On my wedding night, I almost slept with my wife’s twin sister
My wife has a twin sister. Not only is their height, weight and appearance identical, but even their interests, hobbies, personalities etc. are the same. I frequently can’t tell which sister is which, leading to a lot of embarrassment and jokes.
When we’d first started dating, due to the fact I didn’t know she had a twin sister, there was one time I ran into her sister on the street holding hands with another guy. I almost ran over there to start a fight. Fortunately, at the time I was more rational and hid behind them and called her (my girlfriend’s) phone. The girl who answered the phone wasn’t the one in front of me. This is how I found out the woman I was madly in love with had a clone. But, her sister’s boyfriend was not as rational and lacked my restraint. Once while my girlfriend and I were playing in the park, I was suddenly ambushed from behind. Right from the beginning I thought we were being robbed in broad daylight, right up until he pointed at my girlfriend and yelled at her, saying “You slut! Two-timer”. It was then I knew this guy had mistaken her for someone else. So I said, “Who’s two-timing? You better have some grounds when you speak, not just throw out reckless nonsense” Next to me, my girlfriend said “There’s something really wrong with you, who is two-timing? I’m really confused.” Upon hearing my girlfriend say this, the guy who attacked me filled with anger, trying to intimidate us.
Anger immediately welled up inside of me, so I fought through the pain and squared off with the guy. Behind me my girlfriend yelled “Do you know a girl named Fang Wen? If you do then stop.” The guy’s fist suddenly stopped in mid-air – but mine did not, and crashed hardly into the left side of his face. After that I hit him on the bridge of his nose, causing his nose to bleed. But this didn’t anger him or make him want to hit me back, but instead he wiped away the fresh blood streaming from his nostril, saying, “So I guess you’re not Fang Wen?” My girlfriend said “Fang Wen is my sister, I’m Feng Ying. I added, “We just said… you better have grounds for saying something, and not just say whatever you want… otherwise you might regret it. Do you still not believe?”
The guy said, “How can you two look so similar?” I said “They’re twins, how can they not?” Amazed, the guy said “How come she didn’t tell me she had a twin sister?” My girlfriend said “You never asked, how could she tell you? I also never told him, he found it out on his own.” After all of this, I’d forgotten to apologize to him. I said “I’m so sorry for not pulling my punch just now, and making you bleed.” The guy said “Don’t worry about it, it was my bad. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
Those were two examples of some misunderstandings when we were dating. Afterwards, the two of us really couldn’t differentiate between the two sisters. They told us a “secret” way to tell the difference, which was that Fang Wen’s right earlobe had a little mole and Fang Ying didn’t. But this posed a problem too, as we can’t look at their earlobe every time to figure out who’s who, right? But then, after thinking about it for a while, there was indeed no other way to do it. In most situations, with twin boys or girls, the appearance is the same but the personalities and hobbies etc. are dissimilar. But these two sisters have no dissimilarities, and even day-to-day behavior and the tone with which they talk is identical.
Due to always being afraid of not recognizing the right one, whenever I’d see one on the street I didn’t dare hazard an attempt at recognizing which one it was. Those identical expressions, that identical tone of voice scared us into sometimes having to ask them if they were Fang Wen or Fang Ying. As a result, they always liked to say the opposite, with Fang Wen saying she was Fang Ying and Fang Ying saying she was Fang Wen. Sometimes (we) had to rely on our own feelings and judgment, but when they would say they were not (who we thought they were), we would waiver. Of course, along with getting to know them better we were able to distinguish some minor differences. But even with this, sometimes we still couldn’t recognize which was which. For instance, on the wedding night, I accidentally pulled her sister Fang Wen into the bridal chamber.
So before the wedding guests were to harass the bridal chamber, someone – I don’t know who – had an evil idea. They said the sisters looked so much alike that they all could not tell the difference. So, to test us and see how deep our love was, and to see if I could tell which one was my wife and which one was not, they made them both up to look exactly the same and gave me 10 seconds to pick out which was my bride. At the time, even though my head was a little dizzy I was still sober enough to remember that her sister had a black mole on her right earlobe, and my wife did not. So I used this method to choose her. So I just randomly grabbed one of them and pretended to hug them, while checking out their right earlobe. Thank God I randomly chose the right one; she did not have a mole on her earlobe.
Everyone said together, “You think that’s her?”. I said very surely, “Yes.” And she gave me a loving look, hinting that I’d chosen correctly. I felt very proud. Even though at that moment my vision had started to become a little blurry, I’d still chosen correctly.
Everyone then sent us into the bridal chamber. But, we hadn’t even been in the chamber for a few minutes, yet from the outside came a huge racket. Inside I was scolding them… “This gang of hoodlums, could they keep it down for just a moment? What in the world are they doing beating on the door? Is this how you harass the bridal chamber?”
I drew strength from the alcohol and in a daze, grabbed my bride and carried her to the bed, preparing to get down to business. But something unexpected happened, the bride suddenly became uncooperative with me and started to resist, even saying “You can’t do this”. I said “Why can’t I do this? Haven’t we been doing this for a while? And after such a happy night, how come I can’t?” She could see how much I wanted to and said “I’m not Fang Ying, I’m Fang Wen. You are my sister’s husband.”
When I heard this I felt light-headed, saying “How can this be? Fang Wen has a mole on her right earlobe—you don’t”
“Who said I don’t? Take another look”
I looked immediately. Oh my god, there really is a mole there. What did they use to cover it up? I said “Oh no, what do I do now?” Fang Wen said “You just pretend to be drunk, and collapse on the ground. Afterwards, I’ll open the door and leave.” It seemed like that was the only thing I could do, I’d best pretend to have fallen down on the ground drunk.
After Fang Wen opened the door and left, I knew my real bride had come in, but I had to pretend I didn’t know. I had to pretend to be drunk, and I had to do it convincingly. My bride came in and pulled me up from the ground. I partly faked not letting her pick me up and partly faked some “drunk talk”. I said “You, you, don’t touch me.. you … you touching me isn’t right. I know… know.. know my bride is still… still outside. I just… just pretended to…to…to… pick the wrong wong one…just for them…them..them to see. To make them happy…..happy…. to think that that I’d made a mistake…”
My wife hugged me so tight and pulled me to the bed, giving me a hot, passionate kiss. I knew I’d succeeded. Haha!
Note: The above image is not related to this story.
Comments from Mop:
Is this for real?
The ending wasn’t as good as I was expecting it to be.
Such a good opportunity blown.
Are they really the same inside and out? Awkward
[idiom] Started out great but fizzled out at the end.
First finish the deed and then open your mouth…
Buy one, get one free.
If you’d slept with her it would have been better, [idiom]get two beautiful women at the same time [kill two birds with one stone]
Lou zhu is bullshitting (us)
You’re so lucky, what are you doing not bedding both of them?
Have a 双飞.
How come I’ve never had this much fun?
More opportunities. chinaSMACK personals.