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“Dealing with Mom Tactics Collection” by Beijing 4th Graders

A hand-drawn book of tactics and methods of dealing with an angry mother, by two 4th grade Chinese girls in Beijing.

A hand-drawn book of tactics and methods of dealing with an angry mother, by two 4th grade Chinese girls in Beijing.

From Sohu Weibo & Sina Weibo (1 & 2):

@村头树: “This is a book made especially for 6-12 year old children who are yelled at by their parents every day.” Mothers, are you prepared, get ready to deal with these!

“Dealing with Mom Tactics Collection”

A hand-drawn book of tactics 6-12 year old children can use agains their mothers by two Chinese 4th graders in Beijing.

Introduction: This is a book made especially for 6-12 year old children who are yelled at by their parents every day.

A hand-drawn book of tactics 6-12 year old children can use agains their mothers by two Chinese 4th graders in Beijing.

How to Deal with Mom: Tactics 1 & 2.

Tactic #1
When your mother is yelling at you, you can:
Look elsewhere, think about something else. Don’t care, don’t listen.
Style: Hard.
Note: Can’t be used often.

Tactic #2
Your mother is yelling at you and not letting you look somewhere else, you can:
Find something trivial about mommy to criticize.
Style: Hard.
Note: Can’t be used often.

How to Deal with Mom: Tactics 3 & 4.

Tactic #3
When your mother is yelling at you with all her might, you can:
Pretend to cry (put some effort into it!).
Style: Soft.
Note: Must look real (can be used often).

Tactic #4
When your mother is yelling at you with all her might, you can also:
Throw yourself onto your mom and cry.
Style: Soft + soft.
Note: Can be used often.

How to Deal with Mom: Tactics 5 & 6.

Tactic #5
When your mother is yelling at you with all her might, you can run back to your own room.
Style: Hard + soft.
Note: Don’t forget to lock the door (you can cry in your room).

Tactic #6
After your mother yelled at you, you can:
Not speak to your mother.
Style: Hard.
Note: Can’t be used often.

How to Deal with Mom: Tactics 7 & 8.

Tactic #7
After your mother yelled at you, if she asks you something, you can:
Reply to her question with your eyes closed (at best!).
Style: Soft + hard.

Tactic #8
After your mother yelled at you, you can: sulk/stay angry (at worst).
Style: Hard + hard.
Note: Must use sparingly.

How to Deal with Mom: Tactics 9 & 10.

Tactic #9
When your mother is yelling at you, you can say:
I’ll/it’ll be good next time, I promise! (First get through this instance now and deal with the next instance when it happens).
Style: Soft + hard.

Tactic #10
After mommy has finished yelling at you, and her anger hasn’t yet dissipated, you can:
Write a note and stick it under her door.
Style: Normal.

How to Deal with Mom: Tactics 11 & 12.

Tactic #11
After mommy has finished yelling at you, you can:
Secretly enter her room.
Style: Normal.

Tactic #12
After mommy has finished yelling at you, you can:
Use some small things around you to make a mini-weapon.
Style: Normal.

How to Deal with Mom: Tactics 13 & 14.

Tactic #13
After mommy has finished yelling at you, you can:
Sing, for example: “Mommy is a small watermelon…”
Style: Hard.
Note: Can’t be used often.

Tactic #14
After mommy has finished yelling at you, you can:
Fall on the ground, cover your years, and keep saying: “I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you…”.
Style: Hard + hard.
Note: Can’t be used often.

How to Deal with Mom: Tactics 15 & 16.

Tactic #15
When your mother is yelling at you, you can:
After covering your ears, scream: “I know!!!” Then run away.
Style: Hard + hard + hard
Note: Must use sparingly!

Tactic #16
When your mother is yelling at you, you can:
Hang your head and remain silent, letting your mom think you are admitting fault.
Style: Normal.

How to Deal with Mom: Tactics 17 & 18.

Tactic #17
After your mother has yelled at you, you can:
Shout that you’re going to run away, take some things, run to the stairs, and run down crying.
Style: Soft.

Tactic #18
When your mother is yelling at you, you can: As your mother is yelling at you, you suddenly say:
Can’t I go to the toilet? This way you can hide in the bathroom.
Style: Sort of hard.
Note: Best used sparingly.

From Baidu Baike:

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2011 December, a “Collection of Tactics for Dealing with Mom” book quickly became famous on microblogs and the internet, the authors being two Beijing 4th grade little girls, inside documenting roughly 20 “dealing with mom” tactics/methods, attracting the attention of the masses of netizens.

As for why her daughter created “Collection of Tactics to Deal with Mom”, the creator’s mother said that one time her daughter had come home with a classmate to do homework after having done poorly on a test. After seeing her score, [the mother] couldn’t help but say something: “Compared to your classmate, don’t you feel embarrassed for bringing this score home?” Upon hearing her mother compare her with her classmate, the daughter was a little angry, and the two little girls got together and immediately decided to “draw a book for children who get scolded!” So, they began planning in the room.

Comments from Sohu Weibo:

贝贝桑:

These little girls are impressive! All children will use these little methods, and for her to sum them up and turn them into a collection is truly thinking beyond her age! Mothers really need to be ready to deal with these.

sop:

This is very practical-minded.

游园惊梦2009:

Fight mothers, fight teachers, fight bosses…hahaha, good!

笨笨119:

Saving it to show my son.

czkala007:

My daughter is also in the fourth grade, so I have a lot of similar experiences.

落叶与海:

I drew similar things when I was small, although it was against teachers.

知我者谓我心之小忧:

As a mother, I like methods #10, 11, 12, 13, 18. When my son uses these, I have no recourse. And those that he hasn’t used, I must show him.

微博新人7193909:

Can’t let my child see this, such as threatening to run away. What if a child who didn’t think of this see this and tries to imitate it?

健康快乐的乖宝贝:

Today my husband specifically asked me if I had seen the “Collection of Tactics to Deal with Mom”. I said I have and he said I shouldn’t yell at our child in the future. These images must not be seen by children.

猫哆哩616:

After comparing, I am covered with a cold sweat. Every method I have experienced before. Sigh. Just how are children these days supposed to be disciplined!? What does a mother that children like look like?

阳光下散步的猫:

Extremely cute kid, I like. Continue on your merry way, I’m awaiting the next 50 tactics/methods. Hehe.

兰色星空5719:

Haha, too cute!! Children these days are so smart!

也无所谓:

There are a lot of things adult don’t understand in a child’s world. Either way, I sure can’t outspeak my daughter who just turned 11 years old.

What do you think? What were your favorite ways of responding to your parents when they were angry with you?

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Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.

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