Chinese People’s Secrets: Part 12

Chinese People's Secrets

More translated secrets of Chinese people…

From Tianya, “Share your heart’s darkest secrets…do you have the courage?”:


In comparison…
my secret is not at all interesting…
but I still feel compelled to share it…
When I was small…
I once very seriously put a fart in a bubblegum container [a round container with a roll of bubblegum]…
and after having left it in there for many days, I took it out to smell it…
Is this not a little deviant…?


I have stolen over 10 bicycles, usually throwing away the old one after stealing a new one.

The five women other than my wife that I have had sex with, I cannot free myself from. I may belong to the type of people who have a very poor sense of morality.

Oh well.


Allow me to repent here.

I very much regret not being more considerate when I was small, having stolen money from my own parents, relatives, very good friends, classmates, and also from the “auntie” downstairs who always let me eat at their home.

I really wronged them. I have grown up very well now, my family does not lack money, have come back from studying abroad, have a BF [boyfriend] in the judicial system, and have very good friends, but I am unable to forget the bad things I have done in the past.

My heart has always felt very heavy. Other people’s childhoods are always very blessed and happy, but when I think back to my childhood, it is filled with regret. I will continuously do charitable things to atone for my past sins.

To these people that were harmed, I want to say that I am sorry, and hope hat they can all be blessed with happiness. I am truly sorry.


Beginning from when I was 5-years-old, I automatically learned how to SY.
When I started primary school, I SY every night for 40 minutes.
I estimate so far that I have climaxed over ten thousand times.
I have very shamefully concealed this…I really do not understand why/how I learned this.
Finally, I am a female…


Actually, mine is not really that dark.
My husband is bisexual.
The first time I met him I already felt he was gay.
At the time, he had a girlfriend.
Later, I directly asked him if he was a gay.
Then he left his girlfriend and got with me…
However, it has already been a very long time since he has been with a man, they were all when he was young.
Nowadays he can be considered the traditional successful figure in other people’s eyes, but when I look at him I still think he is pretty amorous, hehe.


When I was in junior high, a group of male schoolmates would go to a girl’s home to play during noon. After going for over one month, one day, the leader of the group suddenly told us to help hold down that girl. We chased that girl throughout the house as she ran and soon caught her, holding her down on the living room coffee table. Everyone was laughing very hard, she was also laughing very hard.
After laughing for a few seconds, she stopped laughing, telling them to let go, saying they were hurting her, but we all did not let go, every boy’s eyes sparkling.
Then the leader big brother pulled down his pants and put his JJ in. Middle school exercise uniforms are good, one tug and they come off.
After 3-5 minutes, he pulled out his JJ. I do not know if he ejaculated or not…and then so we would not report him, he had several schoolmates take turns, every person only allowed to insert a few times. At that time, none of us had much knowledge, and were afraid that inserting too much would result in pregnancy.
Then because there were too many people, it did not get to my turn before we had to return to school.
In the end, everyone returned to school to go to class in the afternoon as if nothing had happened. I bet all the people who had participated spent the entire afternoon thinking about that…


Seeing all these secrets, I am reminded of an old report about a warm-hearted person’s who in his youth wanted to help numerous people who had problems in their hearts and started a psychological counseling hotline but then committed suicide one month later because he could not endure the stress in his heart;

So, other people may not be able to bear the weight of the secrets in everyone’s hearts. Even if we may feel inferior or weak in our lives, we are actually always resisting the darkness in the depths of our hearts. On this point, everyone are survivors and courageous people;

If you are not afraid of being alone or the darkness, can you still be afraid of sunshine and smiles?


When I was in university taking my test for post-graduate studies, I lived with two already-working female schoolmates in a two-bedroom apartment. The two of them lived in the big bedroom, and I lived in the small bedroom. Everyday I was preparing, they went out to work. They treated me very good, because we already knew each other from school. They would always help me by washing my clothes and cooking for me.

However, every day I secretly went into their room, took out their NK [内裤, “nei ku,” underwear], and SY.
Han,” I just want to say “sorry.”


The “me” that others see is pretty much “perfect”: My grades are good, master’s degree student at a famous school, physically beautiful, good personality, like to joke around, and interact with other people very harmoniously. However, to this day I cannot forget my own status as a non-virgin. Yes, intellectually I understand this is not a big deal, but my family upbringing does not think this way. Moreover, I have read online that everyone says men definitely look for virgins for marriage, and if I am not, my marriage will not be happy.
So I always pretend I am a virgin in front of other people, and have a bad attitude towards the previously boyfriend I had broken up with. I know he still loves me, but I already do not love him. I know that both sides have responsibility for us ML, but I cannot help but take my frustrations out on him, feeling that had he not continuously asked, I would not be this way. He is still confused why my attitude is so poor [towards him]. He personally believes he did not do anything to wrong me, that we we loved each other, and even if we broke up, there is no need to be this way! But I cannot do that. I have even thought of going to a city where no one knows me to get hymen surgery, but I also do not want to cheat other people, especially my future husband.
I am very miserable. I cannot go back to my previous boyfriend just because I am no longer a virgin, because I truly already no longer love him. However, I cannot go cheat my future boyfriend simply because of this. Now, I am afraid to even date, just because I am afraid he will raise that kind of request [to have sex].
I feel there is a good chance I will be single for the rest of my life.


I really love my husband, but because we are living in two different places and I cannot endure being lonely, I have habitually cheated.
Before marriage once, after marriage once.
My husband knows everything, and we just performed the divorce procedures.
But I know I really love him, except I am embarrassed to redeem myself/save the situation.
Why am I so despicable? I really want to just die and forget about it.

Note: Many of the these usernames are the same because people are using a public/shared account to post their secrets so no one knows their normal Tianya username.

To be continued…

See more Chinese People’s Secrets.


Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.


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