,

Leather Shoes, Childhood, and Awkward Moments

On April 9th, Chinese state broadcaster China Central Television (CCTV) news anchor Zhao Pu publicly warned people not to eat frozen yogurt or jelly through his Sina Weibo microblog, alleging that they were unsafe due to being made with industrial gelatin itself made from discarded leather shoes.

Zhao Pu, a CCTV host, warned people on Monday through his Weibo not to eat frozen yogurt or jelly
Zhao Pu's Weibo: "Forwarding a text message from a research reporter. Comrades (folks), stop eating old yoghurt (frozen) and jelly, especially children. The inside story is very scary, can't go into details."

For this, he was suspended by CCTV.

Three days later, on April 12th, Chinese state news agency Xinhua reported the “Leather Shoes Scandal” involving medical drug capsules containing excessive levels of the heavy metal chromium because they were made with industrial gelatin made from discarded leather shoes.

Some reactions on popular Chinese microblogging platform Sina Weibo…

@福建金玉贸易张晋

Want to eat jelly? Lick your leather shoes. Want to eat frozen yogurt? Lick your leather shoes. Got a cold and need to take some medicine? Again, lick your leather shoes. They can be worn in the clean living room, and they are suitable for the filthy kitchen. They can be used to climb high mountains, and they are applicable for trudging the pond. They can be used for producing yogurt, and they can be compressed to make capsules. 2012, leather shoes are very busy!

@何志华kuailechizi

Lick leather shoes, cure your cold! Good taste, with good curative effect!

@小扁少爺

Once upon a time, there were a pair of leather shoes, which were in love with each other. But one day, they were separated. One became yogurt, and one became a medicine capsule, the two of them thinking they would never be together again… Who knew that they would meet again in a stomach, and end up in the shit together.

And now, some less alarming jokes and humor…

Let me share a photo of me when I was small and got first place in a race…very cute, right?

childhood photo
"Childhood photo"

When I was little, the scariest dream was dreaming about looking for a restroom, and the absolute most frightening thing was to find that restroom before waking up…

childhood dream

When I was little, my parents would use profanity and then say they were speaking English. I’ll never forget my first day at school when the teacher asked: “Who can speak English?”

jiong/embarrassed

Grandpa KFC [Colonel Sanders] finally found his long-lost wife in China!

Grandpa KFC and his Chinese wife

“May all the lovebirds in the whole world be long-lost siblings!!! From someone who’s still single.

jealous single

“I miss you.” “Yeah…so do I.” “Is your wife asleep?” “Yeah…” “Mine too.”

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter

Yesterday a guy was crying on the phone downstairs in our dorm building, crying and screaming, “You lied to me. You don’t love me at all. Why did you lie to me?” Then, then I heard him say in anguish, “You were with me only because you wanted me to run for you in the men’s 100m race!”

good gay friends

[Note: The above is a netizen parody of the Chinese cartoon characters and Haier brand mascots 海尔兄弟 “Haier Brothers” as “good gay friends“. You can watch their cartoons here.]

Is your wife asleep? Personals @ chinaSMACK.

READ  Japanese AV Star Sora Aoi & Qinghai Earthquake Donations

Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading…