From Tianya, “Share your heart’s darkest secrets…do you have the courage?”:
I really want my first love who abandoned me to come back to me.
Then, I want to make him unable to leave me.
In the end, I want to ruthlessly abandon him.
However, it is impossible for him to come back to me. Hehe.
I am a female, ever since I was really young (junior high) I loved reading sex comics and novels. And what more, I like those that are sadistic! My current boyfriend does not know, that I and my first boyfriend have been to third base, but I have not told my current BF [boyfriend].
I always think of taking a male’s position/perspective to go love girls, or take a male’s position/perspective to love guys.
But I still feel being a girl is good, and am not willing to get a sex-change.
I do not know what to do, and do not dare to tell anyone, afraid others will say I am abnormal.
I have had relations with a male star in Hong Kong before. We still keep in touch now. I have told my good friends before, but my good friends do not believe me, not until I showed them pictures did they believe. I bet no one believes what I am saying right now either.
I was extremely headstrong/stubborn when I was small, often disobeying my mother, even telling my mother to kneel before me (up to now I cannot find a way to forgive myself, just remembering this makes my chest feel tight.) Even though my mom has forgiven me, I still cannot forgive myself.
As for lou zhu‘s type [of secret], I have only stolen other people’s bubblegum many times.
When I was 22-years-old, I once had an abortion for a man I deeply loved. Now I am 26-years-old and have never gotten pregnant again. My current boyfriend does not know this matter. No one else will ever know.
Grandmother [paternal] and mom have had conflicts, which has brought me a lot of trouble, including at school, but I have never told anyone.
I often endure getting yelled at from both sides, so always feel like something is abnormal within my heart/mind, and am very temperamental. I once was yelled at by my grandmother to the point where I became absent-minded, and wanted to jump off a building.
When I was 17, I almost had relations with my dad’s good friend, but fortunately later at a key point I said “no.” I have never told anyone before, so it will forever be a secret within my heart.
When I was 20-years-old, I did something inappropriate behind my boyfriend’s back, and even became pregnant, but eventually had an abortion. Now when I see a little child, I will remember myself having once killed that child, and I feel very bad.
I have had a one night stand before.
I am a male. I like males~ I have loved my elder male cousin before~ With him I had my first time!!! But for my parents, I must marry a girl~ I am suffering, I really do not want to d that! I would be wronging her~
Note: Some of the these usernames are the same because people are using a public/shared account to post their secrets so no one knows their normal Tianya username.
To be continued…
See more Chinese People’s Secrets.