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“How a Bed Shared with My Wife is Divided”, Chinese Reactions

Chinese translation of 'Bed Cartography' by Doghouse Diaries showing how a bed shared with one's wife is divided.

The following microblog post was among yesterday’s top 10 “hottest”…

On Sina Weibo:

@一起神回复: Geographical division when sharing bed with wife…

Chinese translation (and English retranslation) of 'Bed Cartography' by Doghouse Diaries showing how a bed shared with one's wife is divided.

The diagram above is a Chinese language translation of “Bed Cartography” from Doghouse Diaries (below). I have added English translations of the Chinese translation because the meanings are a little different from the original English. Click above image for original Chinese-only version.

bed-cartography-doghousediaries

Comments from Sina Weibo:

阿拉飞仔:

Haha, very funny

我的同事是个婊子:

First…

虐猫狂人薛定谔: (responding to above)

you need…

View_薇薇薇: (responding to above)

a wife.

我是你大众女神:

When I’m sound asleep, the entire bed could be my domain! His would be the floor!

宇宙侵略總司令:

Don’t worry, when your wife becomes unfaithful, that area of no fucking use [uncharted territory] will be used, because your wife will basically spend all her time there…

kjjlovescm:

If that area of no fucking use had any use, then you’d be of no use anymore ╮(╯▽╰)╭

谁动了我得奶瓶:

[泪][泪] Mainly it’s because my area is warmer.

小云妮_茉莉:

@柴可夫小健 We’re the opposite. [哼][哼]

AshleyChen:

@好孩子是囍枪枪 Completely the other way around!!

真相她侄女:

Humph! You’re someone who has a wife! She sleeps with you every day! And you’re still unhappy/unsatisfied!

嬉戏唱游下世纪:

[哼][哼]Shot even when lying down“, every time I’m crowded onto the edge [of the bed], and she even drapes her arm and leg on me, just barely not squeezing me off onto the floor.

邓宏飞_Jesus:

Actually, sometimes I too am a pillow.

伏地魔HP:

Stop complaining, okay? Your wife’s entire body is your area of physical occupation [territory], okay??!

当时我就震惊了:

A blow-up [doll] is better. After you’re done, you can let out the air and it won’t take up any room!

王之夏:

Could not be more accurate.

Is this true for you and your significant other?

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Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.

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