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‘The Sibling Effect’

Baby babysitter

It’s been half a month since my younger brother left to join the army and today I suddenly really missed him. Before I knew it, I was in his room, and after looking around, I silently left with his piggy bank…

miss you

The other day my classmate (female) and her little sister were in a restaurant eating. The little sister suddenly raised her head and with a puzzled face asked, “Sis, what does ML mean?” My classmate looked at her with shock, her little sister was only 11 years old, just 11 years old…! What does ML mean? My classmate struggled for a while and then decided to tell her [the truth], and with embarrassment said: “It means ‘make love’.” Her little sister then pointed at the drink box and asked: “Then what does 250ML mean?” My classmate “immediately suffered an internal injury” [was extremely embarrassed]…

One time I was playing poker at home with my little sister and her classmate. It was really quiet when all of a sudden I let out an super loud fart. So awkward, but the two of them said nothing. Wanting to ease the awkwardness, I said, “XX, it’s your turn…” My sister replied, “I can’t fart like that…” I fell to my knees…

The fart in winter must be warm.
A winter’s fart is always warm.

Today my ten-year-old younger brother used our mom’s QQ account and sent me a link to Taobao, for a remote-controlled airplane, and then sent me a message: “Son, your mother [referring to herself] wants to play this, so buy one for mommy [me].” I was fucking stupefied.

LZ is a mei zhi [sister, meaning female]… recently broke up with my boyfriend so I’ve been in the blues. Yesterday, my younger brother comforted me by chatting with me on WeChat… As we were chatting, he became impatient, and said with a voice message: “Sister! Remember! You really aren’t without anything! You really aren’t!” I was super touched… After a while, I received yet another audio message from him: “You still have sickness [you have a problem, meaning something is wrong with her, that she needs to snap out of it]! ……

WeChat

‘Your younger sister’ is a good girl, helping “your mother” bear so much sorrow.

[Note: “你妹” (nǐ mèi) “your younger sister” and “你妈” (nǐ mā) “your mother” are both curse words, whose meaning and usage are as flexible as the English word “fuck”. “Your mother” is adapted from “fuck your mother“, while “your younger sister” is a recent popular deviation of “your mother”. The above basically says the phrase “your sister” is now helping “your mother” in serving the purpose of insulting people.]

your sister
Your [younger] sister!

Ni ma ya, I have to babysit again!

baby babysitter

My sister is a very clever kid. Once when she was in first grade, she only got score of 50-something on a test, so the required that she get a parent signature [on the exam to indicate they saw the grade]. Unbelievably, this girl folded and folded the exam paper until it became a little piece piece, leaving only a small blank space, returned home and took it to my dad: “Daddy, how do you write your name…”

Today my friend told me about how he had his older sister go to the parent-teacher conference [instead of his parents]. The teacher asked: “How is your mom so young [looking]?” He replied: [Because] my dad has skills [to get such a young wife]…

I was just voice chatting with a little brat I don’t know and he used his childish voice to say something that really moved me. He said: “We are both men, ‘we don’t have a common language’ [no shared interests, nothing to talk about], so I’m gonna give you my older sister’s QQ number. Go hit on my sister!

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Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

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