how would they stand up against Bourne?

          • Same here, but maybe that’s a nostalgic thing.

            Weird how during the cold war spy movies basically evolved into “fantasy” genre flicks with unrealistic premises (Moonraker!), but now that the spy genre and the real spy world is diminishing (Skyfall), it becomes grittier and more realistic.

            In response to your getup, I’d say that Roger Moore would dispatch Craig/Bourne by using one of Q’s devices, and then make a quip.

            As unfair as that is, you know you just played out that scene in your head. And, Moore was wearing a white tuxedo jacket while you were dreaming it.

          • Indiana Jones whips the shit out of everyone, punching Bourne onto some tank treads and kicking Craig off a broken rope bridge into a river with an impossible amount of alligators. When Moore pulls out his Q-invented gadget, and the crowd splits to give him room, and says “ooooh”…Indy just shoots him with a revolver.

          • Me too. I think as you say with Daniel Craig’s bond they tried to show bond as a cold hearted killer who feels no remorse, a ex navy commander used to following HM’s Orders. Moore seemed to play the role more for humour than perhaps any other bond.

    • donscarletti

      I’m waiting for the Chinese to realise “Hey, they edited out Fan Bingbing in their version! But isn’t she the queen of Cannes every year? National treasure level beauty?”

  • Alex

    xinwen lianbo is just maximum retardation. Structure:

    Our lingdaos are so so so busy doing things for the people!
    Chinese people are SO happy and 富裕, for example, happy of the rise of gas prices!
    老外国 is so dangerous and unhappy!!

  • BiggJ

    Around the first of the movie.
    “What does Iron Man rely on to revitalize his energy?”

    After a three-second blackout, three big Chinese characters appeared onscreen: “Gu Li Duo.”

    Gu Li Duo is a milk drink. lol

  • BiggJ

    I was reading that some people in china were pissed because their version was different then the international one. They thought the extra should have been in the international movie too. Like they took out when iron man was in front of yongdingman gate with with Dr.Wu and school kids cheering him on. ANd not enough screen time for chinese actors and a bunch of other bullshit.

    The man who played Dr.Wu was tell chinese media a few months ago that his role was major and all this shit. In the international version he only had 10 seconds of screen time and a little bit at the end of the movie.

    I’m sure Disney just did the least they had to to make the movie show in china to get money. There are only 34 hollywood movies allowed in china every year. Just do it for the money. I’d throw in a few chinese actors and scenes from china for the chinese audiance…..only chinese are going to see that bullshit anyway. As long as they don’t change the version for the rest of planet…who cares…take their money.

    • alchymyst

      Shit, what parts did they edit out? I just watched it today.

      • alchymyst

        Nevermind, just saw.

      • BiggJ

        What version did you watch?

    • Anon

      Honestly, I didn’t like the idea of sucking up to China in these co-productions, but if it really just means we’re cynically ripping them off by gaming their silly media rules and taking advantage of their need to have their national ego stroked then I’m all for it. Give them a taste of their own medicine.

  • BiggJ

    I think chinese should change their movies too. Take out all the propaganda bullshit and add some real actors. Then maybe the rest of world would watch their movies. Even go as far filming the entire movie in english for western audiences.

    Reminds me of the slow kid we had in my class when I was in school. The rest of us had to do regular work while the teacher always made him “special” work sheets for him to do. He was kind of like a chinese person, he would spit and piss everywhere except the bathroom. And no one could understand the english he was trying to speak….he was good at math though…he was the only one who could count to “potato”. lol

  • Allow me to be the first to compliment the “Mandarin” in the top photo for looking completely pimptastic. I want all Chinese terrorists to attack US arm dealers wearing plush robes and wearing rocking aviator glasses.

    I completely hope that this metro-sexy outfit becomes shanzhai’ed all throughout China. Laowai, you’ve finally met your match.

    • vincent

      Yep Ben Kingsley does pull off the look pretty well.

      • To me he is always Don Logan in Sexy Beast : “Yes, yes,yes, yes, yes,yes!!!!!”

        • garbo

          He was amazing in Sexy Beast.

          • Personally, I thought he was over-acting at times, but yes he was amazing. No, you are just going to have to turn this opportunity yes!:)

      • bprichard

        I mostly find it fascinating that Ben Kingsly is willing to stoop to perform a role this pointless. He must have way less money than I think he does.

        • Who else would a tent pole blockbuster movie hire for a villain role? Someone who isn’t a classical actor with Shakespearean experience?

          That said, I’d give up tang if Tony Leung was cast as the Mandarin and was pictured at top. Either Tony, in fact.

        • Checking him out on imdb he always seems to have loads of gigs in the pipeline, either he really wants that extra house in marbella replete with olympic size swimming pool, or he has a lot of ex wives/coke habit to fund. He doesn’t seem like a cokehead, but yes, you have a point, one does wonder. He does play a lot of villainous types though mostly.

          • bprichard

            I liked his villainous take on Gandhi. That was an eye opener!

          • Brilliant actor, half indian and I think half jewish…a hell of a combination combined with his brit accent.

  • narsfweasels

    The extra Chinese scenes in IM3 just add fuel to the fires of Sino-centrism: Western medicine couldn’t get the shrapnel out of his heart, but CHINA CAN DO IT!

    Quick, boil up some tree bark and sesame roots, that’ll fix you!

  • mattman_183

    Iron Man Drapering. Fantastic.

  • percymay

    The plot of “World War Z,” the movie, is being changed in order not to offend China.

    After spending more than $200 million, the movie producers are now having serious problems creating an ending that was not in the book.

    Now another inferior movie is being made to placate the Chinese.

    America has really gone down.

    • Obama is just a whipping post, and the reason the US is being screwed by India, Mexico, South Korea and others.

      • The Hungus

        I’m not American so I don’t care but I seriously doubt that Mormon guy, who’s name I don’t even remember, would have been any better.
        Why r u yanks so pissed off at O? I don’t get it- is it because he tried to create a decent healthcare service and protect your kids from psychos with assault rifles? What a bastard!

        • Unfortunately by taking away the guns, he will turn the US into the lawless UK, where you can’t even lay a finger on some scrote who decides to rob you, and you are supposed to call the police who if you are lucky will turn up 2-3 hours later. Again, I know the gun control debate, but the UK is a mess.

          • The Hungus

            Ah- the British.

            If the Brits could buy guns like the yanks can you’d have wiped yourselves out by now. The few, insane survivors would be barricading the channel tunnel while stealing every decent pair of trainers in the country. You’d build a fifty-foot-tall statue of Jason Statham and gather ’round it like the villagers at the end of ‘The Wicker Man’ all humming the theme to Dambusters… and then it would start raining.

            Horrid little country.

          • As opposed to a horrid big country that needs to learn from their neighbours to the north. Canada, leading the world in being just north, no, no, in every possible way. Nowt wrong with the channel tunnel dear boy, and the wicker man is a great film with christopher lee. I think you need to set sail, get to China, be happy, you’ll be happy and gay with a nice chinese female TA will you not?!

          • ScottLoar

            “Horrid”. I recall Camilla Parker Bowles now elevated to Duchess of Cornwall referring to Princess Diana as “that horrid creature”, and being called in turn The Rottweiler, but a “horrid” country? Bit of a stretch, yes?

          • A stretch indeed my dear boy. Personally, I would prefer a republic not much fan of nazi and danish and greek bloodlines ruling my green and pleasant land, but it is what it is.

          • mr.wiener

            Good rant!

          • Who is taking away guns? Gee golly whiz, they missed my home. I really hope no authorities look in my closet and find these contraband hunting rifles. Oh, wait, no one is actually taking away guns.

          • Well it happened in the UK and Australia, end of story as far as I am concerned!!!!

    • That book is amazing in what it supposes (patient zero in China, is the worst zombie outbreak, the republic of Tibet) but even more amazing in how realistic as to how it treats its Chinese characters. (too bad about the bad accent of the audio book)

      People can nerd out about how the pressure on the ocean floor will crush a zombie skull, but I think it’s an accomplished narrative.

      That said, completely right. We’ll have cool “running zombie” CGI tho’. If they want to completely placate China, the zombies would hop.

      • The audio book’s Chinese accent was so horrible, it insulted me as if I were Chinese. It was appallingly bad. But more insulting was hearing Alan Alda’s voice.

        • It really is too bad because it’s a well-written character: he’s not a goofy stereotype, and he follows Chinese customs and thinking. (He quotes a poem, too?) But yeah, it’s almost as bad as the aliens from “The Phantom Menace”

          I’m not at Alan Alda yet. Here’s hoping he’s the racist South African deal maker.

          • It doesn’t matter what role he plays. It’s always Alan Alda’s voice acting. He sounds like Quinton Tarantino trying to sound sophisticated.

          • He was pretty good as the evil congressman or whatever. And that Korean soap opera he was on, for like 20 years.

            Anyways, I’ll let you know if i spit out my milk when I get to that part.

    • Kai

      Hollywood is not being dictated to by China, Hollywood is catering
      (and in some cases, pandering) to China. No one is making Hollywood do
      anything it doesn’t choose to.

      • BiggJ

        Yep, they know the only way they can make money in china is to have their movies show in the theaters.

      • percymay

        You are right. Poor choice of words.

        Hollywood, the whore that it is, is doing what it always does, goes for the money.

        Since you brought up “pandering, does that make China the prostitute or the john?

      • moop

        typical develpment of a chinese deal: negotiate until terms are agreed to and then threaten to pull out at the last minute to get more terms in your favor violating all good will created between the two parties… or )and this is my personal favorite), set up payment schedule in contract and then “request” new concessions or terms. If the other party doesn’t agree, proceed threaten to not pay the next installment. This is how the hollywood and prc-backed movie deals work.

  • ABC

    I could deal with Fan Bing Bing. I could deal with all that extra stuff that had nothing to do with the movie. But what I couldn’t deal with was that the Chinese version DIDN’T HAVE THE AFTER CREDITS SCENE where Star and Doctor Banner are talking!!! Never watching a foreign film in China ever again. It just ruins it.

  • trouse

    so promote terrorism in this country.