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Work, School, Love, Dating, & Cheating

Prepare food and housing to find a wife
This is a parody of the Cultural Revolution-style posters. This poster says, "Prepare food, prepare housing, and find a wife."

Oh Bed, let me go! Don’t be like this…the holiday is over, I’m a person who needs to go to work!

Cartoon girl in bed.

A friend of mine is unemployed. His little nephew said, “Uncle, go get an abortion.” “Why?!” “The radio says you can have an abortion today and can go to work tomorrow.”

Cute mixed-race little boy.

My little brother was in a car accident where he was thrown seven meters away, and survived without a single scratch, all because the big school backpack on his back cushioned his fall. He said it was the first time he felt that going to school is useful. Knowledge changes one’s destiny!

Asian boy with big black backpack.

A man went to a fortune teller. After touching his bones, looking at his face, and analyzing his “Eight Characters of Birth Time”, the fortune teller said, “You fall in love at 20, get married at 25, have a baby at 30, and you’ll have a lifetime of peace and prosperity, your family life filled with happiness and your late years free from worries.” This person was at first surprised, and then became angry, replying: “I’m 35 years old this year, have a PhD, am a single bachelor, and I have never fallen in love.” Haring this, the fortune teller contemplated for a while and then said, “Young man, knowledge changes one’s destiny.”

Knowledge changes one's destiny

Once upon a time, there were two green apples. One day, one apple kissed the other one…and that apple blushed. Then, it was… eaten.

Chinese apple love story.

In Titanic, Leonardo said to Rose, “You jump, I jump.” More than ten years later, in Inception, Leonardo told Mal, “(If you jump), I’m not going to (jump with you).” You see, after men mature, they no longer believe in such a thing as love.

Jack and Rose flying on the Titanic.

At junion high, the teacher in charge of our class encouraged us to focus on our studies and avoid dating when young: “What’s the hurry? The Party will provide you with one [a husband/wife] in the future.” Over the years, I’ve kept these words in mind. Now I’m 28 years old, and I’m still a single Party member…

Prepare food and housing to find a wife
This is a parody of Chinese Cultural Revolution posters, which reads: "Prepare food, prepare a house, find a wife."

However ugly you are, you should still look for love, [keep looking] until the whole world is filled with love!

Communist Revolution style Chinese poster promoting dating.

A banner in Xiamen University Tan Kah Kee College says: Bring cheating notes to the exam, and never be tall, handsome and rich in your life.

anti-cheating banner

A school came up with this quirky strategy to prevent students from cheating…

Chinese students with folders hung around their heads to prevent cheating during tests and exams.

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Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

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