Female Diaosi Fights Goddess – Part 2

Part 1 featured social issues like extramarital affairs, Chinese students’ interest in academics, and premarital sex among other things. Part 2 of this 3-panel photo series pokes fun at things like the female guests on the popular TV speed-dating program Fei Cheng Wu Rao (aka If You Are the One” but literally and more accurately “If not sincere, then do not disturb”), sex, and boring classes at school again reflecting a variety of attitudes amongst young Chinese adults.

Why are there 24 female guests on Fei Cheng Wu Rao?
What’s three [times] eight? [Note: 三八 (sān bā), literally “three eight”, also means “a slutty and gossipy bitch”]?

If you married a man who has a twin brother, how would you be able to tell who’s who?
Why do I have to tell who’s who?

When you waste one minute in class, you actually waste one minute for each of the 40 students in the class, which is 40 minutes in total.
Teacher, dare you lecture for only one minute in class?

Yesterday, I bought a box of balloons to play with. After I blew all of them, I felt that my mouth was oily.
You sure they were balloons?

There’s a headless woman’s body outside.
If it’s headless, how can you tell it’s a woman’s corpse?

Tell me, why am I so popular?
Because you gave us confidence.

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Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

  • B*tches, Leave

    oooommmmggggg I want my 30 seconds back!!!

    • B*tches, Leave

      If I ever will be tortured for information, I hope they won’t use humor like this … oh god, I get goose bumps for imagining it brrrrr

  • Rick from Opposite Land

    HAHAHA this is hilariously funny, thoughtful and really good :D

    • Jahar

      Please tell me that is sarcasm that is lost in typing.

      • mr.wiener

        check the name dude.

        • Jahar

          Yeah I saw that, but I wasn’t sure if he had just changed it for the post, or he was just staying china is opposite land.

    • Crik

      It was so funny I want to disembowel myself with a fishing hook then rip my larynx off and pull my diaphragm out in order to never laugh again.

  • mr.wiener

    Some things are translation, others are cultural. I just know that as far as humor goes it wasn’t blowing my dress up.

  • EnlightendOne

    it’s okay guys, like Sun Tzu said: “the humor of an article does not lie within the article, but within the comments below” … true story

    • Jahar

      I read the book, but I don’t remember that part…

    • mr.wiener

      I liked the bit where he chopped the concubines heads of for not being able to do parade drill.

  • Jay K.


  • Alex

    Dunno which one is shittier, the 1st or the 2nd part.

    • Germandude

      Under the 1st one I predicted that the 2nd part can only be better. Well, I might’ve been wrong.

      • mr.wiener

        Makes me hope friday will be the end of the world, then there won’t be a part 3.

        • Germandude

          Those Mayans sucked! My wife and I wanted to cook traditional German stuff over xmas. Now because of these stupid Mayans I will miss the food. Any chance to switch the dates somehow?

          • Alex

            German cuisine…reminded me of IT Crows, there’s an episode about that, hahaha.

          • Germandude

            I don’t know IT Crows. Is it a good show? The problem with traditional German cuisine is that it is difficult to find the right ingredients nowadays (even in parts of Germany) and it takes a long time to cook.
            If you ever have the chance: Sauerbraten, Pumpernickel, Eisbein are still common and good.

          • Alex

            Oops, sorry. I mispelled it. It’s “IT Crowd”. British show, hilarious!

            Good! Never knew anything about you guys’ cuisine. Will try when I got a chance.

  • Gay Azn Boi

    Fei Cheng Wu Rao is great entertainment, but let’s face it, the women are all fucking bitches. Even if I were straight, I wouldn’t be attracted to any of them. I honestly can’t believe all these suckers are dying to get on the show. The waiting list is said to have hundreds of thousands of men. I remember this one episode where this guy travelled for 10 consecutive days on a bus just for his chance to get on this show. Fucking insane.

    • Elijah

      Yeah, my wife loves the show and I watch it occasionally with her when I suddenly hear all the lights going off all at once. Mostly, I’m curious why they make their decisions, but usually it’s just a train wreck of a show.

      Most of the time, the reactions are pretty much guaranteed. Ex: I’m still friends with other females. (lights off) I have a okay job, enough to have a comfortable life as long as we save. (lights off) I’m saving to buy my own apartment, so right now I’m renting a place that’s 70m2. (lights off) I think marriage is an equal partnership where both people should work hard and contribute. (lights off)

      • Gaius Baltar

        Wasn’t your wife half island girl/half japanese? Unless there is a Hong kong/japanese/taiwanese variant of the show?

        • Elijah

          No, she’s not an “island girl” That’s disrespectful of someone you’ve never met.

          She’s half-Taiwanese and half-Japanese. She still watches the same show because she speaks Mandarin as her second language.

          Edit: Also she looks like Sharon “Athena” Agathon, seriously. Baltar and Caprica 6 were made for each other. Only show to make me tear up a bit with just the music……..

    • Kate

      Thanks for the recommend, I love catty bitch shows :)

      • ScottLoar

        So do my Chinese wife and I, and Chinese women young and old are the cattiest. My

    • Slob

      The women on Fei Cheng Wu Rao are fucking shallow, mindless cows who only care about money and fame. They don’t choose the men because it lets them stay on the show. They’re just attention whores waiting for some bazillionaire to choose them. I don’t know why any man on that show would find any of them particularly interesting because any woman at their ages who has standards that high with the face of a bucket of smashed crabs, is not worth a second glance. The silly cows usually bomb out when they find out the guy isn’t super rich even though they might be really nice and a good partner/husband, these twat sausages only want the best.

      Best of luck whores, may you go home empty handed every show until you hit Da Ling Nu status.

      • Gay Azn Boi

        Exactly my thoughts!

  • MrT

    Dam, got my fat head stuck in the bottom of the barrel.

  • Germandude

    hahaha, I am laughing. Actually I am laughing because of someone considering this being funny…

    • Gay Azn Boi

      Q: Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
      A: They give them gas.

      • Germandude

        Q. Did you hear about the two gays who went to London?
        A. They were REALLY pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.

        • mr.wiener

          Two deers walk out of a gay night club, One turns and says to the other:” I can’t believe we just blew 20 bucks in there”.

      • mr.wiener

        Why did the gay cannibal take a shite?
        He was dumping his boyfriend.

  • Anonymal

    isnt 888 means prosperity?

  • Jahar

    I don’t understand why they use pictures of 2 girls that no one knows or cares about. Don’t you need that for the funny?

  • Super Bunny


    • mr.wiener

      Glad to see someone liked it. I wonder how reruns of “Gilligan’s Island” would go down in China.

  • The only one that made me smile was the one about the balloons.

    It reminds me of the time I tagged along for my girlfriends driving class and an older women asked how to put on her 安全套. She still didn’t understand what was going on even while everyone was laughing.

  • PaulGillett

    If you married a man who has a twin brother, how would you be able to tell who’s who?….

    I thought that one was funny. >_<

  • willie miller

    These jokes are so bad that reading them is like a form of self-abuse and anyone who knows me knows I love to abuse myself. I’m going to read them a second time but this time more slowly, really take in every word. All aboard the pain train!

  • Oily condoms… HEE HEE HEE!

  • Daniel Tynan

    This was worthy of a part 2? Do the authors on this website even read the comments section?

    • Germandude

      Look at the bright side. They said that there is part 1 and part 2. Now let’s hope that there is no xmas present for us with a part 3.