Tianjin Football Club Looks At Boys’ Penises To Find Talent

A football player accidentally grabbing another player's crotch.

From Sohu, ifeng, & NetEase:

Chinese men’s football talent selection standard sparks hot debate, choosing good new talent requires examining their genitals

What do you look at when selecting good football players? There are probably many answers, such as looking at height, looking at their legs, looking at their 100 meter times, etc. But if you said you have to look at penises to select football players, you probably would never believer it. However, there are people who do this, and what more, they are the acclaimed Chinese football star cradle [many famous Chinese football stars come from them] Tianjin Locomotive football club. It is said that when they are choosing young players, they will do so in accordance with the shape of the boy’s genitals to determine if this player has the potential to be tomorrow’s star. In other words, whether or not a good sprout [young football talent] can become a Messi, Ronaldo, or Hao Haidong and other stars, one must look at the penis.

Recently, a piece of news regarding talent selection for Chinese football has generated hot debate on the internet: Chinese football star cradle Tianjin Locomotive football club looks at the development of the genitals when selecting new sprouts [new talent, young future football players]. The original text said that apart from a series of physical fitness and basic skill tests, the club will also vary with the individual, adopting some seemingly unscientific “original methods” to select players. What has taken everyone’s breath away most recently is their using the male’s genitals to determine his male hormone levels, to see if he is able to withstand the rigors and intense competition of football athleticism, [because] according to one of the club’s seasoned officials, little boys whose genitals are short but thick and whose scrotums are taught are good new sprouts or football.

Young potential future Chinese football players.

As soon as this text was reported by the media, it was immediately met with netizen derision and condemnation, with many people saying: “The level of ridiculousness of Chinese football can be seen from this.”

Small but thick penises mean less injuries

Though netizens are full of condemnation, this club’s practices have received recognition by male physiological science experts.

Henan Province Oriental Medicine Hospital Integrative Medicine Reproductive Center’s Professor Sun Zixue believes, “Selecting football sprouts this way is very reasonable. Most little boys with short but thick reproductive organs and taut scrotums have normal male hormonal levels. Male’s main hormone is testosterone, 95% of which is secreted by cells in the testes and 5% secreted by the adrenal glands. Moreover, testosterone is not only an element in male sexual arousal, it also allows males to have thicker bones, muscularity, helps the body eliminate excess fat, even quickly physically recover, with the most important being that testosterone provides the body the athletic aggressiveness needed in competition. Since the sport of football is one of regulated, civilized competition, the stronger the aggressiveness, the larger the probabilities of victory. Modern research has already shown that athletes with high levels of testosterone have relatively stronger athletic ability.”

Comments from ifeng:


So this is why, the men’s football players’ penises aren’t good enough!


This is all about men’s football, I wonder where they look when selecting players for women’s football?


Come come come, national football players, at ease. Attention! Take off your pants!


I feel doing this is very necessary. One, you can see whether or not this bunch of athletes have sexually transmitted diseases, to avoid transmission. Two, if it turns out they are sexually impotent, then that would be even better, because they can concentrate on training, and avoid them finding whores before the competitions only for it to affect their performance during the competitions.


Mental retards, definitely mental retards!!!

Comments from Sohu:


We finally know now that the reason why China’s football sucks is because the athletes’ penises are too long, and that Europeans’ penises are short so that’s why their football is niubi! Therefore, Chinese men should feel proud when they see this news, because our penises are longer than Europeans!


Chinese people are way too talented/clever, hahahaha!


No big deal: My penis was inspected during the physical examination when I entered university. The doctor even touched it.


This is the reason why China’s football can’t get sorted out/improved.


Selecting what new talent? For future AV [adult video] stars?


Chinese football [players] are all manly men, can go 90 minutes without ejaculating.

Selecting new talent. Personals @ chinaSMACK.


Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.


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