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‘Little Brats’

Cute Asian 'little brat'.

Cute Asian 'little brat'.

熊孩子

[xióng hái zi]
noun.
An annoying kid, a little brat. Originating from dialects in northeastern China, Shandong, and Henan, this internet meme is sometimes used with affection to refer to a naughty or silly child.

#U.S. Imperialist Little Brats# Little Children Brainstorm Ideas for the U.S. to Repay Its Debts, Suggests “Kill Everyone in China” — Recently, The Chicken Feather Show [a nickname for the Jimmy Kimmel Show, as 鸡毛 jī máo sounds like “Kimmel”] invited a group of children to have a “Kids’ Table” discussion panel and let them express their opinions on the government’s shutdown. When asked “the U.S. owes China 1.3 trillion dollars, how should we pay them back”, a little brat surprisingly remarked, “We should go all the way to the other side of the planet and kill everyone in China.” | Video: Jimmy Chicken Feather Show, Kids Table Discussion Gives Ideas on How U.S. Can Repay Debts translated by @铁手Desperado

[Note: At time of translation, ABC and Jimmy Kimmel have already apologized to Chinese-American protesters for the kid’s controversial comment.]

I won’t tell you that our residential community has a team of Avengers.
I won’t tell you that seven or eight little brats are wearing their underwear on the outside safeguarding peace in the universe either.
I won’t tell you that among them is a Superman in a T-thong even less.
Okay, okay, now T-thong Superman is grounded in the bathroom forced to stand facing the wall. Superman’s mom is considering whether they should move, while Superman’s dad is posting on Qiubai [Qiushi Baike, The Encyclopedia of Embarrassment, a popular Chinese internet forum for posting jokes or embarrassing incidents].

Today I overheard a conversation between my neighbor and his son. Little brat: Dad, when I get rich in the future, I will buy a plane to take you to work every day. Neighbor: …CNMD [ancronym for 操你妈的 [cào nǐ mā de] “fuck your mom’s”, curse word] you can afford a plane, and you TM still let me work? I immediately LOL’d. Absolutely a true story.

A friend is a middle school teacher and just posted two pictures that cracked me up. A little brat at their school in the ninth grade joined the teachers’ [online chat] group by mistake, then… If you don’t court death, then you won’t die [popular internet expression].

Online chatting records

I am an elementary school teacher. Today I saw a kid pick up something from the ground and eat it so I went forward to stop and admonish: Don’t eat things you find off the ground; it’s not sanitary. But the kid gave me a straightforward and good-natured response… Teacher, my Chinese zodiac sign is the dog, so it’s okay. (ㄒoㄒ)(ㄒoㄒ) I was instantly stupefied…

[Let me] tell a story about my naughty 5-year-old… This afternoon when I went to his kindergarten to pick him up after school, he kept mumbling to me about how tired he was. I said: What did you do today? That little brat said something that made me almost spit blood, “After I finished arguing with the teacher, I had to then argue with the children, so how could I not be tired!” Should I give him a beating or should I give him a beating?

Met a little brat? Let me teach you a trick.

Wall doodles.

Saw this while shopping, got the impression that laowai are so qipa [unbelievable, strange]. This little brat didn’t want to walk anymore so he clung to his dad’s leg and his dad just dragged him like that for over 50 meters.

Foreign little brat.

I have a 3-year-old little brat at home and after picking him up from school yesterday, he began crying for no reason and wouldn’t stop. I ignored him and went on to do housework. This little brat cried for two hours and then by himself got a bowl and came to came to me saying: Mommy, I’ve cried enough. I want to drink water.

Just now, several grandmas with a group of little kids were playing right by my window. It was terribly noisy! So I quietly opened my F: drive, turned the volume up to max, and soon those little brats were taken away.

[Note: The above description will be familiar to many–especially male–Chinese netizens. In China, many children are watched by grandparents during the day while their parents work, and children playing together can be noisy for neighbors living in high-density residential complexes/communities. Computer hard drives are commonly partitioned into multiple drives by computer users in China, and non-C: drives are often used for saving certain files or documents, such as downloaded porn films.]

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Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.