Shanghai Man Lands On Lover, Survives Suicide Jump

From NetEase:

Unable to endure public disgrace, middle-aged man clutches his “nubile lover” and attempts suicide

At 4pm in the afternoon of January 3rd, in a residential area near Changning road in Shanghai a 50-year-old man jumped from the sixth floor, landing on a bed of flowers below, and was knocked unconscious. This reporter made his way to the scene, and found out that the jumper had been sent to hospital. Residents later said: as the man in question jumped he was holding a young girl, and after impacting with the ground she was squashed under him, which is why he wasn’t killed.

Eyewitnesses: the girl exploded under his weight

According to eyewitnesses: “Upon seeing that man clutching that woman while jumping, I thought it was a tragic double suicide. When they landed I heard a loud bang, which sounded like an exploding tyre”, “I went closer and saw a man of approximately 50-years-old laying on the ground, but couldn’t see the girl who he’d jumped with at all. All I could see was some woman’s hair and a pile of clothes, it scared me to death”, “As for what woman, well, it was a dressed up inflatable doll, the kind of fake woman made specially for men to play with, go figure.”

Neighborhood residents: we understand why old Yang would want to play with an inflatable doll

Neighborhood residents revealed: the man in question is surnamed Yang, and is an old neighbor. He has been a widower for some years, his only son studies overseas, and in recent years has always been alone. His neighbors said that whenever they’d see him he’d always be smiling, but didn’t enjoy conversation, and had it not been for today’s accident, they wouldn’t have imagined that he had suicidal tendencies.

When this reporter asked about old Yang playing with an inflatable doll, most neighbors expressed their understanding. “It’s not easy, living for so many years, raising a child”, “I think that playing with something like that isn’t a bad thing, better that than going and doing something not so clean.” “Old Yang wouldn’t be a bad catch, I’d tell him to find another [partner], but he wouldn’t listen, he might have some issues”. His neighbors said that this incident wouldn’t influence their good opinion of old Yang, and in the future will try to have more neighborly communication [with him].

Reason for jumping: he had no one to talk to, life was too lonely

Upon arriving at the hospital, doctors said that the man involved did not have life threatening injuries, and had only broken two ribs and sustained light external injuries, and would be released after ten days’ observation.

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By the time his interview began, old Yang’s mood had stabilised, and by just listening to him one would have never guessed that he had tried to kill himself not long before. When asked about why he chose suicide, old Yang said that he usually was alone, and that his life was too lonely. Now that his child is an adult and had his own life, he was only getting older and older, and didn’t want to become a burden to his child. When the topic of the smashed doll was brought up, old Yang was a little embarrassed, saying that ever since his child had gone overseas to study he has had no one to keep him company, and had no alternative but to buy an inflatable sex doll. Recently there have been many people online who denounce those tho play with such inflatable dolls as BT, but since he himself plays with one often, these words hurt him deeply, which is why he chose suicide.

Old Yang said: This time I wanted to die but didn’t, instead I’ve become a huge joke.  Now I won’t be able to even see people. But upon hearing his neighbors’ opinions, old Yang gradually calmed down, and said that he wouldn’t do such a stupid thing ever again.

Comments from NetEase:

新月-:

You shouldn’t think too much.

nkwq:

When I first saw the photo of the exploded blow-up doll I felt like throwing up.

nienio:

After reading I felt a bit a bit sad, “I think that playing with something like that isn’t a bad thing, better that than going and doing something not so clean” I think this is quite correct.

newkq:

Everyone has the right to be happy, everyone’s definition of happiness isn’t the same, when laughing at others you should think about what you’re like.

三拐两拐:

Having a blow up doll in the house is a good idea.
When you’ve got nothing to do you can hold it in bed and have some fun.
When something’s wrong you can hold it in your arms and jump out of a window without dying.

bobo9801:

The quality of blowup dolls are so great, you can play with them and they can even save your life!

qwere523:

Actually there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s us who aren’t open minded. Entertainment for body and mind, nice one.

我今年十八岁:

Where do you get one of those?

个忧:

This is why we should support the opening up of the porn/sex industry.

Cures loneliness, but probably won’t save your life. chinaSMACK personals.

Written by maxiewawa

Native English speaker who'd like to make a living from translating some day. Until then continuing to teach English.

  • Papito

    I wonder if he would have survived it had he used Roxxxy

  • 水溶C100

    I think I’ll make that my desktop picture…. BT much?

  • 250

    How unpatriotic!!! Are ‘Chinese’ inflatable dolls not good enough for this brother!

    Seriously though why did he dress it up? Why did he jump out with it? It’s so surreal i don’t know whether to laugh or jump out of my window with my own inflatable friend.

  • Oh, so bad. Where the hell is his son? He grown up and having his own life, but not looking after his father. Bastard…

    • bleah

      How’s your dad doing?

  • LAOWAIXIAN

    HI I AM BAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

    WELL, the worst thing is to realize that you are so useless to the point of not succeding in taking your own life.

    • Tins of sardines

      Is that why you are still here?

  • time

    I at first thought it was like a real woman (person), im like ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

    • bleah

      Just as intended.

  • gg

    His name is Robert Black, he writes really crap books and hangs out on the beijinger.

    • Rick in China

      HAHA! You, sir, are +worthy.

  • pancho

    ahahahaha
    wow that really made my day!

  • Canadian

    Human(like) air bag saves life

  • Ryz

    should have done a link roll for 0 dmg

  • meee12333

    i call nonsense.
    chinese girls arent so soft!
    especially shanghai girls.

  • Uncle Smacker

    What brother is fucking is not a doll, but loneliness.

  • China is turning into Japan

    • bleah

      What about Korea?

  • Bitter Expat

    I lol’d.

    I’m glad he is okay.

  • Girlyman

    He long wanted to fuck a white woman, a luxury in China, but one was not available, so he turned to a white doll. He got disgusted fucking the white doll every night, so he committd suicide by jumping off the building while his dick was still connected to the pussy. Fortunately upon landing, the doll exploded, but his dick did not.

    • jack butcher

      a white woman is a luxury? you can just buy them a glasso of beer in the bar you can fuck them all the night.

      • ralphrepo

        Given China’s birth demographics, ANY woman is a luxury.

        • Spanky

          Plenty of Eastern European women hanging out on the Bund bars. Don’t know the going rate though.

  • georges

    Now that the doll is broken he can only spank it with a thumb up his ass.

    • Professor Sillypants

      Well – now we know what YOU do.

  • Nagexingqisi

    This would be a great stunt for a show like “Jackass”

    My thoughts are that this guy is the next Bam Margera

  • Chen

    hmm. he wanted to die because of the disgrace of playing with the doll, but the doll save his arse. ironic isn;t it?

  • Girlyman

    A thumb up his ass while spanking the monkey will intensify and multiply his orgasm many times over. He is ingenious to get rid of the doll this way.
    “jackass” is short for Jack Off Ass thumbing artist. LOL

  • 傻子(婊子也行)

    at least he’ll be able to bounce back into life.

  • GFZ

    He needs to learn how to use the internet if he looking for people to talk to.

  • Magnator Straight Ballin

    That is sad and 50 years old isn’t very old this days, look at George Clooney. I wanna be working, doing my stuff and still ballin’ with my friends even by 80 xD.
    I think he should find something to do, go to gym, it’s never too early or too late to go for our dreams and if he thinks finding a woman is hard he should just buy a mail order bride, at least is better than an inflatable woman plus he’ll have someone to talk to.

  • Max

    Nice way to stick the landing. A perfect 10.

  • dim mak

    But why would you jump while holding the inflatable doll..? He dressed it too, lol. If you die, people are going to see you clutching on to it as the last thing you do in life.

    At least save yourself the embarrassment, throw the doll away, then suicide..

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  • 傻子

    it’s like the matrix. everyone messes up the first time.

    load the jump program

  • Jen

    This guy would have been a great choice for the Darwin Award. But I’m glad he survived.

    • bleah

      That was a suicide attempt, it wasn’t his stupidity that killed him, so no.

  • VeerLeft

    Should arrange a cage match between him and Shaanxi-Virgin-Nerd-Porn-Squealer Boy.
    My bet is OLDMAN by resiliency.

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  • TheOtherMichael

    now that his alright, he can go back to his girlfriend and give her that much needed blowjob. lol

  • I guess anyone is entitled to pursuing their own fantasies and dreams so long as they don’t hurt themselves or others along the way.

  • jasonp

    It just means that you should not live out life alone otherwise you will have these tendencies

  • Ming

    Ok, I dont care how many negative I get, but this REALLY is not a guy who tried to commite sucide, but LONILNESS.

  • DavidPaulBuckley

    I hope the doll’s alright

  • GL

    The stronger meaning of this message is depression, not holding a doll and jumping. This man needs a companion and/or something that he can do daily – like volunteering to help others at an elder home or pet shelter or something he likes to do to make himself feel worthwhile to live on. Without family or anyone really caring who he is, life isn’t worth living until he finds a meaning for himself. I hope social welfare will read this article and send someone over to help him move forward with his life. This appears to be one in how many more millions of elder livelihood in this world.

  • Pingback: Shanghai Man Attempts Suicide With His Blow-Up Doll : You Offend Me You Offend My Family()

  • manusan

    We recommend to pump up with helium

  • Joe Banks

    If you live in China as long as I, you would know that this is not that weird.

    China is weird. Not different cultures and misunderstandings but different. Hard to explain if you are not here. Come. Because it is f’ing weird, man!

    Feel sorry for the man losing his wife. If mine died, I might take a header out the window too. However, my balloon like girlfriend would stay behind.

  • drewwang

    Judging by the blond blow-up Betsy, it seems he has a white girl fetish.

    • TheOtherMichael

      judgin from the position of the blonde bombshell..2inch of rockcock is very hard to please and penetrate a white doll lol

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  • PornGary

    H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X H-O-A-X

  • Professor Sillypants

    How closely do you follow these, Fauna? How do you ensure the veracity of these news claims?

  • Poor man. Wonder how his son feels about his dad attempting suicide …

  • Bobby

    I’m 12 and what is this?

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  • fireworks

    poor dude, hope he has some savings to visit some hookers to relief himself.

    Its looking grim for some 30 million men in the future who will not be able to get married. Need to start importing Russian brides.

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  • Pete of Perth

    That’s one fucked blowup doll….

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