‘Words of Wisdom’

My in-laws have been married for three decades. They love and respect each other and never fight. I asked my father-in-law for advice when I got married. He said, “When I got married, my father-in-law told me, ‘Never blame your wife for her weaknesses or mistakes. You should know that her weaknesses and mistakes are exactly the reasons why she didn’t find a better husband.'”

Be nice to yourself, because life is short; be nice to others, because you might not be able to meet them again in your next life.

If the Heaven were to impose a great responsibility on this person, it’d first steal his QQ [an online instant messaging service], and then block his Weibo, confiscate his computer, and seize his phone-so that he’d concentrate on studying and pass the exam.

Better to have a physical fight with a gentleman than to have a word with a SB.

It took me more than 20 years to feel comfortable in my own skin, so it’s fine if you don’t like me. After all, I don’t live to please you.

Pigsy has sexual needs, Sandy needs security, Horsy needs belongingness, the Buddhist monk needs honor, and Monkey needs self-actualization. Happy now, Maslow?

I have lost my wife’s favor since our son was born. When I argued with her, she snapped, “Someone else’s son is definitely not as good as my own.

You stay up late, because you don’t have the courage to call it a day; you lie in, because you don’t have the courage to kick off a new day.

When problems come up, first check if they are caused by yourself. Don’t blame the Earth for the lack of gravity when you get constipated.

Q: I have a tattoo of my ex’s name, but we broke up. What can I do now?
A: Add three words after the name: “Is a dumbass“.