“How a Bed Shared with My Wife is Divided”, Chinese Reactions

Chinese translation of 'Bed Cartography' by Doghouse Diaries showing how a bed shared with one's wife is divided.

The following microblog post was among yesterday’s top 10 “hottest”…

On Sina Weibo:

@一起神回复: Geographical division when sharing bed with wife…

Chinese translation (and English retranslation) of 'Bed Cartography' by Doghouse Diaries showing how a bed shared with one's wife is divided.

The diagram above is a Chinese language translation of “Bed Cartography” from Doghouse Diaries (below). I have added English translations of the Chinese translation because the meanings are a little different from the original English. Click above image for original Chinese-only version.


Comments from Sina Weibo:


Haha, very funny



虐猫狂人薛定谔: (responding to above)

you need…

View_薇薇薇: (responding to above)

a wife.


When I’m sound asleep, the entire bed could be my domain! His would be the floor!


Don’t worry, when your wife becomes unfaithful, that area of no fucking use [uncharted territory] will be used, because your wife will basically spend all her time there…


If that area of no fucking use had any use, then you’d be of no use anymore ╮(╯▽╰)╭


[泪][泪] Mainly it’s because my area is warmer.


@柴可夫小健 We’re the opposite. [哼][哼]


@好孩子是囍枪枪 Completely the other way around!!


Humph! You’re someone who has a wife! She sleeps with you every day! And you’re still unhappy/unsatisfied!


[哼][哼]Shot even when lying down“, every time I’m crowded onto the edge [of the bed], and she even drapes her arm and leg on me, just barely not squeezing me off onto the floor.


Actually, sometimes I too am a pillow.


Stop complaining, okay? Your wife’s entire body is your area of physical occupation [territory], okay??!


A blow-up [doll] is better. After you’re done, you can let out the air and it won’t take up any room!


Could not be more accurate.

Is this true for you and your significant other?

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Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.

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