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Chinese People’s Secrets: Part 3

More translated secrets of Chinese people…

From Tianya:

环加驹:

My son had a fever and the kindergarten school teacher came to visit. I invited the teacher to have some water, and conveniently tested a drug [a powder that is added to drinks to make people want to have sex] I brought back from Japan, the drug was very effective.

柠檬小呆:

Once when riding the bus in my first year of middle school/junior high, I held my money [fare] in my hand but all along I did not give it to the lady collecting fare…all this time, I still feel like I should pay, but I forgot the bus’s license plate…

环加驹:

There is a girl next door. Every day, she stares vacantly at the underwear I hang out to dry. I cannot bear to let her suffer staring at my underwear every day, so one night I sneaked into her house, and left her one of my underwear.

383834467:

I like S&M and watching “a片.”

妙手空空鱼:

Whenever I have the opportunity to peek [at someone], I will definitely peek. If there is no opportunity, I will create one.

dennis_cb:

In the middle of the night, there was a girl in the building across from me who was taking a bath (she probably thought it was so late and did not close her window, plus it was summer). It was really stimulating! Several times, I have also seen a 30-some-year-old woman in the building across from me with a man having sex (normally it seems she lives alone, and in fact, she often changes male partners).

环加驹:

I was following a girl. When we got to a small alley, I was going to grab her. A dog barked. I stopped.

城市农家:

I am thinking of having two wives.

蓝色R1:

When I was small, I stole a chicken before.

我爱苍井空:

I often watch A片, then learn and practice, very happy!

黄力暴:

I secretly touched my cousin’s breast when she was sleeping at my house during the summer.

建设我们伟大的党:

I have fucked Maggie Cheung [Zhang Manyu]!! When she came to my hometown to see impoverished students, I was in Yunnan! I have told others before but they do not believe me!

叁月拾肆:

My stomach was hurting. So on the school’s roof, I pooped a really large and fat one…and I used someone else’s clothes to wipe. Haha…

秋月坠江波:

When I was in the fourth grade, the teacher punished me by making me stand in a corner. That day, I had a cold, had a lot of mucus, and forgot my handkerchief. I had no choice but to face the corner and wipe it all on the wall. In the end, the teacher thought it was strange: how come this little guy is standing in the corner so honestly today?

抽完蜡烛点皮鞭:

I often ride the public bus and pay with game coins/tokens…does this count…?
If this does not count, I also give the blind beggars I pass by game coins/tokens…this counts, right…!!!

To be continued…

See more Chinese People’s Secrets.

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Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.

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