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‘Gay Love’ & ‘Gay Friends’

The Chinese internet jokes and humor below all relate to the following Chinese slang…
基情

[jī qíng / ji1 you2]
noun.
Gay love, referring to the relationship between gay men or jokingly between straight men.
Link to this entry.

基友

[jīyǒu / ji1 you3]
noun.
Homosexuals, homosexual partners. Often used jokingly between good male friends.
Link to this entry.

Our company’s security guard is over 50 years old. It’s said he’s quite progressive, but I’ve never understood why. So yesterday I asked him, “Grandpa, I hear you’re very chao [trendy, fashionable]. This grandpa replied, “Saonian, gaoji ma [‘Hey young man, wanna have gay sex’]?” Thunder rolled through the sky, goosebumps all over.

Two lustful teenage boys

The key slang and Chinese internet memes required for decoding the above joke are:

  • 潮 [cháo] adj. Trendy, fashionable.
  • 骚年 [sāo nián] n. Pun on 少年 [shào nián] “youngster, youth, young person”, with the first character being defined as flirtatious, lusty, even slutty.
  • 搞基 [gǎo jī] n. To be, to make, to go for being gay, to have homosexual relations.
  • 天雷滚滚 [tiān léi gǔn gǔn] expression. Literally, “thundering sky”, an expression similar to or 雷 [léi] being struck by lightning, stunned, zapped, stupefied.

The UK’s newborn little prince’s name: George Alexander Louis. A [Chinese] netizen translated [transliterated] it as: 搅基 [jiǎo jī] 压力山大 [yā lì shān dà] 撸一世 [lū yī shì], “Gay Mountains of Stress Stroking for Life”. Where is the integrity/respect/common-decency?

George Alexander Louis and his parents

The key slang and Chinese internet memes required for decoding the above joke are:

  • 搅基 [jiǎo jī] v. Variant of 搞基 [gǎo jī]. See above.
  • 压力山大 [yā lì shān dà] expression. Mountains of stress.
  • 撸 [lū] v. To stroke, often referring to male masturbation.
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For reference, the British prince’s name is generally transliterated into Chinese as 乔治·亚历山大·路易斯 [qiáo zhì yà lì shān dà lù yì sī], with puns involving well-known Chinese slang and internet memes being the basis of this joke, something understandably difficult to appreciate after translation.

Textbook, being gay.

Textbook about transgender

“Teacher, I’m 11 years old and want to ask you a question.” “Hello, what do you want to ask?” “What’s the difference between jiyou and paoyou?” I immediately felt a kind of pressure from [a concern for] the future of our country…then I thought about it very carefully and earnestly answered him: “Jiyou is a friend who eats Kendeji [KFC] with you, while paoyou is a friend who eats paomian [instant noodles] with you. The former is about exchange, while the latter is about efficiency.”

Gay Couple

It’s possible to read quite a bit into the answer given if understood as metaphorical and metaphorical on multiple levels. For example, KFC is about “exchange” in the sense of Chinese diners experiencing foreign food (an “exchange” of cultures), but how might that relate to to the notion of homosexuality? Likewise, how does “efficiency” relate to the idea of “friends with benefits/friends that fuck”? What if “efficiency” was translated as “time-savings”?

Chinese culture truly is rich and profound…

gei

At night in the dorm, while bored, we started talking about french kissing. The bro on the top bunk suddenly asked: Is french kissing something that only existed in the modern age? Did people in olden times do it? Just when everybody began contemplating this profound question, the quietest and most reserved guy of the dorm nonchalantly said, “Zhuge Liang Sparred Against a Hall of Learned Lords with His Tongue~~~”

Zhuge Liang

诸葛亮舌战群儒 [Zhuge Liang Shé Zhàn Qún Rú], “Zhuge Liang Verbally Sparred With a Hall of Learned Lords” or “Zhuge Liang Debates a Group of Scholars” is a well-known story in Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

Suddenly realized that if foreigners are the descendants of Adam and Eve, why the hell are we the descendants of the Yan Emperor and Huang Emperor, two men? I can’t stop thinking about this…

Yan Emperor and Yellow Emperor

According to Chinese history, the Huang Emperor prevailed over the Yan Emperor, whose people were absorbed into the Huang Emperor’s people, with both thus being regarded as the ancestors of the Chinese people.

The Difference Between Past Society and Modern Society. So bright it blinds my titanium alloy dog eyes [“blindingly” incisive/perceptive, startling accurate].

Change in society

Can this be the new reason for infertility and not having children?

Sperms fall in love with each other.

Having no mother-in-law feels so good.

[Translation of text in image above:]

In the past, I was always against same sex marriage, thinking that the union of two people of the same sex is wrong and ridiculous. It was not until I met my current wife, who was raised by two fathers, that I learned one thing…

It feels great to not have a mother-in-law.

Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

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