Summer, Historical Literature, & Creative Ads

Warning: Much (but not all) of this week’s jokes and humor post will be a test of your familiarity with Chinese culture, literature, and famous historical figures…

Someone said, “When it comes to great men like Qu Yuan, we should have at least 30 days off in honor of him.” This statement resonated with the bottom of my heart…

Right, it’s getting hotter these days, and supermarkets have begun selling summer sleeping mats, but you really needn’t go this far.

In the past, you had to pry open the swimwear to see the butt; now, you have to pry open the butt to see the swimwear. Now that’s what I call “the three vulgarities” [“low, vulgar, and pandering“]! ——Guo Degang

Summer is here, the season for watermelons to play cute again!!!

The grandfather said to the grandson, “Did you know Jin Yong‘s fourteen novels could be put together to form a poetic couplet? ‘Shooting a white deer, snow flutters around the skies; Smiling, [one] writes about the divine chivalrous one, leaning against bluish lovebirds (or lover).'”

The grandson answered with contempt, “Did you know the first words of the seven books written by J.K. Rowling can be put together to make the sentence: ‘Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha?'”

[Note: The Chinese translation of Harry Potter is 《哈利•波特》 hālì bōtè. The grandson above is referring to the “Ha-” in “Harry” being the first word of the seven books and thus being a pun for laughter.]

I suddenly thought of a very profound question: In the many years after Yang Guo lost his hand, just how did he trim his fingernails?

Every time Duan Yu chased a woman, his father would tell him: [She’s] Your sister!!

[Note: Duan Yu is a fictional character in Jin Yong’s novel Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils who unknowingly chases and falls in love with many of his half-sisters. Now “your sister” is also a popular Chinese curse/expletive.]

Zhan Zhao said to the petitioners, “Don’t worry. Judge Bao is a good judge ‘one can use a lantern and still not find’!”
Judge Bao: Officer Zhan, am I really that black (dark)?”

[Note: There are several parts to this joke. “One can use a lantern and still not find” is a Chinese idiom referring to something’s rarity. Zhan is telling the people who have come with grievances that they can trust the government official Bao as there is figuratively no other official as good and honest as he is. Bao Zheng in return makes a joke asking and quipping about how “black” or “dark” he must be if he literally can’t be found even with a lantern (light). 黑 hēi, black or dark, here can also be interpreted figuratively as “corrupt”, adding another twist to this joke, where Bao is asking Zhan if he is really such a “black” (corrupt) official.]

Sweeter than one’s first love…

An advertisement for a plastic surgery center in Hong Kong——no further explanation necessary, this is the best plastic surgery ad I’ve ever seen!

[Note: This advertisement has been circulating on the Chinese internet attributed to a Hong Kong cosmetic center, probably because of a mistaken post on a popular Hong Kong discussion forum. However, the ad actually originated from and belongs to a plastic surgery clinic in Taiwan.