Funny Women vs. Men Morning Wake-Up Pictures

These funny pictures have been spreading through email and on many Chinese BBS forums:

Title: 男人的女人 Man’s woman.

Alarm rings, girl wakes up, boy continues sleeping...

Clock: 滴!滴 滴! 滴! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
Girl: 起床 *get out of bed*
Boy: zZz

Girl brushes teeth and washes face...while boy scratches himself and continues sleeping...

Girl: 1. 刷牙 Brush teeth
Boy: zzZ

GIrl: 2. 洗脸。。。 Wash face…
Boy: 抓抓。。。 *scratch scratch…* zZzZ

Girl applies lotion...while boy turns over and continues sleeping...

Girl: 3. 化妆水 Lotion
Boy: zzZ

Girl: 4.  美白 Whitening lotion
Boy: 呼~! 转身。。。 “Hu~!” *turn over*

Girl: 5. 乳液 Emulsion
Boy: zzz

Girl: 6. 隔离霜+防晒 Anti-UV + sunblock
Boy: 啧!。。。啧! “Ze! … Ze!” [a sound people make when sleeping]

Girl begins choosing what to wear...while boy continues sleeping...

Girl: 7. 挑衣服 Choose clothes to wear
Boy: zZ

Girl: 8. 穿衣服。。。 脱衣服。。。 穿衣服。。。 脱衣服。。。Put on clothes…take off clothes…put on clothes…take off clothes…
Boy: *scratch scratch*

Girl finishes dressing and applies foundation...while boy continues to sleep...

Girl: 9. 穿好衣服 Finished dressing
Boy: zZ

Girl: 10. 粉底液 Foundation

Girl puts on powder and curls eyelashes...while boy talks in his sleep and continues sleeping...

Girl: 11. 粉饼 Powder
Boy: zzZ

Girl: 12. 夹睫毛 Curl eyelashes
Boy: 说梦话。。。 *talking in his sleep*

Girl applies eyeliner and blush...while boy continues sleeping...

Girl: 13. 眼线 Eyeliner
Boy: zZ

Girl: 14. 腮红 Blush
Boy: zzZ

Girl puts on lipstick and arranges her hair...and the boy finally kicks off his blanket and gets out of bed...

Girl: 15. 口红 Lipstick
Boy: 踢被子。。。 *kicks blanket…*

Girl: 16. 整理头发 Arrange hair
Boy: 起床。。。 *get out of bed…*

Girl accessories while boy quickly washes his face, brushes his teeth, dresses, etc. all at once...and now they're ready to go out!

Girl: 17. 不铃不领+包包+鞋鞋 Bling bling + purse + shoes
Boy: 洗脸+刷牙+换衣服。。。*wash face + brush teeth + change clothes…*

Girl and Boy: 出门! Go out!

My friend email these pictures to me but I also found a lot of comments on them on KDS forum:

It only takes me 8 minutes to get ready to go out after waking up!!

I was waiting to see how long it takes for this guy to get out of bed!!

Too cute! So true!

Shit, this guy knows to wake up on his own! That is pretty good already!

Shit, only need to leave by 9:00? What a comfortable job!

So guys are the highly efficient ones. So much done in only five minutes.

All women are like this when they go out.

Not all girls are this complicated. Nowadays, many guys wake up with crazy hair too.

Good thing I do not put on make up! Otherwise, I would be late everyday!

At my house, when she wakes up, I wake up too. When she is doing her stuff, I have to cook breakfast.

Everyone’s goals are different.
Women still need to please others after marriage.

This girl is incredible. Her face took her about an hour to do.

Cosmetics are women’s opium!
Superficial women!

Looks like there is no morning erection?

Turns out I am a guy…
It took me 20 years to find out…

Give a little praise.
It is not easy being a girl.

Is there one for before they go to sleep?

According to this, I am a guy.

The guy must have been too tired from the night before.  So it is only proper for him to get more sleep.

The guy does not have a morning erection. Someone, introduce him to a good doctor.

Nonsense, I have always gotten ready first in the morning before getting my wife out of bed.

Portrayal of my life.

Too cute.
So true.

Too true!!!
Every time I have to wake up half and hour earlier…and only when I am finished does my boyfriend get out of bed before we go out together.

That is about right. I have an extra step: Use the toilet.

Impressive~ The guy in the pictures just needs a morning erection propping up the blanket. Otherwise, it would not be realistic.

Absolutely just like my wife! Bump!

That is about right, just like my girlfriend. 8:00 go to work, 6:00 get out of bed. Insane.

It should also have:
Him using the toilet, me making the bed;
Him brushing his teeth, washing his face, me preparing his clothes;
Him dressing, me hanging up his pajamas;
Him putting on his shoes, me getting the trash;
Him preparing the car, me discarding the trash;
Him taking me to work, me giving him a kiss.


  1. What do you think about these pictures? Are they true?
  2. Why do many girls spend so much time getting ready?
  3. Do you think it is really necessary for girls to do this?
  4. How much time do you need to get ready each morning?

Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.


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