Work, School, Love, Dating, & Cheating

Oh Bed, let me go! Don’t be like this…the holiday is over, I’m a person who needs to go to work!

A friend of mine is unemployed. His little nephew said, “Uncle, go get an abortion.” “Why?!” “The radio says you can have an abortion today and can go to work tomorrow.”

My little brother was in a car accident where he was thrown seven meters away, and survived without a single scratch, all because the big school backpack on his back cushioned his fall. He said it was the first time he felt that going to school is useful. Knowledge changes one’s destiny!

A man went to a fortune teller. After touching his bones, looking at his face, and analyzing his “Eight Characters of Birth Time”, the fortune teller said, “You fall in love at 20, get married at 25, have a baby at 30, and you’ll have a lifetime of peace and prosperity, your family life filled with happiness and your late years free from worries.” This person was at first surprised, and then became angry, replying: “I’m 35 years old this year, have a PhD, am a single bachelor, and I have never fallen in love.” Haring this, the fortune teller contemplated for a while and then said, “Young man, knowledge changes one’s destiny.”

Once upon a time, there were two green apples. One day, one apple kissed the other one…and that apple blushed. Then, it was… eaten.

In Titanic, Leonardo said to Rose, “You jump, I jump.” More than ten years later, in Inception, Leonardo told Mal, “(If you jump), I’m not going to (jump with you).” You see, after men mature, they no longer believe in such a thing as love.

At junion high, the teacher in charge of our class encouraged us to focus on our studies and avoid dating when young: “What’s the hurry? The Party will provide you with one [a husband/wife] in the future.” Over the years, I’ve kept these words in mind. Now I’m 28 years old, and I’m still a single Party member…

This is a parody of Chinese Cultural Revolution posters, which reads: "Prepare food, prepare a house, find a wife."