In Celebration of Children’s Day and Kids in China

Dear son, I’m really sorry, your dad hasn’t yet got your mom, so please wait a little longer, and I wish you a happy Children’s Day in advance.

Crayon Shin-Chan

The current situation: Elementary school students celebrate Valentine’s Day, middle school students celebrate Singles Day, and the rest of us are freaking celebrating Children’s Day.


“Legal age for marriage in countries around the world”: Iran–9 years old; Netherlands–12 years old; Russia–14 years old; France–15 years old; The The Philippines–16 years old; Korea–18 years old for males, 16 years old for females; Brazil–16 years old; Mainland China–22 years old for males, 20 years old for females; Hong Kong–16 years old; Taiwan–16 years old. When others are already old couples, we’re still having puppy love.


When I was little, I used to struggle: When I grow up, should I go to Tsinghua University or Peking University? It was only after I grew up that I realized realized: I had really worried too much.

childhood concern

One evening, my daughter and I were watching TV in the living room and my husband was surfing the Internet in the study. I felt a little thirsty but didn’t want to move, so I said, “Lao gong [husband, dear], go grab a coke for me.” My husband came out of the study, got me a coke, and then he went back to the study. At this time, our five-year-old daughter also called out, “Daddy, I want one too.” My husband replied impatiently, “Get it yourself!” My daughter thought for a moment, and then called out again, “Lao gong, I want one too.”


Kids who look like celebrities…

Little Chen Guanxi/Edison Chen
Little Chen Guanxi/Edison Chen
little Zhou Xun
Little Zhou Xun
little Zhou Jielun/Jay Chou
Little Zhou Jielun/Jay Chou
little Wang Baoqiang
Little Wang Baoqiang
Little Su Xing
Little Su Xing
Little Peng Yuyan
Little Peng Yuyan
Little Li Yuchun
Little Li Yuchun (aka
little Zhao Wei
Little Zhao Wei

The elementary school students in the past sucked at fighting!!!!


One day, my little brother went to an elementary school to play basketball and overheard a little girl in a lower grade ask a boy also in a lower grade, “Do you love me or not?” That boy answered helplessly, “My mom gives me three yuan every day, and 2.5 yuan of that is already given to you to buy snacks, so you tell me if I love you or not!!!”

girl and boy

I was watching a TV variety show. The host asked a cute little boy who just sang “Song of Good Fellows” [by Liu Huan, see below]: “Who is your favorite character in Water Margin?” Answer: Wu Song! The host asked, “Why? Is it because Wu Song is the bravest one?” Before he could finish, the cute little boy answered in a HLL way, “Because he has a beautiful sister-in-law!” Dumbfounded.

What’s mine looks like me.”

girl and potato

READ  'School Fun' (I)

Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

  • zimon

    Loll the last one is very cute !

    • D. Tective

      Cute, but made up.

  • Jarhead

    “My mom gives me three yuan every day, and 2.5 yuan of that is already given to you to buy snacks, so you tell me if I love you or not!!!”

    Awesome answer…I must learn alot from you kid..

    • donscarletti

      In China, the amount you love her depends on the the amount you give her relative to your total income. However the amount she loves you depends on the absolute amount.

      Also, thirty-something Zhao Wei is actually cuter than the little girl who looks like her, not to mention being a far less morally questionable target to lust over (Kyokujitsu-couture aside). Which is good, because according to experts, I am a degenerate for noticing her more than Lin Zhiling in Red Cliff (LZL is usually far hotter than ZW, but in that movie her prime assets were hidden better than a wall street divorcee).

      Finally, Liu Huan is cool, even though he can’t sing. The fact that he would get laid three times as much if he cut his hair and wore a suit pisses me off. China’s fucked like that.

      • Dr SUN



      • zimon

        Fortunately it is not the norm, though I have to admit that in many cases is true.

      • qiao

        just because liuhuan does what seems different doesn’t give people to criticize him, and he CAN sing =^= neither liuhuan nor china is for you to judge

      • anon

        This money things seems universal with many Chinese elsewhere… but traditions and expectations are fading….

  • dim mak

    Get off my lawn you damn kids

    • DeVitaVackra

      I’d be cautious speaking aloud around kids these days, they’ll slaughter you with smartass rebuttals.

      • Dr SUN

        LOL, and make your life a miserly for ever , especially if you have a girl.

  • Hongjian

    Too low, too slow, too weak and too meek, but on the same time, they demand everything and know no respect to their superiors despite being useless little shits.

    This is what our children are today.

    Back then in better times, we made them proud warriors, made them hate the enemy people in their very existence, and made them strong, which also made the nation and country strong. But liberalism destroyed everything. Even in China.

    This is what I would let my children watch and learn, because despite being an anti-hate-propaganda, it is sophisticated, well made hate propaganda by itself. Only directed to the other side. Happy Children’s Day, you little maggots.

  • Anus Presley
    • Dr SUN

      My guess is the boy has either a “metabolic problem” or the parents just feed him up to keep him quite.

  • Notorious


  • Lupat

    Obviously never got a video game system on Christmas