‘The People’s Republic of Love’, Starring 1.3 Billion People

A Chinese girl sitting on the side of the street holding an umbrella.

Hey everyone…

Some of you might remember me (not pictured above) as a long-time chinaSMACK contributor (see my posts!). I haven’t been around lately and that’s because I’ve been working on this…

About the documentary…

The People’s Republic of Love is a new full-length documentary about love in modern China that touches upon the romantic past and present of 1.3 billion people in the world’s most populous country.

Why are lesbians marrying gay men? How are traditional rural weddings struggling to keep up with modernity? What are these “love-hunters” that rich men are hiring? Why do traditional matchmakers hate the internet? How is the Chinese government helping people find love?

Over the past 6 months, we traveled across China, from the urban jungles of Shanghai to the rural countrysides of Hebei province, in search of the sometimes surprising answers to these questions and more, as well as the social trends behind them, taking viewers on a fast-paced journey to find the meaning of love in a country undergoing rapid change.

The documentary is not yet out but is coming soon. For more information, you can visit the official People’s Republic of Love Facebook page and YouTube channel!

Chinese people on the street.

About the filmmakers…

The People’s Republic of Love is written, directed and produced by a team of veteran journalists and media professionals. Director and camerman Nathan Mauger has shot documentaries for National Geographic and Discovery Channel.
Producers Connie Young and Joe Xu (me!) have worked for news and media organizations including CNN, CBS News and NPR, while executive producer Tomas Etzler is a CNN correspondent and Emmy-winning producer.

A Chinese bride in wedding dress.

The bride and groom at a rural Chinese wedding.

Our documentary isn’t out just yet…

But it will be soon, and with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I wanted to start a discussion about all things “love” in China, including dating, marriage, and even infidelity. What have you seen? What have you experienced? What do you think?

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  • asian_don_draper

    i have a hard time believing that this is a china only thing.. There are just more stories coming out from china because there are so many more people than North America

    • Matt Weitz

      Of course a documentary about “love” in America would also be interesting – it doesn’t mean that this subject is not interesting – and the changes in society in China are undoubtedly much faster and more disjointed than recent changes in American society….should all films be about north america?

  • debman3

    This looks really good, can’t wait to watch it! Music is also awesome +1

  • Jay K.

    shit my porn sofa of love was taken!

  • Azeri

    It looks interesting, but you almost ruined it with the unnecessary “Wealth and lights!” editing.

    Although it is a fascinating phenomenon, it doesn’t need the stock DJ “Soundz” either.

    It could be insightful.

  • jeremy

    The same. Looks very interesting. Can’t wait to watch it! :)

  • Red Scarf

    Very interesting. One of the more bizarre experiences in rural China was on a dirt track between villages in a bus when a motorbike rider pulled us over over telling the driver not to take his wife as new she was home sick, trying to run away and he had paid 20,000 for her for a dowry.

    i wonder if it will make mention of so-called “100 kill” girls that appeared on the internet before censorship kicked in.

    • x1sfg

      I think I saw it. It had the same guy going around trying to buy prostitutes and then complaining about their lack of service, or the middle aged woman going around sleeping for money. Basically, 3rd world economics

      • Super Bunny

        it happens still, can not deny it. in poor villages, so sad!
        but never anyone i know in my town, only my neighbor their girl was sold to a shandong , married one son, did not beat her or whatever,so at last she took him home, a real and sweet couple.

    • Bob Loblaw

      There is a chinese movie called “Blind Mountain” (盲山) that deals about the subject of rural men buying women from the city due to lack of “wife material” in their remote towns. Your comment reminded me of that movie as there is a scene almost identical to what you’re describing in it.

    • linette lee

      ……….she was home sick, trying to run away and he had paid 20,000 for her for a dowry……….

      It’s called human trafficking. In other country men go to jail for that. Nobody on the bus asked the girl if she is o.k or need help.

  • John

    Looks very interesting. I love documentaries. Can’t wait for it to be out.

  • Kane Vast

    Teaching the Chinese guys to find love.

    I am looking forward to your doc.

    My full time job is to train Chinese guys to improve their personality and to be able to approach girls they meet during their life (at work, on the street, in the night club ect ect) and get the girls out on a date to see where it goes.

    I also have to teach them about relationships, how to make their girlfriend happy, how to deal with her when she is unhappy (effectively, rather than being immature and making lots of drama – which is the norm).

    There are many things i help them with about improving themselves and becoming happier ‘better’ people.

    The main thing though is that 80% of my students are virgins who have never had a girlfriend (aged from 18 to 35) so what i’m teaching them is really important as there aren’t many places you can learn these types of skills.

    Good stuff

    Kane Vast

    • no

      and they pay you for that

    • mr.wiener

      Sounds like a growth industry.

      • Kane Vast

        It is a good industry because it’s new, it’s not a good industry because of people mindset towards solving problems.

        In China most problems can be fixed just by throwing money/more money at the right people…..this obviously doesn’t work very well when you have identity and esteem issues.

        • mr.wiener

          Ok, don’t forget to teach them a component on how to dress and male grooming. Do some team sports for a bit of male bonding and how to cook so they can impress a girl.

          • Kane Vast

            You’re giving me terrible flash backs.

            The fashion part and male grooming part is like the hardest part of it :S, they are very resistant to change/fashion.

          • mr.wiener

            tell them it’s the latest fashion from JapanKorea.

    • Super Bunny

      i do not believe you!

    • You’re Chinese Hitch!

      • Kane Vast

        Yes, except i’m Australian.

    • maybeabanana

      Alternatively, there are therapists and psychologists for these issues. However this social view has become so common that they don’t see it as a problematic view of things.

      • Kane Vast

        Yeah….how many people do you know that have had social interaction issues/esteem issues/ confidence issues and have gone to see a therapist/psychologist and actually gotten some sort of result?

        I’m not trying to discredit either of them, but i actually know 0 people who have benefitted.

        From a business stand point it’s not really beneficial for a therapist or psychologist to ‘cure’ the person, as they want the person to keep coming back and paying money.

        Whereas for me, if i don’t get results my business will decline, my reputation will become nothing and i will end up with nothing.

        Also imo a lot of the therapists/psychologists have a lot of text book experience that they got from university (which is good because a lot of it is probably based on studies done by scientists) which certainly has some value, but if it’s not combined with real life experience and knowledge gained from reference experience then it’s not going to be particularly useful.

        My whole job is based around my own personal experiences.

        • maybeabanana

          Welp…I am one of those people with problems and granted that with insurance and a sliding scale is what makes psychologists available to me, they have given me pointers to deal with my issues . Your business is at duty similar but without a legal license and probably more indepth with the cultura

          • Kane Vast

            Without going into detail that would make you uncomfortable, what did the psychologist help you with, what was the original problem that was overcome?

            In relation to therapy….i’m essentially doing cognitive behaviour therapy, and i would say that i probably get better results than most thers/psychs because i’m focusing on more specific areas and don’t have to deal with as many different problems as they do.

            ” I would have to say that you may have more cultural background to see a lot more of the issues but within a relationship, a few things hold true: being able to cope and live with each other in love, respect and deal with problems of each other’s foibles.”

            The standard model for relationships and ‘love’ is actually quite flawed and one of the main reasons we have so many problems these days.

            For example:

            Guy and girl get married, guy ends up banging other girl, wife divorces guy, takes kids.

            If people were going to gamble on if the guy will bang another girl within the time he is married to his wife….it should always be ’10 million on red’ (red meaning yes, he will bang another girl).

            Due to human nature it’s kinda unrealistic to expect people to be happy with the same experience again and again and again over a long period of time…..

            So the original expectations most people are giving each other make the relationship fundamentally flawed from the beginning.

            If they both got into the relationship and agreed that they would give each other freedom and respect each other in x and x and x way and were then flexible about things, the relationship could continue (which is actually sorta a more Chinese approach, which was discussed above at the top of this article, which i don’t entirely disagree with).

            “I agree where in any profession that students come out with just textbook examples and real work comes from the actual job. We are talking about therapists and docs with 20+ years of medical experience from clinics and what not, no? So how can you say that they cannot do just as a job as you? Like you said, it is base on personal experiences and how can I compare your personal experience with the clinical and private practice experience that other therapists holds?”

            I agree with you that people who have experience from actually dealing with peoples problems rather than just text book knowledge are going to be effective.

            I was merely pointing out that in my particular area of expertise i feel i am much better equipped than the majority of therapists because of my life style, experiences and approach.

            So i deal mainly with this:

            Guys aged 18 to 35, unconfident, self esteem issues, negative thought patterns, bad frames, low social IQ, low EQ.

            I deal with very similar problems over and over and over again, which means I have the opportunity to get better at dealing with them quite quickly as opposed to a T or P who has to spread their efforts over a wider variety of problems.

            The other point i’d like to make is that most T’s and P’s are spending their time in an office talking one on one with troubled people, whereas i’m constantly out talking to many many many different people, every day, i have such a massive amount of reference experience which is continuously updated that i think i’m better equipped to deal with the current problems most men have rather than a T or P who has sat in a room, read books and had to deal with troubled people all the time.

            So as i’m focused on a particular area, and i’ve got up-to-date experience and knowledge i think i’m a better choice for those particular areas.

            I am certainly not a better choice for other areas which aren’t related to directly to my experiences.

            Compared to other guys teaching similar stuff in China, I feel that i’m doing the good deed (my course is 6 months long as that amount of time actually can bring about change, whereas most others courses are one weekend, and more expensive, and don’t really bring about change, they just give face).

            The core similarity is this:

            For those who sincerely want help and want to change, both me and T/Ps can help, for those who don’t really want help/to change but instead just want the opportunity to get attention or pay money to fix a problem – we can’t really help them.

            Good talks


          • maybeabanana

            The therapy provided was to help me overcome my personal insecurities, communications and social interactions. I have not thought a lot about it which makes going to therapy very helpful in seeing things in a different perspective and being more outgoing since I was always a quiet kid growing up.

            My therapist and many others that I have researched use cognitive behavior and other tools as well. So really, all this makes not too much difference as I have mentioned earlier.

            I am not disagreeing about what the standard view of love and relationship is. In fact, how societal upbringing of Disney princess expectations and movie portrays says plenty about our dysfunctional views. I can delve much deeper into that but since you and I concur then we shouldn’t argue the many meaning of love and relationship. 

            As far as this topic goes, I presumed by the way it sounds from your responses were you are better than psychologists out there because you have the experience and you assumed that most professionals out there are just textbook lab coats. I defend that because I personally have a good/productive experience with my psychologist and its pretty much resound that textbook research is not helpful at all versus real world experience as with any vocation.  My stance still stands and as we have thrice repeated, it is a difference in scale of business and money not whether you are better or they are.

            Topical ping pong indeed.

    • Daniel Tynan

      Good on ye! I can see a huge potential market for the “seduction techniques” industry. It was and to some degree still is a major “underground” industry in North America. Usually attracting shy, ackward, intellectual types who have great jobs and are willing to spend big bucks to improve their dating and relationships game skills.

      • Kane Vast

        It’s sorta different though….so it’s become a lot more mainstream in the West, and just having a few ‘seduction techniques’ makes more of a difference there than it does here.

        An example being i can spend a weekend teaching Western guys, they will change and get massive improvements just from 3 days of training (from not being able to start and maintain a conversation to being able to meet a random stranger on the street and take them on a date right there, and more) whereas when i do the same with Chinese guys the majority cannot change as quickly (I guess it’s something to do with the fact they are pressured by society to be a certain way a lot more strongly than we are back home).

        So i teach my guys for 6 months (the course is that long) and then we have a community/social group that we all stick to, so i’ve got some guys who’ve finished studying but they still hang around with the group, their friends are in the group and they still discuss their relationships/dating/love life problems with us to get some more improvements.

    • Anonymous

      i don’t think it’s working..

      • Kane Vast

        1.4 Billion people, I’m teaching 4 at a time, it’s gonna take me a while, kthnx.

        • Anonymous

          which part of china are you working in? you won’t believe the startling differences in upbringings just by moving around provinces, esp north/south.

          • Kane Vast

            The major cities.

            I do believe it, i’ve travelled around and talked to people, China is only called China for convenience, I’ve found massive differences between different parts of China, so much so that i could consider them to be totally different people (XinJiang people and LanZhou people are so much happier and easy going for example)

    • YahLey

      Non-Sequitor: I love how in the minds of the West, Chinese men exist both as “effeminate beta-male virgins,” and “players that cheat on their women.” The confirmation bias is too funny

      • Kane Vast

        Most people have an incomplete/ignorant understanding of other cultures and only judge the surface level stuff (which is of course all they can see as they aren’t immersed).

  • mr.wiener

    Song of the article [until we get a better suggestion] Tina Turner: “What’s love got to do with it?”

    • Germandude

      “Love hurts” from Boudleaux Bryant. Has been copied by many famous musicians.

      Anyways, I shall send you regards of a lone wolf that has entered a new galaxy and wishes to meet your virtual personality again. In order to find that galaxy you either call Fox Mulder and Dana Scully or move your cursor on poster names that cause terror on your mind.

      • mr.wiener

        Good thing we cracked the enigma code 6 months ago comrade,

      • Brett

        “Love Stinks” Adam Sandler. The Wedding Singer

        • A guy

          J. Geils Band did that. Adam Sandler was playing a wedding singer that covered popular songs of the day.

          • Brett

            I didn’t know that. I also didn’t care.

      • linette lee

        “Where is the love?” Black eyed peas.

    • Alex

      “If I were a rich man”

  • Super Bunny

    i wanna write a book for girls too…

    • moody

      omg, my sides

    • can this ghost read your book of love?

  • Reila90

    LOL Japan had a same problem. I think this have somthing to do with
    confuciusm society.

    • Wow, do you even know what ‘confuciusm’ is? You’re 23 year old idiot you never had an original thought in your head.

      • Reila90

        I knew. You don’t need to offend anyone if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion. How old are you?

      • Paul Schoe

        Wow, Be Good Be Kind, in reference to the comment that I made to you above: here another example of how your screen name would do well in a competition for deceiving marketing.

        Is it really necessary to hide your very judgmental comments behind such a pleasant screen name? It is almost as if you are embarrassed for your own comments.

      • Kate

        Completely unnecessary and you sir are a jackass…a mean, crude jackass with dung on his bottom.

      • Warren Lauzon

        Actually, she is correct – it has a LOT to do with Confucianism and the general attitudes towards women. If there was not a problem, then why is China short some 33 million women of marriagable age due to the “one family, one child” policies?

  • China. The land of a lot

    • Anonymous

      that would be MERCA

  • Moi

    I’ve found modern Chinese conceptions of love so messed up — either completely unrealistic (overly romantic) or completely “realistic” (utilitarian)… Looking forward to watching this!

    • You hit the nail on the head, Moi. And there is little middle ground here. I met a girl and asked her what she looked for in men. She said, “Love. Or money. If not one, he must have other.”

      • Matt Weitz

        I agree that this is the approach that Chinese people often take – perhaps one (the overly romantic) is what they feel they should want and the practical realistic other is what they know they need. What about what they actually really want? This is something that I think is often overlooked by many.

        • Thats a really tough question…. I’m not sure “what one really wants” is part of their mentality. Of course its still there somewhere, I see it come out in my students occasionally (I do goal setting exercises in my classes) but so obscure as to pass under their own radars as mental/emotional jetsam and totally unidentifiable as a useful thing in their lives.

  • James K

    Will it speak about how materialistic the Chinese families are being in the past 10 years? I mean, to get married with a Chinese girl you need a house, a car, lots of money, give her family money and shit… This is really bullshit. And they want to show off as much as they can, to their neighbours, to their friends, so if their friends spent 100k rmb for their son’s wedding they will expect you to do better when you marry their daughter, or they will loose face.

    I have heard so much bullshit here that sometimes you really consider about getting married with the girl you love, all because of this extremely materialistic bullshit and her parents being fucking douchebags. It’s all about money, who gives a shit about love here? Maybe when they are young with no responsabilities but for marriage? It’s really hard and disapointing.

    • Gay Azn Boi
    • Wick

      Do the expats here who have actually married into a Chinese family agree with this post? I don’t.

      If you’re dating someone with these kinds of morals/values, run.

      • Wick

        Maybe to elaborate a bit, you’ll find it more common for parents to look out for the well-being of their child/children. Usually a house is pretty standard because it shows the man can offer some sort of stability, but that’s not always the case. I’ve found a lot of people’s parents believe in couples starting from scratch and making a life together, especially if they themselves have done it that way.

        Different country, different people, different system. It’s really tough to wrap your mind around. I think the most negativity about this is coming from the price of housing these days, not the tradition itself.

        My wife explained the materialism to me as being a way of showing others they are well-off and not living in poverty. Not long ago, almost everybody was qiong guang dan poor. Westerners do the same thing when they sink money into their houses, a lot of it is for show.

        • karamazov

          I totally agree that people of Any culture who increasingly make more and more money tend to show off, it’s a human thing. But I also want to point out that lots of Chinese are too unemotional about human relations, too calculating and business minded, seeing love & relations as a commodity. My own family is guilty of this, always saying that Chinese men are superior to other men, but then immediately saying otherwise if some boy of another ethnicity expresses interest in me… especially if he’s rich -_-

          • Wick

            I agree there are a lot of people who follow that kind of sentiment, I myself know a slew of people who have gotten married just months after meeting but I also know a lot of people who are just the opposite. Maybe the latter is the result of the country opening up because not long ago arranged marriages was the tradition.

            My wife’s immediate family has never given me any grief in regards to paying a dowry or anything else related to money. I definitely can relate to what you’re talking about though, there are still relatives who have a really backward view of who I am and what I’m doing there. A few relatives just cannot let me forget I’m a foreigner, constantly posing questions and making childish contrasts. Gets under my skin sometimes but I usually just let them be. The only thing I really don’t like is how my wife, her brother and I are constantly perceived as children. The amount of control her parents have over us is … I’m just glad we don’t live together. Her brother is 24 years old, married with a kid and has an eight o’clock curfew. :P

    • Kane Vast

      “Will it speak about how materialistic the Chinese families are being in the past 10 years?”

      Probably not.

      Also from a Western perspective many of us may find this mindset distasteful, but from a Chinese perspective it’s quite sound and makes a lot of sense.

      Until recently (and still in many parts of China) everyone was poor and money was the only way to guarantee security, also take into account that women in China don’t really have fantastic earning opportunities when they get a job….so that leaves you with one real option (as a girl): which is getting married to a dude with money.

      Now i would have to say that there is a difference between Shanghai, Beijing and other parts of China, money and face certainly have different meanings in particular places….but these are the two things that the Chinese value: Money and Face.

      Money provides security which is important as it gives people access to a better life, health care and makes sure they don’t have to worry about surviving (if a girl marries a rich guy then her parents are going to be fine, even in their old age).

      The Chinese all operate on GuanXi which means that everyone knows what is happening in everyone elses life and the relationship between each other are important both socially and economically, so if you lose face it can affect your social standing negatively, which is not good.

      IMO The Shanghaiese are disgustingly materialistic and a lot of them are shallow people who do mainly care about face and money…..but that’s ok because China is changing and this is just part of the change.

      Chinese people are practical, not emotional.

      Also because of the overall economic situation of the country (tons of poor people, massive amount of low class, minimal middle class, minuscule high class – in terms of how rich they are) people aren’t prioritizing ‘love’ above practicality.

      Makes sense to me.

      • Kane Vast

        Oh and i would like to clarify – I don’t think all of the Chinese are grossly materialistic….i’ve mainly had this experience in Shanghai more than anywhere else, i’ve certainly met a lot of Chinese who weren’t like that and just wanted their children to be happy/in love.

  • This documentary doesn’t appear to have anything to do with love. Relationships, courtship, male-female interaction… but not love.

    As for answering the authors question, marriage in China seems very odd to me… more like a social arrangement than a bonded loving partnership. I’ve seen plenty of couples who are madly in love with each other, of course, but infidelity seems so rampant and shameless. When I ask Chinese girls what they look for in men, they almost always immediately say, “loyalty.”

    I think thats a very bad starting point. When the need for a real emotional bond, common goals, common world perspective, mutual betterment etc. are thrown out the window in favor of a rare quality that is foundational to a last relationship… thats a bad place for a nation to be.

    • you make it sound like you just want to bash on the chinese men. aren’t the guys looking for ‘loyalty’ as well? The problem is on both sides….

      • WoRPt

        Bash? On the Chinese? On ChinaSmack? I don’t sink so.

        • Chinkicide

          No Bashes, No Smacks here. Nosing to see, keep moving.

      • No, maybe you misunderstand me. “What do you look for in a man?” I ask, and in my experience, Chinese women tend to answer “loyalty” without even thinking about it. Yes, men and women look for loyalty, but loyalty is (or should be) a basic expectation in a monogamous relationship. “Loyalty” is the same as answering “heartbeat” or “not a rapist.”

        Women’s tendency to place “loyalty” as the most important thing is symptomatic of how poorly they are regarded by the men they wed. (I understand there are other explanations, but I’m not trying to write a book here.)

        On the other hand, the whole “have a house, have a car, have lots of money in savings” is wholly ridiculous, so… I guess there’s just a rift between our cultures.

        • Paul Schoe

          @Sean: I like your description ““Loyalty” is the same as answering
          “heartbeat” or “not a rapist.”

          As you say; loyalty is a conditio sine qua non, without which there shouldn’t even be a marriage. Having to state the obvious, does indeed make clear how sorry the state of affairs is in many of these marriages.

        • YahLey

          I am quick to agree with you that Chinese men are in general more prone to infidelity, especially those who are very rich. But I feel most men behave that way, look at Berlusconi P.M of Italy as a recent scandal. It’s celebrated in the US to get money get girls isn’t it? Or did I grow up here with different people than you?

          The money thing is only wholly ridiculous to you because you understand China only on a shallow level.

          The question we are addressing is “Why do Chinese get more direct utility from material wealth?”

          I believe the major factor here is a lack of the social safety nets you see provided by Western governments. A person with $0 in the US will fare FAR and away better than a Chinese person with $0. A developed economy also makes attaining livelihood security/benefits much easier. This is why Chinese men seek to make money, and the women seek those with it (a universal idea). As such, If you’re broke in China you’re (very soon to be) fucked. If I’m broke in the US I file bankruptcy, collect unemployment, get loans, seek charity/pro bono help, etc. Chinese single mom? GOOD LUCK lol. US Baby Momma, child support, maternal leave, etc. benefits.

          Once the overall standard of living rises in China then yes people will be able to enjoy the luxury which we the West indulges of pursuing doomed marriages.

          Of most of the US girls I ask here what they want in a man they say “a fat cock, six pack, good singer, funny, blue eyes.” Is it love when a girl likes me for those things without worrying about my capacity for providing in the future? They’re mostly already provided for by government. I bang girls here because I play guitar well. LUL!!

      • G$

        But it’s not nearly as rampant a problem with Chinese women as with men.

    • Beijinger in Beijing

      They are lying to you.

      The number one criterion is absoluteing having an apartment/house.

      A lot of Chinese women tolerate infidelity as long as they derive material comfort from the relationship.

      • Zhegezhege

        Believe it or not though, there are actually some Chinese girls that have high enough self-esteem that they measure themselves by means other than how much money they can extract from men. It’s not easy for them to stand up for themselves; too many people hate them out of jealousy or fear and usually these girls have to have their own comfortably-paying job to have the necessary independence, but they’re out there and there are plenty of them.

        And the ones that you’re talking about don’t really tolerate infidelity. They are resigned to it, because according to their life experience, it’s unrealistic – even unreasonable – to expect your husband not to potentially expose you to the possible STDs of a possible mistresses and hookers. There’s a difference. Whether you meant it or not, what you wrote looks a lot like “they’re all whores anyway, so we you might as well treat them like it”.

        • Anonymous

          it’s definitely a sad state of society in china

    • “Marriage in China seems very odd to me…”

      Well, taking in account that this is the most populous country in the world, whatever the Chinese marriage pattern is – it is the most widespread marriage pattern in the world.

      • No it doesn’t…. “widespread” denotes a suffusion across a broad swath of civilization, influence in a number of cultures. In absolute terms, Chinese language and behavior exceeds that of any other… but there is nothing of China that comes to mind that is “widespread.” It is nearly all concentrated within its own borders. In fact, foreigners tend to be surprised at the way Chinese behave when they visit China because Chinese outside of China tend to assimilate their host country’s mores. So lets not pretend because 20% of the world population is here that China is any kind of standard bearer. Not even close.

        • Anonymous

          also you must remember that chinese outside of china are mostly not the same people as chinese in china

          many chinese left before the cultural revolution, and were from southern china. the people are very different from the trash you see in china today. completely different upbringings despite sharing (some) blood.

          • I’m referring to first generation immigrants…. and I was only disputing the term “widespread,” not at all trying to say “Chinese are trash.”

    • Kane Vast

      infidelity is a normal thing in China, the more money you have, the more accepted and expected it is.

      It’s been like that for a very very long time.

      The point of marriage back home is ‘for love’, the point of marriage in China for a lot of people is to secure a better economic and social position for yourself and your family…..which actually makes a lot more sense, love is quite changable (look at how many Western men end up raising children that are not their own, birthed by their ‘loving’ wife)

      • Yeah, I get that, but it still seems very outmoded to me.

  • Gay Azn Boi

    Okay…I just don’t believe in marriage. You have limited time on this planet. Why limit yourself to one partner? Love should really be treated like a buffet. Don’t get me wrong. If you find someone you truly love and want to stay with him/her for the rest of your life, that’s fine, but I just think that at the end of the day you’re missing out.

    Open relationship FTW!

    • Wick

      I don’t think you really understand what marriage is. If everybody followed your advice of “buffet” love the world would be thrown into chaos. Marriage is one of the most basic foundations of civilization, preventing conflicts between males over females. It transcends our species from animalistic behaviours and provides stability for families. It gives children fathers, and mothers support. It builds strength of character and gives depth to a relationship through commitment, responsibility, patience, and sacrifice. Whether natural or not, it is essential.

      I actually pity your way of life. Never having anyone truly care for you, tossing and being tossed around like an object of momentary desire. Dodging responsibilities that help you grow as a person, no matter gay or straight.

      • WoRPt

        Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries

      • Gay Azn Boi

        Your idea of marriage works great only in theory. To me, marriage = the beginning of the end for a man’s life. Let’s see….

        Marriage is:
        – The number 1 cause of divorce
        – The end of dating
        – The end of your sex life
        – The most successful wealth transfer scheme ever invented

        All jokes aside, If marriage truly works as you described, then explain to me why an estimated 1 in 3 marriage end up in divorce.

        And no need to pity my way of life. I was obviously speaking from the perspective of a gay male. You see, for us, we’re still in the midst of transition from sexual oppression to sexual liberation, which would explain why most gay men become promiscuous and have multiple partners in their lives (I’m speaking from personal experience and those of my friends, so I’m not being stereotypical). It’s easy for you to say “OMG that’s so wrong!”, “You are irresponsible”, blah blah blah. But that’s because you don’t know what it’s like to be gay and to have been sexually oppressed for centuries simply for being for you are. As long as straight men like you never have to experience the trials and tribulations that almost all gay men go through, you will never understand why we do what we do.

        • A guy

          Marriage is not about love, fun, or excitement GAB. Those are ingredients that make it happen, but they aren’t the focus the reason for it. It is about devotion and legacy building. It becomes an institution in your life and creates an anchor for some people. It may not be for you, but it has many benefits. Most of those benefits are much more adult and less exciting. It is a construct that best raises children (not saying necessary but the best for most).

          The failure of Marriage is due to so many peoples values changing with rapid development. Marriage isn’t the problem the problem is people not understanding why and when they should marry. It is false expectations of excitement and love coming from your marriage. You make those yourself no matter what your relationship status.

          You are young and it may not be attractive or ever will be to you, but one day you may want to build something like that to fend off the howling winds of entropy and death that scratch at the doors of your life.

          • Gay Azn Boi

            The last paragraph was too deep for me.

        • Wick

          Your argument lacks thought and originality.

          “As long as straight men like you never have to experience the trials and tribulations that almost all gay men go through, you will never understand why we do what we do.”

          As long as gay men like you never have to experience the trials and tribulations that almost all straight men go through, you will never understand why we do what we do.

          As long as men like you never have to experience the trials and
          tribulations that almost all women go through, you will never
          understand why we do what we do.

          As long as white men like you never have to experience the trials and tribulations that almost all black men go through, you will never understand why we do what we do.

          As long as foreigners like you never have to experience the trials and tribulations that almost all Chinese go through, you will never
          understand why we do what we do.

          As long as Chinese like you never have to experience the trials and tribulations that almost all foreigners go through, you will never understand why we do what we do.

          As long as people like you never have to experience the trials and tribulations that almost all jack-asses go through, you will never understand why we do what we do.

          • Gay Azn Boi

            Did you really have to write all that just to discredit me? I’m sorry but that made absolutely no sense. You’re talking as though gay people are equal to everybody else (we SHOULD be, but that doesn’t mean we are). If you can’t accept the fact that gay people have been persecuted through out history for simply BEING WHO THEY ARE, then there really isn’t anything I can do. Oh, and as long as there are people like the one in the video below in this world, there will never be equal rights for gays (though I have to agree that it’s more comedic than insulting :p).


            Now that I think about it, I can’t blame you for not understanding what gay people go through everyday. You’re straight after all.

          • Wick

            Since when did I make ANY anti-gay remarks? I thought we were arguing about the concept of marriage? Keep your insecurities out of this. It’s funny how you keep saying “people like you”, like you know who I am. From what I said, how can you deduce anything about me? It’s all the same with you, if someone challenges your ideas they are attacking your homosexuality.

            When my uncle asked me what I think about my younger brother being gay I said, what he does in the privacy of his bedroom is no one’s business but his own. I have a lot of respect for my brother and his choice of life. We talk about what it means to be gay for him and contrast it to me being a foreigner in China. We actually can relate on a lot of things, you’ll find minorities have a lot in common.

            This argument is about the idea of marriage, which I gave my opinion to yours. For you to tell everybody that “you’re missing out” is naive and wrong. Just think for a second, if everybody took your advice, what would the world look like?

          • Gay Azn Boi

            Sorry, I think I should clarify. I guess I should have said I don’t believe in monogamous relationships. You can get married and have children and all that good stuff, but there’s no harm to hook up every now and then :p

            I don’t know, but I just can’t fathom being with the same person for the rest of my life, or that it’s wrong to hook up if I’m in a committed relationship.

            Btw, just curious, where are you from and what do you do in China?

          • Wick

            Actually, I should’ve used monogamous relationships instead of marriage as I am not really religious and have conflicting ideas about traditions. Marriage to me is just a promise written on paper.

            In regards to your last question, I prefer to keep my identity anonymous on the internet. The less you know about me the better. ;)

          • Gay Azn Boi

            Right…because I’m going to come after you and recruit you into my ranks of homosexuals. All I asked was where you’re from and what you’re doing in China -__-

          • Wick

            Why would I tell you anything about myself so you can try and fit me into one of your stereotypes? For someone who hates to be discriminated against, you sure do it a lot.

          • Wick
          • Gay Azn Boi

            Uhmm…what’s your point in showing me that article? That bad things can happen every now and then when people hook up?

          • A guy

            If you set up your boundaries at the start of a relationship as an open one then it is ok, but if you don’t then you are being dishonest and then it is not. If people want to have open marriages that is ok, but from what I have seen of human nature love and marriage stand the best chance under monogamy. People are naturally jealous of romantic competition. It seems selfish to me to put that strain on something you have both promised to maintain. And in the end I guess I still believe marriage is sacred for gays and straights.

            I am not a Christian, but these words always made sense to me.

            Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

            If the above statement was too churchy for you, my second favorite is from the Bard.

            Let me not to the marriage of true minds
            Admit impediments. Love is not love
            Which alters when it alteration finds,
            Or bends with the remover to remove:
            O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
            That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
            It is the star to every wandering bark,
            Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
            Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
            Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
            Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
            But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
            If this be error and upon me proved,
            I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

            GAB it may be true that you have never known true love. One day you may, that day as it is for most people is a bittersweet one full of loss and gain as it is with any life changing event.

          • Gay Azn Boi

            Thanks but that was a little too deep for me..

          • Wick

            If you check out the date on that story it was actually posted the same day and near the same time as my previous comment. Maybe it’s just an uncanny coincidence, but I find that sort of thing tends to happen a lot more than just “now and then”>

          • Wick

            That video made my day! That guy clearly got his “evidence” from a triple X rated porn site. The fact that he actually presented that to his congregation is hilarious! I wouldn’t take offense to something like that, you can’t blame idiots for being stupid.

  • Tadd

    Hohoho… “For more information, you can visit the official People’s Republic of Love Facebook page and YouTube channel!”

    Choose two medians blocked within mainland China to help promote a documentary about (love in) China… nice one.

    But, from what I can see, it looks very interesting!

  • Johnny_Basic

    ‘The People’s Republic of Love’, eh. Perhaps the next in the series will be called ‘The People’s Republic of Transparent Government’, ‘The People’s Republic of Empathy’ or ‘The People’s Republic of Impeccable Table Manners’. All of these things, after all, are in equally short supply in this country. Quite simply, most Chinese relationships are entirely loveless.

    There are three reasons, and three reasons only, for any citizen of the PRC ever doing anything, ever:

    1) They are socially obligated to do it.
    2) They will derive material benefit from it.
    3) It will help pass the time in as brainless a fashion as possible.

    Relationships are no exception from this.


      When will white people learn marrying for love result in failure?


      • elizabeth

        That’s because they enter into marriage no knowing what true lasting love is. How many still say ‘for better or worse till death do us part’ in their marriage vows?

        • Ryo

          “true lasting love”… hmm… how can anyone know until it actually lasts that long? And I’m sure most people get married not thinking about getting divorced but half of them eventually do. The other half stay together for other reasons besides love… Be it kids, money, “just too hard”, etc etc, it’s hardly ever “true lasting love.”

          • elizabeth

            It’s in the prerequisites, such as commitment, fidelity, selflessness…Just as a good chef would know whether his dish would turn out well by the ingredients he uses and how much care he puts into the process of cooking.

            Unfortunately, ‘love’ as it it known today is mostly physical/sexual attraction laced with notions of relativism. One must be frigid, ugly, impotent or abnormal if he/she does not have multiple sexual partners. Being sexually liberal is championed as opposed to monogamy. It is a wonder why people even expect marriages to last in this age of liberalism.

          • DavidisDawei

            You’re analogy of a chef is a good one because good cooks know a good dish requires constant tasting during its creation and making necessary changes along the way to perfect the final product.

            I agree with RYO – I suspect most people don’t go into marriage thinking theirs will be one that fails, but For a variety of reasons, people don’t communicate/work at things over time and then change/float apart and are surprised when things fall apart.

            Unfortunately, marriage involves two people and when one quits, the other can only hold it together for a limited time. Do you Stay in a marriage for the “right reasons”, unhappy with the decision day after day. Some people just figure, “Screw it, I’m not wasting my life one day longer”

            It must a difficult quandary and, I hope, one that I am never in – but Marriage will always be a leap of faith since “Life is What Happens while we’re making other plans”

          • elizabeth

            Most people don’t go into marriage thinking theirs will fail, I am not debating that. Nor am I judging those who choose to divorce. But there are those who marry without thinking much about what makes a marriage lasts because they know there is always divorce if things don’t turn out well. It’s only human nature to take the easier way out.

            What is love? It means different things to different people, sometimes even nothing to some people. But when divorces rise, it’s worth a rethink about what love really should be.

          • icarusty

            WTF are you bullshitting about now? Truth of the matter is, you just racially stereotyped all chinese as utilarian when marrying, but whites doing the same then divorcing obviously just made a mistake in love. NO WAY would whites marry for financial reasons, or chinese for – OMG – LOVE.

            Then you have the nerve to say “oh look at these asians, putting on a racial slant (sneaky wording) on something ffluffy and innocent. YOU were the one who mentioned Chinese, remember.

            Though quite expected of whites nowadays. Do as I say, not as I do. How would you like it if others did the same to you? As a white, I do believe you have never had the privilege of this

          • elizabeth

            Are you replying to me? I have no idea what you are talking about.

          • YahLey

            Of course you don’t. You didn’t even try. Live long

          • elizabeth

            Ah, YahLey!

          • YahLey

            No I have my own account which has two responses to you. You’re quick to run.

            I wonder if you’ve fooled yourself into actually believing icarusty is actually me. He’s made himself such a nice package of offensive wording you can just disregard him as an untouchable hm?

            Sorry, I’m the guy whose existence to acknowledge would mean the acknowledgement of your own objective self, separate from whatever fantastical moral ideals you hold.

            And so I expect this to be our last dialogue. Live long

        • YahLey

          Summary: it’s okay when 50% of American people don’t know what true lasting love is and ultimately fail. The endeavor, even with the 50% failure rate is worthy of admiration and pursuit. Chinese utilitarianism is loveless and wrong.

          Edit: All Chinese are utilitarian and only want money

          • elizabeth

            Why am I not surprised that a discussion on love has taken a racist slant?

          • YahLey

            It’s easy to be surprised with your current paradigm because Chinese society is ethnically homogenous. Notice how I said American and Chinese rather than White and Chinese.

            I live in America, I’ve got my politically correct game on lockdown.

          • YahLey

            Also notice how the original poster of our thread makes a grand sweeping negative statement ostensibly entailing all Chinese people.

      • Li Shuai

        You mean the Biblical values of matrimoney brought to whites, who think they are the chosen race of YHWH instead of the Hebrews. In reality, all cultures have man-woman marriage and western society has the most divorce rate because it is the most liberal and morally corrupt.

    • elefant tooth


    • It is odd that loser from the America come to China and rant. I mean, China suck, go home already. If you are home, then why the hell do you care? Most American hate Chinese so much, shouldn’t you be happy that China sucks?

      • Paul Schoe

        On a sideline: how can somebody with your screen name ‘Be Good Be Kind’ be so furious and judgmental in the wording that you choose?

        There is marketing strategy that can best be summarized as ‘deceiving marketing’. If the performance of your product is lacking on a certain feature, then start promoting that feature. before long, people will have a positive idea about that feature, and will take that feature already as granted. Your screen name compared to the content of your post, reminds me of that marketing strategy.

        Be Good and Be Kind, and your blood pressure will not rise that much. With they attitude that you now display, you are on your way to a heart attack

        • icarusty

          not heard of irony then….

      • Paul Schoe

        @Be Good Be Kind: Why do you call observations ‘ranting’?

        When I visit the US or Europe, there are many observations that I can make, for example about the homeless in the US, or about the work attitudes in Southern Europe. That doesn’t mean that i am ranting.

        One of the things that surprises me here in China, is that whenever there is anything said by foreigners that can be interpreted as embarrassing by our hosts (the Chinese); then instead of discussing the topic, and coming with counter examples, they start talking about those LaoWei that should go back home if they do not like it here. This reaction is so different then the reaction that I meet in the US or in Europe when issues are raised.

        How can a society improve if it is not willing to discuss even the slightest critical remarks, but instead replies with remarks that close off any debate?

        • Yah_Lay2014

          Fortunately for you Paul you’re exempt from any racial tensions that exist because you’re white in both the US and Europe. I’m Chinese American and you bet your ass anytime I contributed in US History discussion in high school I had critical eyes ready to chew me out as anti-American. In fact I do believe the slogan “‘Merica, Love it or Leave it” already exists in the US.

          • DavidisDawei

            USA is a big country…Where was this school?
            I suspect many peoples’ initial reaction is to be defensive and might say something like that (to people they don’t know).

          • YahLey

            Top private boarding school in the US. Hotchkiss, Deerfield, etc. (obviously not one of those two).

            What you said is exactly what I mean. People’s initial reactions will most definitely be defensive. It’s like asking a fatty why he’s so goddam fat. “If you don’t like me then leave me alone,” he would reply defensively. “Like it or get out!” Now imagine someone with an ostensible difference, say skin color and facial features, calling this fat guy a fatty. It’s way easier to hate someone who looks so different than you.

          • DavidisDawei

            I suspect most kids at boarding schools are not your typical Americans…
            HaHa – I chuckle as I recalled this memory when reading your post…
            I helped to create and launch a business for a man who had attended Deerfield and he was pissed at me one time (we were arguing over compensation) and he sat me down and forcefully told me “David, you have a chip on your shoulder. I can’t help it if I am a have and you are a have not” and he went on to call himself a “member of the lucky sperm club”
            I don’t disagree that looking different used to be (and maybe in places can still can be) a more difficult road to go in the USA.

          • YahLey

            Yes… Those Deerfield kids are the worst…

          • Paul Schoe

            Thanks Yah_Lay for putting this in perspective.

            Yes, I realize how lucky I am that I have a ‘white’ skin. It very often (not always and sometimes the opposite) results in totally undeserved positive treatment compared to people with another skin color.

            Nevertheless, I do feel that people in China are more averse to discussing unpleasant circumstances in their country then that people are in other countries. Maybe because they are not used to discussing them among themselves and that most likely (as i have heard that often) because they feel that they can’t change it, that they have no influence on what happens.

            I disagree with things in my home country, but that doesn’t mean that i don’t want to live there. To me, critical observations offer an opportunity to improve, to ‘Be Good Be Kind’ (what’s in a name), it seems to imply the automatic end of a friendship. It is a pity.

          • Wick

            Hey Paul,

            You might find this article interesting about Chinese freedom of speech. It’s a speech given at Peking University that really puts things into perspective.


          • Paul Schoe

            Hi Wick,

            Thanks for the link. Very interesting and brave commentary. I try to get the speech translated (it’s an image, so I can’t copy the text). Let’s hope that his last statement comes true: “I am always critical of this country, yet I am always full of hope for this nation.”.

            Over the years, i have seen many things change, most for the better, so I as well, am full of hope for, often even faith in, the future of China.

          • YahLey

            I understand your point but I still don’t think a German (imagine a Ghanian instead for added shock value) casually “observing” the Greece economy to a Greek is going to be greeted with a smile and an honest opinion. This particular German would almost certainly leave Greece with a sense that Greeks are overly defensive delusional cunts.

            Edit: I just want to agree with your last point. This is why I enjoy websites like cS

          • icarusty

            “You feel”

            Which is subjective.

            Maybe it’s because your head is so far up your ass you can’t see that – shit, your race is just as bad if not moreso than others.

        • icarusty

          This reaction is so different then the reaction that I meet in the US or in Europe when issues are raised


          what a terrible liar. As an Asian (difference beiing I was born here), whenever I talk about issues that are… sensitive to whites, things that are integrally part of their culture or race…. they use the “go home” bull shit. Don’t don’t pull of that sort of reasoning with the rest of us. We’re fully aware whites do exactly that sort of thing you’re complaining about – you are the kings of hypocrisy, after all.

      • icarusty

        they do this because they want to spread the hatred, pull orientals down further and throw mud at them. It is how whites win battles nowadays – a lot cheaper too, so that suits them fine – slander, stereotyping, rumours. It’s a massive exercise in PR.

    • YahLey

      Basic indeed

    • Wick

      “There are three reasons, and three reasons only, for any citizen of the PRC ever doing anything, ever:

      1) They are socially obligated to do it.
      2) They will derive material benefit from it.
      3) It will help pass the time in as brainless a fashion as possible.”

      Actually, I think you just summed up people in general. Can anybody think of a #4 for themselves?

      • Wick

        4) We do things out of the kindness of our own hearts!

    • Munkee

      I couldn’t say it better

    • icarusty

      because obviously you’ve seen all the millions of chinese marriages to qualify with such a gross stereotypical statement.

      Proof in point – on hols in China for 2 weeks, I see a young couple holding hands and doing lovey dovey stuff.

      But of course, you are a white man spreading bullshit on the internet. That has never changed.

    • Andrew C

      I have no idea why people are spending so much time responding to you rather than calling you a racist piece of shit.

    • Kane Vast

      Hey hey,

      Although i do in part agree with your sentiment (especially the table manners part)….i disagree that most Chinese relationships are entirely loveless….

      I think there is a major difference in the underlying dynamics of relationships and how they begin/occur compared to Westeners which is causing you to judge things this way.

      I’ve spoken to a lot of couples and the high majority do love each other…it’s just many people here have serious emotional issues due to how they are treated by their parents, society and school that end up making their relationships a bit messed up long term….(juding by Western standards).

      If you went and read about the different motivation drives humans have you’d realize how incorrect your statement is.

      I’ve had a girlfriend who was with me even though it went against her social obligations (to her family ect ect), it was materialistically detrimental and she certainly could have found other ways to pass the time in a more brainless fashion.

      Love is growing in China, albiet sometimes in a very fucked up it, but it is improving!

  • WoRPt

    The People’s Republic of Banana.

  • Irvin

    Can you post it on youku or tudou instead of youtube? A lot of us can’t see it in china.

  • Daniel Tynan

    Looks interesting Joe. Looking forward to seeing your documentary. Do you know the Canadian documentary creator of “The Longest Journey” and “Up the Yangtze”? Is he involved int his project at all? I’m a fan of his work.

  • Warren Lauzon

    There was a survey done around 2007/2008 about why so many Asian women want to marry foreigners (ie, “white guys”). The #1 reason given was the chance to get out of a country where women were 2nd class citizens.

    Others in the top 10 were basically things like “Asian men come with too much baggage” – from the Bing translation I gathered this meant that in many Asian countries, women become “owned” by the husbands family. Other factors cited were “Patriarchy”, “cultural sexism”, and “gold digging” (which was near the bottom of the list.
    The survey was taken from women in Japan, Korea, China, Taiwan, & Malaysia. Cannot find the link again or I would post it.

    • Reila90

      As Asian, i can assure you those survey or statistic are totally off. What actually makes Asian women want to marry foreigners are often because social status.
      The problems in Asian society can be applied to both men & women. Asian women always expect for “superior” partner as a role. “Superior” by Asian women means high education, salary, status, etc. Thus patriarchy become a “bargain” thing between men and women. You can’t solely blame Asian men when the Asian women already expect you for something. What you should blame of is Confucianism ideology that rooted in Asian society for hundred years. Confucianism crush the means of love.

      • Guest

        thank you!

      • Warren Lauzon

        I should note that from what I recall from the survey, it was taken only from high school seniors that planned to attend college, and university undergrads, so obviously did not include a lot of the “lower education tier” girls.

        • Reila90

          I don’t think it’s about their education or else lol.

      • icarusty

        And white fever.

        • Reila90

          That’s a part of “social status”.

          • icarusty

            No, it isn’t. It’s race. Plain and simple. If you and other Chinese consider a difference of race as a social status then we have a bigger, more deep rooted problem than I thought, because it implies – according to the Chinese themselves – that the Chinese race is inferior to whites, thus also supporting white supremacy. Effectively, they are proud to be who they are – until whites come along and call the shots.

            ethnic Chinese will never be able to carve out their own destiny with a self hatred crutch like this one.

    • John

      Yet, there are other countries where it is far worse off for women but you don’t see their women spewing crap about their men and culture while running to foreigners. Take India for example or the Middle East.

      If anything, I think the Asian women are too spoiled and the men needs to put them in their place. That crap they spew doesn’t fly with me.

      • Warren Lauzon

        “.. the men needs to put them in their place..”
        And it is that attitude that makes so many Asian women NOT want to marry Asians.

        • icarusty

          wrong. It is because orientals are neither here nor there. Not having the “extreme” (relatively) freedom for women in the US and Western Europe, whilst not being completely restricted by their men in Asia. If women faced either condition, which isn’t the case in China, the women are more likely to marry their own – through choice or force.

      • YahLey

        China only opened itself fully 30 years ago. In terms of a nation’s age this is very very young. These people have no previous exposure now suddenly see these “IDEALS” of “morality, love, civilization” which their gov,. their individuals may not even uphold. A veritable highlight reel

        A number of Chinese women did/do indeed fawn over foreign men believing they are more cultured, have more material wealth, etc. However, many of those are realizing that the media is simply a highlight reel of ideals and simply do not represent individuals. In the long term as it is happening now Chinese women realize that American men can come in the form of scum just as Chinese men can.

        • icarusty

          you’d think that was common sense though…

      • Strangerland

        India and middle-east women are not exactly good choice to show why chinese women prefer whites. Correct me if I’m wrong, but these groups of women are just similarly oppressed. Their parents, friends and communities still expect them to end up with their race guys. I know tons of these girls who are in matchmaking-marriages or discouraged from marrying foreigners. I read a lot of stories of honor killings for girls who dare to marry the wrong guys or in love with the wrong guys. Also Indians have tons of aborted girls too. And the fact that you use these women asreason why chinese girls are odds for preferring foreigners is just not right. I’d say Asians, Africans, and many third world societies- share these oppression of women. Even in developed societies, only in recent century women feminism and betterment started and taken seriously. It’s such a young and often misunderstood movement- no more than 1-2 century old- so really, I can’t say I’m surprised it still has lots of hurdles.

  • trogg

    China still keeps marriages alive! While the West is dying and not procreating.

  • ABC

    The Chinese people are always working and have no time to look for love. Unlike other countries, they don’t have the freedom and option to spend time to look for “the one.” No matter how young girls are, they’re always thinking about marriage and the future (how much money you make, do you have a house, what is your occupation). Does love really exist in this country? Or is China’s definition of love different from western countries?

  • maybeabanana

    One woman mentioned that men doesn’t respect women and you ever wonder why? 

    We have this large majority of females that doesn’t do her part in financing herself and expect the male counterpart to provide them a house, a car and other exorbitant luxuries in a marriage is a preposterous and fantastical expectation of a check box qualification while their husband slave away at a job(unless they are government officials and no I’m not a male chauvinist).  Especially when these women themselves wasn’t born with a silver spoon in their cooch box. 

    The term “gold diggers” have a negative connotation for a reason. It is no longer where the majority of women are deemed gold diggers as much as it is a standard where their laziness and redonkulous brains are using “tradition” as a scapegoat for their livelihood. Just because one have a pretty face does not suffice a successful marriage and a deserving life make.  Sure it puts one in a better position to attract the more “eligible” males but there is never a guarantee of fidelity if all her assumptions are base on wealth and stature.

    Posts like these makes me rant the fuck out but really good cinematography and I would be interested in seeing this film and how it plays out.

  • icarusty

    In short – less time working, more time fucking.

  • icarusty

    I think that it is the problem with China and other Far Eastern races. They are at a point re: women’s rights, equality etc. where women do not feel true equals with men in the workplace – yet at the same time, they are free enough not to be subjugated by men, as with the middle east and asia… as a result you get women realising that they can’t escape this culture at home, but can actually leave for another country….I’m sure there are just as many if not more asian women who can’t wait to get out of Asia if they could.

    But that’s where the similarities end. Once “escaped”, Asian women bizarrely want to retain that culture that subjugated them – to the extent of forced marriages, female abortion etc. occuring in white countries. They enjoy the freedoms that are not afforded to them earlier on in life, but force their daughters to face the same.

    Whereas oriental women go the complete opposite way – “my culture is horrible and I want to marry a white man, have white children and for them to grow up white”. Within two generations their wish comes true. Their grandkids are all but white.

    Of course you have the golddiggers and whitewashed women as well (be with whites just because they are white – so a rich, attractive, personable oriental man could be rejected in favour of a poor, fat balding drunk with previous families, all because he is white.

  • icarusty

    We also have a problem with regards to white men in the Far East, spreading malcontent about asian men, not just amongst themselves but most damagingly to asian women as well.

    Additionally talking crap about asians in their secluded forums (not just online, but in white expat bars in China and Japan) amongst themselves also empowers them and makes the white men actually believe the rumours that they start. This has led to white men carrying out daring acts n eastern nations that they wouldn’t dare in indian, black or latino countries… ironically treating asian women as cattle since they can so obviously fuck whoever they want – and genuinely being surprised when they get rejected.

    I also feel that asian men are not exactly acting the part as the “home team” here…. rest assured than other races and nations would put up a better fight than asian men do when foreign men encroach on their “territory”… especially in the case of Asia where there are more men than women, AND that white men are attaining local women on such a massive scale.


      You sound like you’re ranting. I think people would give you more respect and listen to you more if you offered constructive criticism. However, I do have to pretty much agree with most of what you said. Asians are often most racist towards themselves and other asian ethnicities. Sad but true.

  • Looking forward to the release!

  • elchinocabron

    It should be called the “The People’s republic of Children”

  • China is a completely a-moral country, it can’t be compared to the West. The only ‘wrong’ thing here in China is to get caught…

  • Guest

    I was pretty impressed by your motives until I read PUA. Trying to apply, “The Game,” to China… sad. Believing in “The Game,” yourself… pitiful. Yes, teach them to be pick up artists and game women. Guess I should go teach the women how to detect douchebags playing at being real men.

  • HAMHunter

    I can’t wait for this to be released! Looks so interesting & the very topics I found so interesting to learn about when I was living in China. Hope it gets a showing in Australia!!

  • me

    check out my blog and connect me via my qq then you can get a real insight of what love means in china form the eyes of a foreigner who has spent 16 of his years with 3 different chinese girls full time

  • JR

    Regardless where you are, marrying a woman means you need the money. Cos half of women everywhere will say they want a man to make them feel secure. We as men always try to figure out what “secure” means to women. Women will tell you that you don’t need to have tonnes of money, which is true, or that you must have it now, but women need to FEEL that you CAN actually provide for them in the near future. Women are emotional people, and the “feeling” of security doesn’t change what nationality you are, but of course the Chinese take it a little further.

  • Dr Sun

    I married my wife (who is Chinese) because she’s HOT, she married me because I’m rich, or was it the other way around. I forget.

    OK seriously, we married because yes I know it’s lame, boring and old fashioned, but we actually love each other and want to live together. Of course you may say you don’t need to marry for that, but try getting a spousal visa without marriage.

  • Jun Yan

    Will this documentary be released soon? Looking forward to it!

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