Chinese People’s Secrets: Part 6

Chinese People's SecretsMore translated secrets of Chinese people…

From Tianya, “Share your heart’s darkest secrets…do you have the courage?”:


I really want my first love who abandoned me to come back to me.
Then, I want to make him unable to leave me.
In the end, I want to ruthlessly abandon him.

However, it is impossible for him to come back to me. Hehe.


I am a female, ever since I was really young (junior high) I loved reading sex comics and novels. And what more, I like those that are sadistic! My current boyfriend does not know, that I and my first boyfriend have been to third base, but I have not told my current BF [boyfriend].


I always think of taking a male’s position/perspective to go love girls, or take a male’s position/perspective to love guys.
But I still feel being a girl is good, and am not willing to get a sex-change.
I do not know what to do, and do not dare to tell anyone, afraid others will say I am abnormal.


I have had relations with a male star in Hong Kong before. We still keep in touch now. I have told my good friends before, but my good friends do not believe me, not until I showed them pictures did they believe. I bet no one believes what I am saying right now either.


I was extremely headstrong/stubborn when I was small, often disobeying my mother, even telling my mother to kneel before me (up to now I cannot find a way to forgive myself, just remembering this makes my chest feel tight.) Even though my mom has forgiven me, I still cannot forgive myself.

As for lou zhu‘s type [of secret], I have only stolen other people’s bubblegum many times.


When I was 22-years-old, I once had an abortion for a man I deeply loved. Now I am 26-years-old and have never gotten pregnant again. My current boyfriend does not know this matter. No one else will ever know.


Grandmother [paternal] and mom have had conflicts, which has brought me a lot of trouble, including at school, but I have never told anyone.
I often endure getting yelled at from both sides, so always feel like something is abnormal within my heart/mind, and am very temperamental. I once was yelled at by my grandmother to the point where I became absent-minded, and wanted to jump off a building.


When I was 17, I almost had relations with my dad’s good friend, but fortunately later at a key point I said “no.” I have never told anyone before, so it will forever be a secret within my heart.


When I was 20-years-old, I did something inappropriate behind my boyfriend’s back, and even became pregnant, but eventually had an abortion. Now when I see a little child, I will remember myself having once killed that child, and I feel very bad.
I have had a one night stand before.


I am a male. I like males~ I have loved my elder male cousin before~ With him I had my first time!!! But for my parents, I must marry a girl~ I am suffering, I really do not want to d that! I would be wronging her~

Note: Some of the these usernames are the same because people are using a public/shared account to post their secrets so no one knows their normal Tianya username.

To be continued…

See more Chinese People’s Secrets.


Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.


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