I came home at midnight. Standing in front of the hallway, I felt it was very dark. So from the depths of my body, I bellowed: “Let there be light!” And just like that, all the voice-activated lights turned on!
I went to the bank to deposit exactly 50,000 RMB for my company. The bank said, “An ID is needed for depositing 50,000 RMB and above.” I checked my pockets only to find that I didn’t bring my ID. Me: “I forgot to bring it, please bend the rules for me this time! I’m depositing this for my company!” The bank: “No! This is a rule! You must have your ID to deposit 50,000 RMB and above!” Me: “Uh…alright then, give me 10 cents back as change.” The bank: “…”
Student Chen of the class of 2016, with neither SAT nor TOEFL scores and blind in both eyes, but with a strong body, he vigorously applied. Even though he was long past the deadline, he nonetheless was able to get both an offer and financial aid from NYU in less than 24 hours after he applied. The intermediary that made this miracle happen was the U.S. Embassy.
A real estate ad in the city of Nanning: “The down payment? As low as the cost of buying two bags across the street.” [see actual image below]
An expatriate neighbour knocked on my friend’s door last night asking for help: “Something’s wrong with my TV set, I can’t switch the channels.” My friend checked his watch and said, “Everything will be fine after 7:30.”
Last time we bought a computer server, there was a lot of bubble wrap in the box for cushioning/protection. I took a look–Oh fuck, Made in Canada! So my colleague and I took turns popping them open to breathe the air in them.
On the Winter Solstice, my wedding anniversary, finally I understand why my husband chose this day to marry me, because the night on the Winter Solstice is the longest of the year.
I want a girlfriend like this: When we walk on the street, every passer-by that we run into will say behind our back, “Fuck! What does she see in that guy?”
The subtitles disappeared when I was half way through the movie. The screen said, “I don’t know French, I made up all of the previous subtitles, and I can’t go on anymore…”
The most loyal thing in this world is homework. No matter how much you ignore it, it still won’t abandon or or give up on you.