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‘School Fun’ (I)

Poet Du Fu in a suit.

The government says we should go to school as usual on April 1st… Don’t be fooled… don’t be fooled… don’t…

Poet Du Fu in suit

A person was tricked into joining a pyramid scheme, but during class he would be asleep, during meals awake–even eating more than everyone else–and would also flirt with the female classmates, and was ultimately expelled.

happy bear

A teacher said to the high school seniors, “College Entrance Exams are coming. Those already in relationships, don’t get in a fight, to avoid being sad. Those who aren’t yet in relationships, don’t confess your love, to avoid being rejected and then sad…”

sad

A student sleeps in class. The teacher yells and wakes him, asking: “Why are you sleeping in class?” “I feel unbearable.” “Oh, are you sick?” “No, I feel unbearably sleepy…”

James Franco sleeping in class

Amazing! In high school history textbooks, Emperor Qin Shi Huang, Emperor Guangwu of Han, Zhuge Liang, Emperor Xuanzong of Tang, Yan Zhenqing…turns out they’re all the same person!

Historical figures in History textbooks

May those who have studied a lot but keep saying they’re going to fail have their predictions come true.

sinister smile

The teacher’ favorite question during tests and when writing on the board–“Why do I hear people talking?” Answer: Because you have ears?

Why am I hearing people talking?

Men are like the food in the school dining hall. Though lousy, there’s still none left if you’re late!

sigh

China’s situation is this: A lot of parents don’t allow students to date, and even when they’re already in college, still many parents forbid dating. But the moment they graduate from college, all the parents hope a Mr. Perfect–and especially one who already owns an apartment–will fall from the heavens and fall in love and marry their daughters. Wishful thinking. —Han Han

Han Han and his wife Jin Lihua

Eyes sore? Let’s do some eye exercises then (After you’re done, say “I’m niubi“): (→_→) (↑_↑) (←_←) (↓_↓) (→_←) (↑_↓) (↓_↑) (←_→)

Just kidding. Here’s China’s latest official eye exercises instructional video:

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Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

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