Chinese Son Refuses to See Mother Because She is “Too Ugly”

Auntie Ding, the mother of a son who refuses to see her after she traveled 5 hours to visit him and bring gifts for his family and newborn daughter.

Auntie Ding, the mother of a son who refuses to see her after she traveled 5 hours to visit him and bring gifts for his family and newborn daughter.

Currently one of the most commented articles on Chinese web portal Phoenix Online with over 37k comments spanning over 1800 pages and 137k participants…

From Phoenix Online:

Zhejiang: Mother Wakes Up Early and Travels with Carrying Pole to See Son, Who Refuses to See Her Because He Thinks Her Too Ugly

TV Presenter: The next story is about an elderly person, an Auntie Ding from Yuyao. Recently, Auntie Ding’s daughter-in-law gave birth, so today she left home at 4am in the early morning shouldering a carrying pole as she transferred buses twice to travel from Yuyao to Xiaoshan [district in Hangzhou] in order to see her newborn granddaughter. However, when she arrived, her son refused to pick up his phone.

Narrator: We saw Auntie Ding at the Xiaoshan Car Market, her head covered in sweat from the heat, with the many bundles and packages she brought with her this time beside her.

Auntie Ding: He said I’m ugly, that I shouldn’t come, saying I would embarrass him.

Narrator: Auntie Ding is from Yuyao. Her son is 32 years old this year. Last month, her son called home and said [he and his wife] have given birth to a daughter. So Auntie Ding came specifically this time to see her granddaughter.

Auntie Ding: My old man [husband] said not to come, and I said our daughter-in-law has given birth, so I definitely must come, that I’ll bring some stuff to give them. I got up at 4am and got here a little after 9am. Before 10am, I was wandering here and there searching [for her son]. Those two workers asked if I was scavenging garbage [usually for recyclables]. I said I’m not scavenging garbage, I’m looking for my son, he’s a car salesman. The two workers then also helped me look, but my son still hasn’t appeared.

Narrator: Auntie Ding says she left home at 4am in the morning, and rode the bus from the village to Yuyao, then rode another bus from Yuyao to Xiaoshan, shouldering a carrying pole the entire way carrying rice vermicelli, ham, and dried beancurd for her son’s family, as well as baby clothes she had prepared for her granddaughter, all made by herself. A basket of eggs even had a live chicken, but it had already died by this time.

Reporter: Did you give him a call before hand?

I called him yesterday and said I would come, that my body/health has been better these few days, that I was worried for his wife, so much that I couldn’t eat [due to mood]. My husband also said to him, your mom isn’t eating, she wants to visit, so let her visit. He said okay.

Narrator: The merchants nearby also used their mobile phones to help Auntie Ding call her son, but no one answered. Auntie Ding says she only knows that her son works at a company at the Xiaoshan Car Market, but as for which company and what he does, she isn’t clear. A merchant pretended to be a customer and sent a text message to Auntie Ding’s son, only to get a reply saying Chief Xu was on a business trip to Xiamen. Auntie Ding says her son has not been in touch with his family much since graduating from university, had met his current wife about four or five years ago, and the two married last year.

Reporter: Do you keep in touch much normally?

Auntie Ding: I’ll call him, and he’ll talk to me briefly, but he won’t call, he won’t call you [on his own normally]. He hasn’t called/visited after finishing college.

Reporter: He stopped keeping in touch after finishing university?

Auntie Ding: Very rarely, and he doesn’t care to visit.

Narrator: Auntie Ding says her body hasn’t been well lately. Previously, she worked as a housekeeper for others, while her husband does temporary work at construction sites. They had borrowed money from everywhere in order to put this son through college. Their son graduated from a well-known school, and when he got married, he had asked for money from them, because their financial situation was truly very difficult, Auntie Ding had given her daughter-in-law a gold necklace. Auntie Ding says she had specially purchased the clothes she is wearing right now before coming.

The reporter called Auntie Ding’s son one more time, but still no one answered. Finally, Auntie Ding decided to leave, to go back. The things she had intended to give to her son’s family, Auntie Ding could only again shoulder them as she walked into the bus station.


Note: Not included in the transcript above is a brief comment by the TV presenter at the end of the video. The presenter comments that they are willing to believe that there may be a problem (resentment, grudge) between mother and son that outsiders do not know of, but when it comes to a mother who gave birth to us and raised us, and even if she has done something wrong somewhere, what is there that cannot ultimately be tolerated or forgiven?

Comments from Phoenix Online:


What’s the use of graduating from university? The knowledge and diploma can’t hide the ugly in his heart.


Every mother is the most beautiful. This kind of son is bitterly disappointing!


Let us all despise this kind of unfilial son together.


A son never thinks his mother ugly! And this guy graduated from college! His brain is full of shit!


Tell me where he is, I want to go beat him up. Afterward, you can call the police, and say it was intentional injury.


Truly no better than a pig or dog!


A son does not think his mother ugly is something all animals know by instinct. The greatest, most pure and sacred love in the world cannot surpass that of a mother’s! When a son is far away, a mother worries, and will brave all hardships in search of him. This son thinks his mother ugly. This son doesn’t know how beautiful his mother’s heart is, while his own heart is incomparably false and ugly! This son is worthless.


Raised an ingrate.


China’s traditional virtues has been completely destroyed by you [the son]… Do you know what “of all virtues filial piety is the most important” means…?


As it is said, a son does not think his mother ugly, a dog does not think his home [master] poor. To say you are worse than a dog is simply an insult to dogs.


Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.


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