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National Day Holiday, Faith in Love & Dialects

baby girl dressed up like Chang'e

Have you really decided to go on a trip during the October 1st [China’s National Day] holiday? People People People People People People People People People People People People People Scenic Area People People People People People People People People People People People People People People People People!

National Day Vacation

On October 1st [National Day] the most romantic thing I can think of, is staying at home with you and watching the traffic jams in different places.

national day traffic jam

nightime

traffic jams on Guangshen Highway

people making phone calls during national day traffic jams

a woman crouches during national day traffic jams

a guy kicks shuttlecokc during national day traffic jams

people waiting outside the cars during national day traffic jams

a woman waiting outside the car during national day traffic jams

people walking dogs during national day traffic jams

a man waiting outside the car during national day traffic jams

traffic jams during national day holiday

a guy does push-ups during national day traffic jams at night

people doing exercises during nationald ay traffic jams

Those who stay home during the National Day holiday are all good people: [because they] don’t add obstacles to traffic, they don’t add chaos to tourist sites, and even more don’t take advantage of the country.

[Note: The part “don’t take advantage of the country” is related to the September 5th announcement by the Chinese Ministry of Transport that toll fees nationwide for small passenger vehicles on highways and expressways will be waived during the Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day holiday period. The toll-free holiday period lasted from September 30 to October 7.]

crowds at tourist sites during the national day holiday 01

crowds at tourist sites during the national day holiday 02

crowds at tourist sites during the national day holiday 03

crowds at tourist sites during the national day holiday 04

crowds at tourist sites during the national day holiday 05

crowds at tourist sites during the national day holiday 06

crowds at tourist sites during the national day holiday 07

My silly wife’s masterpiece…

baby girl dressed up like Chang'e

[Note: The above picture is based on the story of “Goddess Chang’e Flying to the Moon. ]

A family of three buying a computer…I once again have faith in love…

married monk and nun and their kid

[Note: “I have/lost faith in love” is a popular saying widely used by Chinese netizens to comment on dating & relationships, often in reference to celebrity marriages and breakups. For example, Nicholas Tse (Xie Tingfeng) and Cecilia Cheung‘s (Zhang Bozhi) divorce made many netizens lament about losing faith in love.]

When even a monk and nun get divorced, I’ll never have faith in love ever again~

a Taiwanese monk divorces his nun wife
The TV news headline reads: In Zhanghua (Taiwan), a monk and a nun filed for divorce. People present were surprised.

“Young lady, what do you look for in your ideal husband?” Young lady: “I wish he’s ‘long’ and has ‘endurance’.” “But young lady, this thing has hardly ever happened since antiquity.”

Prelude to Water Melody by Su Shi

[Note: This joke is adapted from Su Shi’s “Prelude to ‘Water Melody”. The girl’s answer “I just hope he’s ‘long’ and has ‘endurance'” twists the meaning of the word 长久 (cháng jiǔ) in the original line 但愿人长久 “I only pray our life be long”: 长 means long, while 久 means lasting for a long time. “This thing has hardly ever happened since antiquity” originally refers to the difficulty of achieving perfection, because “[t]he moon does wax, the moon does wane, and so men meet and say goodbye”.]

My classmate asked me, “How do you say ‘crab’ in your Wenling’s [a city in Zhejiang Province] dialect?” I answered, “Ha.” She repeated, “How do you say ‘crab’ in your hometown dialect?” I answered, “Ha.” Exasperated, “… Then how do you say ‘fish’ in your dialect?” I: “En?” (a nasal sound) She said, “I’m asking about ‘fish’ in your dialect, how is it said?” Me, “En?” … then she didn’t want to talk to me anymore…

Wenling landmark mountain
Wulong (Five Dragons) Mountain, Wenling, Zhejiang

[Note: This is a pun joke. “Crab” is pronounced “ha” in the Wenling dialect, but ha” is also commonly a response when one is confused or failed to hear someone else clearly, similar to “what?” or even “pardon me?” in English.]

My classmate asked me, “How do you say ‘duck’ in the Fuzhou [the capital city of Fujian Province] dialect?” I answered, “Ah.” The classmate repeated the question, “How do you say ‘duck’ in the Fuzhou dialect?” I said, “Ah.” The classmate asked exasperatedly, “Then how do you say ‘crab’ in the Fuzhou dialect?” I said, “Qie.” Speechless, the classmate finally asked, “Then how do you say ‘shrimp’ in the Fuzhou dialect?” I said, “Ha.” I never saw this classmate ever again.

Fuzhou Cuisine-Fish Balls
Fuzhou Cuisine-Fish Balls

[Note: Another dialect and pun joke similar to the previous joke. “Qie” is often a sound that indicates scorn, disdain, disbelief, annoyance but here was how “crab” is pronounced in the Fuzhou dialect.]

I’ve always thought the most sacred job at school is arranging where students dorm, because without even knowing, they’ve determined for many students who their best friends will be this life.

gangsters

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Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

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