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“If The United States Attacked China, I Would Surrender”

Captain America The First Avenger

Captain America: The First Avenger.

The following is a famous post allegedly written by someone from China’s prestigious Peking University that has circulated on the Chinese internet many times before, regularly reappearing every so often.

On Tiexue, ChinaRen, Tianya, & KDS:

Famous Beida [Beijing/Peking University] Post: If the American military were to attack China, I would surrender to them

If the United States of America were to attack China, I would just run with my girlfriend to her home. My girlfriend’s home is in the mountains, and there is nothing of value there, but there is food and water. This way, America will never send its Tomahawk guided missiles there. Then our entire family will be guaranteed to be out of harm’s way.

As long as we’re not hit by a Tomahawk missile, there won’t be much to be afraid of. I know now from watching television that the American military is not like the Japanese military in the past. They won’t burn, kill, and rape, no Three Alls Policy. During the Korean War, why did the Chinese fight America so desperately? It was because at the time, the government had propaganda that seriously vilified America, and the people at the time all thought that if America captured China, the things they would do would be even worse than what Little Japan did. This was the misunderstanding of a Chinese people who did not understand America at the time. On the contrary, America’s military was doing its best to avoid hurting innocent people, giving food and water, saving the dying and healing the injured, better than China’s “government forces”. So what is there to be afraid of. Just sit at home and wait for America to defeat China.

For this country, it doesn’t matter who is the government. Because I have always been a docile citizen [someone who readily submits to invaders or new regimes], having been one for decades now, it is all the same who I am a docile citizen for. Besides, being a docile citizen for America or an “American puppet government” might mean my life will be a bit better. Aren’t the common people of Afghanistan doing much better than when they were under the Taliban?

If the government isn’t willing to let me go, insisting on giving me a gun and forcing me onto the battlefield, then of course I can only grit my teeth and go. However, I will definitely not go be a hero, like being a “suicide bomber” or anything. Even if they gave me 300 or 400 thousand American dollars, I would not go do it. I will just roar with the crowd. When everyone is charging forth, I will run along. When everyone is retreating, I will lead the way. I imagine when the time comes where someone like me is needed to go on the battlefield, the country will already almost be done for, and the military would collapse on the battlefield. Nor will I follow everyone into the mountains to fight a guerrilla war. I will raise my hands and surrender to the American army, and open the path for them.

There’s nothing bad about being a prisoner of war. In the prison camps, there is food, clothes, safety, and most importantly, you can survive. Stay alive and then be a docile citizen. Besides, I have a wife and kids at home, so for me, they are a hundred times more important than some country or nation.

There will definitely be many patriots cursing me as a Chinese traitor, but go ahead, I don’t care, because this country has nothing to do with me. I am just a small, lowly docile citizen, something I am certain of from the bottom of my heart. After decades, I have seen through this government, and I am no longer that 20-something young patriot I used to be.

In the past, I too did not know this. When I was a student, I too was like the anti-American people on the internet these days, a hot-blooded youth. Back then, my schoolmates and I thought of ourselves as the country’s pillar, that we should devote our lives to the country, and because of this, was so presumptuous as to make demands of our master, not expecting that the moment I said to the master: “Master, your clothes are a little dirty,” I was immediately slapped two times across the face and my mouth stuffed with stinking horse shit. From that moment on, I suddenly woke up, and realized just exactly what I actually was.

Turns out, I am just meant to be a docile citizen, and the matters of the country actually have nothing to do with me. So why should I care for something that doesn’t care for me? From that moment on, I became honest and wholeheartedly embraced being a docile citizen. I don’t care who my master is. Whoever wants to be my master, I will be their docile citizen.

However, docile citizens still have a docile citizen’s principle. The principle of docile citizens is: Only sell our dignity, but not our lives. If the master does not treat me as a person, I won’t treat myself as a person either. Human rights and the like, I have never been interested in.

But if the master tells me to give up my life for him, I will resolutely refuse. My life is my own, not something given by the master.

The master normally does not treat me as a person, only having me be totally subservient, not allowed to say what I want or do what I want. But when the day comes when the country is no longer stable, when the government is in trouble, and it wants to treat me as a person, asking me to do my duty, at that time I will apologize and say to the master: “What were you doing before? Now, I’m sorry, but old me no longer waits on you.”

Therefore, I will surrender to the American military! And open the path for them!

American soldiers.

Comments from KDS: (no longer available)

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黑夜之瞳:

The last time I saw this post, the starting fare for taxis was still 10 yuan

[It is now 12 RMB, so this just means this post is old and has circulated on the Chinese internet before.]

椒盐电风扇:

Although the writing style is humorous, reading between the lines reveals an extreme dissatisfaction with the **

赵公明:

Actually, it just says what everyone thinks in their hearts.

德谟克拉西:

If the Japanese army comes, I will run. If the American army comes, I will open the path for them. If the Kuomingtang army comes, I will join them. If the Communist government comes, I will poison them.

狼狼阿狗:

I firmly believe that as long as the leadership is around, we won’t be able to be Chinese traitors.

[This means that the leaders will betray the country first.]

另壺蔥:

That he doesn’t love the party I won’t talk about, but he no longer has the most basic love for his country…human flesh search him out and kill him.

乌鸦:

The line for this [surrendering to America] will be even worse than the World Expo.

[Note that the original Chinese is written as “SB会”. There is a double meaning here. First, it refers to the 世博会, shi bo hui, World Expo. The second meaning is “the Sha Bi Expo” or “stupid cunt expo”, a joke amongst many Shanghainese for the “stupid” people who attended the 2010 World Expo.]

Your freedom has been a lie. We are here to help.

Red Dawn 2011 propaganda posters.

Chinese/American Friendship Center.

Comments from Tiexue:

shengdouxiaomin:

[Repost] Harvard student’s shocking reply post to Beida: The moment the war begins, the ones who should surrender would be us Americans

Recently, your humble servant saw a post titled “Famous Beida Post Attracts Condemnation: If the American military were to attack China, I would surrender to them” on a website in your country. Your humble servant felt an incomparable shock. As a Harvard University economics student, I simply cannot understand the fellow student who wrote this post. He is a class example of someone who doesn’t know how fortunate he is.

I feel that what this fellow student said is extremely correct, except he has the sides wrong. It should be that if China were to attack the United States of America, I would surrender to them.

First, I want to analyze this in therms of economics. The reason why my country is rich and comfortable is inseparable from your country providing cheap low-cost goods. The news says that your country’s own citizens are ingesting Sudan Red, melamine, and drainage oil while shipping the high-quality goods to my country. What kind of internationalist spirit is this? If a war really erupted, our country would necessarily experience skyrocketing prices/inflation. Also, our citizen’s ability to resist/endure stress is far less than your country so if prices skyrocket, we wouldn’t be able to stay calm/stable. At that time, our military would collapse like a landslide. So, I definitely would surrender.

Second, when considering this militarily, though my country has advanced weaponry, we are over-reliant on technology. When I went to China, I personally witnessed chengguan forcibly demolishing buildings. What a display of cruel and ruthless power~~~~~. I was floored by fright at the time, thinking that if they could treat their own people like this, imagine how they would treat foreign enemies? What more, they weren’t even the formal military, so how could I dare underestimate the regular military? So, I must surrender.

Third, the news says your country’s citizens treat my country’s citizens with great respect, that the moment our country’s failures or unsuccessful people arrive in your country, they immediately become “distinguished guests”, and that many beautiful women throw themselves at them. Such a beautiful thing is unimaginable in America. When our president only had an extramarital affair, it was immediately ferreted out by the media, and he was utterly discredited/publicly ruined. But in your country, having multiple concubines/mistresses seems to be normal.

Fourth, my country’s laws are too strict. Any little thing and even the president needs to be punished. But in your country, the news says as long as you are an official or have money, even if you accidentally kill someone, you can still keep it quiet/avoid trouble.

Fifth, I already know from television that in your country, as long as you go along with the government, the amount of wealth you can enjoy is endless. Google did not obey the government, so it lost a large chunk of fatty meat [money, benefits], such a foolish move. If I graduate and work on Wall Street or become an average government official, my annual salary would just be several hundred thousand US dollars. Converted to your country’s currency, that’s just several million [RMB]. However, the news says that in your country, the head of a county alone could have nearly a hundred million in assets, which converted is nearly a tens of millions of US dollars!! What more, he has a residence that is comparable to the White House. So, after I surrender, as long as the government gives me a state and I then obey the government as a state governor, I will never have to worry about food and clothing [material needs] ever again.

In conclusion, I will surrender to China, and open the path for the Red Army!

野蛮敢死队:

All I want to say is that I will not personally watch my own people be enslaved, I will find whatever way I can to launch the nuclear weapons, so that the Chinese nation will die standing up rather than survive on its knees. When the time comes, the Chinese nation shall die with dignity! I want to make it so that those who would be Chinese traitors wouldn’t even have the chance.

tx2327:

The person who wrote this essay [at the top] is inherently a person meant to be a slave, and a hopeless spineless person at that. This kind of person is the kind of person that wouldn’t even dare fart [say anything] if you were to bed his wife right in front of him.

方兴:

That someone from Beida [Peking University] wrote this kind of thing is not strange. If someone from Tsinghua [University] wrote it, it would be normal too. In fact, any Beijing person writing this would be normal; because they do not need to believe what others say, and only need to see what they themselves can see.
Don’t look at it from the beginning, the beginning is all fake, only the last two sentences are on topic.
I am not a Party member, I won’t go forth, so whoever wants to go, they can go, it is none of my business!
Students sit down, let the leaders go first.

huyingjian122311:

When some governments suppress their ordinary common people, they use water cannons. However during a student movement, the ZF instead used tanks and machine guns to strike down the ordinary common people.

天马68:

I agree with the poster’s views. After so many years, what material benefits have the ordinary common people gotten?? It’s just a new “three big mountains” [imperialism, feudalism, and bureaucracy]. Housing reform, education, all of them are still about money. The country is now all controlled by interest groups, so have the ordinary common people truly enjoyed any results of the reforms?? What kind of ideology is this?? As long as the ordinary common people can live a good life, that is more important/better than anything.

老狼王中王:

I am 44-years-old this year, my family situation is harmonious, and my professional career has developed smoothly. How others see me —- virtuous wife, filial son, car owner, house owner, with savings. My life —- Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! However, I understand one principle, that my beautiful and satisfying life is inseparable from the country’s stability. Therefore, the things I am about to say are not just inspirational words but are truly from my heart: If the country is in trouble, I will join with everyone else and stand forth, not hesitating to give my blood and life! As that old saying goes: Without your country, how could you have a home? If the country is unstable, how could individuals live and work in peace and contentment?

qiangmi:

Look. Doesn’t Japan often have news report about girls being raped by American troops stationed there?? This also clearly shows that the person who wrote this essay is a pig-head [idiot]… Those are just garrisoned troops and this kind of thing [rape] happens. And if they were invading this country? Could rape and pillaging be avoided??? And you talk about [the American military] safeguarding the ordinary common people’s safety. Look at Afghanistan and Iraq, is there any shortage of ordinary common people [civilians] who have been accidentally blown up and killed?? Those beasts of burden will be too busy looking out for their own lives to care if the locals live or die~~~~~

Chris Evans as Captain America.

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Docile citizens or slaves. Personals @ chinaSMACK.

Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.

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