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Gamblers, KFC, Girlfriends, & Weibo

late-night snack in casinos

My mahjong buddies say this is a late-night snack served only in casinos!

late-night snack in casinos

KFC now has rice topped meat and vegetables, and promoting it as having “The taste of mom’s cooking”. Netizens harshly reacted, “Does your mom give you so little rice? Is she your stepmother?”

KFC's rice

In order to avoid washing dishes, my lazyass roommate came up with the idea to just eat instant noodles.

Eating instant noodles in a fast and easy way

While watching Titanic in a Shenzhen movie theater yesterday, just as the ship hit the iceberg, the power cut out! Some guy in the row behind cried out, “What the fuck! It’s this easy to time travel?!” 

darkness

If you meet a guy from the national football team, marry him! South America is too far away, they’re family men, insisting for decades on staying in Asia. Such men should be cherished!

Chinese national football players

[Note: This bitingly sarcastic news headline (above) is a criticism of China’s national football team, widely hated by frustrated long-suffering Chinese football fans, for their consistent inability to compete successfully. This headline and article appeared in the news following the Chinese national team’s 1-0 loss to Iraq in 2011, dashing China’s World Cup appearance hopes yet again.]

I’ve always envied my boyfriend like hell, for having the world’s best girlfriend…

Because of sleeping problems, I warned my girlfriend to be quiet when I sleep. The next day, my body was covered with writing: “See? You didn’t wake up at all!” “Still not waking up!” “SB, who are you fooling?!”

Bulled by the girlfriend

[Note: The Chinese in the image reads: “If she hits you, you absolutely must pretend it really hurts.”]

When a man has feelings for two girls at the same time, which girl he loves more depends on which girl loves him less. — Han Han, His Kingdom

Writer Han Han

Q: What’s the relationship between Weibo [microblogs] and Weiruan [Microsoft]? A: Time…

Sina Weibo

[Note: This Chinese joke relies on Chinese homoephones or puns. Weibo, prounounced wei1 bo2 can mean both “microblog” and “slight erection”, whereas wei ruan is literally “micro” and “soft”.]

Sina Weibo’s best advertising slogan: A flutter of the heart, a twitch of the penis.

Microsoft and Slight Erection

[Note: Another joke relying on Chinese homophones, at Sina Weibo’s expenses. 新浪 (Sina) and 心浪 (flutter of the heart, a sexual yearning) are both pronounced xin1 lang4. 微博 (microblog) and 微勃 (slight erection) are both pronounced wei1 bo2.]

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Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

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